Experiment 505
by Mahadeva
Summary: The Space Pirates' ultimate weapon escapes captivity. As he makes his way through an unfamiliar universe, he must contend with the galaxy's most dangerous parasites, as well as some truly inner turmoil... I should get rid of this but I feel like I need to read this to remind myself what is and what isn't good writing.
1. Gene Therapy

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Metroid! All right, now that's out of the way, let's begin the story!

I WOKE UP TO FIND myself inside a vat, looking through pink liquid at the barrel of a gun, instantly deciding for me whether or not to taunt its holder. I thought, "_What's this guy's beef?"_ Was it a guy? It looked like a mutant crab. The crab-man with the gun, who I decided to call Gunner, looked at me for a moment, then began to issue orders in a raspy voice to other crab-men. I was surprised that I could understand him-it? He turned away. I took the opportunity to look around. It was a dark room filled with computers and weird machines.

Then I remembered where I was: in a vat filled with liquid. I looked down at myself. I was wearing a pair of shorts, but nothing else. I could see a six-pack, and looking at my arms and legs, I could see they were well-muscled. With that out of the way, I decided to try and figure out what the heck I was doing in this vat. When I tried to remember anything, I drew a blank. _How clichéd, _I thought. I couldn't even remember my name. But I must be pretty important if these goons had me locked up. Suddenly, a rumbling noise shook the room. The crab-men staggered around. Gunner issued orders to attack the… Federation Army? Who were they? Gunner and the crab-men dashed out of the room, through a weird glowing door. A crab-man with a funny suit was left. He glared at me- how could he glare through those bug eyes?- and strode over to a conical machine. I watched him nervously. The crab-man punched some keys on the machine. It whirred to life, and began to flash. On the computer across from my vat, words scrolled across the screen: BEGIN GENE MODIFICATION? Y/N

Gene modification? That didn't sound good. The crab-man pressed some keys on the computer, and the letter Y started to blink. The cone machine began to whir faster. I noticed some cables coming out of the machine. I followed them… right into my vat. The cables began to sag, and as I looked up at the top of the vat, I saw blue stuff issue from holes. The blue stuff sank down, surrounding me. I gazed at it, wondering what would happen now. Then I realized that I wasn't getting any air. The pink liquid had somehow supplied me air, but the pink water was gone. I choked, flailing around, but to no avail. I hazily thought, "_What a way to go,_ and darkness fell.


	2. Experiment 505 Omega

I opened my eyes. _"I'm alive! I'm so gonna boil that crab-man!" _My view was a bit blurry, but a few blinks cleared that up. I was looking through a pink sheen again. The room was unchanged, except for one little thing: There was no ceiling. Rain poured through. It hit the machines, which began to steam like ice on the stove, meaning acid rain. The machines sparked, fizzed, and actually started melting. The computer across from me actually exploded, and I heard my tank give a sigh. A faint glow began to recede, beginning from the top of the tank. I hadn't noticed the glow until now. _An energy shield_, I thought. Wait, what? Where did that come from? I decided to ignore it. On a hunch, I punched the glass. I expected bruised knuckles for my trouble, but I got a hole in the tank. The pink water flowed out, steaming as it touched the rain. Before my common sense kicked in, I smashed the rest of the glass and fell out into the acid rain. I thought that I would burn, but I only felt wet. Another mystery. I got up. _Okay, you're out of the tank. Now find a way out of here, and hopefully a gun._ I decided to try and get information from the un-melted computers. I stumbled over, and tried logging in. The computer responded, _Invalid login_. I tried a few more times, to no avail. Angrily, I slammed my fist down onto the keyboard. Before I could react, glowing emerald tendrils snaked from my arm into the keyboard. The computer began to shine. I could only watch in shock. In a few seconds, the tendrils receded into my wrist. The computer dimmed, with the words _DATA DOWNLOADED _flashing onscreen.

I stared at my fist. What the heck was that? I had no time to wonder, because suddenly I was looking at a file directory. Not on the computer, but in my minds' eye. The directory was labeled, _Space Pirate Science Team_. In my mind, I clicked on the file. Several folders popped up. I decided to open up the one labeled, _EXPERIMENT: 505 OMEGA. _The first file inside was labeled, _EXPERIMENT 505: DAY 1: Our test subject came in today. It is a Human Male, from Colony **** in the ****** Belt in the ****** System. The Human is biologically aged 1.4 decacycles. We have used memory suppressants on the subject._

_EXPERIMENT 505: DAY 2: We used gene modifiers to improve the subject's muscle mass and organ systems. Subject is now an amalgam of the most efficient creatures in the galaxy. _

_EXPERIMENT 505: DAY 3: We have progressed surprisingly quickly. The subject integrated the new genes without any immune responses- a first. Today we are recording the progress of Experiment 505 Omega._

_EXPERIMENT 505: DAY 4: Because the subject integrated the gene modifiers so fast, we can begin integrating technologic systems. We are using a new technique stolen from Galactic Federation labs to liquefy the technology and integrate it as a fluid. Today we put the subject into the vat to begin the process. Subject struggled, killing five Pirate Commandos before we subdued it, proving subject's new aggressive capabilities._

_EXPERIMENT 505: DAY 5: We used more memory suppressants, as the subject was beginning to regain memory. We are recording the progress again today._

_EXPERIMENT 505: DAY 6: We started the technology integration. Subject integrated Hazard Shield successfully, possibly due to Chozo neural network in subject._

_EXPERIMENT 505: DAY 7: We successfully integrated a computer network into subject. When subject focuses, its neural computer network will transmit subject antibodies through special veins into computer to override all antivirus software. Subject is now the most efficient hacker in the known universe._

_EXPERIMENT 505: DAY 8: A member of Science Team had an idea. Subject currently contains Chozo genes, in fact the same genes as the Huntress. We could try to reverse-engineer the Power Suit onto the subject. Just in case, a clone will be made of subject. We decided to begin with Visors. We implanted artificial rods and cones into subject's optical system. Subject now contains organic versions of the Hunter's Echo, Thermal, X-Ray, Scanning, Dark, and Combat Visors. Activated by electrical waves consistent with thought control._

_EXPERIMENT 505: DAY 9: Rather than risk the original subject, Science Team decided to use the clone to test the Morph Ball. Suffice to say, we no longer have a living clone of test subject. Morph Ball abandoned._

_EXPERIMENT 505: DAY 10: Science Team successfully implanted weapons system into subject. Subject can produce Missiles using bone marrow, which is replaced in seconds. Stolen Federation weapons were integrated into subject. Strangely, the subject not only integrated, but also improved all weapons._

_EXPERIMENT 505: DAY 33: The accursed Hunter landed on the planet. She let the Federation in, who subsequently planted a virus. Science Team managed to shut it down, but not before it had wiped much of our data. The Federation is currently storming the planet. We will perform a final gene modification on the subject before leaving. Hopefully, should anyone discover the subject, it will terminate them._

These crazy Pirates were using me as a test subject? I couldn't believe it. I decided to try out these cool powers that the files had mentioned. I focused on the Visors. Suddenly, I found myself looking through an X-ray. I looked around. Sweet! I could see the bones on my hand! I looked down at myself. I could see my anatomy. I ain't a doctor, but I'm pretty sure that humans don't have two hearts- or four lungs! Creepy. I would be a biologist's dream- or a doctor's nightmare. Then I suddenly switched into a weird view. At the top of my vision was a bar and numerical display. In the bottom left, an octagon with several symbols was rotating. Above it was a picture of a missile and another numerical display. In the bottom right was another bunch of symbols. Above it was another bar, with a hazard symbol on top. The bar was filled up, and the hazard symbol was flashing. In the bottom left, I noticed some words: COMBAT VISOR. Huh. Well, it sure seemed meant for combat. I decided that I'd had enough. I focused, and my vision returned to normal. Then I decided to try using the weapons. I concentrated. Suddenly, a rack protruded out of my left arm. There was no pain, though. I concentrated more, and five missiles launched out of the rack. They flew haphazardly, zooming about. One of them blew up the vat. Another destroyed the cone machine. Two of them crashed into each other. The last one hit a red door in the corner. The door exploded, revealing a bluish door behind it. I concentrated more, and the rack receded. I stared at my arm, freaked out. I was a freaking weapon! As I thought about that, I realized that I was missing my left hand! "_Holy crap! Where's my hand? I had it like three seconds ago! Aagh!" _As I was inwardly screaming, I felt warmth in my stump as a red laser burst out of it. The laser hit a computer, melting it into slag. Then my hand popped out of my arm. I reeled back. After getting over the initial shock, I figured that I really didn't want to spend my life in this room. I looked up at the sky. Rubble in one corner formed a mound. I walked over to the mound, and climbed up on it. From there, I leaped up to the remains of the roof. I pulled myself up, and looked around. The whole place was orange. Not an orange orange, but a lava orange. I ignored the orange, looking for a door. I spied another of the energy doors on a catwalk maybe ten feet up. I looked around for a way up, but saw nothing. Gritting my teeth, I searched the wall for handholds. I found some, and began my ascent. I almost slipped, but luckily I made it up without any injuries. But I still had to figure out how to open the door. I decided to try a missile on it. Concentrating, I fired the missile into the door. The missile blew up against the door. The door receded into the walls, and I found myself looking at the barrel of yet another gun.


	3. A Chance Meeting and a Sedative Sweet

"Point that somewhere else!" I snapped. Then I looked at who I was talking to. It was a man in a huge orange exosuit, with a barrel for a right arm. Exosuit Man just stared at me. I stared right back. Then Exosuit Man spoke. "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

I answered, "I don't know, and I'm a test subject for some crabs called Space Pirates. Would you mind telling me where 'here' is?" I sensed surprise in Exosuit Man. He spoke, "You are on the Space Pirate Homeworld."

"Gee, that's informative. Now that we know where we are, can I ask you who YOU are?" Exosuit Man replied, "My name is Samus Aran, bounty hunter for the Galactic Federation."

I could tell that Samus was not someone to cross. With that gun, he looked capable of defeating an army. But I could tell something was up. I focused, and found myself looking through an X-ray. I gazed at the suit, trying to see the man on the inside. But there was no man in the suit- that was a woman! She looked like she was in her twenties. I gasped. "You're a girl?"

"How did you know that, kid?" Even though I couldn't see through the helmet, I could tell that Samus was just as surprised as I was. "My secret," I said. She stared at me, sizing me up. "All right. I have secrets of my own. Now let's focus on getting you out of here."

I sat in the copilot's seat of Samus' gunship. It was a sleek machine, no doubt. Probably cost a small fortune. Samus was conducting systems checks. While she did that, I decided to try and glean information from the ship's computers. I casually rested my arm on the dashboard. Immediately, the tendrils snaked out, worming their way through the keys. In seconds, they retracted. I went through the files in my head quickly. Apparently, Samus had been orphaned as a child, adopted by the Chozo, and risen through the ranks with her Chozo-gifted Power Suit to become the Federation's top hunter. She was famous for ending the Phazon Crisis, whatever that was, and the extermination of the Metroid species. I felt a slight pang at that, but I dismissed it. Recently, she had destroyed a space station infested with parasites to end that threat, but the Federation was breathing down her neck because of it. Samus finished her systems checks, and the ship took off. "Is there anywhere to sleep?" I asked. She pointed her thumb at the cargo bay. I walked in to find a sleeping bag and pillow. I lay down and fell asleep instantly.

"INTRUDER! INTRUDER! INTRUDER!" I was jarred awake by a harsh, blaring voice. I got up and dashed into the cockpit. I entered to see Samus talking to the computer. "It's all right, Adam! I found him in the Space Pirate Homeworld. I'm taking him to Norion."

"Well, I don't know. Yesterday, someone hacked into the ship. Whoever they were, it was a brilliant hack. I only detected it because I was performing the electronics check. They took a copy of your personal files." I swallowed. Just then, Samus turned. "Good, you're awake. Listen, I'm taking you to Norion."

"Why Norion? Why not Earth?" I asked.

"Norion's closer." She got up and strode off. I took my seat in the copilot's chair. "So you're the boy Samus found on the Pirate Homeworld?"

I started. "What the- who's that?"

"I am Adam, the computer on this ship."

"Huh. Cool. So you're what, a cyborg or something?"

"No, I am an AI construct."

"Yeah, whatever."

The computer lowered its volume. "Listen, boy. I know you hacked into this ship. The only reason I didn't tell Samus was because I want to know: how did you do it? You didn't touch the keys. I know that. So tell me. How did you do it?"

I lowered my voice. " What are you, nuts? Can a computer even be insane? How could I hack into the ship if I _didn't touch anything?_"

"Well, er-"

"Exactly. Crazy tin can." I got up, a little shaken from the conversation. I felt hungry. So I looked around. I found a cup of cereal in the cargo bay. Not much, but it would do. I finished the cereal in time to hear Samus call out, "We've reached Norion."

The ship touched down on the landing pad. We came out of the ship. I looked around. The city was a nice place, with lots of greenery. Sleek durasteel buildings towered above me. Samus led me to an infirmary. She had a couple of quick words with the receptionist, who had a few doctors lead me to a room. But it didn't look like any doctor's office I could think of, with several machines lining the walls. Of course, since I had artificial amnesia, I couldn't remember my last visit. The docs sat me down, although I really didn't want to. The place reminded me of the Space Pirates' labs. I asked, "Hey, what are you doing?"

The doctors replied, "We're conducting some tests on you to determine what the Pirates did."

"Erm, about that-"

"Not now. Here, eat this." The doctor handed me a cookie. I tentatively chewed it. It tasted pretty good, but there was a slight off-taste to it. I figured that it was just stale. I finished the cookie and waited. After a few minutes, I asked, "What's going on? Aren't you going to test me?"

The doctors were in shock, though I had no idea why. "Hey, what's going on? What's with the looks?"

One of them whispered, "I don't believe it. That cookie had a strong enough sedative to knock out a bull Hopper in five seconds."

I got angry. "What do you mean, a sedative? You quacks were trying to drug me? I'm outta here!" I hopped off the table and strode angrily for the door. I opened it and strode toward the door. The doctors yelled, "Call security!" Two men ran out of a door behind me. One of them tried to grab me, but I clutched his arm and swung him over my shoulder like a bowling ball. He flew into his friend, KOing the both of them. The doctors just stared, their mouths gaping. I snapped, "You might want to shut those before a fly gets in." With those parting words, I walked out of the infirmary into the streets of Norion.


	4. New Recruit

The sun shone down with an intensity that could only be described as furious. It was like the sun was trying to vaporize everything with its intense heat, just to prove its strength. I shielded my eyes from the glare, and surveyed the scene. On my left, a sign read "22ND AVE.". I stared at it for a few moments before I realized to my left meant thirty feet. Now I was an optometrist's dream, too. I seemed to be the ultimate in –ologists' reveries. I spent a second pondering that. Then I dashed away from the infirmary, knowing that they'd send a) cops, b) doctors, or c) all of the above. I ran for what seemed like minutes before I got tired. I felt a bit fat, before I realized that the sun had set. That meant almost ten hours had elapsed while I was running. Reassured that I was not out of shape, I examined the area. A nearby sign read, "1456TH AVE." Boy, that was a long way away from 22nd Avenue. The sun set, engulfing the area in darkness for a split second before the illuminators came on. The illuminators lit up the square. I carefully examined my surroundings in case the cops were there. Thankfully, only a couple of hoods were nearby. They looked pretty shady, though. The two of them used a sparker to light their electro-cigars. With their electro-cigars in mouth, they got up. One of them noticed me. With a grim smile, he advanced on me. I stood my ground, refusing to be cowed by these greasy fools. Hood #2 watched his buddy from the alley he was standing in. Hood 1 stopped five feet away from me. "Aww, kid, it's too dangerous to be walking the streets after sundown. You might run into some shady characters… like US!" With the last word, he pulled out a switchblade. "Gimme everythin' you got. Or we'll take your guts instead. Capische?" I stood there quietly, and in a firm voice said, "Give me a break. The only thing scaring me is how stupid I would look to be seen near you."

He snarled angrily and spat, "Wrong answer." He lunged, while his friend stood apathetically in the shadows. Instinct overruled my common sense, so I stood like a moron. But at the last second, my arm shot out of its own accord, deftly knocking the switch backwards out of his hand. The switch sailed through the air, and into the hood's stomach. We both stared it, watching blood slowly ooze out from the wound. He looked up shakily, and stared at me. His eyes wouldn't meet mine. He tugged the switchblade out of his stomach with equally shaky hands. Once the bloody switch was back in his pocket, he fled in terror and pain. I watched him go, and turned to Hood #2 . The hood didn't notice me, as he was talking on his ear com. He finished speaking, and looked up. Then he saw me. Quickly, he fled as well. I stood there, waiting until I could see them no longer. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of gray and blue. I turned swiftly. "Who's there?" I called. No answer, predictably, but I noticed a haze, like a heat mirage. The sun had set, bringing with it a noticeable drop in temperature, so that heat haze was unnatural. I lunged at the haze and released a powerful kick. My foot collided with thin air and I heard something crack. Weirdly enough, that crack was not my foot. The heat haze moved backward rapidly, stopping when it reached the illuminator pedestal. "Ack!" came a voice from the haze. Grey armor appeared at the spot. A cop. I settled into a defensive position. "Who the hell are you?" I barked.

"Easy, easy, kid. Wow! That is a powerful foot you have there, sonny!" The man in the armor chuckled. I wasn't in the mood for jokes. "What do you want?" I snarled. The man's chest plating was cracked and dented. He followed my gaze and looked down at his armor. "Like I said, that's a strong kick. Nothing short of a Federation laser could even scratch this baby." I could tell that he was impressed, even though his calm, cheerful voice gave nothing away. I refused to let up my guard. "Talk. What are you doing here?"

"Whoa, whoa, kid. Easy. I'm just on patrol."

I snorted. "As if. If you were on patrol, why use the camouflage? I can tell that you're lying. I want the truth. Or the next kick is going right through the armor- and everything in it."

He knew I wasn't bluffing. "All right, kid, ya got me. I was sent in to catch you."

"By those quacks on 22nd ?"

"No. By the Federation. Kid, even if you don't know it, you're practically a lab rat in and of yourself. You're the product of so much stolen tech and genetics-"

I cut him off. "I know. So what do the Feds want with me? A dissection? A stasis tank? Death for being this way?"

He was shocked by my cold, sharp voice. "No. We want to recruit you. Hell, kid, you could be the ultimate weapon."

I considered. "What's in it for me?"

"Well, you'll get a place to stay and a paycheck."

"And if I refuse?"

"You don't have a choice." Even as he spoke the words, he drew out an old-fashioned taser. He was incredibly quick on the draw, but I was quicker. Faster than a Quillian viper, I yanked the taser out of his grip. We studied each other. Finally, I spoke. "Let's compromise. I won't be a full soldier. Instead, I'l be the galaxy's youngest mercenary. All right?"

He didn't look pleased, but he nodded. "All right."

"Good." I squeezed the taser and tossed it back. He immediately tried to fire it. The taser didn't react. I produced a grim smile. "What's wrong?" He gave me a sheepish glare. I turned around and said, "I'll be here in the morning."

**Well, in the space of one day, our hero landed on Norion, escaped a laboratory, almost killed someone,** **and got recruited by the Galactic Federation. Quite a day, wouldn't you say? I am accepting OC's for the next chapters. If you have any suggestions, give me a name and description of your character in your reviews. Don't forget to read and review. **

**Next chapter, our hero will meet an unexpected surprise!**


	5. Wait, Doctor who?

I woke up inside a vat. "_WTF?"_ I thought. I was just on Norion. Now I was back in the laboratory on the Space Pirate's planet. Gunner was there, glaring at me, as if to say, "You escaped once, but not this time." Suddenly, the liquid in the vat drained out. Almost simultaneously, the vat swung open. I fell onto the floor, coughing out fluids. I attempted to pick myself up, but I felt a prick on my shoulder. Instantly, all the strength I had deserted me. I dropped onto the floor. I dimly heard Gunner call for some grunts to pick me up. They carried me out of the room. I could only see the floor, though. After a couple of minutes, they dumped me onto a table. I managed to garner enough strength to look around. Immediately, I wished that I hadn't. Instruments of all shapes crowded the tables around mine. Some of them were stained. I swallowed, wondering which of the malevolent instruments they would use. A Pirate wearing some kind of biohazard suit strode over to me, pausing briefly to grab a sharp-looking saw. At this, a burst of adrenaline surged through me. I swung up, off the table. My hand closed around the first thing it touched- a sharp syringe. I launched the syringe at the biohazard Pirate, embedding it in his forehead. He dropped with a gurgle. The Pirates swarmed towards me. As I watched them dumbly, something inside me clicked. My left hand receded into the arm, leaving a hollow. The Pirates hissed in fear, hesitating. My arm swung up. A green burst of light emanated from it, striking one of the Pirates. He was thrown off his feet into a surgical lance. Ouch. I winced at the sight. That wince cost me. The Pirates had recovered and retaliated. A burst of the same light shot from one of their guns, slamming into me. I was thrown off my feet as well, only into the wall, thankfully. I got up. As the Pirates surged forward, I felt anger. The Pirates were just bullies, striking only with the advantage of numbers. My arm tingled, and the next burst was bright red. It incinerated the next Pirate. I stood there, yelling, "Which one's next? Huh? Or are you too scared?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something swivel in the back of the room. I glanced at it, and then returned my attention to the Pirates. Bad move. The object was an electroturret. I realized it too late as electricity pulsed out of the machine into my chest. I staggered in pain, as the Pirates seized the opportunity to put more bolts of energy into me. As electricity and energy pounded my body, I finally felt something pause in my chest, before darkness fell again.

I woke up with a pain in my chest, feeling like I'd just gone into cardiac arrest. I was on an operating table. I looked at my chest- and wished that I hadn't. My chest was open. I could see my four lungs pulsing, my guts lying in the cavity. But what I didn't see was a heart. I looked over in shock. Tubes led from my chest into a pale white machine. Red liquid sloshed through the tubes. I suddenly realized that I was being kept alive by an artificial heart machine. I watched my stomach churn, as I resisted the urge to puke. I turned my head to the other side to see Gunner keeping watch. He released a clicking sound. A technician came over through a door. Gunner and the technician exchanged a few words, then the technician walked over to me. I watched him dimly, and then registered a sucking sound. I managed to look at my chest to see the tubes keeping me from meeting Death were disconnected. Darkness consumed me immediately.

I woke to a bright sun. My stomach churned as I happily realized that it had just been a nightmare. Then I got up. A dark-skinned woman was watching me. As I registered the fact, my adrenaline kicked in and I leaped up. The woman recoiled, startled. I settled into an aggressive pose. "Who are you?" I asked. "My name is Martha. Hang on, let me get the Doctor."

"What doctor? No quack is drugging me!"

"No, not _a_ doctor, _the_ Doctor."

"Yes, definitely a 'the' in the name." I spun around. A young, fair-skinned man with brown hair was examining me. Although he looked gentle enough, I was careful. "Hi," he said, "I'm the Doctor. This is my friend, Martha Jones. What's your name?"

I shrugged. "You don't know? Hmm," he said as he pulled out a large wand. I eyed it apprehensively. He looked down. "This? Oh, this is my sonic screwdriver. It can do a lot of things." He fiddled with it and pointed it at me. Like a snake, I snatched it out of his grasp, pointed it at him, and pressed the trigger. The screwdriver whined, but nothing happened. The Doctor snatched it right back, pointed it at me, and activated it. "Hmm. Quite a mix. You have human genes, Zebesian genes, Reptilicus genes, and DNA from several other races. Wow! A Chozo neural network!" His friend Martha asked, "What's so special about the… the Chozo?"

He answered, "They were a brilliant race of bird humanoids. Gifted folks. Their technology was some of the most advanced in the universe. At their peak, their tech rivaled basic technology of the Time Lords. Pretty brilliant, when you consider that even basic stuff like my sonic is more brilliant then most of the technology in the next twelve galaxies. So our friend here- err, sorry, what's your name?"

I shrugged. "Don't remember. My earliest memory is waking up in a tank and being subjected to gene therapy."

"Blimey!" exclaimed Martha.

The Doctor continued, "So you can interface with any and all Chozo technology. Plus a whole lot of other species' tech as well. To top it off, you're smarter than the average supercomputer, but much more human. Your Reptilicus and Zebesian DNA gives you augmented aggressive and defensive capabilities. The other DNA in you gives you qualities such as limited regeneration. Pretty cool, eh?" Then he suddenly changed the subject. "Martha, I think this is what the TARDIS led us to. You know, kid," he said, turning to face me, " I don't want to call you just 'kid'. D'you have any knowledge on your name?"

I shrugged. "I was called Experiment 505."

"Experiment 505… hmm… er…ahh.." Martha sprang to his rescue. "505 looks like SOS. Your initials can be SOS."

I nodded. "Okay. How about "Sam Oscar, um, Sarmon?"

The Doctor appraised the name. "Sam Oscar Sarmon. Not bad. I like it, Sam."

He continued. "Okay, Sam. Martha and I need your help. You see, my sonic detected a hypertopographic fractal generator."

I blinked. "A hyper-y'know what, I won't even try."

He ignored me. " These fractal generators can be used to warp spacetime."

"So?"

"There are quite a few races out there that would pay with blood for this. Especially the Kriken Empire. I know where the generator is. The problem is that it is safeguarded by a Chozo mental lock. Not even Time Lords can break those. But with your neural network, you can break it."

I thought about it. "So? If you can't use it, what's the problem? And what's in this for me?"

He told me, " The lock is currently deactivated by one 'Samus Aran'. A bounty hunter, I hear. It's a quite distasteful occupation, in my opinion. Ms. Aran deactivated the lock under a fluid chip."

"A what?"

"A fluid chip. Alters the brain chemistry of the victim to obey a programmed master. It's usually implanted in surgery, so lots of villains use them in henchmen. Although Ms. Aran seems to have gotten the fluid chip under different circumstances. Wonder how? But that isn't the point. Ms. Aran is now under the control of a certain villain who is selling her services to the highest bidder."

" Okay. So what's in it for me?"

He sighed. "Teenagers. Always the same. Okay, look. If you help, I'll pay you. How does five hundred credits sound?

I thought about it for all of five seconds. "Deal."

Martha started to ask, "How are you goi-" The Doctor cut her off. "Not now!" he hissed. I knew enough about payment to know that something fishy was going on. I demanded, "Show me the money! How do I know that you've got the dough?"

He chuckled. "Hey, I don't renege on my promises." He pulled out 500 Credits from his pocket. I snatched them away. "Okay, then. Let's go."

He led me to a funny blue box. It was tall, and looked cramped. "Just how the hell do you propose we all fit in there?" I wondered. He opened the door, and ushered me in. I followed dolefully, through the door. Then I stopped in shock. The inside of the box was this gigantic room. It looked like the bridge of a star freighter. Machines everywhere beeped, vying for my attention. A few amenities were there. I spun around, trying to take in everything. "Does this answer your question?" sniggered the Doctor. I was too busy staring at everything to retort. A sudden tightening in my chest reminded me to breathe. Then I remembered something. "Hey, listen. I can't go today. Some soldier is coming to talk to me."

The Doctor snorted. "Don't worry," he assured me, "we'll be back before then."

"Well, okay," I said doubtfully. "C'mon. Let's do this before I realize what the hell I'm doing."

"Great!" chirped the Doctor. He slammed the door shut, and pushed some buttons. The box began to shake. While keeping my balance, I explored the room. But our journey ended just minutes later. The box stopped shaking, and the Doctor strode towards the door, yanking it open. Martha and I followed. We stood for a few seconds, blinking to accustom ourselves to the light discrepancies. We were inside an alleyway flanked by troposphere-piercing skyscrapers. I looked up, but couldn't see their tops. "Where the heck are we?" I asked.

"Welcome to Earth," said the Doctor.

"Wait a minute! This hyper-thingy is on _Earth_? This is like those old sci-fi movies! Why is everything important to the Universe on Earth?"

"Humans are such a primitive species that they would never figure out how to use this technology."

"Gee, thanks." I snapped.

The Doctor shook his head. "No. You are quite a bit smarter than most everyone on this planet. Now, let's find that fractal generator."

"HALT!" A loud voice emanated from our left. We spun to see a soldier in armor stride towards us. "_Why does everything stride towards me?_" I thought. The soldier stopped in front of us and said, "What are you doing? Where did that box come from?"

The Doctor said, "That isn't ours."

"'Course it is," he spoke. "You stepped out of it."

The Doctor gave a sheepish grin. I figured it would be best to get out fast. Before anyone could react, I released a punch at one point at the helmet. The soldier chuckled. "Nice try, kid," he said. "This armor is impenetra-" Then he stopped, because the helmet was crumbling around his face. The helmet disintegrated to reveal the face of a woman. She had jet-black hair and chocolate eyes. "_WTF? Another girl in armor?"_ I thought. "How the-what the hell just happened?" Her voice was incredulous. The Doctor stepped up. "Look, we're here to stop Samus Aran from bringing the Kriken Empire to Earth."

"Samus Aran? Are you insane? Samus is a hero! She's my idol! Why would she bring the Krikens to Earth?" She spoke quicker now, as if trying to hold back something. "Samus Aran is the reason I'm in this armor. She's a trailblazer for women." Then she clammed up, probably fearing she looked like a fangirl.

The Doctor said, "Look, Ms. Aran is currently under the effects of a fluid chip. She is going to activate a hypertopographical fractal generator to warp the Krikens to Earth. Can you help?"

She snapped, "Why should I believe you?"

I retorted, "If you don't, I will knock your head off your shoulders."

She decided that it was a good reason. "Fine. Come on."

She led us through the winding streets to a public restroom that smelled like a whole species had died in there. I nearly choked. The Doctor's face wrinkled up, and Martha actually did choke. While we were trying to get oxygen into our lungs, the soldier led us to a stall. She forced us all in. We stood there awkwardly. After a few seconds, the soldier flushed. Without a sound, the whole stall slid underground. The stink vanished. I decided to try and strike up a conversation. "What's your name?" I asked the soldier.

"Taylor. Private Maria Taylor. What's yours?" Her voice was cold and stiff.

"My name's Sam." With those words, the stall stopped descending. We stepped out into a chrome corridor. "Come on," said Maria. She led us through winding corridors. Luckily, we didn't encounter anyone except a young technician. He was about to call security before I knocked him out with a chop to the windpipe. Behind the technician were doors that said, "WARNING. HYPERTOPOGRAPHY DISTORTION WITHIN TWENTY YARDS." "Um, what's a hyper-thing distortion?" I questioned.

"A warp in the fabric of spacetime," answered the Doctor. A keypad and retinal scanner were on the door. Maria sighed. "There's no way through." I ignored her and stepped up. She warned, "If you get the keypad code wrong once, this whole place will come down on us." I tuned her out, focusing. I placed my hand on the keypad. I watched in silence as the tendrils extended down my wrist into the keypad. Within seconds, they had worked their magic. They retracted and the huge doors slid open. Martha and Maria were slack-jawed. In unison, they stammered, "How did-what just-how-?" I ignored them. I turned towards the Doctor and said, "Come on." He was the only one who seemed unsurprised, but for a slight raising of his left eyebrow. I led the group through. We walked through. We trudged onwards for hours. But no matter how long we walked, the door was still only twenty yards away. "Hey! What's the deal? We've been walking for hours but the door's been twenty yards away the whole time!" I exclaimed. The Doctor said, "A hypertopographical distortion. Give me a second." He pulled out the wand thing-what was it again? Oh yeah, a sonic screwdriver. He pulled it out and fiddled with it. Aiming it forward, he squeezed the trigger. A loud screeching filed my ears. Grimacing, I looked forward to see what looked like the fabric of space turning into glass and shattering. The Doctor switched off his screwdriver. "Keep walking," he instructed us. With our heads ringing, we walked forward. This time, we were rewarded by progress. Within minutes, we were engulfed in darkness. A few more minutes and we saw a light. "Look!" exclaimed Martha. She took the lead. We stumbled out of the dark into a vast chamber. In the center of the grey chamber was a large white pillar, connected to several smaller black pillars that ringed the room. At the base of the largest pillar stood a familiar gold exosuit. Maria gasped, "It's Samus!" Samus Aran stood there with her barrel plugged into a socket at her eye level. Then we noticed the other occupants in the room. Multiple Space Pirates swarmed towards us. Maria killed some quickly, and the Doctor used his screwdriver to blast the whole lot away. I commanded, "Deal with the Pirates! I have a bounty hunter to catch." Maria and Martha were about to argue, but the Doctor silenced them. "He is the only person in this galaxy with the potential to do what he said." Somehow, they listened. I advanced on Samus. Behind me, the group took on the horde. When I was twenty feet away, Samus unplugged her cannon and turned. She released a Plasma Beam. I leaped aside. I dashed towards her, dodging all of the blasts. I pounced on her, and began to pulverize the helmet. She threw me off and followed up with a missile. It collided square with me, blasting me into the wall. I groaned. I tried again, only to be rewarded with more missiles, knocking the message in that my strategy was a grade-A fail. I looked around. Maria and Martha were dealing with five Pirates, while the Doctor dueled a group of Commandos. Then a plan struck me. I smashed my fist into the wall a few times, putting holes in it. I climbed onto the wall, using the holes and handholds. Punching more handholds into the wall, I climbed onto a pillar. I concentrated, and my vision was replaced by an X-ray. Looking around at the pillars, I detected structural weaknesses on each pillar. I focused again and a missile rack emerged from my arm. I launched missiles at each pillar. They collided with the weak points. Each pillar collapsed in on itself. The main pillar's white hue noticeably dimmed. I aimed at the pillar below my feet. Just before firing, I leaped off. The missile brought down the last pillar. The pillar in the middle turned coal black. Samus turned to face me. I focused, and my vision changed again. In the corner of my vision were the words _COMBAT VISOR_. The missile rack disappeared, and so did my arm. I freaked out a bit, but got back under control. We circled each other. "Let's dance," I muttered.

I quickly took the initiative and lunged at Samus. My brain detected her armor's weak points and my arm loosed shots. I felt something. Elation. I giggled as my attacks forced Samus backwards. She grunted. I refused to let up, hammering her with bright red beams. Her armor began to smoke. Then she surprised me. She suddenly went from a seven-foot warrior to a little orange ball. She rolled towards me, and dropped a large sphere beneath my feet. I quickly retreated, and not a moment too soon. The sphere exploded, vaporizing twenty-five Space Pirates. She returned to normal. As I began to recover from the shock, she retaliated by pounding me with a freaking flamethrower. I screeched in pain. When she stopped, I looked down at myself. My clothes were badly scorched, and my skin was gone in several places. But I could see new skin reforming. I recalled the Doctor's words about my ability to regenerate. But I couldn't get any closer to Samus. She would blast me beyond regeneration in seconds before I did enough damage. Then I thought of something. I ran towards her, dodging shots. I leaped onto her shoulders and yanked off her helmet. Then I applied my palm to her neck. Immediately, I was floating in midair, looking at a bunch of thoughts. A large thought towered over me. It read, "HELP PIRATES". Unlike the other thoughts in Samus's head, this one was strangely artificial-looking. I began to cast my senses about. Then I noticed a flash. I floated over. There, in the corner, trapped inside a cage, was none other than Samus Aran. She looked up, and her grim expression was replaced by shock. "What the- How did you get in my head?"

I replied, "Ask later. Do you know where the fluid chip is?"

She replied, "Yes. It's over there. That artificial-looking thought."

I asked, "How did you get infected by the chip?"

"New Pirate tech. They blasted me with a blue beam a while back. It somehow contained the chip. Now get out of my head!" she yelled. I ignored her and floated over to the chip. I grabbed it and willed my tendrils to get it. They swarmed out and plugged into the thought. It slowly began to shrink, expelling gas. Finally, it had shrunk to nothing. The cage around Samus broke. She floated over and said, "How did you do that? Never mind. Just GET-OUT-OF-MY-HEAD!" I was forced back into reality. I hopped off of Samus' shoulders. "You're welcome," I snapped. She turned to face me and said, "Thanks." Then she proceeded to slaughter every Space Pirate in the room.

"Well, good-bye Sam! I hope you had a good time!" called the Doctor. I chuckled. "Yeah, I had a good time." We were back on Norion. Maria had gotten to meet her idol, who was surprisingly cheerful while talking to her. That was the only thing cheerful about Samus. She had eyed me with interest, but left without a word. The Doctor had brought me back to Norion, just a few seconds after we had left, just as he had promised. Now he was leaving. Personally, I wasn't sad to see him go. I watched the blue box vanish. Then I turned. Since I hadn't eaten in a couple of days, I went to a café and spent some of my credits. While I was eating, a shadow fell over me. I looked up to see the man who had recruited me the night before. Then I felt about twelve hundred gigajoules of pure electricity arc down my body. I sat for a few seconds, then sagged. My last thought was, "_Couldn't he have just talked to me?"_

**Well, betcha weren't expecting to see the Doctor and Martha, huh?**

**Cardcopternicole, I think we'll be seeing more of Maria. Which reminds me, I am still accepting OCs. Give me descriptions in your reviews. And don't forget to keep reading and reviewing! I'm sorry this took so long to come out. My computer crashed and then I didn't have much time to write this chapter. **


	6. Basic Training

"Hey, I think he's waking up."

I heard a couple of low, raspy voices and a higher, chirpy female voice. I opened my eyes. "What the- where is this?" I sat up. To my right stood a Luminoth and a Phrygisian. On the left, a Jovian sat. The Luminoth spoke. "My name is L-Una. My friend here is called Crytik." The Jovian bubbled, "Hi! I'm Callisto! Who're you?" I groaned. "Ow, my head… My name is Sam. Where are we?"

Crytik said, "This is Federation Base Neptune, in the Corona System, on the planet Tallon III. We are new recruits-albeit unwilling ones."

"What do you mean 'unwilling'?"

The Luminoth gave off a low purring sound. I realized that it must be a laugh. He replied, " Let me guess. You were sitting to rest, when you looked up into the eyes of a man you had spoken to the previous night and felt over a thousand gigajoules of electricity. Then you woke up here. That's what I call 'unwilling'." I sighed and said sarcastically, "What are you, a psychic?"

L-Una chuckled. "No, I am not a psychic. Psychic premonitions are-"

"He was being sarcastic, bug-brain," snapped Callisto. She returned her attention to me and said, "You're cute." I blushed. "Erm, thanks?" She giggled and got up. I got out of the bed. Looking at myself, I saw that I was clad in some pajamas. Crytik said helpfully, "There are some clothes in there." He pointed to a door in the corner. I staggered through and into a bathroom. A jumpsuit and boxers my size was hanging on a rack, while some toiletries marked with my name were sitting on the sink. I washed up and changed my clothes. Feeling refreshed, I stepped out. L-Una said, "Come. It is time for breakfast." He led Crytik and me out of the room and into a busy hall, where species of all kinds dashed about. L-Una guided us through the racket into a large cafeteria. We went over to a line and picked up trays. The serving droids dropped these blobs onto our trays, and handed us a bottle of water. We found a mostly empty table. Sitting with us was Callisto and an Alies from Aliehs IV. When Callisto saw us I thought she would explode. She burst out, "!"

"Wait. Can you slow down like, um, twelve times and repeat?" I asked. She articulated, "Hii guuyys, its sooo good toooo see youuu. Mannn, thisss fooood isss raaank. Whaaat classssesss doooo weeee havvvve anddd boyyyy you'rrrrre reaaaallllly cute."

Crytik responded, "It's good to see you, too. Of course this food sucks. It's leftover rations from the food fight last week. I think we have Weapons Training, Basic Tactics, and Stealth this morning. And you already told Sam that you think he's cute about twenty-seven minutes ago." I looked down at my tray. The mass of food was busy congealing into a discolored lump. My stomach rumbled like a volcano, so I choked down the greasy blob. L-Una grabbed my arm as soon as I had finished. "Come on," he said, "I'm supposed to show you around. Your first class is Weapons Training." He dragged me out of the room through two hallways into a dull-white starkly lit room. Three columns of twelve tables each stretched towards a big main desk and a holoboard. When L-Una dragged me in, the whole class turned to face me. I saw Phrygisians, humans, Vhozon, Jovians, and a few other unidentifiable species. At the front was a large, scowling Luminoth. He glared at me, before barking out, "Worms! The new recruit has arrived! Recruit, your name!"

"Sam, sir!" I replied.

"Sit down, you greaseball! I didn't tell you to speak!"

"But you jus-"

"SIDDOWN YOU PUNK!" he practically screamed. I lunged for the nearest empty table and sat. He continued, " As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted-" he glared at me then-"we will be practicing using weapons today out on Practice Field 12-K. Let's go, worms! And you," he snarled at me, "drop and gimme 300!"

"What the-"  
>"I SAID DROP!"<p>

"Yessir!" I yelped as I began to pushup.

After my ordeal, L-Una led me through some corridors and through a door. We stepped into the harsh sunlight. The Luminoth coach, upon seeing me, said, "Now that our new recruit has had fun being LATE- " I chafed in anger- "we will be using Federation freeze guns and assault rifles in this exercise. Used properly, this combination can save you a great amount of ammo. Now, we will be using some Warp Hounds to test your skill. You will each be given a freeze gun and rifle with 600 bullets. At the end of the exercise, you must have at least 300 bullets left to pass. Anyone who has at least 540 bullets at the end, with perfect accuracy, will be given high-quality rations for tonight."

The Luminoth passed out the weapons. We were split into teams. Thankfully, L-Una and I were paired up. He had the Freeze Gun, and I held the assault rifle. Then the Luminoth coach forced each team into separate arenas.

L-Una and I examined our surroundings. Above us were a network of girders. The walls were made of durasteel. L-Una remarked, "Perhaps we can collapse the girders onto our foes."

I nodded. On the far side of the room, a panel slid open, admitting twelve Warp Hounds into the arena. They roared a challenge when they spotted us. L-Una squeaked. I could tell already that no amount of bullets would stop twelve Hounds. So we had to improvise. "L-Una! Freeze the girders! NOW!" L-Una nodded briefly and launched some shots at the girders. They were ineffectual, though. The Hounds were loping closer. "Charge the shot!" I told him. He charged it up and fired. The girder showed signs of frost, now. "Keep firing," I told him. "I'll deal with the Hounds." He nodded before realizing what I had said. I dashed towards the Hounds. The Hounds hesitated. Maybe they were laughing at my immense idiocy. I vaulted onto one's back and punched my hand through its spine. It bellowed in pain. Like something out of Immortal KombatantsTM, I yanked out its spine and used it to bludgeon the Warp Hound to death. When I looked at L-Una, he stared at me and said, "Wow. That… was gruesome. Behind you!" I ducked as a Hound leaped over me. I jumped on it and yanked its fur. The Hound bellowed and started turning in a circle. L-Una yelled, "The girders are frozen!" I aimed my rifle at the girders and fired a few shots at the their support bolts, shattering them. The girder network groaned. It buckled with a yawn. I yanked on the Warp Hound's fur once more. It turned and charged its friends in pain. I leaped off the Warp Hound and made a break for safety. The girders finally snapped and fell. I made a last-ditch dive, just missing the girders as they crushed the Warp Hounds. The dust settled as I looked up into L-Una's face. He sighed with relief, and said, "Don't do that ever again! I'd be killed if you were!"

I chuckled. "Gee, it's nice to know you care."

The doors out opened. I checked my rifle ammunition: 563 bullets. L-Una and I proudly strode out of the arena, eager for the high-quality rations.

"Okay, remind me again, _how_ did we end up here?"

"Um, after we came out, the commander yelled at us for ruining a perfectly good arena, and you explained that you were just following orders, which he called backtalk, and then he punished us for backtalking."

"Ah. But still, _this_ is the punishment for backtalk?"

"Yeah. But he did say if we could escape before the furnace reached the phase where the plasma would be ejected up, we would get dinner."

L-Una and I were currently hanging by our legs, which were tied to a durasteel rope. I could feel my face getting golden brown. When I twisted to see L-Una, his face was turning black. Naturally, in roughly five and a half minutes, the arc furnace below us would eject low-grade plasma out. The plasma in question would hit us, and then turn us into puffs of hydrogen. I racked my brain for a plan.

"We have 276 seconds left," warned L-Una.

"I know," I snapped. I had one plan, but it would require the use of my skills, which I did not wish to show to my new friends.

"123 seconds," L-Una moaned. Still, I didn't want to try my plan.

"84 seconds. Hey. D'you have any last words?" he asked.

That tore it. I concentrated, and my arm retracted. L-Una gasped. "By the Light of Aether- you wield the Hunter's weapon?"

"Apparently," I retorted. I aimed my arm at the rope. A familiar red beam burst out and struck the rope, melting it. My arm returned, and L-Una asked," What happens now that we are plummeting into the furnace?"

I admitted, "I really thought that the furnace would incinerate us before now."

"WHAT?" he shrieked.

"Don't sweat it," I advised him. "I have another plan." The rope finally snapped. We tumbled downwards. "AAAUUUGH!" screamed L-Una. I ignored him and stretched out my hand. I grabbed the lip of the furnace with one arm and grabbed L-Una with the other. He had time to say,"7 seconds" before passing out. I swung him out, then grabbed the furnace rim with both hands. I yanked myself over and tumbled onto the catwalk with him just as the furnace reached its final phase. We lay there in shock. I sat up. L-Una stirred beside me. I slapped him in the face, bringing him back. "By the Light of Aether, that was close! Let's never do that again," he gasped.

I yanked him to his feet. "Come on. I think its almost dinner."

**Well, that was interesting. Sam is now in military school. On his first day, he killed twelve Warp Hounds, made friends with a Luminoth, Phrygisian and Jovian, and then narrowly escaped death by nuclear fusion. I think it's safe to say that Sam is going to have a great year at school!**

**I am always accepting OCs, you know. In your reviews, give me descriptions. And don't forget to just plain review. No flaming or trolling, please.**


	7. Battle Royale

"Wake up, Sam!" I heard a voice.

"Meh," I grunted, turning over.

WHAM! A large, heavy object slammed into me, knocking me out of the bunk. I lay there, too tired to get up and retaliate. "Wake up, Sam, damnit!"

"Ugghh," I moaned, turning over. Finally, Callisto went, hoisted me up, and slapped me across the face multiple times. "Ow, ow, ow! OK, OK, OK, I'm up! God!" I grunted. Callisto giggled and went off somewhere. I sat up and looked at the object that had struck me. It was one of L-Una's things, some kind of crystal. I glared at L-Una. He shrugged. Annoyed, I went to change. Then I realized something. "Hey! It's almost eleven. We're usually up by 4:30. What's going on?"

"Some kind of human holiday tradition called, um, 'Christmas', I think. I read about it in a book on your cultures. Humans give and receive gifts. Younger children believe that these gifts are from a four-hundred year old spirit named Saint Nicholas. Anyway, we aren't getting presents, but there was an announcement that there would be a surprise at noon. So wash up and get ready." I followed his advice, and stepped out fresh. Then at noon, the intercom came on: "Attention, recruits. There are now five days left until some of you become soldiers."

"Wait," said L-Una. "Some?"

"The rest of you will be dead. And that's the purpose of this message. Some of you may have realized that you cannot open the doors of the bunkrooms you are located in. That is because we are setting up the base for a deathmatch. Before the five days are up, there can only be 100 recruits alive in this base, or every recruit is going to be poisoned. This is how we weed out the strongest for our special program. If you survive, you will learn more. Have a nice day, recruits!"

"What the fuck is going on?" I screeched. "He wants us to kill each other?"

L-Una said, "I do not wish to kill. I will not kill you, but I will defend myself."

"That sounds like a good idea," I replied. "Now, let's figure out how to stay alive. Everyone in this base will be gunning for each other, and I have a feeling that the humans are going first."

The door slid open, and a Vhozon burst into the room. He loosed a yell, then dashed at me. I ducked under his swing and grabbed him by the head. His angry expression changed to fear as our eyes met. That was the last expression he would ever show, as I snapped his neck. His body sagged, and I let it drop to the floor. L-Una took on an ivy pallor. "I think I will be ill," he said.

I was breathing heavily. "Okay, so it's not a bad joke. Great. Come on. We could be killed from any side in this room. Maybe we should find an armory."

We peeked out into the hall. It didn't look like anyone was there. We slowly prowled the halls. Twice we flattened ourselves to avoid homicidal Alies. Thankfully, we found an armory without any encounters. We stepped in. I shoved a rack of weapons in front of the door. "That should hold for awhile."

L-Una was gathering weapons and putting them in piles. "In case anyone breaks in," he said. There were grenades, Freeze Guns, and plasma and assault rifles. There were even a couple of artillery belts. I put one on and slung some rifles on it. L-Una did the same, but with Freeze Guns and grenades. We grabbed as many weapons as we could, then L-Una pushed aside the rack. Before we opened the door, he threw a grenade at the remaining weapons. "What the hell are you doing?" I hissed.

"Do you want anyone else to grab these weapons?" he hissed back.

"Good point." We left the room and ran, listening to muffled explosions from the armory. As we turned a corner, we stepped into a firefight. Humans, Alies, Phrygisians, Jovians, and Luminoth were engaged in a massive free-for-all. They noticed us and saw our weapons. With a massive roar, they swarmed towards us. "Grenade!" I whispered. L-Una looked sick, but he did as I said. The attackers stopped when they saw the little object, then as recognition dawned, they frantically backpedaled. Too late for most though, as the plasma grenade vaporized most of them. Only a few survivors, mainly Phrygisians and Jovians, were left. They scattered. "What just happened?" I asked in disbelief.

L-Una turned away. I heard a retching sound, and then he turned to face me. "I don't- I don't ever want to have to do that again."

"I know what you mean. But we might have to do it again, or we'll be next."

Just then, the intercom came on. "Great work, cadets! Out of the 500 cadets this morning, only 413 are left. The current Recruits of the Day are the Luminoth L-Una and the Human Sam, with 35 kills each. Keep it up, you two!"

"This is like a damned game show!" I muttered. L-Una whispered something. Then he turned to me. " Now everyone in this base is gunning for _us_," he realized. I nodded. Then a human leaped out from an adjacent room. He aimed his rifle at us. We could only stand there. He took aim… and a shot rang out. The human looked down with a confused expression on his face. There was a ragged hole in his chest. He dropped like a bag of rocks. Callisto and Crytik appeared behind him, each clutching a plasma rifle. "Sam. L-Una, it's good to see you," said Crytik.

"HI guys! You're really the Recruits of the Day? Wow! What do you think this carnage is all about? And what program is the guy on the intercom talking about? Maybe we should team up to survive!" bubbled Callisto.

"Callisto, that last sentence was the first sensible thing you've ever said," replied Crytik. I nodded my head. "Okay guys, here's the game plan. Crytik and Callisto, cover the left and rear. L-Una, cover the right. I'll take point." My friends nodded, impressed by my newfound tactical skills. I tossed a second rifle to Callisto and Crytik. "Dual-wield," I commanded. They caught the guns and followed my commands. We advanced through the halls. We encountered several others, who tried to kill us. Luckily, we managed to slay most of our opponents unharmed. But then one Vhozon clipped L-Una in the shoulder with a plasma burst. He cried out in pain. We all saw the gaping hole, and knew he needed medical attention. "Callisto! Is there a medical bay nearby?"

She answered, "Yeah. Turn right here, go straight about five intersections, and then turn left."

We followed her orders, killing everyone in our way. L-Una was already green, now he was turning pale as he watched the carnage ensue. Then the intercom came on. "Good evening cadets! Since we last spoke, there were 413 cadets remaining. Now there are only 298. Great work! The Human Sam and the Luminoth L-Una are still the Recruits of the Day. But two Recruits of the Day have joined them! The Phrigisian Crytik and the Jovian Callisto! Each one has 20 kills! Great work! Now, you will all be gassed tonight. When you wake up, you will all be in perfect health. Also, the Recruits of the Day will wake up early with extra weapons! See you tomorrow!"

"Oh great. Now our life expectancies just dropped by maybe, oh, sixty years!" fumed Callisto. "Guys, calm down!" Let's try and make it to the medical bay before the gas comes on!" But even as I said it, I swore I could hear a hissing sound.


	8. Insanity is a Funny Thing, Isn't It?

"_Uugh… my head. That must've been a bad dream," _ I thought. Then I turned. L-Una, Callisto, and Crytik were passed out on the floor. Our weapons were lying there next to them. Just to drive home the point, the intercom came on. "Good morning! It is now Day 2 of 5. The Recruits of the Day have had their weapons augmented. How, they will have to find out. But a hint just in case: Look for the new button. See you in six hours! And remember, if there is more than 100 people alive by Day 5, you will all be put to sleep… permanently. Have a good day!" L-Una, Crytik, and Callisto woke up, like they had been switched on. They took in the scene and said as one, "So it wasn't a dream. Great."

I was a little weirded out by that, but kept quiet. We got to our feet and picked up our weapons. Then I noticed L-Una's arm. "Your arm! It's unharmed!" He looked at it and said, "So it is."

""DIE!" A human girl brandishing a massive knife ran madly at me. Callisto reflexively shot her. Her momentum carried her a few feet before the girl dropped dead. "Great. The carnage has begun again," muttered L-Una. Callisto grabbed the knife. We began to move through the halls again. As we moved, I sensed movement in the vents. I whispered to the others, "The vents." They eyed the ceiling as if they expected something to pop out, which we did. We kept moving, all the while aware of the movement. The intercom came on. "Hello again! It's been six hours, so here's a new surprise! As you may have heard, there is something in the vents. Just for kicks, we decided to add some of our biological weapons into the vents! Random, it may be. But since we need only the best, we're adding it in. In about five seconds, the vents will burst open and the bioweapons will stalk the halls. In three… two…one…"

CLINGLINGLING! We froze. Something was prowling these halls. We heard skittering and strange rasps. Then we heard someone. "WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE-AAAUUUGGGH!" We would have gladly run, but the only way forward was through the area of the scream. We slowly advanced, making sure our guns were reloaded. As we turned the corner, we came upon a sight that made L-Una puke. A dead person lay there, his face ripped open and his organs lying there, still beating in their death throes. "Not even the Ing did such horrific damage," whispered L-Una. I vaguely wondered who the Ing were, but put it aside. Then we heard a skittering sound from behind. We spun around, aiming our guns at the thing. It was a little rabbit-like creature. It seemed impossible, but as it stumbled towards us, it made the same skittering sound and rasping breath. Callisto cooed to it. "Aww, it's so adorable!" Then it lunged. It opened its little beak and tried to take a chunk out of her, but she sliced it open with one fell swoop with the knife. Both halves dropped to the ground. I looked it over. "Wow. _This_ is the bioweapon? It's a freaking rabbit!"

"A what?" asked L-Una.

" A rabbit. It's an Earth mammal. It has long ears, white fur, a pink nose, and huge feet. It's pretty much the epitome of cuteness."

"Oh." He still sounded mystified.

Crytik pointed out, "Well, that thing's twin killed this fellow. So I think it's safe to say that we should-Behind you!"

I twisted around and felt a prick on my ankle. I looked down to see that one of the creatures had bitten my foot. "Ow! Ow! Oh geez! Ow!" It kept biting and would probably take off the foot if I didn't do something. My friends couldn't attack for fear of taking off my foot with the beast. I shook my foot in vain, while slowly starting to lose feeling in the foot. I paled. Loss of feeling? Either I wasn't getting circulation… or the thing had just gnawed through one of my nerves. Literally. I snatched it up and began to punch it. My fists rained down on it as it squealed and tried to defend itself. I slowed down, and realized that the I had beaten the beast to death. It was a mass of blood and bruises. I threw it aside. "Come on, guys. Let's keep moving." I set my foot down and suddenly collapsed. I got up and took another step, again falling on my face. I looked down to see something. Or rather, not something. I was staring at the stump of my right foot. I opened my mouth, and a scream came out. "AAAUUUGH!" My friends gasped in harmony when they noticed it. I was struggling to keep from going over the deep end, while hyperventilating. (Seriously, if you realized that a freaking bunny had just bitten off your foot, you would go crazy too!) Trying to disguise my fear, I announced, "Okay, guys. Let's find a medical bay and treat the foot." I leaned on L-Una's shoulder for support as we searched for a medical bay. I was getting crazier and crazier from blood loss. I heard Crytik say something unintelligible and giggled like a fool. We plodded along. Then I noticed my foot was back! "Look, guys! My foot's back!"

L-Una murmured something to the others. I ignored them and began to walk again, tripping. I looked at my feet and saw the same corpse I had killed. I shouted, "Look! It's the same one I killed! We're going in circles!" Callisto and Crytik looked concerned. Callisto told me, "Look. The medic bay is right there."

"Well good. We need somewhere to get supplies in case someone gets hurt." We stepped in. Nobody was there. I yawned. "Man, I feel tired! Which is weird, 'cause I should be full of adrenaline right now. Oh hey, I had adrenaline when I fought that chick in armor, wait who was it, oh right, Samus Aran! Wonder why she's so famous? Well, so are the Pirates. Hey, they experimented on me. I got cool powers and stuff, too. Y'know, we could really use stuff right now!" I had a vague feeling that something wasn't right here, but I shrugged it off. Callisto said, "Sure. Look, there's a nice bed over there. Take a nap." I shrugged and stumbled over, tripping a few times on bodies, but I got to the bed. I lay down and sleep overtook me instantly.


	9. Ending the Madness With a Bang!

My dreams were filled with worms, each going through metamorphoses until they burst into moths. Then my dream shifted. I was standing near a puddle of blue ooze. The ooze drew me towards it, and then, just as I was close enough to touch it, it suddenly burst up and engulfed me.

I opened my eyes suddenly, taking a moment to remember where I was and what the heck was going on. I saw L-Una gazing at me concernedly. When he saw me awake, he flashed a smile. He called out, "Guys! He's up!"

Callisto and Crytik appeared by his sides, smiling down at me. "Hey, Sam! Are you okay? Do you feel good? Need anything? Feel refreshed after that two-day nap? And how's the metal foot holding up?" exclaimed Callisto.

"Wait. What metal foot?" A gleaming prosthetic was eyeing me when I pulled off the blankets.

L-Una began to explain everything that had transpired while I was out of it. "After that thing bit off your foot, you started acting rather… abnormal. You kept babbling about random things and then hallucinating. We worried that it was because of blood loss, and it was. We bandaged the wound immediately, but we couldn't save the foot. So we had to replace it."

One other part of Callisto's rant was coming back to me. "And what did Callisto mean when she said 'two day nap'?"

"You lost so much blood that we had to keep you sedated so that the medi-bots could synthesize enough blood to replace it."

"Wait. So does this mean that there's one day left until we die?"

"Um, yes."

Much to their surprise and concern, I swung up and out of the bed. L-Una tried to shove me back onto the bed, saying," Sam, you just recovered from poison! You should rest!" But I couldn't rest. An idea that should have taken root at the start of this mayhem burst forth. "We should try to get off the base!" Taken aback, they stared. I quickly seized the initiative. "Guys, think. Why should we try to survive in the base when we can just commandeer a shuttle and get off this planet?"

"Huh. Y'know, that never occurred to me," bubbled Callisto, who had just appeared from nowhere, startling me.

L-Una and Crytik started nodding their heads, slowly at first, then more rapidly, like they were only now just warming up to it. "Okay. It's decided," I said. I took a step, wobbling. L-Una said, "You just got a new foot. You need to adjust to it."

"We have no time! You said it yourself, there's only one day left 'til doomsday."

He nodded.

"Exactly! Tomorrow, this place is going up in fumes. And do we really want to be around when that happens? So, let's find a docking bay and get off this godforsaken rock." I kept walking, stumbling but quickly adjusting to the foot. At the door, I picked up the weapons and threw them to my friends. "Come on," I said.

"I have a really bad feeling about this," moaned L-Una and Crytik simultaneously, but Callisto laughed and stepped out the door.

We kept a sharp eye out for any other things that might have been released into the halls. Even though my clanging prosthetic produced enough noise to wake up the dead, nothing lunged at us. Then we heard the sounds.

"HREEEEEIII!"

L-Una blanched. I looked around nervously, while Callisto and Crytik eyed each other. We weren't attacked, so we continued our search. We found nothing, until Callisto saw a digimap on the wall. "Hey, guys. According to this, the docking bay is just around the corner!" Crytik peeked around the corner, then whipped his head back and began hyperventilating. L-Una, upon doing the same, turned a flour-white. Even Callisto, upon seeing whatever was there, started to morph uncontrollably. I peeked around the corner and nearly screamed. A huge feathered lizard was resting in front of the doors to the docking bay. It was a massive, purple, scaly beast. Fur and feathers emerged from its spine. Its talons were razor sharp. On its shoulder blades were massive spikes, and its tail looked sharp enough to eviscerate a Reptilicus in one swoop. But worst of all was the face. The monster's eyes were blood red, and it was slavering. The tongue drooped out. This beast enjoyed killing. None of us wished to fight that monstrosity, but it was the only way to get to the docking bay. "Um, okay. What do we do to kill that thing?" I squeaked.

L-Una murmured, "Maybe we could trick it into stabbing itself."

"Maybe we should aim at the mouth," offered Crytik.

"Let's feed it our weapons, and then a grenade!" exclaimed Callisto.

"SHHHH!" I whispered. "You don't want t-"

KRREEEEE!

I peeked around the corner to see the monster rising up. It locked eyes with me. "GAAH!" I shrieked. "It's awake, it's seen us- and I think it's hungry!"

We backpedaled as quickly as possible, keeping our weapons trained on the corner. The monster came at us with surprising speed. We fired at it, but our weapons only ricocheted off. By a lucky stroke, Callisto's shot nailed it in the mouth. KREEEEE! it screamed in agony. "Hit the mouth!" she called.

We proceeded to aim our shots at the mouth, damaging it more and more. But we were running out of ammo. I racked my head for an idea, and then it came to me: _"Let's feed it our weapons, and then a grenade!"_

"Guys! Throw your weapons at it!" I heaved my plasma rifle into the creature's path. "Are you mental?" shrieked Callisto. I ignored her and threw the rest of my weapons at the beast. It swallowed them up and gained speed. "L-Una! Throw a grenade!" Thinking that might slow it down, he hurled the bomb at the beast. Without missing a beat, the bomb was sucked into the monster's gullet. It gave off a weird sound, like a grunt: KGKROU-KGKRAU!

VLABADABADABADABADABOOM! The creature literally exploded. Chunks of fur, scales, plastic, and flesh sailed through the air. We gazed at the carnage. Callisto cheered. "Yay!" L-Una came up to me and said, "Sam, why did you feed the beast your weapons?"

"Yeah. Why did you?" asked Crytik and Callisto simultaneously.

"It was your idea," I replied to Callisto. "Now come on, guys, we have a ship to catch!"

We rounded the corner, being careful to avoid the chunks of lizard strewn about. We stopped in front of the bay doors, which were keypad-locked. Crytik shot a sliver of ice into the keypad, ruining it and opening the doors. We stepped through.

"This is not a docking bay." I declared, looking around. We were standing in what was obviously a control center, with monitors and desktops lining the walls. In the center of the room was a tank filled with a glowing azure liquid, looking suspiciously like that in my dream. What garnered our attention though, was the scientist on the far end of the room. He glared at us. Crytik strode over to him, declaring, "Tell us who you are and how we can leave this base, or the next thing leaving the room is your life."

"Fine. I'm the scientist in charge of this operation, Armando N. Ronius. I run the Bioweapon section."

"So, why are you in a military base? And what operation?" questioned Crytik  
>"You still haven't figured it out? God! All of <em>you<em> are the bioweapons!"

"Keep talking!" pressed Crytik.

The scientist's demeanor went from condescending to fear-filled. "I can't, I've said too much… AAAGGH! I've said too much!" He shoved aside Crytik's ice saber, then dashed towards the tank in the center of the room. He stopped briefly to slam a button, and then he moved to the tank and threw himself in. We ran towards the tank to watch the scientist, upon contacting the stuff in the tank, turn blue and melt into a pile of goo. We gaped. "What the heck was that?" I muttered. L-Una turned the same shade as the goo in the tank.

"Um, guys," called Callisto, "is it a problem if this button is beeping?"

We dashed over to the terminal. I scanned it for the cause. A button labeled "SELF-DESTRUCT" was flashing. "Oh, come _on_! This is like a freaking spy movie!" I fumed. Just to mock me, an automated voice came on: "Hello. If you are listening to this, then the self-destruct has been activated. There is no way to deactivate it. The self-destruct will go off in thirty minutes, to allow for immediate evacuation. Due to security reasons, we cannot provide you a map to the nearest docking bay. There are now twenty-nine minutes and forty-three seconds left as of _now_. Have a nice day."

"Oh come on!" I shouted. "We were kidnapped by politicians, used as weapons, forced to kill each other, I lost my foot, we had to fight a giant freaking salamander, and now THIS? What, does the universe hate us or something?" Even as I said it, I had a weird feeling that somewhere, some random dude with a random name on a random day was laughing uncontrollably at this. To compound things, the doors out of the room slammed shut, locked in place. "WHAT THE HECK!" I screamed. L-Una turned several shades of green. Crytik looked pale. Callisto was hyperventilating. Then she stopped. "Oh look. Hey, Sam, Crytik, L-Una, do any of you know what a teleporter does?"

We stared at her and dashed towards her. "Where does it say 'Teleporter'?" I gasped.

"Here," she said, pointing at a sign little cubicle in the corner that had, up to now, escaped our attention. "Right between the words "THIS, IS, OUT, OF, and ORDER."

"Well, how do we get it back _in_ order?" I nearly shrieked. Crytik bent down. "I think I can get it working again," he said. "Just give me, say, thirty minutes?"

"You have twenty-five," L-Una informed him.

Crytik worked quickly. We waited. Finally, he stood up. "Okay, it works. The problem is that I didn't have enough time to calibrate it. So, when you step in, you'll be sent to some random location."

"Well, it's better than here!" I told him. He pressed a few buttons on the cubicle, and it sparked to life. Callisto stepped in first. "I hope I'll see you guys later!" she called before she vanished. L-Una went next. "Good-bye Sam. I hope to see you again someday."

"You too, L-Una. See you on the flipside," I told him. I was up next. Just before I went, I asked Crytik, "Where did you learn how to fix this?"

He said, "Actually, I was wingi-" I was gone before I heard the rest of his sentence. The next thing I knew, I was standing on a cliffside surrounded by more angry lizards.

**And that's where we'll leave Sam for now. Next time: A bounty hunter in a Varia Suit appears, but it isn't Samus Aran! **

**Don't forget to read and review, but NO TROLLING! I am always accepting OCs**

**Cardopternicole: You can send as many OCs as you want. Just make sure they have lots of varieties.**


	10. Metroid: Other L

I felt slightly disoriented, but I focused on the bigger problem at hand: a bunch of Reptilicus, wielding boomerangs of doom, glaring at me. Also, the fact that the teleporter had deposited me onto a brittle ledge overlooking some ruins. A Reptilicus threw his boomerang at me. I plucked it from the air, and threw it back at the startled Reptilicus. He caught it and tossed it back in a fancy fashion, with loops and stuff. I leaped up high and snagged it. I twisted my wrist slightly to give it some twists and turns before releasing it. The watching Reptilicus crept backwards as I continued the Frisbee-boomerang match. I heard someone with a thick Kerillian accent yell, "_Duke Carsia!" _ I ignored it, concentrating on the unofficial Frisbee of Doom game. Finally, I grabbed the boomerang and jerked my wrist before throwing, causing it to rotate like a gyroscope. The spinning boomerang startled the Reptilicus, striking and knocking him backwards. He collided with the wall, slumping. With some effort, he got to his feet. I stared at him. He bent downwards, and after a few seconds, straightened up and walked away. I watched him go, through some doors back into the ruins. Behind me, I sensed a presence. I dove to the floor as a projectile whistled over my head. I got up and turned around to see Samus Aran staring at me in her suit. But there was something odd about it. The suit was silver and black, with splotches of green. I realized that this wasn't Samus Aran. The figure confirmed it by shooting a purple burst at me. I was too slow to dodge it, and the burst electrocuted me. I staggered, but shook it off. Knowing that whoever this was wanted me dead, I had no qualms about displaying my own abilities to kill them. I focused. My vision went into Combat Visor mode and my arm retracted. I detected a slight defect in the figure's boots, so I aimed there. A red burst shot out of my arm, striking my foe's boot. It began to steam. The enemy retaliated with another green burst, which I easily dodged. I began to size up the situation, while dodging bursts. I soon realized that I was more agile than my opponent. That, coupled with another of my abilities, gave me an idea. I ran towards my foe, getting hit a few times but recovering quickly. Before the enemy could react, I leaped onto their shoulder and planted my hand on their back. My tendrils shot into the armor, which sparked before dissolving. I hopped off, and watched the suit fizzle out of existence. I was staring at a buff guy, lightly tanned, at least 2.5 meters tall, with jet black hair and chocolate-colored eyes, inside a black bodysuit that looked slightly like mine, except for the green symbols on his. A massive scar ran down his face, with a smaller one on his temple. Without a word, the stranger yanked a couple of weapons from his back. I eyed them carefully. They were unlike anything I had ever seen. He aimed them at me. Like a viper, I snatched one of them from his grip and hopped back several meters. He seemed surprised that I had stolen his weapons. I quickly pointed the weapon at him while studying it at the same time. The weapon was pretty nondescript. It was a T-shaped mass of metal, with a hole on one end and a little 'thing' on top. There was a hole for the index finger, and a trigger to pull. I aimed the barrel end at my foe and squeezed the trigger. CRACK! The stranger jerked slightly as a hole appeared in his bodysuit. He pulled out a little stone and held it against the wound, which quickly sealed up.

KROOAAR! A loud sound emanated from deep in the ruins. We both turned to see a titanic Alpha Hopper bound at us. Behind it were dying Reptilicus. I looked at the stranger, and then at the Alpha Hopper. The Hopper was clearly the bigger threat, so I threw him his weapon back and yelled, "Aim at the Hopper's legs!" He didn't look happy, but he complied. I bounded towards the beast while my new colleague distracted it. I quickly reached the Hopper's legs and scaled it easily. Now I was perched on the beast's back. I clambered up onto the beast's head. I focused, revealing my arm weapons, and then shot at the beast's skull, to no effect. I quickly tried to think of a plan, and then I did. Granted, it was a disgusting plan, and might kill me, but it was better than nothing. I crawled along the beast until I found a pore. Then I crawled in. It was disgusting, a pink, throbbing hell. Liquid flowed through it, soaking my jumpsuit. I kept going, until I entered a large chamber. In the center was a massive stalk, perched on which was clearly the creature's brain. I focused on the stalk, and my missiles struck it with deadly accuracy. The stalk basically imploded, causing the brain to fall and go splat. I felt a massive tremor, and then a crash. Shaken, I crawled out through the pore of the beast. I emerged to see my foe stretching out a hand. I grabbed it and got up. We eyed each other, then both cracked smiles. I guess defeating a twenty-meter high Alpha Hopper makes that happen. He said, "Kid, you are something special."

"You weren't so bad yourself."

His tone became serious. "No, really. No teenager could survive that Wave Beam blast, much less shake it off. And when was the last time _any_ kid could fire missiles and a Plasma Beam out of his arm?"

"So that's what it's called? Why the hell did you shoot me?"

"Because the way the Reptilicus told me, I thought that a squad of Pirates had arrived. And when it comes to Pirates, I prefer to shoot first, ask questions later."

I tried to press him about the weapons on his back, but he kept mum. "Well, if you won't tell me about those things, then let me ask you: how did you get a copy of Samus Aran's armor? I met that chick, and she doesn't seem the friendly type."

"She? Samus isn't a girl." He tried to sound incredulous.

"Oh please. You aren't fooling anyone," I snapped. "So tell me, how did you happen to come across the suit?"

"It's called a Varia Suit, and how I got it is classified. So let me ask you something: how did you appear out of nowhere, catch a Reptilicus chakram, fire a Plasma Beam, and deactivate my suit? Also, how in the galaxy do you know that Samus is a girl? And where did you meet her?"

"That's six somethings, and I can answer one: I met Samus on the Pirate Homeworld. Anyway, how do you know what the Reptilicus boomerang thingy is called?"

"I'm a good friend of theirs. But how did you end up on the Pirate Homeworld… Wait. Do you know anything about the Experiment 505?"

"No." I wasn't really sure that I could trust this guy. We might be talking like friends, but just an hour ago we had been trying to kill each other.

"Well, rumor has it that the Pirates managed to successfully reverse-engineer the Varia Suit. What's more, they managed to do it on a living thing. Supposedly, they managed to modify its DNA, so that among other things, it had the genes of Reptilicus, Zebesians, even Chozo, among other things. There's even a rumor that they might have injected it with Metroid DNA. Anyway, with the new genes, the experiment subject was able to actually fuse the Varia Suit within itself. It's a living superweapon."

"Wild. You know, I haven't actually heard your name. What is it?"

"Luke. Luke Cardassia. And what's yours, kid?"  
>"Sam."<p>

"Just Sam?"

"Yep."

" Okay then."

"Hey, can I hitch a ride on your ship?"

He seemed surprised by the randomness of that question, and so did I. But I had the weirdest feeling that I should be on some other planet right now. "All right," he said.

I sat in the copilot's seat as Luke took the controls. We lifted off, and once we were in space, Luke asked me, "Where to?"

"Um, SR388." I had no idea what SR388 was or why I wanted to go there, but it was like something was drawing me there.

"Are you sure about that?"

"I'm sure."

And so we went off to SR388. What I would do when I got there, I didn't know.

**I had permission to use Luke Cardassia (Thanks, Ceu Praca). So don't worry.**

**Why does Sam want to go to SR388, when he doesn't even know what it is? Next time: What is drawing Sam to the planet? And why does he keep running into Samus Aran?**

**Read and review, folks. And no flames or trolls.**

**Ceu Praca: I am setting the stage for something. What it is, I can't tell you.**

**Kane: Well, I see where you're going, but remember, this is being told entirely from Sam's point of view, kind of like Half-Life. And he's a teenager, so he doesn't exactly stop to see the roses, now does he? **

**I hope that the Little Birdies and the juvenile Ridley were enough to quench your thirst for now.**


	11. Alien VS Predator

Currently, I'm pinned to a wall with an Arm Cannon aimed at my face. You probably want to know why. Well, I'll flashback for now. Where did I leave off last time? Oh yeah, that guy Luke Cardassia was taking me to SR388. I still wonder how I convinced him, and more importantly, why I want to go there. Anyway, back to my story:

Luke and I didn't talk too much on the way to the planet. He tried to get me to answer his previous questions, while I tried to ask him about his Varia Suit.

Then I asked him why he kept firing at me back on Bryyo, even when he had seen that I was just a human. Turns out the Pirates had disguising technology, so he thought I was a Pirate in disguise, which really miffed me. We stopped talking, so I began thinking about Experiment 505. The ultimate superweapon, huh? Also, what was a Metroid, and what was so awesome about it? "Hey. What's a Metroid?"

"You never heard of it? Man, you're like Jeff. Well, a Metroid is this." He showed me a video of this little gelatinous bowl thing with three little red eyes in it and three fangs. It kept on squealing as it tried to eat everything from a metal spoon to a diaper. "Looks cute. What's so deadly 'bout it?" I asked.

He played another clip, where the Metroid began to change, growing into several bigger and more well-armored forms, Then, he played yet another clip. In it, the Metroid latched onto a Bull Hopper with its fangs. The Hopper began to shrivel up, bellowing in pain, while the Metroid got bigger, and bigger. Finally, the shriveled husk that was once a Hopper collapsed like a house of holocards, and above it hovered a very large bowl of living gelatin. "Wow. What was that?" I asked.

"The Metroids suck the life out of anything they latch onto. They're also incredibly versatile. Basically, their only weakness is cold. And there are rumors floating around that cold-resistant Metroids were engineered a couple of centuries ago. The Metroids also reproduce exponentially when exposed to beta rays for a full 24-hour cycle. Basically, they are the almost-ultimate weapons. Oh, hey, it's SR388." I looked out to see a jungle world with a massive crater in its North Pole. "Huh," said Luke. "Wonder what that hole is." We came down and landed in a smaller crater. "Well, this is where I'll have to leave you. The atmosphere seems to be breathable for humans, so good luck. By the way, I think Samus is on this planet. She can give you a lift off, and if you see her, tell her I said hi."

I stood in the crater, watching the _Freedom's Call_ (as shown on the hull) fly out through the dense clouds. On my back was a small pack of rations that Luke had given me. I began to think about the Metroids. If I had some of their DNA, did that mean I was resistant to anything but cold, apt to grow into several hulking beasts, able to suck the life out of anything, and coolest of all, able to clone myself with a UV lamp? I hoped that, except for the whole transformation thing, those powers were mine too. I put those thoughts aside and began to look around. On the surface, there was much less plant life than it looked. The planet was basically a maroon wasteland. I gazed at the landscape, and then I began to scale the crater. It was pretty difficult, but I was almost at the top when I slipped, and rolled back down the slope. I kept rolling for longer than I should have, and then I collided with a rock. I sat up, groaning, then looked around. I was in a tunnel network, leading off. Many strange plants and animals prowled around. Just to be safe, I summoned my arm weapon, and then I set off down the tunnel. I explored the winding pathways for hours, encountering lots of weird flora and fauna. Finally, I stumbled across a door. I shot it, and it opened. On the other side was, who else, Samus Aran. We stared at each other. "Hi," I said. Samus responded by trying to kill me. She shot purple bursts at me. I dodged them, yelling, "Hey! Ease up, darn it! I'm on your side- I think!" She ignored me and proceeded trying to obliterate me. I quickly sprang up onto her back and released my tendrils. The suit fell apart leaving not a ticked-off woman but a floating germ. It sped at me with blinding speed, and before I could react, it was absorbed into my chest. With nothing else to do, I waited to see if I would get sick. Nothing happened. Quite to the contrary, I felt energized, like I had just taken some stimulants. I walked through the door a bit faster. I kept up this pace for a while, before I began to feel tired. Since I didn't know the time, I figured I might as well sleep. So I lay down, using the ration pack as a pillow. Curling up for warmth, I fell asleep immediately.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that I was suspended in mid-air. The second thing I realized was that my body was missing. I decided that this must be a dream. If I knew it was a dream, then did that mean I could control the dream? It was certainly an out-of-body experience, to be sure. I floated around-was I floating at all? -to see if I could locate my body. I wondered if I could move my body. I tried to move. Instead, a little ball the color of my jumpsuit that was right in front of me wobbled. I eyed it for a few moments-did I even have eyes?- then tried to move again. The ball rolled again. I tried moving again, to be rewarded by the moving ball. A crazy idea came to mind: was _I_ the ball over there? It seemed insane, but it fit, seeing as this was a dream. I decided to test my theory by trying to walk around the room. I moved forward, and so did the ball. I moved left, and so did the ball. It copied my every motion. This clinched it. I was that little ball. What a wild dream! I thought it would be cool if I blew something up, so I attempted to drop a bomb. A pancake-shaped orb appeared. In a violent flash of light, it detonated, obliterating the entire cavern. This was so cool! I rolled around some more. I tried to jump, and the ball hopped up in the air. I rolled through the caverns, detonating bombs at anything that moved. This was definitely an awesome dream. As I rolled through more tunnels, I heard a _thow thow thow_ sound. Curious, I rolled towards the sound. When I found its source, who would it be but Samus Aran. Figures that my subconscious would throw at me the least social person in the universe. She was fighting a little red blob. I watched the spectacle quietly, viewing her as she shot at the pulsing thing floating around. It absorbed the shots without a sound. The blob floated near me, drawing Samus's eye. To avoid her shots, the blob flew at me. When it touched me, it disappeared. Naturally, Samus began to shoot at me. I figured I would wake up as soon as it touched me, but when it hit me, I didn't wake up. I just throbbed. This kept going for a few minutes. Finally, I realized that it wasn't a dream. But that meant- I was really this little ball! I rolled around frantically, trying to figure out how to get back to normal and convince her that I shouldn't be shot at. As I rolled away, she easily kept pace with me. I wished that I could go faster. As I thought that, I saw my ball-self glow before suddenly losing the glow and speeding up dramatically. I gained ground, but before I knew it, I was at a dead end. Samus pelted me with shots. I wished that I was a person again. I blinked, and suddenly I was back in my own body. Samus stopped shooting. "What the- you again? How did you do that? How the hell did you even get here? Goddammit, I need to scan you to see if you're all right. Stand still," she barked. I waited for her to stop her rant, then stood quietly as she scanned me. The scan took quite a while. Finally, it was done. Samus said, "Listen up. I want to know what you were _really_ doing on the Pirate Homeworld. Or the next shot is between the eyes."

"What's it to you?" I muttered.

"_Talk._ Now." She pointed her gun at me. Faced with the situation, I began to tell my tale. I recited it from waking up in the vat to getting here. Once I was done, she said, "You need to come with me."

We walked in silence for hours. "Got anything to eat?" I asked.

"No. Shut up," came the reply. Just then, we came across a funny little crab thing. When it saw us, it leaped at me. I held up my hand in defense. The crab struck it, then it began to shrivel. We both stared in horrified fascination as the crab, stuck to my palm, began to shrivel up like a prune. Finally, the husk of the crab dropped with a _thump_.

"What in the- That was a Metroid skill! You just sucked the life out of that Geemer!" said Samus incredulously.

"That… tasted great!" I exclaimed. "Are there any more around here?"

"NO! Move faster!" she practically screeched. We moved a little quicker through the tunnels. Then, as we turned a corner, we saw Samus Aran blowing up more Geemers. "Hang on. If you're here, who's that?" I asked.

"The SA-X! I knew they hadn't died! Move aside, kid!" commanded Samus. I held my ground. " I can handle myself," I told her. The SA-X interrupted our conversation, lunging in, kicking Samus through a wall, and pinning me to another. It raised its arm cannon…

I'm a great multitasker. You're probably wondering why I just dropped a cliffhanger on you and then interrupted the story. Well, since I'm a great multitasker, I managed to flashback up to this point while at the same time figuring out how to get out of this situation alive and kicking. And so here's what's happening:

I flailed around, trying to get free of its grip. No dice. It held me firmly, probably wondering what the most gruesome way to kill me was. Then, I kicked it in the shins, distracting it for a split-second. That split-second was all I needed, and I slammed my hand onto its arm. The SA-X began to shimmer, screeching in an unearthly voice. I felt stronger, and kind of disturbingly, fuller. Eventually, the doppelgänger vanished entirely. I waited for Samus to come back. Finally, she stepped through the wreckage and looked around. The first thing she said was, "Where's the SA-X?"

"What, no 'Are you okay?' or anything?" I complained. "If you must know, I ate it." She glared at me, thinking I was joking, before she realized I was serious. "We need to get you to the Federation, now." She grabbed my arm and suddenly burst into a Mach 4 sprint. We zoomed through the caverns, until Samus leaped at the ceiling. At the speed we were going, we utterly destroyed it. We sailed out onto the surface, actually landing right on Samus's ship. She dropped me, and we entered the ship. "Adam, plot a course to the nearest Federation laboratory immediately. And I want to talk to Castor." Samus was issuing orders to that nosy AI, Adam. I waltzed over. "Hi, man. Nice to see you," I said. I could have sworn that the computer was glaring at me. "Or not," I amended.

"Well, well, well. It's you," he said. "You little son of a-"

"Whoa! That was uncalled for! What's with him?" I asked Samus.

"Ignore him. He's been like that ever since he got uploaded into a computer game by some technician." She shivered.

"Um, okay. Where are we going?"

"We're getting you checked on."

"Because?"

"Because, you are one of only two creatures in the galaxy with Metroid and Chozo DNA. Also, you are a testament to the success of the Pirates' attempts to reverse-engineer my suit."

I didn't have anything to say to that, so I kept quiet. As the ship flew to its destination, I could tell that the atmosphere was getting tense.


	12. BSL Redux

"Here we are," said Samus. I looked out. We were inside the docking bay of what was clearly an orbiting laboratory. The two of us stepped out and were instantly greeted by a Kapek, a lime-colored quadruped monkey thing. It looked at us, and called out, "Aran and the experiment are here!" Several scientists entered the docking bay and surrounded us. They stared at me like I was a science project. "Good, Ms. Aran. You've brought the subject."

"I have a name, you know," I huffed.

"And it is…"

"Sam."

"That's a nice name."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Let's get me checked out."

We stepped into a corridor, where several scientists were hurrying past. I was led to a small chamber separated into two halves by a glass pane. The scientists placed me into one side, and they piled into the other. I waited. After what seemed like an eternity, a vent opened up, and a yellow blob like that on SR388 dropped from the vent. We faced each other before the blob hurled itself at me and into my chest. I felt full, and rubbed my tummy. Feeling kind of sleepy, I lay down and fell asleep on the cold floor.

"Wake up!" A scientist shook me back to reality. He pulled me up and said, "Come. Admiral Dane wishes to see you." I followed the scientist out of the room, and into a massive control room. In the back was a holo of some old guy in uniform. "Who's the geezer back there?" I asked the scientist.

"The 'geezer', is Admiral Castor Dane," replied the holo. I curled the corner of my mouth up. "Samus, can't you get this kid under control?"

I heard Samus step out from underneath something. "If I tried, he could de-energize the Power Suit, drain my life energy, then do the same to everyone on this station and leave. Oh, and he could single-handedly launch an assault on Earth and actually succeed."

"Well, there go any plans I had of leashing him. Just because I'm curious, what exactly makes him so powerful?" asked Dane.

"Care to demonstrate?" asked the scientist. I thought about it. "No," I decided. Dane looked disappointed, until one of the scientists stepped up. "Admiral Dane, while he was asleep, we examined him."

"Excuse me? What, is personal space like an unknown concept here?" I grumbled.

"Ignoring that. Admiral Dane, and Ms. Aran, you might want to sit down for this."

"And why should we do that?"

"Don't say I didn't warn you, but… he is producing an unidentified and incredibly potent form of Phazon in his body. In fact, there is a special organ just underneath his heart whose purpose is to produce Phazon."

"Phazon?" exclaimed Samus.

"Hello, I'm right here. And what's Phazon?" I asked.

"About a half-century ago, Aran landed on the planet Tallon IV, where she discovered the Space Pirates experimenting on an unknown substance called Phazon. Phazon was found to have immense mutagenic capabilities. She stopped the Pirates there, but not their experiments. Six months later, she answered a Galactic Federation distress call on the planet Aether, home of the Luminoth, where the Pirates were also experimenting with Phazon. Aran stopped those experiments as well, also defeating her Phazon doppelgänger, Dark Samus. Twelve months later, Dark Samus returned with the entire Pirate armada, where she proceeded to launch offensives with Phazon creatures known as Leviathans on the major planets of the Norion system: Bryyo, Norion, and Elysia. Aran stopped the Pirates on all three planets, destroying the Leviathans there, as well as on the Space Pirate Homeworld. Finally, the Galactic Federation launched an offensive on the source of Phazon, the planet Phaaze, destroying it," explained Dane.

"You said the word 'Phazon' six times in as many seconds. If you destroyed all the Phazon, then why am I producing it?" I snapped.

"Yeah, um, we don't know," answered the sheepish scientist.

"I thought you were supposed to _answer_ questions," I complained. Behind me, I heard someone snort. Dane began to speak again. "Right. Anything else to tell me about the examination?"

"Well, yes," continued the scientist. He opened his mouth when the station rumbled. "What was that?" questioned Dane. "Go check. I want a word with Samus and the kid."

" I have a name, you know."

"No, we don't," replied Samus.

"Well, it's Sam."

"Whatever. Now, Dane, what do you want to talk to us about?"

"All right, listen-"

"AAAUUUGGHHHH!" _KRAKAKOOOOOOOM!_

"What was that?" exclaimed Dane.

"Do I look like I know?" Samus was already charging up her weapon. I followed her into the corridor. Behind us, Dane's holo flickered and shut off. I spared a glance at it before leaving the room.

The corridors were pitch-black, but Samus's helmet glowed, giving off some light. We carefully searched the halls. I noticed a door slightly open, and we entered. Inside were two bodies. One of them looked like it had exploded; the other seemed intact. Samus examined the two bodies, then recoiled as one of the bodies shook. "That person's still alive!" I exclaimed. Samus turned the body over to see the terrified face of a hyperventilating scientist. She stopped hyperventilating when she saw that we were friendly. "What happened?" I asked.

"My… f-friend… he… he… exploded, and this… this blob just…. just floated out," whimpered the scientist. Samus hissed. "The X! But how did they get on the station…! They must have hitched a ride on my ship! Come on, kid!" She quickly got the scientist comfortable, then once she was sure she was asleep, dashed out of the room.

"I have a name, darn it!" I complained as I followed her out. We stopped. Blocking both ways was a barrage of the little blobs apparently called X. Samus paused, charging her gun. But upon seeing them, hunger burst forth. With a savage yell, I charged the X, absorbing them. The taste of gelatin filled my mouth. I wiped it and turned to see Samus absorbing the other X. I grinned, and said, "You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."

"What?" Samus walked over to me.

"Oh, nothing."

"Right then. Let's get to the ship. Maybe we can blow up the station and get out with our lives."

We made it back to the docking bay in one piece. The problem was that a massive blob was blocking our way to Samus's ship. She cursed, "A Core-X! God ****ing damnit!"

I winced. "Was all that cursing really necessary?"

"No," she admitted, "but it felt good."

"And on that note, I suppose we're going to blow that giant orb to kingdom come?" I inquired.

"What did you think, kid, I was going to invite it to coffee?" Samus proceeded to blast the beast with about twenty more missiles than was necessary.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot. Better blow this place… oh crap. I can't or the GF will roast my ass," she realized. "Great, now what do I do?"

"How about _not_ blowing this place up?" I snapped.

"I got no time for sassiness, kid."

" For God's sake, I have a name!"

"That's great. I don't give a _krlluren_."

"Were you just coughing up a hairball?"

"Do you want me to make you cough out your _lungs_?"  
><em>KKRREEAAAAAAAAK! <em>We froze. "What was that?" I asked.

"If I knew, I would tell you," replied Samus.

_KRAKKREEAAK!_ We looked down to see the floor give way. "AAAAUUUGH!" I screamed.

We fell through the floor for what seemed like hours, and we were _still_ falling.

"How long have we been plummeting to our doom?" I asked Samus, while in free-fall.

"About an hour, and it's only _you_ who's falling to their doom. My suit will absorb the shock."

"Oh great. Nice to know you care." I slowed my descent so that I was above Samus. With some careful maneuvering, I managed to land on her shoulder pads. Around us, the walls began to change color as we fell deeper and deeper.

" This is like Norion all over again. Get off, kid!" she yelled.

"As if! Look, down there!" I shouted. We looked down into a massive pool of water. _KERSPLOOOOOSH!_

I popped up, gasping for air. Next to me, Samus bobbed up to the surface. I looked up, and could see some light forcing its way down. "Why is there a freaking tank of water down _here_?" I wondered.

"I have a feeling that we're going to fin-" _GLOOP_! A tentacle shot out of the water and dragged Samus under.

"Oh, come on! Can't I ever get a break?" I complained. Then I sank. I panicked until I realized that it wasn't our unknown assailant. It was my metal foot. I forced my way up to the surface. Of course things had to be complicated like that. I was griping about it when a tentacle shot out of the water and dragged me down. Underwater, I couldn't see anything. It was too dark. Then, a beam of light cut through the darkness. I looked over and saw Samus's helmet shining about 12,000 watts of light at our attacker. I looked at it and gasped. Immediately I regretted my mistake, seeing as we were underwater. But the thing was horrifying. It had the face of a six-eyed slug that was freaking green. The monster was encased in a massive armorsuit, with two exposed tentacles and two armored hands. It had a tail, and at its end was a massive gravity generator. The creature roared, but it didn't sound like a challenge. It sounded like a plea. That was the most disturbing thing about it. _BLUB!_ I realized that I was quickly running out of air, so I began to fire at the tentacle holding me. When the first few shots struck it, the tentacle uncurled and recoiled. I swam up and burst out of the water. I treaded water, gasping, and then was forced to hold my breath again as the nightmarish beast dragged me under with its armored hands. I began to shoot them, but to no avail. I turned my head quickly, or tried to, looking around. Above the monster, through the water, I saw a large, wobbling chunk of metal hanging precariously. I began to concentrate my fire at that point. The beast seemed confused. It looked upward, just as the piece of metal broke off from the wall. A look of horrified comprehension dawned on its face just as the metal struck it. The beast roared in agony before the metal on its back pushed it down into the darkness. I cheered, before remembering where I was. I quickly swam up for air, and was treading water happily. Then I heard someone yell. "_D-blub-rn yo-blorb- kid!" _ I had forgotten about Samus. I swore, and then dove back under to find her. I kept swimming down. And down. And down. At one point, my neck began to itch. I ignored it and kept going. Finally, I made it to the bottom of the massive tank. I hung there, suspended in the water, looking for Samus or the monster. Then, I saw her. The beast's arm had pinned her down. To make matters worse, her helmet had been knocked off. She was wriggling around, trying to get free. It only made things worse because she was running out of air more quickly. I swam down. When she saw me, she wriggled more fiercely. I ignored it and forced the hand off her back. Without a moment's hesitation, she grabbed her helmet lying nearby and jammed it on her head. I heard some whooshing as bubbles were expelled from Samus's suit's neck. She stood up, and glared at me. I shrugged. Then her eyes widened slightly, and she motioned to her neck. I rubbed my neck to feel slight ridges there. Water was being expelled from the ridges. Were they freaking _gills_? Was I a freaking _fish_? My day was getting better and better. She grabbed me by the hand and something on her back activated, propelling us upward. When we finally broke the surface, Samus was the first to speak. "Good idea, kid. Trap the only person trying to kill it too."

"Look, I didn't see you getting anywhere. What was that thing?"

"It's called the Nightmare. It's a biomechanical weapon. It can fire missiles and Beam weapons. And you saw its gravity generator, didn't you? How did it get here? Anyway, let's move on to the bigger problem. You had gills, for God's sake! We need to get you to Federation HQ immediately."

"Yeah? Well, here's an even bigger problem: How are we getting out of this tank?"

"Give me a sec." Samus disappeared under the surface. I waited. She soon reappeared. "There's a hatch about twenty meters down."

"Great. I have to do more swimming."

"What's wrong? Afraid of a little water?" she replied scornfully.

"No. It reminds me that I have gills, which is really freaky. Also, if three billion gallons of water is a little, then tell me, how much water is a lot?"

"Say, twenty billion. Come on." She yanked me under. Annoyed, I wrestled free of her grip, but followed her down. We made it to the hatch without any trouble, and went through. The tunnel sloped upwards onto dry, mechanized land. We trudged along, until I stepped into a puddle and felt a tingle. I looked down at my foot to see the prosthetic spark wildly. Samus eyed it cautiously. She eventually said, "Take it off."

"Why?"

"Do it, unless you want your spinal cord to be fried."

"Would that really-"

"DO IT!"

The foot came off surprisingly easily. I leaned against the wall for support. "Here," I said, handing it to her. She stood there for a moment, examining the foot, before throwing it back the way we came. When it landed in the drink, it actually exploded. We watched it for a few moments, then she gazed at my foot and said, "Look down."

I looked to see a brand-new foot. "What the- did you do this?" I wondered. "No. Nanobots did."

"What-bots?"

"Never mind. The point is, you have two working feet. So use them."

We resumed trudging through the tunnel. It was incredibly boring, and I mentioned it. "Suck it up," grumbled Samus.

I stopped. "Look. I'm sick and tired of you treating me like some spoiled brat. I think I've earned a little respect. So give me some."

"As if." She stopped as a red burst flashed past her head. I cocked my head, staring at her grimly. "What did you do?" she questioned. In response, I fired a second burst just over her head. "I'm going to make you wish you hadn't done that," she threatened. I flipped her the bird and smiled. "That's it. You're dead, kid!" She fired multiple yellow blasts at me. I narrowly avoided them, what with being in a confined tunnel. Deciding to end this confrontation now, I absorbed some blasts, slid underneath her, and vaulted onto her back. Samus roared, "That's getting old! But it's going to be older than you'll ever be!" In response, I pulled her helmet off, and smacked her repeatedly across the face with it. Then, I threw her back down the tunnel. Samus landed in the water on her back. She tried to get up, but I leaped on her and held her head in the water. She thrashed around, trying to get free, then relaxed. I held her under for a couple more minutes before her tensed muscles actually did relax. Sensing that she was unconscious, I pulled her out of the water. Samus lay there. I studied her. She had blond hair, and a pretty face. Ignoring that, I turned her over. On her back were three red circles, and on her arms were sharp orange spikes. I jammed the helmet back on her head, and listened to its diagnostic computer: "WARNING: Cardiac failure imminent. Lungs waterlogged. Administering drainage and adrenaline."

I dragged Samus down the tunnel while her suit got to work. The tunnel slowly broadened, and began to slope upwards. Dragging Samus along got tiring, and I got hungry. But I kept going. Eventually, I heard a _beep_, followed by: "Drainage and adrenaline administered." Samus stirred, resulting in me dropping her like a radioactive isotope. I waited for her to wake up. Without warning, she sat up and her hand lunged at me. I slapped it aside. " I just saved your life, and you try to strangle me?" I snapped.

"Well, you tried to kill me, first." Samus's voice was raspy.

"If I wanted to kill you, I think I would have left you there."

"Good point." She got to her feet, and said, "You're the first person to ask for my respect, and the only one unwilling to back down when I say no. So I suppose you've earned it."

"That's all I ask." We continued up the tunnel. My arms began to itch, but I didn't mention it. Soon, the tunnel led to a hatch. We stepped through to find ourselves roughly thirty feet above the Docking Bay. Samus leaped down. After a moment's hesitation, I followed suit. The impact was similar to curb-stomping a rock. Samus and I boarded her ship, before I remembered, "What about the scientist?"

"She's either dead or an X-host. We have to get to the Federation immediately and convince them to destroy SR388 for good."

"Why?"

"SR388 is the home of the Metroids and the X. If we destroy it, then the universe will be rid of the X for good."

"And why do the X need to be destroyed, exactly?"

"They are merely parasites, but powerful parasites. They take not just the form, but the memories and knowledge of their host. They also reproduce asexually. One surviving X could spell the doom of galactic civilization."

"Oh, great. As if we didn't already have enough to worry about."

"Adam, let's go."

"On it. Would it kill you to say please, you ungrateful b-"

"Shut up!" I yelled.

The ship flew out of the docking bay. I looked back to see a giant shelled, alligator-like creature burst from under the Docking Bay. "Hey, what's that?"

Samus spared a glance, and blanched. She pushed some buttons, and said, "That was a Queen Metroid! We need to blow up that station, now!" Samus flew the ship into a nearby asteroid belt. She fired a burst at a particularly huge rock, which began to spiral off down to the station. It crashed into the station, and both objects were vaporized. As the station was obliterated, I felt a strange feeling of loss. I sat back in my chair and watched as Samus programmed in coordinates for a ship called the _G.F.S. Olympus_.

**Next time: On board the **_**Olympus**_**, Sam must not only deal with an X infestation but also some bodily changes that he can only wish was because of puberty! Also, an old face makes a return!**

**I am always accepting OCs, folks. Whether in reviews, PMs, or smoke signals (well, not the last one)! Speaking of which, read and review! Trolling is punishable by law. Flaming is punishable by fart. Good reviews are rewarded with money.**


	13. Puberty is a Bitch

"Aagh. I feel like I just had a hangover," I grunted. Samus swiveled around in her seat. "That's what you get for consuming roughly twenty-seven cans of _Rabbizia._ Although, I'm impressed. Anyone else would have been dead of alcohol poisoning by can thirteen. You have a mere hangover after twenty-seven. And where the hell did you even get that stuff?"

"How did you find out about that stuff? Besides, the guy who gave it to me said it was nonalcoholic."

" Never trust anyone in a cantina. And speaking of which, just how did you pay for the stuff?"

"Um…"

She fixed a steely gaze at me. "I'm under orders to keep you alive, healthy, _and_ law-abiding until we get to the _Olympus_."

"Yeah, um, I kind of helped him out a bit."

"By which you mean…"

"I killed some guys trying to rob him."

She blanched. "You _what_?"

" Yeah. I tried to break it up peacefully, and one of them tried to brain me with a pole. Then the other guy tried to stab me."

"_Zkruen_!"

"What?"

"Nothing."

The incident we were talking about had happened the previous night, when Samus had stopped off at a small orbiting station to fill up on Fuel Gel, the only stop we had made since we left that unfortunate X-infested station three days prior.

"When I said you could look around, I didn't mean this!" she exclaimed.

"You're not my mom."

"But I'm being ordered to act like one. God, if this is what I was like as a teen… Grey Voice was even more patient than he seemed."

My arms began to itch. I scratched them idly, noticing some red circular marks in vaguely triangular-ish patterns. Thinking they were just welts, I ignored them. "D'you have anything for a hangover, then?"

"Yeah." She raised her Arm Cannon and shot me. I jumped. "OW!"

"There. Hangover gone."

"This is Private Jonathan C. Cassim of the _G.F.S. Olympus_. Please state your name and your ship registration within the next hundredth of a cycle."

"Looks like we're here," muttered Samus. She quickly rattled off her registration.

"Thank you, Ms. Aran. You may land in Bay 5-H. Admiral Dane would like to see you."

Samus maneuvered the ship into the bay. Several soldiers were milling about in the massive chamber. "Adam, keep an eye on the ship. Don't let anyone in except me unless they have my clearance."

"Yeah, whatever. Do you know how damn boring my life is? Adam, do this. Adam, do that. I wish I were human again. Actually, I wish I had just locked the doors of the Navigation Room during the Main Boiler meltdown. Then I would be dead, and I wouldn't have to deal with this menial bulls-"

"Shut up," I told him. We disembarked. The soldiers stared at me. Probably never seen anyone except Samus leave her ship before. I stared them down, forcing them to lower their gazes.

"Seriously, what is with your computer? He's got a personality disorder, for God's sake!" A nervous looking soldier was leading us to the bridge. I wanted to know why Adam was so angry, grumpy, emotional, pessimistic, etc. All that Samus would say is, "He got asked to play a psychotic computer in a video game. I got paid about a million credits for it, but Adam's never been the same since."

"Sir, boy, we've reached the bridge," announced the soldier. As we stepped in, I couldn't help snicker, "Sir? Really?"

Samus looked down at me. "If you try to make a joke like that, I will throw you into deep space."

"And on that note, it's the famous bounty hunter Samus Aran and her sidekick, Sam!" I muttered as we entered the bridge.

"Ah, Samus, it's good to see you. And the boy?"

"Is right here," I said. My arms began to itch again, near the welts, so I began to scratch them.

"All right, let's get to the point. Samus, as much as it pains me to say this, we were wrong about the X. They have just made a massive attack on the Cradion system. They took out every habitation, including the Kriken colony."

"I would say 'I told you so', but you just said Kriken. Please tell me that you did not just say Kriken," complained Samus.

"He said Kriken," I quipped.

"Shut up."

"Um, Aran, why is the boy growing some kind of spike on his arms?"

"Excuse me? Was that random or what?" I asked.

"Look at your arms," came the reply.

My arms were now home to a series of flesh-colored, serrated spikes, like the ones on Samus's suit. "This is so w_eird_," I grumbled. "Can't I have a normal day even once?"

Some scientists scurried into view. They crowded around my arms, poking the spikes, taking pictures, and using some hand scanners on them. I got annoyed and told them where they could stick their scanners. The disgruntled scientists stepped back. Dane asked, " Would you mind submitting to an examination?"

"What kind of examination?"

" We just want to check your bio structure."

"By which you mean…"

"Would you just let us examine you?"

"Well," I hesitated, and then I looked at the spikes on my arm. "Okay."

I was led out of the control room, through the grey, spartan halls, and into a large chamber with a stasis tank at the far end. I eyed the tank with some misgivings, remembering my last experience with them. One scientist said, "Get in."

"In what?"

"The tank. What else?"

While I was still wary of the tank, I figured I had best get it over with. I stepped into the tank. I waited. All of a sudden, I blacked out.

I blinked my eyes open. I was standing in the tank, with a green liquid up to my knees. My jumpsuit was gone, replaced by some khaki shorts and a grey shirt. My head ached. I called out, "Hey! Can someone let me out? Hello! Anyone?"

I kept calling for several minutes, before giving up. I punched the tank, which shattered. I stepped out. It was then that I looked around. This was not the same room that the tank had originally been in. The room was filled with several other stasis tanks, each one housing an X of a different color. One of the tanks was shattered. I gingerly stepped around it. In the corner of the room, near the door, stood an activated terminal. I walked over to it. The terminal had a document onscreen. I began to peruse the file:

_Galactic Federation Ship Olympus_

_Biological Laboratory 3_

_Technician-Private Franklin S. Tierney_

_Day 1,298_

_Admiral Dane, and the bounty hunter Samus Aran brought in a new subject today. It is a human male, aged 1.4 decacycles. Dane asked me to scan him. The results were incredible:_

_The boy has an incredibly efficient body system. Every single organ is dedicated to increasing his survival capabilities. He has a set of gills, four lungs, and two hearts. This effectively doubles the efficiency of his cardiovascular and respiratory systems. His digestive system has been optimized as well. The subject is almost like a nuclear reactor, converting mass directly into energy, and possibly vice-versa. Therefore, the subject lacks any organs to remove waste. All matter is converted to energy. The subject's neural network is mystifying as well. It seems to be a fusion of biology and technology. His pituitary gland has been artificially stimulated to regulate his muscle mass, enabling him to lift roughly two tons. To keep his entire body from collapsing under this amalgam of nature, the subject has been augmented with nanobots, which are produced in several machines in the space where his excretory organs should be. These nanobots enable a regeneration ability and a supercharged immune system. Underneath his left heart lies a small, geode-like organ that produces a constant supply of Phazon, the only supply left since the Phazon Crisis fifty years ago. Due to this Phazon production, the subject is currently 65% corrupted. The most exciting thing about it is that the Phazon has no side effects whatsoever. In fact, it seems to act like adrenaline. In certain situations, the subject will be able to channel this Phazon to use as a body stimulant and weapon. Speaking of weapons, we have never seen anything like the boy's. According to Aran, he was used as a test subject by the Space Pirates, as the 'ultimate weapon'. To this end, his left arm can retract into the wrist to reveal a hollow capable of firing Beam weapons on par with that of Aran. The arm is also capable of producing a missile rack. Each missile's power is comparable to that of one of Aran's Super Missiles. We are currently wondering how this is possible. One of my interns suggested that the weapons were augmented with a liquid diffuser. It makes sense, considering that the Pirates stole a prototype diffuser two decades ago, which they have been using on themselves with great effect. The subject's eyes have been augmented with artificial rods and cones, which can be activated by electrical waves to simulate Aran's Visors. We are amazed by the subject. He has undergone so many gene and technology modifications that he should be dead. And speaking of genetic modifications, we were stunned by his. His genetic structure is:_

_10% Human, just enough for him to resemble one and retain the major organ systems._

_15% Chozo, which comprises the neural network and bone structure._

_10% Metroid, which enables all of the Metroid powers, but is also causing mutations._

_10% Reptilicus, which increases durability and increases his resistance to extreme temperatures._

_10% Zebesian, which also increases his durability and gives him improved cardiovascular and respiratory systems._

_1% Skultera, which enabled the gills._

_10% Nanobot, we are unable to explain this, as the nanobots seem to be creating genes on the fly. Our best guess is that they help regulate the other genes._

_5% Phrygisian, giving him the longevity of one._

_5% Phazon, also a mystery. Possibly due to Phazon corruption, it has become a major part of his genetic structure._

_24% Unknown, this DNA is from creatures either we have never gotten DNA samples from or were created in laboratories._

_Due to multiple stasis sessions, it seems that the nanobots are beginning to malfunction._

_All this adds up to just one thing: the Space Pirates succeeded in creating the ultimate weapon. It's amazing that he managed to survive the modifications. Of course, the nanobots may say otherwise. We're just lucky he's on our side…. For now. I am sure we have just scratched the surface of the boy. More scans are needed. One last note: Part of the unknown DNA contained Federation markers from B.S.L. I'm not sure what to make of it._

_END LOG_

The reading was certainly intriguing, but it was useless right now. I scrolled over to another log.

_Galactic Federation Ship Olympus_

_Corridor Delta-7, outside Biological Laboratory 3_

_Private Jacob S. Collins_

_Day 1,298_

_VOICE LOG_

_It's pretty quiet out here. I'm just making a log to relieve the boredom. Ever since that kid in the tank was brought down here, I was assigned to guard the laboratory. It's creepy down here. I'm practically in the bowels of the ship. Plus, it's boring as hell. Scuttlebutt says that the lab I'm guarding is actually housing X parasites from the planet SR388. After the whole B.S.L. incident, Samus Aran was put on probation, until the X somehow got to the Cradion system. The Federation put up an energy shield to block off the rest of the universe, and good thing too. For two days, the only thing broadcasting on the quantum bandwidth were camera feeds of the X devastating the system. The Federation had to issue a public apology to Samus, which probably ticked off more than a few fat politicians. But it also saved their lives. I heard that Aran's fans attacked Norion's Federation Capitol. For like three days. Crazy what they'll do. _

KSHHH!_ Huh? What was that? _[Sound of rifle cocking]_ KSHH! Holy- Aaaah! Help! Someone! Anyone! AAAAA-_

_END LOG_

That was…. creepy. I headed to the door to try and open it. The door was unresponsive to everything I did, from shooting it to hacking it. With nothing else to do, I returned to the terminal and began reading more voice logs. They started the same way, a bored soldier guarding some room deciding to make a log. He or she would ramble on, until they heard a scraping noise. Then, the log would degenerate into screams, until the last scream was suddenly cut off. I scanned the room. Seeing the other broken tank made me wonder if an X parasite had escaped. I saved the thought for later as I began reading more logs:

_Galactic Federation Ship Olympus_

_Biological Laboratory 2_

_Private-Technician Amanda J. Johnson_

_Day 1,298_

_VOICE LOG_

_I got transferred to the G.F.S. Olympus today. They were running a lockdown drill, so I got a crash course. I was told to make a voice log and detail the main points. Don't know why. So here they are:_

_In the event of lab contamination, all hatchways will be locked down until all hostile bioforms are terminated. Ugh… just saying that gives me an awful taste in my mouth. Glad I'm not a soldier, just a techie. _KSSHH!_ Hey! Colonel Jones, what was that? [_inaudible answer]_ Well, okay. _KRINK! _Colonel, listen! I think a vent is loose!_ QUOOSH-QUOOSH-QUOOSH!_ What was that? Look! It's an- AAAIII! Colonel Jones! _SWISH! _*_huff huff huff huff* _Wait! I'm still recording! We're being attacked by- _THUD THUD-_ eep! Oh, it's just you, Ms.- AAAAAI-_

_END LOG_

That was convenient. I assumed that hostile bioforms meant, in this case, X parasites. I blew up the remaining tanks. As one, the freed parasites swarmed into me. I waited a few seconds and was rewarded by the activation of the hatch. I shot at it, and the terminal flashed. The doors opened, revealing the vacuum of space. Everything not bolted down flew into the inky void, yours truly included. I grabbed the door, forcing what air was left into my lungs. My grip loosened. Just as it peeled off entirely, I looked over to the terminal, which cheekily flashed, "REPRESSURIZE? Y/N". I flew out into my doom.

I floated through space. The first thing I had noticed was that I was breathing. The second thing I noticed was that my back was expelling jets of air. The third thing I noticed was that my Visor vision had come up involuntarily, and was flashing, "_Oxygen reserves 97%. Time to depletion: 5:49:34"._ How convenient, yet creepy. I observed the situation. The _G.F.S. Olympus_ was in the same place, although it had gotten some major redecorations. The lower half of the ship had a massive chunk taken out of its stern, with smaller chunks missing here and there, which floated around. The upper half of the ship seemed to have mostly escaped damage. But what drew my attention were the horrific creatures crawling around the upper half. They looked like horrifying fusions between creatures that should have never even imagined the other existed. Mermaid-like Reptilicus things wriggled around. Zebesians with way too many appendages squirmed about. I watched in quiet awe. As I watched, green beams flared across the hull, striking the monsters and sending them spiraling into space. As I viewed the scene, Samus Aran, feet firmly attached to the hull, came striding around, picking off monsters with uncanny accuracy. But she was quickly being outnumbered. To even the odds, I zapped a few creatures. Samus looked around. Upon seeing me, her eyes widened. I waved. She gestured. I looked around, and spying a stray piece of debris, used it as a launchpad to rocket towards her. I landed on the hull. She pointed to my head. I shook it, unsure what she was talking about. In the corner of my vision, my Visor's oxygen gauge read, " _Oxygen reserves 74%. Time to depletion: 4:28:35"._ She beckoned, and led the way to a hatch. We entered into an airlock. Samus glared at a terminal in the corner. With a whirr, it activated, pressurizing the room. My visor vision disappeared, and the first thing I heard with air to support sound was, "transparent!"

"What?"

"You're turning transparent!"

"Say what?"

"You heard me!"

I looked at my hand. It was clear, enabling me to watch the veins pulse, weaving through the bones. "That is so cool!"

" How did you survive in the emptiness of space?"

"I had an air supply."

"What?"

"You heard me," I parroted. Samus glared at me, and shot the hatch. It opened to reveal a very angry spider-like Zebesian. I roundhouse-kicked it through the hatch into a convenient spike of twisted metal jutting out from the far end of the hall. The creature hung there limply for a moment, before dissolving into an X parasite. Samus swore. Looking as angry as an amorphous blob could look, it attacked, only to be finished off. I moved forward. Sensing that Samus wasn't moving, I turned to face her. As I did, I felt a funny sensation. "What?" I asked. She pointed at my back. "You have a tail."

"… AAAAAGGGH!"

_POW!_ Samus sucker punched me out of my trance. "Thanks. I needed that," I admitted. "But what the heck is going on? First spikes from my arms, now a freaking tail?" I examined my newest appendage. It was flesh colored, with an arrowhead tip on the end. Cool, yet incredibly weird. Samus was staring at it with the same intensity. "I have a really bad feeling about this."

"Yeah. It comes with HAVING A FREAKING TAIL!" I screamed. Samus punched me again. "Ow."

She dragged me down the hallway. I looked out the view panes. All sorts of monsters were crawling around the ship. "Where are we going?" I asked Samus.

"To find Dane."

"And he is…"

"Not here."

"Of course."

HISSS! A Reptilicus with far too many eyes lunged at me. My(gulp) tail stabbed it. The Reptilicus slumped, before transforming into an X. Samus finished it off. "Why is everything trying to kill _me_?" I complained.

"Because they see you as a greater threat."

Samus turned at a junction. I followed her, looking the other way to see a hapless soldier get sucked into space through a smashed corridor. The corridor quickly sealed.

"HELP!" I heard a familiar voice cry out. "What the-" I muttered, spinning around. Samus had stopped, listening. "Down there," she announced, pointing farther down. I rushed ahead of her. At the end of the hall was a group of mutant X swarming a Luminoth. The Luminoth was shooting a Freeze Gun, keeping them at bay, but I could tell that he was going to run out of power. I dashed down the hall, yelling, "HEY!" The Luminoth and X turned. Upon seeing me, the X coalesced into a massive germ with some kind of shell. Multiple missiles from behind me shattered it, and Samus leapt up and absorbed the X. The Luminoth watched us. I waved. "Hi. Don't you have anything to say?"

"Yes. Sam, it's great to see you again!"

"Wait. You're L-Una!" I gasped.

"Yes. It is I. I see you have brought the Chozo Hatchling with you."

"Uh, when did you start referring to Samus like that?"

"When I became a member of Cadre 3. But enough about me. Sam, what happened to you? Your metal foot is gone, there are spikes growing out of your arms, you have a tail, and your skin is acquiring a scale pattern."

"Yeah. I really don't know anything more than you about this. L-Una, what happened since we last saw each other?"

"After I stepped into the teleporter, by a stroke of divine chance, I ended up in the Sanctuary Fortress on my home planet, Aether, where I had been missing for five quarter-cycles. When my fellow Luminoth heard what had transpired, they were furious. But at the same time, impressed that I had held up under pressure like that. Because I had missed my initiation ceremony due to being, well, you know, I was automatically enlisted into Cadre 3, the Luminoth's extraterrestrial defense force. Nine of my fellow Luminoth and I were sent to the _G.F.S._ _Olympus_ to talk to Admiral Castor Dane about my, er, training on Tallon III. We had arrived yesterday afternoon, and were scheduled to meet the Admiral today. But then a Space Pirate frigate appeared and boarded us. They sent out horrific creatures that, when killed, transformed into amorphous blobs known as X parasites. The parasites quickly damaged the _Olympus_. Most of my fellow Luminoth were killed in the fighting. Myself and one other, J-Ora, are the only ones left." I heard a buzzing scream. L-Una looked pale. "Um, now I am the only one remaining. Anyway, what happened to you, Sam?"

"Short version: I ended up on Bryyo, hitched a ride to SR388, fought Samus's doppelgänger, blew up a space station, landed on the _Olympus_, and am currently undergoing some seriously crazed mutations."

"Wow."

KREEEE! L-Una and I swallowed. That cry sounded eerily familiar. Since life likes making mine hell, the cry was followed up by a very sadistic-looking dragon. "They grow BIGGER versions?" I whined.

"Ah. Samus. Nice to see you. Ooh. I see you brought along a couple friends. A Luminoth, and, ah, I love irony, my son," chuckled the purple monster.

I turned pink. "Wait. Son? Don't throw out damned clichés like that!"

Samus responded by shooting a green missile at him. The dragon merely sliced it out of the air with a tail that looked a lot like mine. "Won't you greet an old friend, Sammy? Or are you just disgusted that I chose to live on in the very beings I usually slaughter? Hmm? I'm surprised you didn't figure it out. I thought for sure that the tail would have given it away by now."

"Hang on! How did you know I was growing a friggin' tail?" I demanded.

"Pshh. I was there when you were captured. I watched my underlings experiment on you. I personally conducted your modifications. After all, Sammy, who better than to conduct modifications than me? Ah ha ha ha haha hahh!" laughed the dragon, wiping his eyes with a very sharp claw.

Samus responded, "When I saw the tail, of course I knew. But why didn't I kill him? Good question, Ridley. If you remember the Super Metroid, maybe then you'll realize why." She followed up with a shot.

"You grew attached? Sammy, I never realized you were one for motherhood. Then again, your 'children' haven't exactly been normal. First a Metroid, now this freak of nature?" mocked the dragon, swiping at her.

L-Una was watching this conflict quietly. While Samus and Ridley were fighting, verbally as well as physically, he muttered, "You have a really dysfunctional family."

"Dysfunctional is a bit of a compliment. Plus, I don't care what he says, that dragon is my father when Diamonts fly," I muttered back.

"Oh, by the way, I think it's time that my son joined the brawl," sneered Ridley. He pulled out a remote from somewhere and pressed a button on it.

We all stood there, save Ridley, who hovered there, furiously slamming the button repeatedly. Finally, I couldn't stand it, and mocked, "Was that supposed to _do_ something?"

Ridley swore, and swallowed the remote. He bellowed, "Screw it! Hey Sammy. Since you've been in so many unannounced explosions, I'll give you a tip: The main reactor is set to go in roughly 57 minutes. Ciao!" With those parting words, Ridley gave a screech, blew fire onto the ceiling, and escaped through the hole. Samus looked up, then turned, saying, "Come on."

"Shouldn't we try to stop the explosion?" wondered L-Una.

"No. Knowing Ridley, it's wired right into the reactor."

She led us out of the room, and into a monster-infested chamber. Multiple X parasites floated around. Upon seeing our motley group, they coalesced into a massive X. Samus wasted no time in launching about eighty missiles at it, obliterating it. We passed through. The next few rooms were filled with more X, who, upon seeing us, also coalesced. They fell quickly. We stepped out into an elevator chamber, and took the lift up. The three of us stood there, waiting. I looked over at Samus and L-Una. Samus seemed to be deep in thought about something. L-Una was murmuring something. The lift reached the Habitation Deck, and we exited into a madhouse. Frantic scientists scurried everywhere, while soldiers were unhelpfully barking orders to shut up and calm down. When one of the scientists exploded to reveal an X, well, things went downhill from there. I'd rather not describe the massacre in the Habitation Deck that we were forced to commit. L-Una, with his [lack of] stomach for death, was turning a brilliant emerald. Samus forced us back onto the lift, where we ascended to the bridge. Upon arriving, we were witness to a horrifying scene. Scientists and soldiers alike had been ripped apart and slaughtered in gruesome ways. One soldier's intestines had been used to strangle him. A hapless scientist had had his pen smashed into his brain. L-Una turned, and we could hear unpleasant sounds coming from his direction. We cautiously moved forward. Samus remarked, "I have a feeling that something ugly is going to happen."

"Gee, what gave it away?" I muttered.

L-Una interjected. "I suspect that it is the observation that all of the humans in this room have been killed in horrific ways."

Samus rolled her eyes, which L-Una didn't seem to notice. We carefully moved towards the far end of the bridge, the command room. The hatch was locked down. L-Una looked at it and said, "We are not alone."

"And how do you… that's a contamination lock, isn't it?" I moaned.

"Yes. Sam, I have a bad feeling about this."

"Well, we can't waste any more time," interrupted Samus. "We have 27 minutes to get to the Docking Bay before this ship goes under."

"How can a starship go, as you say, 'under', when there is nothing to go under?" asked a confused L-Una, to which Samus again rolled her eyes.

_GRRUUU…._

We all froze, hearing something that most definitely was not friendly. Slowly, we turned. Into the mouth of what would have definitely won the award for 'Most Likely to Rip Your Face Off While You Are Handing It The Award'. It had a bipedal body, and powerful claws and feet. Its face looked like a leech. Samus muttered, "Omega Metroid," as we stared into the mouth of the beast.

It roared, and swiped. We leaped back just in time to avoid it. I brought up my cannon, but Samus shoved it down. She began to shoot blue bursts into the Metroid's chest. It screeched in pain, and staggered back. The Metroid launched a swipe that knocked Samus back. L-Una and I provided some cover fire for her to get up. L-Una's Freeze Gun was working really well. While they took potshots, I fired missiles at it to draw its attention. The Metroid didn't stand a chance. After the battle, we stood, looking at the corpse. Samus bent down, examined it for a minute, and then threw the corpse over her shoulder. "How the heck can you lift that?" I wondered. "Seventeen minutes left," she shot back. Behind us, the hatch to the command room opened. We stepped through. The command room was strewn with bodies. Most were dried husks, some were pure skeletons. I wondered what had caused the skeletons. Samus stooped down beside a husk. She said in a tight voice, "Dane's dead."

We left the bridge for the lift, just barely managing to fit the Metroid in with us. Then, the lift suddenly stopped. Without missing a beat, Samus blew a hole in the floor of the elevator. L-Una peered down through the shaft. "You expect us to jump?"

"Twelve minutes," was the answer. L-Una had a look of fear, but he jumped. I stared down through the shaft, and felt a shove. I toppled in, yelling, "HEY!"

Samus, with her heavier armor, fell faster than us. She grabbed onto a ledge and swung onto it. L-Una reached out, and his momentum drove him into the shaft walls. I managed to angle myself so that I landed on the ledge with Samus. I pulled L-Una up, then we blasted open the doors to the Main Docking Bay. The Bay was empty, devoid of any ships save for Samus's. She carefully looked around, then motioned for us to move. Samus boarded the ship, then L-Una. I took one last look around. Samus called out, "Eight minutes."

I took a step forward, then stopped. _CREEAAAK!_ I looked down, and then swallowed as the floor collapsed underneath me. I plummeted down, screaming, "WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE MEEEEE!" My tail shot out and stabbed into the wall. I swung over into a ventilation shaft. My momentum drove me through the shaft into a laboratory. I clutched my head, looking around. The lab was drenched in a red light. A terminal sat on one end, near a familiar-looking device. I immediately recognized it as a teleporter. Thanking whatever god was willing to keep my alive, I moved to the terminal. I had just three minutes left. The terminal said that the teleporter was functional, but it was set for only one destination. The terminal also refused to tell me where that was. I considered it, then made my decision as a female voice blared, "THERE ARE NOW 75 SECONDS TO MAIN REACTOR MELTDOWN". I activated the teleporter, then threw myself in.

I felt the familiar sensation of teleportation. Then I noticed that I was suspended fifty feet in the air, inside a castle. I fell hard. I stood up shakily, and looked around. I was in a chamber with red carpets, marbled walls, and expensive-looking benches. Nobles and diplomats in garish clothes dotted the chamber, staring at me in fascination. I stared back, forcing most of them to drop their gazes. A few people kept the look. Behind them were funny looking rock men, and fish people. I heard a _shing_ and spun around. A good-looking princess in a pink dress was watching me, while at her side was a cross-dresser in green pointing a sword at me. "I fall from the sky, and instead of helping me up you try to shish-kebab me?" I demanded. "I thought you were nobles or something."

"Who are you?" asked the princess.

"Well, maybe if a certain cross-dresser _lowers their sword_, I'll introduce myself." The cross-dresser in question looked annoyed, but he lowered it so that it was aimed at my gut and not my neck. "Thank you," I snapped. "I'm Sam. Who are you, and why does the cross-dresser have a sword?"

"I am Zelda, Princess of Hyrule. The 'cross-dresser', as you say, is the Hero of Time."

"The skirt doesn't help."

**Next time: Sam's efforts to get back to his own universe are interrupted when a mysterious plague strikes the land. But there's more to this disease than meets the eye, especially for Sam.**

**Read and review, folks. If you're worried that the plot isn't advancing, don't. Flaming and trolling will be drowned and, um, slain, respectively (unless the troll in question is Kalgrash).**


	14. The Legend of Metroid

"Shut it. You're the one with a tail," said the hero in lime.

"Which, I might add, can kill."

"Both of you, enough," interjected Zelda. Something about her said that it was a good idea to listen. "Noble Hylians, Gorons, Kokiri, Gerudo, and Zoras, I apologize to have had the processions disrupted. I will see to it that the processions are rescheduled immediately. For now, as I am sure you will all agree, the most important thing is to learn more about the dragon-child. Where is he from? Does his mysterious arrival have something to do with the Chu plague?"

The assortment of beings gave nods, and filed quietly out of the room, to be replaced by multiple guards. I turned, impressed. "If I know anything about royalty, it's that they're impossible to control. How'd you do it without so much as a rebuttal?"

"I am a good leader."

SHINK! My tail whipped up and knocked the newly unsheathed sword from the Hero's hands. "For the last time," I snapped, "I'm not trying to kill the princess! But if you keep pulling that sword on me, you might end up sleeping with the fishes!"

"Link, I doubt that he is trying to kill me," said the princess.

"Thank you. Look, if you'll direct me to the nearest starport, I'll leave now."

"Starport? You mean you can actually go into the sky to the stars?" asked a confused Zelda. I groaned. "What kind of backwards place is this? Come to think of it, I don't think I've heard of any of these races. They aren't registered in the Galactic Federation, the Space Pirates haven't committed genocide lately, and the Krikens haven't conquered a star system in three weeks!" I paused as a thought came to me. "Are you one of those historical colonies? Y'know, the ones that schoolbeings visit before they're a full decacycle?"

"What strange things you speak of. Galactic Federations, Krikens, and what kind of pirates are from…" she vaguely waved at the ceiling, "beyond? Where exactly are you from?"

I groaned. Of all the places to end up on, that teleporter had sent me to some backwards planet where their lanterns weren't fusion powered. "I'm from... the planet Norion."

"Do you mean people live on more than one world?"

"There are currently twenty billion known inhabitable planets, only twelve billion of which have been settled. I think maybe three billion more are being colonized."

"Incredible!" exclaimed Zelda. "How many races live in your large world?"

"There's about three distinct species to any planet, so, I'd say sixty billion sentient species?"

"Amazing. I would like to visit this world one day."

" I'm pretty sure that you're just in an unexplored area of the galaxy. Is there anywhere with something that works like magic?" I figured that there might be some outdated, but still useful technology on this planet. It had probably suffered a major disaster like on Casnus 8, where the Sniuns had literally been forced to go underground, to protect themselves from a solar storm. By the time they were able to return to the surface, their technology had long since corroded into nothingness. They had had to start over, and their lives had been like that for maybe three hundred years, until a prospecting colony discovered the planet. I wondered if this planet had undergone the same thing. Zelda nodded. "Much of Hyrule works on magic. The Lens of Truth, the Temple of Time, the Triforce… almost everything from the cuccoos' anger to the Sacred Realm is magic-fueled."

"Wait! Magic makes those cuccoos angry?" asked Link.

That sounded like a LOT of technology to me, except for the angry birds thing.

"That narrowed down my search. Is there anywhere that a portal can be formed?"

"One." That was Link, and he elaborated, "On the far eastern side of Hyrule lies the Gerudo Desert. In the northeastern corner is the Arbiter's Grounds, where the Mirror of Twilight is located. It is a bridge between realms."

"Can you take me there?"

"I don't know. It's a pretty dangerous trip."

"Dangerous? Man, I have a tail, I'm turning transparent, there are spikes on my arm, I've survived two explosions, drained the life out of multiple killing machines, survived in outer space, and you think it might be dangerous for _me_? I think the hero part went straight to your head."

"Not for you. I can see that you're probably more dangerous than Ganon, and no, Zelda, I am not exxage- exagger-"

"Exaggerating?" offered Zelda.

"Thanks. I think it's dangerous for Zelda. She's definitely going to want to go along."

"Actually, Link, I don't. We have the Chu plague to deal with back here. You escort this dragon child straight to the mirror, then back. With or without him. I want you back within three days."

"You were talking about some plague. What's that?" I asked.

"About three weeks ago, someone came down with a nasty flu. We thought it was just seasonal, until he broke into violent pustules before finally, well, exploding. I thought it was just rumors, until it began to spread. Twenty people within the castle's right wing alone have died from this malady. Across Hyrule, every living thing, even the Moblins, have begun to show signs. All we know is that the afflicted each came into contact with Chus."

"And what's a Chu?"

Link pulled out a bottle from I don't even know where. It was filled with a blue jelly. "This," he said.

"So, Chus are jelly monsters?"

"More or less." That was Zelda.

"Okay then. Let's go to this Arbiter's Grounds."

And that was how I ended up standing in front of the coliseum known as the Arbiter's Grounds. I had jogged with a horse, nearly been violated by a flamboyant clown, fallen three hundred feet into a lake, been shot out of a cannon, and narrowly avoided falling into one of the many chasms dotting the desert. Seeing all I had been through, the Grounds weren't exactly impressive. If anything, it could be used for 21st century fear holos. It literally exuded menace. I shivered slightly. Link, without showing even a trace of discomfort, strode down the steps into the Arbiter's Grounds.

Inside, it was like Death had started remodeling, but left it unfinished. Chunks of walkways and stone dotted the area. In the center was a massive sand funnel. Placed on the wall were lanterns, which gave the room an eerie feel. We dashed across the sand, leaping from rock to rock, before reaching a doorway. Link grabbed the base and heaved it upwards. The next room was almost pitch-black, lit only by two lanterns on the far end of the room. What drew my attention, though, were the skeletons with swords stumbling towards us. I let out a small squeak. Link pulled out his sword and effortlessly decimated the skeletons. He flashed a look back as he opened the door to the next room. I followed more cautiously, now aware of the presence of reanimated bones in this place. The next room was huge, and dark. We passed through a massive gate to another room. It was brightly lit, but still eerie. We walked through the circular chamber to a massive door. The next chamber was cylindrical. On the sides, a spiral staircase that was destroyed in several places ringed the room. In the center was a colossal pillar with grooves. Looking at the walls, the same strange grooves were etched into the walls. I returned my attention to Link, who was currently holding what looked like a massive bronze top. Where the heck had he put that? He motioned for me to get on. I stepped on, and once he had, the top began to spin towards the grooves on the wall. It stuck, like a gear, and we rode the grooves up to the central pillar. Once there, we walked through a threshold into daylight again. Link turned and began walking up the stairs to the left. I followed him up the winding staircase into a massive arena. Multiple pillars ringed the arena. In the center was a small pedestal with a mirror-holder where something used to be. In the center of the arena was a massive black rock. I gazed at the rock. Suddenly, a bright light flashed, briefly blinding the two of us. When my vision returned, there were six glowing humanoids on top of the pillars. They wore weird masks, and there was a gap between the masks and the back of their heads. Link looked around curiously. Then the humanoids spoke:

"_Welcome, Hero of Time. And welcome, child of another world."_

"Excuse me? Child? I'm at least sixteen!" I said defensively.

"_Calm yourself. We know why you are here. We are the Sages of Hyrule."_

"Well that's a relief. Tell me, why exactly am I here?"

"_A plague ravages this land. We can stop it, but it will simply resurge. You must end this plague at its source."_

"And why me? Can't the hero do it? Seriously, I just want off this backwards rock," I grumbled.

"_You and this plague are mortal enemies. Your bloodline is part of the plague's natural predator. In your world, they are called Metroids, we believe."_

"If this plague is from the same universe… Wait. Link. Didn't you say that the diseased guys exploded?" He nodded. "Say something for once, but not now. Is this plague called X in my universe?" I asked.

"_Yes. You must end this plague, in both this world and yours. But you cannot do it alone."_

"That feels like an overused cliché," I mumbled.

"_We know. We enjoy watching your dimension's fake realities, called soap operas. But that's not the point. To help you in your quest, we will show you the first step and give you a gift._

"Sounds good to me!" I exclaimed. The sages raised their arms, and another bright light flashed. From the light came a small golden bracelet. I put it on. It fit nicely.

**No shit, Sherlock**.

"What the-? Who's there? And who's Sherlock?" I asked, looking around. The Sages and Link seemed confused.

_***sigh**_*** You really don't know who I am? What the hell, man. Did you slack off in history class, or were you just too stupid to listen?**

"I never _had_ any history class, you stupid bracelet!" I hissed angrily. I looked up at the Sages. "Your bracelet has a personality defect," I snapped. I tried to pull the bracelet off, but it didn't budge. The Sages gasped. _There is a dark power in this bracelet. There should be a guiding voice."_

"Clearly. So, 'dark power'," I said, sounding as scornful as possible, "d'you have a name?"

**Looks like I'm the brains of this relationship, eh? Oh, sorry, did I speak too fast for you? I'll slow it down a bit. My… name… is…. Dark…. Link. But… you… can… call… me…. Dark.**

"His evil twin is in the bracelet. I thought this was supposed to help me," I groused, pointing at Link. The Sages looked shocked. Link looked mildly interested. "_Dark Link? He was locked up in the Sacred Realm… years… ago… oh, for the love of Nayru. That party after we found the first hero. Remember?_ The other Sages nodded in confirmation. "Are you telling me you let him out after you had a FREAKING PARTY?" I bellowed. The Sages looked mortified. "Fine," I muttered, steaming, "just tell me how to get this thing off."

They looked even more embarrassed. "_Well, to tell you the truth, if we tried to remove it now, it would probably kill you. The dark power has bound its life force to yours."_

"Of course. Like nothing was going to go wrong. Just tell me where I need to go before I blast you with a missile," I hissed.

"_Go to the far east. Take the Abandoned Bridge to Old Hyrule. Inside the Ancient Castle, the source of the plague lies. Remove it, and we can remove all traces of this plague from our world. But you will have to do the same in yours. Oh, and um, sorry about the extra passenger."_

"You should be. Since we've got an extra passenger, why don't you just drop us off at the Ancient Castle?" I complained.

"_We don't really know. Our power only extends throughout New Hyrule. We can, however, transport you to the Abandoned Bridge."_

"Do i-"

_KRISH!_

The next thing I knew, Link and I were standing in front of a _huge_ chasm. It was at least three kilometers wide, and not even God knows how deep. There was no bridge in sight.

**It's invisible, you scaly dolt.**

"Shut up before I cut my arm off," I snapped.

**You really don't get it? I'm trying to**_** help**_** you.**

"Or you're trying to kill me," I muttered.

**If I kill you, I kill myself. Not only are you an idiot, but I can't even possess you. And believe me, it would increase your IQ to triple digits! **

"Shut up and tell me where the bridge is, you damn bracelet!"

***sigh* Move twenty meters to your right, and throw a rock at the chasm. Or Link. I don't really care which. And remember, call me Dark.**

I decided to assume he meant throw the rock at the chasm. I moved twenty meters, then looked for a rock. Seeing none, I grabbed Link and hurled him at the chasm. He landed in mid-air with a WHUMPH! Sitting up, he gave me a dirty look. I shrugged. I moved out cautiously. Thankfully, as we crossed the gorge, nothing bad happened.

**Oh, something bad wants to happen. You're just lucky I'm holding it at bay.**

"I think I'd rather have that than you," I muttered.

**I would love to torture you. **

" I know."

Once we crossed the bridge, we looked ahead. There was a strange haze, through which we could vaguely see the outlines of a castle. I stepped forward, through the haze. There was a slight blur, and then everything came into focus. I was standing in what was once a great plain. Now it was just a dead brown. To my left was a curved stone wall. To my right, a caramel river forced its way towards a snowing valley. Past that was the ruins of a stone staircase. Behind me, I could only see brown. In front of us, a massive castle. Behind me, Link came into view. I turned, and gestured towards the decrepit castle. We walked forward. The castle would have been glamorous. Now it looked evil. I heard a buzzing sound from the side.

**There's a staircase over there.**

I looked, but didn't see any staircase.

**To the left.**

I looked.

**No, to **_**my**_** left.**

"We have the same left!"

**For the love of Uryan! It's underneath the wrecked tower!**

Just underneath the wreckage of a massive tower, barely visible, was a staircase. I pointed it out to Link, and we walked down it. The buzzing grew louder. Finally, we came to a huge door. Link tapped it, and it swung open. We walked in. The door slammed shut. But I was too busy looking at what was in front. A massive pillar in the center of the round chamber. Several smaller pillars ringing the room. A recent memory emerged from my mind:

_He continued. "Okay, Sam. Martha and I need your help. You see, my sonic detected a hypertopographic fractal generator."_

_I blinked. "A hyper-y'know what, I won't even try."_

_He ignored me. " These fractal generators can be used to warp spacetime."_

"_So?"_

"_There are quite a few races out there that would pay with blood for this. Especially the Kriken Empire."_

This room held a hyperspace topographical fractal generator. I couldn't even figure out how I'd remembered the name.

**Does that really matter? Your mortal enemies are using it to break the barriers between worlds. How do you think they got into this one? Oh, and by the way, they've seen you, and they don't look inviting**.

The mortal enemies, were, of course, X. Who were swarming towards us. I quickly summoned my arm weapon, and blasted a few pillars into nothingness. But for some reason, they kept reforming. A group of X coalesced into a super-X, which fired a blast at me. It hit me like an antigrav cargo semi. I smashed into the wall, and painfully picked myself up. My own shots did nothing to harm it. I cursed, thinking that if I could switch weapons, things might get easier.

**You can. You have beams that can melt, freeze, electrocute, penetrate, and smack. Just think about which you want. You've had these powers for years, and you never figured that out? God, you're lucky I'm being nice enough to help.**

"Shut up," I grunted as I thought about freezing them. My arm began to emit a frost. I fired, and a turquoise beam shot out, freezing the super-X solid. I took the opportunity to shoot at some of the other pillars, but they regenerated.

**Of course they're regenerating, you idiot. They're X parasites.**

"How-exactly-do-you-know-all-this-?" I choked out, getting slammed into the wall by the unfrozen X.

**I've been probing your mind. And man, there is a LOT of unsavory stuff in there. Don't ask, it'll probably scar you for life. Which, if you don't figure out how to utilize more of your powers, will probably be very short and painful. Speaking of which, my dumbass twin needs help.**

Link was getting slammed into the wall by the X. For some reason, they weren't trying to infect him.

**His Master Sword repels evil, like these giant germs. But it won't stop him from getting crushed. Anyway, try shooting the giant pillar.**

Considering that he was trying to save both our skins, I blasted the pillar. It began to flicker, and so did the other pillars. Then, it flashed and vanished. In its place was a gigantic X parasite.

**Kill it, you idiot! KILL IT!**

I began to shoot. The parasite was unaffected. It tossed out a massive tentacle, which wrapped me up. I struggled in its gooey grasp. The X yanked the tentacle, and myself, into itself. Inside, the parasite was like a giant blob of gelatin. At the center of the mass was a small, glowing parasite. I awkwardly began to swim towards it. The X, sensing my presence, emitted a sound and began to vibrate. I grabbed it, and the X began to shrink. Finally, it shrank into nothingness. The rest of the X just dissolved. I lay on the floor, gasping for air. Nearby, Link was getting up.

**You want to get home now? That X you absorbed gave you the ability to warp spacetime. You now have your very own teleportation system. But don't think for a minute you're getting rid of me. It's either here or your world. And I'd rather go there.**

**Time to go.**

Suddenly, a black portal appeared. Link was unaffected, but I was being sucked in. I flew off the floor into the portal. Inside, it was rather dark, and windy. The trip abruptly ended, and I went hurtling onto a white floor. _THUD!_ I lay there, groaning. "Did… that… have… to… be… so… ow…"

**No. But I enjoyed it.**

_SQUEE!_

"What… was… that… ow…" My vision began to flicker, and the last thing I saw before passing out was a Metroid on my chest.

**Next time: Sam is on a strange ship. But he's not alone. Thankfully, the other person aboard is a hot girl! But there's more to this girl than meets the eye. Or the cybernetic one[I just threw out a hint, guys]!**

**This is not Dark speaking. It's me, ARandomDay. Nice to see you guys. I'm impressed at how many favorable reviews I've gotten. I'd just like to send a shoutout to Cardcopternicole. Thanks for sticking with this fanfic, Nikki!**

**Do you, my faithful readers, want a chance to determine the upcoming story arc for _Experiment 505_? Now you can! Just PM or review me and my story, respectively, and about where the plot should go. You'll notice I've been throwing lots of crossovers in here. Hit me with a crossover idea and I'll consider it. The best ones will be placed in _Experiment 505!_**

**I'm still accepting OCs(thanks again, Nikki, for sending one! And you can always send more!). Just put it in a review: character name, age, description, personality, species, etc.**

**Don't forget to just plain old read and review, guys! That's the heart of any good fanfiction!**


	15. BottleShipping

"_SQUEEE!"_

"AHH!" I leaped up, jarred awake by the unmistakable call of a Metroid. I scanned my surroundings. The room was at once impeccable and ravaged. Stark white walls clashed with holes and scrapes on them. It looked like the room had been blown up, and was in the process of repair. Thankfully, no Metroid was in the room. There was no door, so to speak, but a large hole in the wall led into another chamber. I jumped through it into a darker room. Some lights on the walls flashed occasionally, lighting up the broken room. It was in a much worse condition than the first. I couldn't tell what was holding the room together. On the far end of a room was a large cocoon blocking the door. "How do I get past that?"

**Curl into a ball and drop a bomb.**

"What do you mean 'curl into a ball'? Aren't you supposed to _help_ me?"

**Clearly, long-term memory is not one of your myriad talents. If you curl up, you'll transform into a ball. Then, with willpower, you can increase your speed, and drop up to three bombs. Who the heck would forget **_**that**_**?**

"I was kind of busy blowing up space stations, surviving giant monsters, explosions, and dealing with you!"

**Touchy, aren't you?**

"Shut up." I curled up. I blinked, and then next thing I knew, I was floating in mid-air, looking at a round little orb. I moved towards the cocoon and dropped a bomb. With a violent flash, it exploded. Out of the cocoon came a purple bulk. I returned to normal. _SLAM_! Next thing I knew, I was pinned to the wall with a slavering jaw drooling on my shirt. It raised one of its spike-like limbs, and ran me through. I jerked. The monster leaned back, and I raised my arm. I quickly jammed my cannon into its mouth. The monster gave a muffled shriek. I fired rapidly, reducing the monster to a pile of ashes. I shakily stood up, examining the hole in my chest.

**That must have hurt, but get a grip. You're going to regenerate the missing lung. Besides, you have three others. Keep moving.**

"I don't see you getting run through," I muttered, but I went through the door into a jungle-like area, before stopping short.

"Whoa," I breathed. A majorly cute girl was standing there. She had blue eyes and blond hair. There was a small hairclip on the left side of her head, and she was wearing a red collared shirt and Capri pants. She was also stroking several Metroids. I wasn't sure which was stunning me more, her or the Metroids.

**Man, you're totally digging this chick. And really, who wouldn't?**

The girl rapidly turned around. Her eyes widened slightly upon seeing me, then she ran off into the jungle, the Metroids circling her head.

**That's going to be the summary of your love life.**

"Oh, shut up. Come on, let's follow her!" I exclaimed. I dashed after her, dodging carnivorous plants, spiked turtle like creatures, and floating spores. I chased the girl to a hatch. She ran through it, and then the hatch closed. It flashed red, signaling a lock. I slammed my fist against the door.

**That's the first, and definitely not last, girl who's going to do that to you.**

"And I suppose you'd have better luck?"

**I've scored with ten times more chicks than your IQ. Oh wait, I forgot. Anything times zero is zero.**

"Aww, tell me when you score with a chick. For now, just tell me if there's any way to get past this door."

**Maybe there's hope for you yet. Well, let's see. Do you want to hit Mach Three, blow something up, or go Solid Snake?**

"I don't know who Solid Snake is, so, let's go with the Mach Three," I said.

**Find a straight route to this door about three seconds away. After two, you'll hit Mach One, just enough to bust through the door.**

"And how come this hasn't happened before?"

**Because it's thought-controlled. But right now, I'm in charge of your powers.**

"I'm really considering feeding myself to one of those plants if you're in charge." With those words, I moved back, and then broke into a run. I charged at the door, and then, just before hitting it, time slowed down. It felt like everything just slowed, including me. I suddenly heard a muffled explosion.

**Keep going. That's the time lag from the speed boost. If you slow down now, the only thing breaking will be you.**

My pace feeling slowed, I collided with the hatch. To my surprise, it disintegrated under my touch.

**Your super speed just annihilated that hatch.**

I kept running, into a dark corridor. Ahead, a shaft rose up through the ceiling.

**Crouch when you're under the shaft. Then jump straight up.**

"When did you get so helpful?" I muttered. The shaft loomed ahead.

**When I wanted to avoid becoming a black stain on the wall.**

I reached the hatch and crouched. I looked up and saw an elevator sluggishly rising upward.

**JUMP!**

I hopped up, but gravity didn't take hold. I rose upwards, my pace far quicker than the elevator's. I smashed right through it. As I went through the elevator, I saw the surprised face of the girl. Then I went up. I looked up, eyes straining against the G-forces, to see a wall. "Now what?"

**Raise your arm out. That should provide a buffer to keep you from getting destroyed. **

I quickly threw out an arm in front of me. _BAM!_ I struck the ceiling and realized that I was falling down at normal speed. But considering that the elevator was a good hundred feet below me, that was still going to hurt. The hole in the elevator grew larger and larger. I braced myself. _CRUMP!_ I opened my eyes, only now realizing I had closed them. I stared into the eyes of a very surprised looking girl.

**Try to get down before the blood rushes to your head.**

"Well, this sucks," I muttered, realizing that I was stuck in the hole I had created.

**Even more than your attempts to mock me, which is saying something.**

The girl quickly put on a calm demeanor, and then she yanked a gun from her pocket and aimed it directly at my face. She smiled.

**That probably won't kill you, but it will hurt. A lot. So you should probably convince her to lower the gun.**

"Why don't you put the gun away?" I asked, trying to show an equally unconcerned face.

"Because I'm going to enjoy feeding you your own medicine," said the girl.

"Uh, what medicine?"

"You're new to the Federation, then? Your handlers did the same thing to me. I barely survived, even with my babies feeding me energy. But there isn't going to be anything for you. So, any last words?"

"Yes. I'm not part of the Federation! What the heck would make you think that? I have a tail, for God's sake!"

"_SQUEE!"_ A Metroid hovered out from behind the girl. I swallowed, hoping it would think I was its cousin and not drain my life energy. The Metroid floated nearer and nearer. Then, it gave another little squeak, and perched upside-down on my head. The girl was just as startled as I was. "Interesting. Jennifer seems to like you."

"Wait. You named a Metroid _Jennifer_? What the heck is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong with _you_ seems a better question. After all, you've nearly achieved 94 percent transparency, you have triangular wedges appearing out of your arms, the reason you've only achieved 94 percent transparency is the mottled scale pattern covering your body, and the tail goes without saying. Are you an undiscovered species?" Her tone suddenly changed from sadistic to eager. I blinked.

"No. I'm, um…"

"An amalgamation of several different species?"

"How did you know? And why'd you go from trying to blow my face off to studying me?"

"I enjoy studying interesting creatures. How do you think I've become a surrogate mother to the Metroids? But wait," she said, studying me, "why does Jennifer seem to adore you?"

"I don't-"

"Don't lie. We both know that you're part Metroid."

**At this point, you might as well publicize that fact. Maybe you can write a memoir, ****The Chronicles of Narni****- oh wait, wrong book. Call it ****The Metroid View****!**

_THOOOM!_ "What was that? Did you have something to do with that?" asked the girl suspiciously. I shook my head. The girl suddenly began to stare off into space. I took the opportunity to wriggle free of the hole. Jennifer moved just in time to avoid getting squished between the floor and me. I managed to get down and was rubbing my back when the girl came back to reality. She leveled her pistol down at me, but then holstered it. The girl yanked me to my feet. "Come on. We have to stop a threat." The girl punched some keys into the elevator keypad. We shot downwards.

"What threat?" I asked.

"The X parasites have blasted a hole in the ship. They are now swarming it. My Metroids cannot hold them all off alone. We need to lock down the biomes so that the X cannot infect any creature onboard."

" How do you know? And why do I need to help?"

The girl produced a Freeze Gun from somewhere and grinned. "I think you know what happens to Metroids in extreme cold?"

"That's a good reason."

The elevator stopped, and the doors opened into a war zone. Metroids and X clashed inside a desert-like area. The Metroids swarmed all the X they could, while the X took several different forms, most common of which was a Samus clone. The girl hissed. "Come on! The SA-X are equipped with Ice Beams! We need to hurry; the Metroids won't last too long now!" She dragged me through the confrontation, using me as a meat shield to defend herself against the myriad blasts peppering the room.

"OW! ACK! ARGH!..." and so on as I was holstered as a meat shield by the surprisingly strong girl. Thankfully, we reached another, confrontation-free room. The girl dropped me, and I got up, rubbing the multiple holes in my body. "I will eviscerate you the next chance I get," I griped.

"If we don't lock down the biomes, there won't be a next time," she retorted coolly. "Now let's go. The Main Sector Control is just one level down." We headed through the corridor. At the end of the hall was an elevator. The girl pressed the call button. We waited for about five minutes.

"What gives?" I asked. "The elevator isn't coming." The girl started staring into space again, then returned to normal. "The elevator's been wrecked. We can't get down there."

"How do you know that?"

"Not right now."

I grabbed her arm. "How- do- you- know- that?"

She sighed. "You really don't know when to stop prying, do you? If I tell you, will you find a way to the Main Sector Control?"

"Sure."

"… I'm an android. My name is Melissa Bergman."

"That wasn't too hard."

"Now find a way to Main Sector Control."

**There's a group of Shinespark blocks below you. If you hit them with one, they'll disintegrate.**

"What's a Shinespark?" I asked, ignoring Melissa's intrigued looks.

**Sonic boost. How you blasted through the elevator.**

"Oh." Melissa cocked her head, probably wondering whom I was talking to.

"Stand back," I warned. I ran back to the other end of the hall. I began to run towards the elevator. When I was halfway down, I heard a _WHOOM_ and the time lag kicked in. I ignored it and moved towards the elevator. When I was about to smash through it, the floor underneath me vaporized, and I fell in. I landed inside a large room with a terminal. Melissa landed behind me. She ran to the terminal and punched some keys. Suddenly, there was a massive _KRAKOW _and the terminal sparked. I turned. Behind me, an SA-X had just blasted in. Melissa turned briefly and called, "Distract that thing while I repair the terminal!"

"Why am I risking my life for you? I barely even know you!"

"Freeze Gun!"

"Darn it!" I shot the SA-X. It turned away from Melissa and aimed at me. I hissed and lunged. It responded in kind. We grappled each other, and then while I was trying to drain its energy, it turned into a Morph Ball and dropped a round grenade. _PING!_ I was knocked backwards. The SA-X took the opportunity to run towards Melissa. I lunged again, stopping it from swiping at her. The SA-X went Morph Ball again, but I grabbed the ball and went Morph Ball myself. _CRUNCH!_ When I unfurled, I let the orange pancake that had been the SA-X float to the ground. It shimmered and transformed into a gigantic X with a hard shell. I couldn't get past the shell, so I randomly fired missiles at it. The X opened a giant blue eye. One of my missiles hit it, and it fired a blue beam that struck me with immense cold. I dropped to my knees, shivering uncontrollably. Fighting the numbing effects of the cold, I sluggishly got to my feet and began to shoot. It was difficult for me to fight the SA-X in my weakened state, but after sustaining some blasts, I managed to destroy the shell. I made one final, weakened leap, and touched the X. Instantly, I felt stronger.

**Sweet. You just got the Screw Attack! Da na na na na na na na na na na naaa! Now you can repeatedly somersault through the air, achieving higher and higher distances while obliterating anything you touch. Wait, where'd that come from?**

I turned to Melissa, who was punching keys. She knocked on ENTER, and we heard a voice: "All sectors in lockdown. Repeat, all sectors in lockdown."

"Thank goodness that's over," sighed Melissa. "I suppose I should thank you, but I think I'll still freeze you."

"What?" I swerved to see her aiming the Freeze Gun at me with an evil smile. I lunged to grab the gun, but she whistled, causing a couple of giant purple things to leap at me from the doorway. They pinned me down. I struggled wildly, but quickly realized this was only making my assailants hungry. I glared at the android, which strode towards me, Freeze Gun in hand.

"Since my Desbrachians have you ready for transport, I might as well tell you why. I don't trust you. This ship was a home to bioweapons just like you. I don't know who sent you, but I can't allow you to tell anybody that this ship still exists. Oh, look," she said, angling her head towards the terminal, "we've reached the FS-176 system. Now, let's see where I should drop you into reentry."

"Some thanks. Why don't you just let your purple pets eat me?" I snarled.

"Because your body fluids might cause the terminal to malfunction. Now, let's see. Not Zebes or Tallon IV. What do you think of Twin Tabula? Maybe Oormine 2? I've got it! Bilium, home to the sentient Miteralis virus. Nighty night," she said. She aimed the gun at me. I struggled harder. I saw her press the trigger, then I saw nothing.

I woke up to an unbearable heat. I could only move my eyes. I saw that I was encased in a block of ice, which was hurtling through the atmosphere of a desert planet. Flames licked at the block, which was quickly melting. Soon, the block melted, leaving me hurtling towards a mountain range with flames licking at me. I winced from the heat.

**Try your Screw Attack before you get vaporized!**

"How?" I forced out, my lips rattling through G-force.

**Think about somersaulting.**

I began to somersault through the air. The world spun around me, as an electric field crackled around me. I somersaulted towards the mountain range and blasted through one of the peaks. I landed on an outcropping and surveyed the area. Even though I wasn't in reentry, it was still incredibly hot. All I could see was desert. Above me, three moons hovered, one of them barely twenty thousand kilometers up.

**Be careful. Didn't the android say something about a sentient virus?**

"Oh s-" I was cut off as I fell into unconsciousness.

When I woke up, two birds were in my vision. "What the…" I choked out. I forced myself up. I looked around to see that I was in a small arboretum. Multiple colorful plants vied for my attention. But what won it were the two humanoid birds. One of them had plumage just as colorful as the plants; the other's was as dark as night. "I'm glad you're awake," said the first one. "We were worried that the Miteralis virus had gotten to your brain stem."

"Where is this? And who are you?"

"My name is Hylla. My friend here is called Black Voice, named for his father. We are Chozo."

**Next time: Yes, the Chozo are back! . Can Sam enlist their help to stop the galactic threat of the X?**

**It's nice to see that MB hasn't changed a bit, eh? I'm always accepting OCs. Cardcopternicole, I'm still trying to figure out how to implement Melanie Taylor in. Speaking of OCs, I am still accepting them, and always will. Send me ideas in your reviews.**

**Do you want to be able to determine the upcoming story arc of _Experiment 505_? Just hit me in a review where the plot should go. I will always be staying in Sam's point of view, though.**

**Do you have ideas for crossovers? Hit me in a review with them.**

**Don't forget to plain old read and review, though.**

**ARandomDay out.**


	16. Bird is the Word

**Get up. Don't look weak. **

I swung up off the table and looked around. I was actually inside what looked like an operating room. Behind the clear windows lay the arboretum. Hylla seemed surprised. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I feel fine," I replied, looking around. I studied the two birds. They were similar to an average Earth avian, but with humanoid bodies. Hylla continued, "Are you sure? You recovered much quicker than any other Miteralis victim we've had."

"That's good, right?"

"Maybe. Miteralis has a habit of limiting its symptoms, then resurging. Either you're completely cured, or in twenty hours, you will drop dead."

"Like I didn't have enough to worry about already."

"Now that you're awake, you should come with me to see the Elder Council. The entire planet is buzzing about you."

**That's probably not a good thing.**

Hylla led me out of the room, into the main arboretum. There were even more plants than I thought could even exist. I looked up to see a dome, outside of which was a massive moon and red skies. Hylla followed my gaze. "Impressive, isn't it?" We walked through the massive chamber. Smaller Chozo frolicked about, under the sharp gaze of elder Chozo. Hylla led me through a hatch into a metallic chamber, which contrasted with the vibrant hues of the arboretum. I looked around. Glass walls revealed Metroids in green stasis tanks, each in a different stage of their life cycle. As we walked through the chamber, my gaze was fixed on the Metroids.

**Beautiful, eh? If I'd had those things when I tried to revive Ganon, Hyrule would be devastated.**

We walked out of the room and into a large dome. It was similar to a spaceport. Chozo flowed through the room, going through different doors, each one engaged in something. Hylla led me straight through into another corridor. He stopped at an ID station. Hylla flashed something, and we walked through. I looked around. Hundreds, if not thousands, of Chozo had their eyes on me. And in front was a massive balcony upon which stood twelve Chozo in power suits similar to Samus's. But what really stole my attention was the fair-skinned man in front. I waved. He turned around and called, "Oh, hello, Sam! What've you been up to?" Then he did a double take. "Whoa. What happened to you? The scale pattern and transparency is pretty cool. And is that a Rhodian tail? Where have you been?" He turned back to the Chozo and asked, "Is this what you asked me to look at?" The Chozo seemed surprised. One of them asked, "Doctor, how do you know this being?"

"Well," said the Doctor, "how did you find him?"

"We saw a Screw Attack field above Mount Searcher. Our satellites picked this being up landing. He stood around, and then succumbed to Miteralis. We sent out a sentry drone to pick him up and return him to Chozodia."

The Doctor replied, " Guess it's time to hold up my end of the bargain, eh? All right, then. I found him in the Norion System, and enlisted his help to shut down a hypertopographic fractal generator on Earth. Yes, the prototype version. With your mental lock."

"How could he help?" asked one Chozo.

"As you can see by his appearance, he is clearly not a singular species. He is instead, a combination of several different species. Including two you may recognize. Chozo and Metroid." The entire room gasped in unison. Thousands of eyes turned on me. "Interesting," was all that the Elder Council could say. "Now, boy," they addressed me, "why are you here?"

**You need to assemble a coalition to combat the X, remember? Tell them you're here to enlist their help.**

"I need your help. The X Parasites have spread throughout the galaxy, and I was hoping you knew how to fight them." The room gasped once more. The Council spoke. "The X have returned? What of SR388? The Metroids we left there should have kept them in control."

"Until they were systematically eradicated by Samus," quipped the Doctor. The Council, in synchronization, turned scathing gazes upon him. He strode off, muttering something. Then they turned to me. "Can you prove this, boy? We have had far too many instances like this."

**Go Morph Ball. DO NOT drop a bomb. It will incinerate everyone in this room.**

"When did I start taking orders from you?" I muttered as I curled into a ball. I listened to the Chozo's gasps. I uncurled, and watched as the Elder Council stood up. "The Morph Ball can be acquired in one of two ways: absorption of Arachnus-X or by collecting a Maru Mari in a standard Power Suit. Since you wear no suit, it seems we have no other option than to believe that the X have spread. However, we will not make our move until we have seen what they will do." I groaned in exasperation. "What do you mean, you won't make a move? The Galactic Federation can't do a thing. But your Metroids can easily help turn the tides. Even while I'm arguing with you, the X have probably nabbed yet another solar system."

"We will not make a move until the threat has been proven," repeated the Council. They motioned for me to leave.

_WRAAA! WRAAA! WRAAANK! "EMERGENCY, EMRGENCY! CONTAMINATION LOCK INTEGRITY CRITICAL! CAUSE OF DAMAGE: SPECIES TYPE ZETA TWELVE! BIOHAZARD LEVEL FIVE! REPEAT, CONTAMINATON LOCK INTEGRITY CRITICAL! CAUSE OF DAMAGE: SPECIES TYPE ZETA TWELVE! BIOHAZARD LEVEL FIVE!"_ I just shrugged, accustomed to this kind of thing. The other Chozo in the room let out the (hopefully) final gasp. "The X Parasites are attacking!"

"What did I tell you? Now I'm going to have to save your asses," I admonished the Elder Council. They looked undisturbed. "Execute Biohazard Evacuation Code Seventeen!" Then, the Council spoke to me. "Do not worry. Our defenses will take care of them." As if to spite them, the room went black. I could see and hear everything going on in the room. Now Chozo were really panicking. Red lights came on, and I stared at the Council. They sighed, and said, "The main plant is disconnected. We must ask you a favor. You must return the main plant to functionality while we hold off the X with the auxiliary defenses. Please hurry, as the facility is running on a cycle battery."

"IF you agree to help me."

"It seems that the X are posing a threat, giving us no choice but to end them. Now go. The auxiliary elevator to the main plant is in the back."

I ran to the elevator and stepped in. Unbidden, it descended downwards. I waited. The elevator suddenly went dark. I looked around, and spotted a hatch in the ceiling. I blasted it open and climbed out into a large shaft.

**Care to jump?**

I looked down through the shaft and sighed. In seconds, I was hurtling downwards at terminal velocities. The wind whistled past me as I watched for the ground to come up. I glimpsed a hatchway labeled _AUXILI-_ and then I whipped by.

**It's comi-**

_BRAKKK!_ I smashed right into the ground, and groaned in pain, my voice echoing up through the shaft. I rolled over onto my back and heard a cracking sound.

**That was either your pelvis or your spine. Sit tight while it regenerates.**

"Like I have anything else to do," I mumbled. Soon, I heard something cracking again.

**That was your spine recalibrating itself. I think you're good to go. **

I stood up and looked around. There was a hatch next to me. I stepped through it and into a sweltering desert.

**You're back outside.**

I squinted and looked up. I was standing at the base of a massive mountain, whose peak was actually missing.

**Start looking for the main plant. There should be another way to it around here. Those Chozo seemed like they had a LOT of backup plans. And hurry. You're racing against two clocks now. One for the auxiliary batteries, and one for your life. The Miteralis is going to come soon.**

I cursed. But having no time to get angry at fate, I hurriedly began to search for a hatch. There were no hatches on my level, so I decided to climb. I smashed some handholds into the rock, and clambered upwards. Partway, I felt a sting. Then another. And another. Suddenly, full-blown pain shot through me. I lost my grip and fell back to the sandy ground, twitching.

**Oh hell. The Miteralis is here. It's jacking your brain! **

My vision began to flicker and spin. I woozily forced myself up, trying to fight.

**Do something!**

"I… can't…"

_WHOOM!_

My vision turned blue, and the pain disappeared to be replaced by euphoria. It was like I was getting high. I stood up. "I feel awesome!" I exclaimed giddily.

**You've achieved 100% Corruption. Now, you're just a Leviathan waiting to happen.**

"What Leviathan?"

**Leviathans' only purpose are to kamikaze a planet. Their dead husks will slowly corrupt the planet with Phazon. **

I decided to put that out of my mind. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a bluish cloud. I stepped towards it, and it floated back.

**That's Miteralis. You effectively killed the ones inside yourself when you became corrupted. Now, you're an unstoppable killing machine.**

**I know, right? It's so nice to have a body to possess. Especially a body like this.**

"What the-"

**Someone else is in your mind.**

**Dark Samus is the name. Finally, the Leviathan has grown. Now I just have to wait. And best of all, you can't do a thing about it. Hee hee hee.**

"Fate just loves to roundhouse kick my ass, doesn't it?" I muttered. "Hey Dark Link. Get a grip on the other Dark."

**No duh.**

I ignored the Miteralis and began my ascent again. It was much easier, and within seconds, I had climbed roughly three hundred feet. I scaled the mountain until I found another hatch. Thankfully, this one was labeled, in bright blue, _AUXILIARY ENGINEERING_. I tried to open it, but it was locked. In frustration, I fired a missile at it. I caught a glimpse of something blue, and then the door was completely vaporized in a massive _BOOM_, leaving nothing but a smoking crater behind. I swung into a blue hallway, and went down. At the end was another door. I blew it up as well. Inside the room were multiple computer terminals. Near one was a cowering human. I walked over to her and tapped her on the shoulder. She looked up and I blinked in surprise. It was that girl from Earth, Maria Tyler or something.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be on Earth?"

"Who are you? What do you mean?" the girl asked, standing up.

"I mean, I saw you on Earth. You helped me and some friends get to that fractal generator."

"Who are you? What are you?"

"Sam, resident freak. I need to find the main power plant."

"I'll tell you where it is, but first you have to tell me just what the hell you're talking about."

"You're not Maria Taylor, are you?"

"You know my sister? She's alive? I don't believe it!"

"Celebrate later. Now tell me where the power plant is before I blast your head off!"

**Keep cool. The Phazon is increasing your aggressiveness. **

**Isn't it delicious? I can't wait to have such a powerful Leviathan under my control!**

"I run the main plant. But when the power went off, the main cooling unit shut down, causing the coolant powder to melt and flood the room!" She pointed to a window. I ran over and looked out. The room was flooded in some kind of white liquid. I could just barely make out the top of an afloraltite reactor. It was getting redder and redder as the afloraltite inside, with no coolant, slowly heated up. If left unchecked, an overheating afloraltite reactor could easily create an explosion that would remove the entire mountain range we were in from the planet. A grid of catwalks lay over the liquid. On the far end, a catwalk dipped into the coolant. The girl walked up besides me and said, "The drain controls are on the far end of the room… underneath the coolant. You'd need some kind of Gravity Suit to get down there."

I smashed the window and leaped down to the catwalks. There was no way I could see to get to the drainage controls. Just then, I heard two simultaneous walls being blown up. Into the room, on the catwalks, entered not one, but two SA-X. I grinned, eager to see what powers corruption would grant me. I swung up my arm and began to shoot. Neon blue blasts flew from my cannon, obliterating anything they touched. I easily pounded the SA-X with them. Behind me, I heard something, and then a _third_ SA-X leaped onto me. I struggled with it, trying to get it off even as the other SA-X stalked towards me. The two stretched me out, and the third aimed its cannon right at my head. Another sound came, and I braced myself for a fourth SA-X. Instead, the SA-X attacking me were launched backwards by missiles. I leaped up, and turned. Someone inside a grey, black, and orange Power Suit was shooting at them. The visor raised, and I saw the face of Black Voice staring at me. We nodded once, and then leaped at the X. They didn't stand a chance, and quickly returned to their normal states. I waved back Black Voice, and blew up the X, subsequently absorbing them.

**Gravity Suit acquired. Now the effects of almost all liquids have been nullified. You can move freely through them now, and you have increased durability. Plus, you acquired three Charge Combos: the Flamethrower, Wavebuster, and Ice Spreader!**

**Even better. A Leviathan able to absorb X. You must be part Metroid. We share a bond.**

"Get out of my head," I muttered. I turned to Black Voice. "Thanks for the save," I said.

"I did what needed to be done. Is Melanie all right?" he asked.

"And he talks. Who's… oh, it's her, right?" I pointed to the girl up in the control room. Black Voice waved up, and the girl waved back. Then she called out, "Hurry! The afloraltite reactor will melt down in twelve minutes! You need to reach the drainage controls! Black Voice, is your Gravity Suit equipped?"

He shook his head. I ignored them and dove into the coolant. Underneath, everything had a tinge of white to it. I sank like a rock to the bottom of the room. The reactor was glowing ruby now, and emitting lots of heat. I looked around, and noticed a terminal behind me. I walked over to it and tried punching some keys. The terminal sparked. I hit it. Tendrils snaked out of my fist and into the computer. It lit up, and a muffled voice spoke, "_Drain activated. Reactor levels at 75 percent and lowering._" The white liquid slowly began to funnel into the far corner of the room. I waited for the stuff to drain away, then crossed over to the reactor. It was quickly losing heat and acquiring a familiar bluish-green hue. A voice came down, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I called up. "Any way back up?"

"No. The coolant eroded the catwalks. You'll need to find another way up. I think there's a maintenance hatch somewhere down there. Look around." I scanned the room, but didn't see anything. Further investigation also yielded nothing. In frustration, I fired a missile at one wall. It exploded, and I walked through into a small laboratory.

**You seem to walk into these a lot, don't you?**

"Which Dark is that?" I thought aloud.

**Which do you think, moron? That prissy Dark calling you a Leviathan, or the real one?**

"Still not convinced," I muttered.

**Dammit, man! Did that coolant get in your ears?**

"Yep, it's you."

The laboratory was eerily familiar to the several others I had seen before. A terminal and a teleportation pod. Seeing that jogged my memory.

"Can't you open a portal to get me back up there?"

**Oh, right. Don't say a word. I was busy keeping your ass out of the fire.**

I smirked. Soon, a black portal appeared, but I was ready for it. The portal was black and windy. Luckily, I landed like a feline on the catwalks. Black Voice and the girl stared at me in surprise, but they held their tongues. A voice came on, saying, "_Reactor levels stable and holding. Reactivation of main plant commencing."_

"_Main plant back online. Hostiles detected, species type Zeta Twelve. Biohazard Level Five. Activating Level Five Defenses."_

"_Satellite strike, activated."_

"_Beta rays activated."_

"_Gamma rays activated."_

"_Drones class-Eradicator deployed."_

We stood, waiting for the X to be destroyed. But then something came over me. I dropped to my knees, clutching my stomach. I grunted in pain, and then heard a _POP_. The pain vanished, and I shakily stood up. I turned to see myself.

"What the-" we both exclaimed in unison.

"I'm you!" pointed my clone.

"Duh. What just happened? Why is a clone of me here?"

My clone shrugged. "Dude, I'm just as wigged out as you are. One sec, I'm chilling in your head, the next, I'm right here. This is totally whack."

"How old is that slang you're using?"

He shrugged.

"And what do you mean, chilling in my head?"

"Well, let's see. I'm one of your 512 programmed personalities."

"512 _programmed_ personalities?"

"Yeah. There's Psychotic, Calm, Motherly, Stupid, Brilliant-"

"Okay. And what personality am I?"

"Default, I think."

"And you?"

"I'm Tropical 3, man."

"How many Tropical personalities do I have?"

"Seventeen. You also got, like, twelve Desert, three Tundra, four Ocean, two Swamp, and."

"My day just got so weird."

My clone suddenly doubled over. He gasped out, "Oh… crap… personality defect… beta rays… ow…" With those words, he just dissolved into goop. I leaned down and fingered it. "I am really disturbed right now."

_FOOM!_ Black Voice, the girl, and I were blasted backwards by an explosion. When I staggered to my feet, a bluish portal was greeting me. It slowly drew me inwards. "The hell?" I yelled.

**I think touching your personality's physical manifestation caused an energy backlash. Either that, or the other Dark is messing with your powers.**

**Um, yeah. Go with the first one.**

"Come on! Why can't you infect that girl over there or something?" I moaned. Black Voice stood up, and I called out, "I'll be back to collect a favor!" With that, I was sucked through the portal. Inside, it was blue, with black lightning streaking everywhere. Thankfully, none of them hit me.

_FWIP!_ I flew out and landed on a metallic surface. I stood up and looked around. I was standing in some kind of base. An oddly familiar crystal was planted firmly on a pole, and was emitting some kind of bubble. Around the bubble was some kind of caustic gas, which the bubble was holding at bay. The portal closed behind me with a _THWOOP_. "Where is this?" I muttered.

**I don't know.**

**But I do. This is one of my favorite places. It's called Dark Aether.**

******Next time: Sam tries to find a way out of Dark Aether, but when dealing with the Ing, anything can happen. But can Sam turn things around and even recruit this dark civilization to his cause?**

**It's ARandomDay again. If you're averse to editorials, skip this paragraph.**

**I decided to use this chapter to speak a little about stories. The Metroid page has come along way, with 1000 stories. Sure, against Zelda or Pokemon that's not a lot, but hey, 1000! But two-thirds of that is unfinished work from the early 2000s. And I want that to end. It's a new year. Time for a fresh start. And by that, I mean a clean break. Finish the story. RigelGlyth, I'm sorry, but until your Corruption series is over and you update all of those other stories[come on, I want to read more Hallowed Moonshine], I cannot in good conscience call you the Queen of Metroid stories. And that goes for all of you out there who have unupdated stories. Minijen, Ceu Praca, etc. Come on guys! You had great starts! If you can't finish them, just delete them. I'd like to commemorate Brennan4 for this. Since its publication on December 24, Metroid: Fugitive has been frequently and consistently updated. Way to go, man. And it's a hell of a story! **

**Speaking of stories, I am always accepting OCs and arcs for the story. Hit me up with descriptions in your reviews for each.**

**See you next time!**


	17. The Dark is Rising

"Does everything you like have _Dark_ in the name?"

**Wha-No! Maybe.**

**Egomaniacal Bokoblin.**

I ignored the two and cautiously moved to the edge of the bubble. I stuck a finger out. It was like sticking a finger into hot water, or a hot tub. I stepped out of the bubble and was struck by how suddenly my vision changed. It was suddenly purple and red. I stepped back into the bubble and began to consider my options. Then I was stopped by a wave of nausea. An awful taste rose up my throat, and I rushed for the edge of the bubble just in time to puke up electric blue goop. Wiping my mouth, I stared at the goo. "Okay, Dark 2. Does this have anything to do with you?"

**Well, darn. You haven't fully adjusted yet. Oh well, give it time. You'll adjust. Maybe I'll clone you before you become a Leviathan.**

"Or maybe I'll just lobotomize myself," I muttered. "Dark One, open a warp. I want out of here."

**No can do. You're inside some kind of parallel dimension. I can warp space-time, not the boundaries of the universe. Who knows what would happen if I tried to open a warp. We could end up scattered across the universe in millions of very dead pieces.**

"All right, then. Let's find us a way out of here." I stepped past the crystal, and then stopped. On a hunch, I grabbed the crystal and put in the pockets of my [thankfully] unharmed shorts. The bubble began to move with me firmly at the center. With that, I began to explore the area. I walked through a hatch behind me into some kind of manufacturing plant. It was a really large, open-ceiling room. Catwalks and girders spanned the upper portion, and in the center of the room was the shell of a machine. Something had attacked it with extreme prejudice and a possible hatred of all things electronic. I approached the ruined hulk. Further inspection proved that unless it got a complete overhaul, it was unlikely to do anything more than oxidize. Looking past the shell at the guns, I noticed a hovering object floating near them. I walked over to it. The object looked like a 21st century style spacecraft shrunk down. It was emitting a low hum.

**That's the Annihilator Beam. It was installed on that machine back there by the Luminoth to fight the Ing.**

"The who?" I asked. _KGKKR!_ I whirled around to see the hulk of metal rising up. "The hell?" I exclaimed. The machine floated in the air, pieces of metal flying around it like a cyclone. Then it fell to the ground. I eyed it carefully, and then turned away. _WHAM!_ A bolt of energy threw me away. The machine stood up. It had a new paint job, a dark black.

**I think now is a good time to start shooting.**

**Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Pound Quadraxis into scrap metal!**

"That's what it's called? How do you know that?"

**If I tell you how to beat it, will you stop asking me questions and start making things go BOOM?**

"Um, sure. Now how do I stop it?"

**Climb that beauty and blow out its circuits!**

"What? How am I supposed to climb that?"

A massive mechanical limb slammed down, barely missing my head. I swallowed and grabbed onto the foot. Quadraxis released a sound similar to a distorted roar. It began to flail the leg I was on like it was engulfed in plasma. I swung around it like a simian on a tree. I began to climb up. The climb wasn't really that long, but it was incredibly arduous. Once I reached the main body, Quadraxis did something unexpected. It bent its legs inward and began to spin like a top. The rotations flung me off, and Quadraxis seized the opportunity and began pounding me with some kind of rapid-fire energy beam.

**Aw. That didn't work! Meanie Quadraxis!**

**This insane woman is giving me a headache. And I don't even have a head!**

"Why don't I just Screw Attack up to its head?"

There was an audible silence coming from my cranium, punctuated by my grunts of pain as Quadraxis filled me with machine gun fire. In desperation, I curled into a Morph Ball and rolled off into a corner. Quadraxis bellowed, swiveling its head, just as one of the Darks came back on.

**That's… a pretty good idea. But first, hang back here while the holes seal up.**

I uncurled and crouched down, waiting to regenerate after that assault. In no time, I was fighting fit again. Quadraxis never had a chance as I ripped through its processing unit in the Screw Attack. Behind me, the machine tottered and collapsed. "That machine is totally screwed," I quipped.

**Great Triforce. That joke was almost as bad as being stuck inside the Sacred Realm.**

"SKREEE!"

"What the-" A black hulking thing slammed into me, knocking me down. I struggled fiercely with it. The monster looked like a slug on legs. A massive, blood red eye leered at me underneath spiky dreadlocks. It hissed and raised a limb to stick me like an Eprian. I rolled, startling the monster. It recoiled, enabling me to get to my feet. I began to shoot at it. A purple beam in the shape of a sine wave zipped out and hit the fiend, which reeled as electricity crackled along its hide.

**Huh. The Wave Beam was activated. Try the Wavebuster.**

"How?" I questioned as I dodged my opponent's swipes.

**Try to fire a missile and your beam at the same time.**

I summoned the missile rack and tried to shoot both my beam and missiles at the creature. The missile rack retreated, and my arm began to glow violet. A large purple orb appeared at the tip of the cannon.

**Charge Beam activated. Release!**

I let fly the beam, but instead of a large purple blast, a stream of violet electricity arced out and struck the monster. It roared in pain, stumbling around as electricity zipped along it. I held the current steady as the creature flailed wildly in a vain attempt to free itself of the purple energy.

**Release the beast!**

As soon as the electric tether was gone, the monster was violently flung away, pulsing in a purple glow. I was amazed.

**Yeah. Wavebuster kickback!**

"Was that really a good thing?"

**In my experience, it's best not to stop until the foe is clearly dead or out of the way. I turned my back on Link's corpse this one time in the Water Temple. I turn around to gloat and he's swinging a fricking hammer in my face, courtesy of a fairy. But that's unimportant. Grab that Annihilator Beam.**

The spaceship-shaped object was still floating there. I stepped over the hulk of metal that was Quadraxis. "You're sure this thing won't get up again?"

**Positive. Or should I say, negative.**

"Is that yes or no? Forget it." I touched the Annihilator Beam. My cannon changed, as the Beam disintegrated into tiny particles, which were absorbed into my arm. The cannon began to glow silver.

**Fire away.**

The cannon emitted a muffled _WHUMPH_ as it launched multiple little triangular projectiles, each traveling at supersonic speeds. "Sweet!" I exclaimed. I tried firing again, but was rewarded by a click. "The heck?"

**That Annihilator Beam is secret Luminoth tech, so you can't fully integrate with it, necessitating ammunition dumps. Search the Quadraxis for some.**

I ripped open a chunk of the robot and was rewarded with pulsing sacs.

**That's it. Just stuff it into your arm. Or swallow it.**

Deciding to do the former, I jammed as many ammo dumps as I could into my cannon. Each one vaporized in, until finally the Quadraxis was out of ammo dumps.

**Running ammunition checks… Okay. Your ammunition gauge is at 10,000. This is at least 40 times as much as Aran could hold. I wonder why she didn't search for ammo dumps in this thing? Who cares! Anyway, in case you run out, ammo stations will fill it up, or you can find it in the energy traces of corpses.**

On cue, a numerical reading appeared in the corner of my vision: 10000/10000.

"Nice," I whistled appreciatively.

**Shoot that crystal in your pocket.**

I pulled out the crystal and gave it a shot. Automatically, it gleamed even brighter, and the protective bubble around me expanded almost exponentially. I walked away from Quadraxis. In an overhang on the far end of the arena, I shot a greyish door and walked through into a laboratory. Behind me, the doors sealed. I cursed, looking around. The lab seemed built for organic experiments, with gene diffusers, an operating table, several monitors, and something inside a stasis tube on the far side. Since the doors were sealed by a biohazard lock, I moved cautiously across the room to look into the stasis tube, only to groan when I saw what was in it: a miniature version of that purple dragon calling itself Ridley, only with a sweet ebony shade and small arm spikes.

**It must be part Metroid.**

Next to it was a terminal that was flashing. Thinking that it could unlock the doors, as there was no discernable biohazard, I hacked into the terminal. The screen displayed a file, which I opened:

_Subject status R1DL3Y:_

_Day 64_

_The subject has been successfully grown to adulthood. However, a genetic defect stunted its growth. In spite of this, spirits are high, as we can easily give it a hormone boost. Some of our guards have questioned the sensibility of having a research lab on Dark Aether. They were promptly shot, although, I do agree with them. It may be for security reasons, but now that there are two Hunters stalking these two planets, it may not be enough. But that is not the point. High Command is very pleased with our progress. Since Meta Ridley was lost on Tallon IV, our efforts to clone the original Lord Ridley with augmented capabilities have been incredibly successful. Perhaps we can gain more resources, which are currently being funneled to the Experiment 505 Omega project on the homeworld. We are unsure as to why the clone is colored in hue # 236. On an unrelated note, two more guards were found asleep on sentry duty. They were promptly thrown off of the Sanctuary Fortress._

_Day 65: Disaster struck. After a massive earthquake, we rushed outside to find that the portal to the home dimension was gone. This spells doom for us, as returning to the home dimension was the only way to escape the Ing. We are doomed, but we will keep working on the Lord Ridley project. Our efforts shall not be in vain. Perhaps someone will come across it and free it, or it shall awaken and free itself. Glory to the Space Pirates!_

That was the end of the log. I looked at it, then up at the tube. The creature inside didn't look like it had ever set foot outside its containment tube. Plus, if I released it, the biohazard locks might deactivate. Or the Ridley clone would try to eat me, but I was confident that I could handle it, especially with my new weapons. After some more clicks, I found an option: _Release Subject R1DL3Y? Y/N_

I pushed the _Y_ button, and with a hiss, the tube opened. The Ridley clone burst out and landed. I aimed my gun. It ignored me for a few seconds, calling out," Isaac? Queenie? Garet? Anyone?"

Nonplussed, I lowered the gun. This thing seemed more confused than deadly. Then it turned and saw me. "You! What did you do to me? Isaac? Queenie? Even Garet?"

"How should I-" The clone cut me off by lunging. I ducked underneath its swipe and began to fire the Annihilator Beam. _KOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKO!_

"Ow! Uncle! Uncle!" it cried out, pinned by the sheer speed of my assault. I stopped firing, and blew on the cannon, keeping it out. The clone weakly picked itself up. "Owwww… Thanks for not killing me, I guess. But what did you do to my friends?"

"How should I know? I just woke you up from that tube!"

It looked back for a minute, and then returned to me. "What _are_ you? You look like some kind of dragon boy! But the color shade is cool. The silver, black, and red looks good on you."

I looked down at myself. It was true. My torso was metallic chrome. My tail and lower body were in a midnight black. But there was no red. "What red?"

"On your face, and arm-spikes."

_HISSS!_ Another of the slug things that I had fought off with the Wavebuster randomly interrupted our conversation. Upon reaching the bubble, it stopped and hung back.

"Stand back!" I warned the clone. It obediently moved. "Switch to the Wavebuster!"

**On it.**

The cannon glowed purple. I summoned the missiles and fired. A purple orb appeared at the end of my cannon. Just as I was about to release the slug hissed, "Wait! Wait! Don't shoot! I'm friendly!"

I lowered the cannon and answered, "Give me one reason why."

" I'm really interested in you light world creatures. Besides, it sucks in Dark Aether. Nobody understands or accepts me. No matter that I figured out how to infect mechanical objects or invented the first artificial light portal. What do I get in return? I get demoted. To Ing Cache status. So I have to get by on only one infection per week while the other Ing enjoy the fruits of MY labor. By the way, I watched you beat the dark matter out of Null. Nice one. I always hated his guts."

"Yeah. Anyway, if you help us find a way out, we'll take you with us."

"We will?" exclaimed the Ridley clone.

I glared at him, causing him to backtrack and mutter, "Yeah, we will."

"Oh thanks! My name is Zeno. What's yours?"

"Sam."

"Darkfire. But call me-"

"NO! I am _not_ calling you Dark!" I exclaimed. Zeno and Darkfire stared at me confused. I ignored them and continued talking. "All right, Zeno, do you know a way out?"

"I can build a portal to the light world."

**If he's this advanced, we should talk to the rest of his species. We might be able to convert them to our cause. **

I sighed and asked, "Zeno, have you heard of an X Parasite?"

"No. Well, maybe," he admitted. "What do they look like?"

"Um, they're these floating blobs of goo in several different colors. They infect things, then cause them to blow up and take their form."

"Oh yes! We know of them. They are unable to touch our extra-dimensional forms, and are not very resistant to the atmosphere, forcing them to take shelter inside crystal hovels. The X can leave the hovels, but only for an hour at most before being eroded by the air. We would leave them to die, but in the short time they have been here, they are actually starting to adapt. We have seen what they can do. Once, a Sandbat colony was living inside a crystal hovel. One parasite wiped out the entire colony in a matter of seconds; whereas it takes even a Hunter Ing two minutes to kill every single one, as there are so many. Because of this, and because they are adapting to the air, we are forced to watch as they grow closer to the ability to destroy us. And we cannot even do anything, because the light crystals are death to Ing."

**That gives me an idea. Tell Zeno that you want to strike a deal with the Ing. You kill off the X parasites, and in exchange, the Ing will help you in the normal dimension.**

"Okay. Zeno, I want to make a deal with your species. I can get rid of the X for you, if your species agrees to help me fight them in the normal dimension."

The Ing stroked itself with a claw, almost like it was rubbing its chin in consideration. "Hmmm," it said, "it may be worth a shot. Of course, I might get killed for it, but it can't hurt to try. All right, dragon-boys. Let's go."

Zeno suddenly melted. The Ing puddle slithered towards the locked doors. It slid through them, and a moment later, the doors opened with a solid Ing behind. Darkfire and I walked through. Zeno led us through winding metallic hallways. Finally, we stopped before a massive gate, placed in which were red orbs being orbited by black rings. Zeno stepped on a pedestal, and we followed him on. The pedestal rose upwards into a large arena. Darkfire and I looked around. Several other Ing were perched in the stands. Upon seeing us, they leaped. Darkfire and I readied ourselves. Then, the Ing tried to halt. They stopped right at the edge of the bubble. Zeno hissed, "Lower the bubble!"

"How!" I hissed back.

"Throw it away. Just do it!"

I tossed the crystal back down the way we came. Once the bubble was gone, the Ing swarmed again. They melted down, and the puddles leaped on us. My vision went very murky, as I struggled against the crushing weight of the fluids.

**Activating Hypermode!**

_PHOOM_! My vision turned blue in a great explosion

**Yay! Phazon! Sweet sweet Phazon! It's like candy! Speaking of candies, I like hard candies! Not soft ones like these Ing. I don't like soft candies!**

**Shut up, woman!**

The Ing liquids were blasted off of me, splattering. Upon going splat, they reformed and hissed angrily, "ZENO! What have you done!

The Ing circled us, hissing threats. I muttered, "This does not look good."

"I know. But I have a plan. If we can get them to swear a promise, we effectively have them in our control. We Ing are very honorable."

"How will we get them to swear a promise? The only thing they'll promise is to have our guts thrown to the canines!"

_SKKREEK!_ The question was answered when the sky was darkened. We all looked up to see a massive horde of X descending. The Ing screeched angrily, to which the X responded by flinging one of itself at them. The X struck an Ing, which laughed before exploding. Upon seeing this, the Ing screeched louder, but more high-pitched. Zeno looked thunderstruck. He gasped, "The X have evolved faster than we projected!"

An Ing screeched at us, "HELP!"

**Tell them only if they agree to follow Zeno's command. **

"I'll help."

"THEN HELP!" the Ing screamed, dodging X and trying to fight back.

"If you put Zeno in command."

"Me? What can I do?" exclaimed Zeno.

**Tell him that he's the only Ing smart enough for the job. I can tell. He's hiding military precision.**

I quickly relayed the words to Zeno. He nodded once, filled with confidence. The other Ing screeched, "WE SWEAR! JUST HELP US, DAMN YOU!"

I looked at Darkfire. "Come on. Attack!"

"What? But I'll get blown up!"

"No you won't. Come on!" And with that, I leaped into the fray. The mass of X hissed and shied back as I advanced. Around me, the X engaged in combat with Ing began moving towards me, changing forms. I switched to the Annihilator and began firing, driving them back. Around me, the Ing gained confidence. I heard Zeno barking orders. The Ing arranged themselves into wedges, driving back the X. Then a snag occurred: my gun ran out. I hesitated, and the X took their chance and swarmed forward. Then Darkfire leapt in, screaming, "FOR QUEENIE AND ISAAC! I WILL RETURN!" The X, startled, stayed still, long enough for Darkfire to absorb a whole host of them, enabling the Ing and me to continue forcing them back, myself using the Wave Beam. Finally, I called to Zeno, "Tell everyone to step back!" He quickly relayed the order. I charged a Wavebuster and released. The electricity arced at the X, electrocuting and paralyzing them. Hundreds actually blew up due to the intense current. When there were only a couple hundred left, twitching in paralysis, I leapt into them and absorbed the whole lot. The Ing watched quietly. I landed and walked towards Zeno, telling him, "You guys owe me, remember?"

He nodded and began to talk to the other Ing: "Brothers and sisters. We have been saved by the arrival of the Phazon Dragons. Do you recall the prophecy that was foretold, long before the meteor tied these two planets together? The prophecy has come. The Plague has arrived, and with it, the galaxy's saviors. We must follow them into battle, as was prophesied millennia ago. The Ing will once more become a powerful race, no longer bound to a singular dimension. But first, we must gain the light world's trust. We all recall the Twilight War. The Metal One arrived, bearing death. We must make it so that the Metal One will bear friendship to our people. The golden age of the Ing will occur again!" With these words, he raised a claw, and the Ing simultaneously raised theirs, cheering. "But first," continued Zeno, "we must return to the world of light, where we once lived so many millennia ago. My brethren, take up your darklings. The time has come for the Ing to once again change the fate of the galaxy."

The Ing cheered once more, then turned and exited the arena. Zeno turned to me, and panted, "Wow. That was nerve-wracking. How did you know I had it in me to do that?"

"I didn't."

A few hours later, an Ing arrived with news that a new portal had been constructed. Darkfire and I followed Zeno through the metallic hallways once more. We stopped inside a domed room. Millions of dark creatures ringed a portal at the center of the chamber.

"Who are those? What are those?" I asked.

"Those are the Ing army."

An honor guard appeared near Zeno. "Our lord, the portal is ready."

Zeno turned to me and Darkfire, saying, "All yours." We walked to the portal and looked. It was a swirling maelstrom of white. "You're sure this will work?"

Zeno looked offended. "Of course. We may not be as advanced as we once were, but the Ing are still a highly advanced race."

With those words, I stepped through the portal. It was black, and far off was a bright light. I looked around, floating in space. Then I felt a strange feeling, and the next thing I knew, I was sucked off through the portal.

**It's me, ARandomDay. I'm sorry you had to wait a full two weeks for this installment. I just wasn't sure how to go about this chapter. **

**Right now, I'm not sure what to do. I can either devote a whole chapter to the Ing and Luminoth relationship, which will have Sam, Darkfire, and Zeno trying to forge diplomacy and friendship between the two races, OR I can abbreviate the above part, and have Sam meet up with L-Una and Samus again. Which do you want? Tell me in your reviews or PMs. But if I get no responses by Wed, I'll choose.**

**I'm always accepting OCs. Hit me up in reviews or PMS about them: their name, description, powers, etc.**

**Don't forget to just plain read and review, guys! **

**I'm hoping to see some updated stories on the Metroid page soon, namely Metroid Delta and Samus' Shadow.**

**ARandomDay out. See you next time! **


	18. Time Zoned Out

I landed in an open arena. Behind me, the rest of the Ing landed. We looked around. Then a shout rang out. I looked out to see a group of Luminoth, hoisting weapons, running in our direction.

What happened next would take way too long to elaborate. Suffice to say, we ended up on Aether. Due to some resentment between the Ing and Luminoth, tension between the two species was higher than the temperature of a fusion arc furnace. Zeno, Darkfire and I were forced to try and build some diplomacy between them. U-Mos, the Guardian of Aether, was incredibly distrustful of us for no reason other than that we were with Zeno. When I tried to interrogate Zeno about it, he shrugged it off, saying that there were some 'issues' between the two species. We spent about twenty-five weeks trying to forge a healthy relationship. For the first time, when an X swarm tried to attack, I was grateful. The Ing and I fought them off, earning the Luminoth's respect. Trust, maybe not, but that would come in time. With the attack behind us, I was able to convince the Luminoth to aid me in my quest. Upon hearing that I had contacted the Chozo, for some reason, they immediately agreed to my endeavor. Wondering where to go, I decided that I might as well meet up with Samus. Hopefully, L-Una would be there too. I managed to acquire a small speeder. U-Mos told me that Samus was last on Norion, so I flew off. Darkfire, preferring the lakes of Torvus, decided to stay behind.

**SPAAAAAAAAAAACE!**

"I don't care who that is, just shut up!" Someone was yelling 'space' loudly and obnoxiously, fraying my nerves. Meanwhile, the ship had just come out of an asteroid belt. A large, brown planet loomed in front of us. Surprised, I checked the instruments. They seemed to be working fine, but all of them were pointing to the large brown rock.

**Apparently, that's Norion. It looks different than you expected?**

"Yes." I stopped the speeder and examined the planet. It looked like a warzone.

**INCOMING!**

**SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!**

"Oh cr-"

An EMP bolt struck the fighter, disabling it. With no propulsion, it was dragged into the atmosphere by Norion's gravity. I fought for control of the ship as it plummeted earthwards. Just seven thousand meters from the surface, I managed to flatten the ship and coast it in for a landing. The ship plunked onto a building. I stepped out and looked around. Bolts of energy, mortars, and screams pierced the clouds. A whistling noise came, slowly getting louder. I turned and immediately regretted it.

_BOOM_! A massive mortar blast struck the speeder, annihilating it and throwing me off the building. Naturally, the building was one of Norion's tallest: The Grand Cathedral. A memorial to humanity before it had taken to the stars, the Grand Cathedral was a whopping six thousand meters tall. Of course, I had no time to admire it. A statue of a triangular head in an ancient respirator glared at me as I dropped past it. I glared back defiantly as it stayed in place.

**Look! Grab that pole and swing into the cathedral!**

A pole below me grew larger and larger. Just before I fell past, I reached out and grabbed. The whiplash nearly dislocated my shoulder. As I let go, I heard a _POP_. Then I smashed through the cathedral, landing in a bare, gray synthcrete room. I landed heavily, and clutched my shoulder.

**You dislocated it. Grab the shoulder and push it in.**

I gripped it tightly and clenched my tail between my teeth to keep from crying out. Quickly, I pushed it firmly. A wave of pain came over me, causing a whimper to escape, before vanishing. I sat down heavily, massaging the shoulder.

**SPAAAAAAACE! Wait! This ain't space! I don't like it. I'm gonna make you puke 'till we're back in SPAAAAAAAAACE!**

My vision turned blue. "I didn't ask for Hypermode!" I exclaimed, then stopped, running for the corner. I made it just in time to puke neon blue puke. I wiped my mouth, grumbling, "Maybe I should've just let myself fall." I slumped against the wall, sore and tired. The wall was surprisingly comfortable. Recalling that I had had an actual sleep only twice, even while on Aether (staying up to talk politics), I let my eyes close.

"… Is it awake?"

"How would I know, genius?"

"Calm down, Gandrayda."

I opened my eyes to stare at a Jovian, Phrygisian, and some robot, each with some kind of body armor. Reflexively, I went Morph Ball and rolled to the other side of the room, uncurling with my cannon out. "All right," I barked, "you've got three minutes to convince me that I shouldn't kill you."

"Calm down. We don't want to harm you," said the Phrygisian.

The Jovian nodded. "Who'd want to kill you, hot stuff? Reaow," she purred.

"… And the aluminum can?"

"I take offense at that! I am no can. I am a distinguished Wotan," complained the robot.

"Yeah. Okay, what're your names?"

"I'm Rundas. She's Gandrayda, and he's Ghor," said the Phrygisian.

"And the bodysuits?"

"They're Phazon Enhancement Devices, aka PEDs. But they're flashing, which means there's some Phazon around," explained Ghor.

I paused for a second, hearing footsteps. "Did you hear that?" I asked.

"Hear what?"

"Someone's coming up."

"Not just someone." A girl in an orange Power Suit was aiming her cannon at us. I sized it up. The cannon was relatively small, and unembellished. Based on my limited observations of Samus's cannon, I could tell that the gun was set to its weakest. Knowing this, I smirked. "You're right. It's no one."

The girl glared at me. "Want me to fire?"

"Want _me_ to fire?" My cannon came up, with missiles included. Everyone gaped. "That's what I thought."

"Touché."

"Yeah. So, what's your name?"

"What's yours?"

"Sam. And yours?"

"You can call me Agent Z."

"I think Z is fine. But I doubt Samus would name her daughter, or clone, that."

The girl blustered, "What are you talking about?"

"Oh please. You look exactly like her. Besides, I know Samus. We might not be friends, but I doubt she has too many."

The girl began to size me up. "All right. You and your friends can come. Rundas, Ghor, Gandrayda, right? And before you ask, no, Samus never told me about you."

The girl turned and blasted a hole in the wall. She glanced back at us briefly. "Can't jump? Then see you-" I was already falling. I rotated onto my back and looked up at the four figures.

**Before you go splat, go Morph Ball.**

**SPAAAAAAAAACE! I want cake! No lie!**

I curled into a Morph Ball and bounced off of the ground. Upon uncurling, I watched the others land in various fashions. Z walked up to me and hissed, "Nice moves. But don't _ever_ steal my thunder again."

We were led through the ravaged streets into an abandoned hangar. In the far corner, Z crouched down and flipped a switch. A panel slid open, and she led us through into a hallway. She took us down to a large keypad-locked hatch. Z tried to punch some keys, but nothing. She sighed. "Password's changed. We'll have to wait."

"Step aside." I brushed Z out of the way and hacked the terminal.

"What the hell came out of your fist?" asked Ghor.

"Something useful," came my reply.

We walked into a large control room and I found myself staring down the barrel of a cannon.

"Hi Sammy," quipped Gandrayda.

"… I've gone insane. Figures that it would happen now."

"Yeah, you're not insane. Believe me."

"Mo-Samus, are you okay?"

"Samus, I'm pretty sure you're not insane. I can see them too," noted the Luminoth.

"My calculations state that while there is an 0.0003% chance, based on your brainwaves, that you _are_ insane, it is still an 0.0003% chance," stated Ghor.

Samus rushed in and embraced them. "It is you! But how? I killed you myself!"

"Well, not quite. But it was painful. But yeah, we really don't know what happened. First we're being absorbed into Dark Samus, and then we wake up with this dragon-human thing," admitted Rundas. Samus stepped back and turned to me. "Figures it would be you. How the hell do you do that? And speaking of which, what the hell happened to you?"

"Long story short-"

"The whole story. Kid, you've been gone for fifteen years."

"You know this thing, Samus?"

"You could say that. Or you could say I delivered a successful Space Pirate experiment to Norion. Now, what the hell have you been doing, kid?"

"First off, my name's Sam. As for what's been going on, let's see. I ended up on some backwards planet where I was told that my destiny was to stop the X. Around there, a voice popped into my head. Then, I ended up onboard a ship with a paranoid android, who thanked me for saving her ship from X parasites by freezing me and throwing me into reentry. I landed on Bilium, where I met a species called Chozo, who agreed to my little crusade after I saved them from X parasites also, in the meantime becoming something called a Leviathan, and getting yet another voice in my head. Then I ended up in an extradimensional world called Dark Aether, where I recruited another species called Ing, and who helped me fight off X parasites and who helped me recruit the Luminoth to my cause. They lent me a speeder to get here, which was subsequently blown up by an EMP mortar. Sound crazy? It is. Now, what's been going on with you?"

"Voices in your head… can't say I believe that one. Meanwhile, the galaxy's gone to pot. The Federation is dead, replaced by my Coalition against the X, and some religion revolving around the X called Unitology. Added to that, the Space Pirates made a comeback, the X are growing an army, and the Krikens are conquering more and more planets. The Coalition is trying to stop the latter three and return galactic civilization to normal."

"Wow," said Rundas.

"No. We're low on supplies. Our funding planets aren't sending us supplies. We need more planets."

"In case you weren't listening," I butted in impatiently, "I have three planets and three species willing to assist us."

" I heard that. But the Luminoth are notoriously aloof, as S-Ora here can tell you. And as for the Chozo, they ascended to a different plane of reality decades ago."

I went over to the communications terminal and got it to broadcast to Aether. Soon, U-Mos' face appeared onscreen.

"Ah, Chozo Hatchling. I see that the Moth has arrived safely."

"The who?" asked Samus.

"The Moth. The human child with a tail."

"And why is he called the Moth?" questioned Samus. "You know what, I don't care. Just tell me. Are you really backing this kid up?"

"Yes. The recent near invasion by the Torrent has shown us that we must take the offensive."

"All right, U-Mos," I interrupted, "if you're backing me up, can you start by dropping supplies into Norion? We need them."

Samus eyed me for a moment, before nodding.

"Very well. Hatchling, Moth, may the Light of Aether shine upon you." With that, U-Mos cut the connection.

"Now, do you know the frequency of Bilium?" I asked.

"Frequency? What are you talking about? Bilium has no frequency," she responded.

"I think I can find one. Dark?"

**Yeah. Here, give me a second to link with your mind.**

"What?"

"Ah, the Moth has appeared." A Chozo was onscreen. "Hatchling, it is a blessing to see you again."

I looked over at Samus. She was staring fixated on the screen. I thought I noticed something drip from her eyes. "It… is good to see you too."

"Hang on, what just happened?" I asked.

**I linked with your neural network to find Bilium's frequency. It stunned you.**

"Since you are talking to us, I can only assume that you need supplies and troops. Well, don't worry. We have a lock on your Omega Suit and are sending a cruiser to you as we speak. You have the Moth to thank for that. Now, how have you been? I see that you have offspring. Who is the father?"

"Not a good time. I'll tell you later. But where have you been for the last century? I thought you were all dead!"

"Not quite. Hatchling, please forgive us. We were forced into isolation so that you could help carry out part of the Great Prophecy."

"Part?" Samus interrogated.

"Yes. Part. Let me start from the beginning. The Great Prophecy states that the Torrent shall be freed of their isolation and ravage the universe. Here, it branches. Either the Torrent consumes everything, or a Moth appears, rallying the universe to fight back. The creature you know as Sam is that Moth."

"So how did I fill part of that prophecy?"

"The Moth can only be reborn from the ashes of the Worm."

"The… worm… Oh, God. Are you telling me that this kid is the reincarnation or something of Dark Samus?"

"Technically. And thankfully, the Moth will not retain any of the psychotic tendencies of the Worm."

"Yeah, I think you're wrong about that. The 'Worm' is in my head, with a bad case of insane."

" I doubt that. I wish to talk to you further, but now is not the time. Moth, Hatchling, you must recruit more worlds to fight the Torrent. Begin your quest with the Kriken Empire. Speak to the Level Five Queen in Hive 1-A, and tell her that Dragonfly sent you. Hatchling, it is wonderful to see you again. Good-bye, and good luck!" With that, the transmission ended. Ghor, Rundas, Gandrayda, and Samus all examined me apprehensively. I stood my ground. Finally, when I was tired of the silence that had developed, I flipped them the bird and said, "Are we really dwelling on my being reincarnated or something when we have bigger problems to deal with?"

Samus quickly took control. "Right. All right, kid, we need to talk to the Krikens. You go. Take Agent Z with you. Rundas, Ghor, Gandrayda, I need you to help me. We need to raid some Unitologist planets and convert neutral ones. Up for it?"

"You know, it Samus. Piece of cake, right? Justice prevails and all that stuff," accepted Rundas.

"You're not doing any raiding without me, Sammy, baby," included Gandrayda.

"It's good to be back!" said Ghor.

Samus turned to me. "Okay, kid. S-Ora will give you a starfighter with the coordinates to the Kriken Hive Z-3. That's the best we know of their location. On the way, stop by Research Station Ravenholm. Some of our scientists were building new weapons when we lost communications with them. I want you to check it out. Ravenholm should be in your flight path."

"All right," I sighed. "Come on, Z, let's go."

"Okay, you know the controls on a Yavin- class starfighter, right?" asked S-Ora. "Yeah," I lied.

**Don't know? Just hack it and control it mentally.**

"All right. Sam, Agent Z, may the Light of Aether shine upon you!" He left the hangar, and a voice crackled to life over the radio. "Cleared for takeoff in three…two…one… LIFTOFF!" I jammed my fists into the controls, and waited while the tendrils took over. Then, I thought about taking off, and the thrusters responded. We took off and flew out of Norion's atmosphere.

**All right, just set it to autopilot. I really don't want to fly with someone who doesn't know where we're going.**

I let the ship go to autopilot, and reclined back.

After a quick hyperspace jump, Research Station Ravenholm came into view.

"Holy crap," I breathed.

"What the hell happened there?" whispered Agent Z.

Ravenholm was a massive wreck, split into two. On the left side of the station, some kind of organic mass bulged. One the right, electricity arced.

The ship drew closer to Ravenholm, and we touched down on what seemed to be a twisted antenna.

"Got a helmet?" I asked. I turned to Z to see a red helmet encasing her features.

"Yeah," she confirmed.

With that, I opened the hatch, and we jumped out onto the antenna, preparing ourselves for whatever lurked inside Research Station Ravenholm.

**Next time: Sam and Agent Z explore the station, which is completely dead. But while everything plus the ship is dead, that doesn't mean something isn't lurking...**

**Sorry for the slow update. I'll try to update quicker next time.**

**Angry about Samus having a daughter? I thought it would be cool to expand upon the 'if Samus is part Metroid, what happens if she passes through beta rays?' thing, subtly.**

**I only got ONE review for the last chapter? Come on, guys! I thought you liked this story! Review! Please?**

**I just wanted to applaud Cygnus Mues for Parasite Part Two: Traitor.****Her story is quite good.**

** In the meantime, RigelGlyth, where's the next chapter of Hallowed Moonshine?**

**Volition, I want an update to Metroid Delta! Whatever happened to updates every Thursday(while 'Wolf and a Kid' is good)?**

**And one last thing: I recently added a feature to my Profile called 'What's Hot and What's Colder than Liquid Nitrogen' , where I review popular fanfics across the Nintendo pages. I might occasionally review other game fanfics. **

**Still accepting OCs, guys! Just send in a name, description, and power in your reviews or PMs.**

**ARandomDay out. Peace!**


	19. We Don't Go To Ravenholm

My back began expelling air as my Combat Visor popped up, now with an oxygen readout in the corner. Carefully, Agent Z and I walked along the antenna. She glowed purple, which somehow enabled her to stick to the antenna, while I had to stab my tail into the metal every few feet to secure myself. Z looked over at me, and made some hand motions. I shrugged. We made it across the antenna to an air lock. I ushered Z in, then closed it. The lock repressurized, and the inner door swung open. I took in fresh gulps of air, but for some reason, while the oxygen readout vanished, my Combat Visor didn't. Z's voice came through from the helmet: "This station is running on auxiliary power."

"How could you tell?" I asked.

"Space stations usually have external gravity fields, which shut down in case of an emergency. Since the antenna wasn't gravitized, it means that the main silo is offline. The auxiliary power is running to enable life support. Don't you understand hand signals? And how do you breathe in space?"

"No, and I don't know," I answered. "Now come on. We need to look for survivors."

"Already on it," replied Agent Z, punching buttons on the computer. "Hmm… okay. The Habitation Deck is about one level below us. We might be able to find survivors there."

"Of course."

"What the-? Who's there?" Z and I questioned simultaneously.

"You are Zoe, Samus' daughter, correct? And you must be Sam, the successful Pirate experiment."

"And who're you?" asked Zoe, now annoyed, probably because the voice had confirmed her identity.

"My name is Adam Malkovich. I am an AI that was sent to this research station for debugging."

"I remember you!" I exclaimed.

"You do?" asked Zoe and the computer.

"Yeah. When I first met you, you were a bit paranoid. The next few times I met you, you were simultaneously angry, depressed, and sarcastic. If I recall correctly, you were also wishing you had committed suicide."

"Well." Adam sounded rather abashed. "As you can hear, I am clearly back to my usual self. Agent Z, please download me into your helmet."

"I guess," said Z as she downloaded Adam.

"I will be broadcasting to both of your frequencies," said Adam.

"Both?"

"Your helmet emits one frequency, and Sam's tail emits radio waves. Effectively, I can transmit to both of you."

"How weird," observed Zoe.

"You think?" I snapped. "Okay, Adam, we're heading to the Habitation Deck to look for survivors."

"I am also detecting bio-signs in the Research Division. However, the Research Division is on the side of the ship that is covered in some sort of mass."

"Okay. Zoe, you head for the Habitation Deck. I think they'll react better to you than me. I'll find a way to the Research Division."

"It's Agent Z!" she snapped over her shoulder, before she walked out through a hatch. I spared a glance at the computer to see where the Research Division was, before walking out through another hatch.

"Dammit!" I yelled.

**You're lost, aren't you?**

"Yes."

_HREEE!_

**What was that?**

"How should I know?" I groused. I stormed into another room, and saw an airlock in the far corner. To the Research Division? I heard something skittering, and whipped around, my cannon aimed. Nothing was there. I lowered my cannon.

_THUD._

_THUD._

_THUD._

I turned and walked out of the room, searching for the source of the sound. As I walked down the halls, the thudding grew louder. I walked into another room and saw a woman covered in blood, slamming her head against the walls. "Hey!" I called. "What are you doing?" The woman didn't stop, instead beginning to laugh. As I approached, something about her became different. As soon as I was within five feet of her, she collapsed into a skinless corpse. The muscles and organs were still in the body, as well as the skeleton. I stopped short, horrified. I carefully knelt down and rolled the corpse over. Her head was visibly dented. When I looked at the wall, words were smeared in blood that hadn't been there before: _CUT OFF THEIR LIMBS_ and _WE DON"T GO TO RAVENHOLM_ in dark red. I swallowed. Something was onboard this ship, something dangerous. In the corner, I heard something beep. I got up from the body and examined the beeping object. It looked like a gun, with energy dumps, and two pincers on the barrel.

**That's a Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator. Looks like it's been retrofitted with some kind of energy cutter. **

"How do you know all this?"

**It's all in your head.**

I picked up the Manipulator. It felt heavy in my hands.

**Integration sequence activated.**

The Manipulator shook, before disintegrating and vanishing into my right arm. Two small pincers grew out of my right hand. I examined it closely.

**Nice. You can now manipulate gravity and fire bursts of energy. Try it out by picking up that table over there.**

I flexed my hand, and a burst of electricity jumped out of the pincers and struck the table. Rather than shattering, however, it began to float. I waved my hand around, and the table followed my movements.

_Uurrggg…_

I whipped around to see the corpse getting up. Its arms flattened out, becoming blades, and the jaw detached. I stared, shocked, as the reanimated body lunged at me.

**SHOOT THE TABLE AT IT!**

I flexed my hand, and the table hurled itself at the body, smashing it backwards with a groan. I quickly picked up the body, and activated my cannon. I switched over to the Plasma Beam and scorched off its limbs. Once the final leg was toasted off, the monster gave a final squeal before relaxing. Just to be safe, I roasted the rest of it too. Then I attempted to radio Z and Adam. I raised my tail and began to speak. "Come in, Adam. This is Sam. Repeat, come in, Adam."

"Adam here. What's wrong?"

"I just found a dead body, which got up and tried to kill me. I think there are more on this station. If you see any, shoot off their limbs. I repeat, shoot off their limbs."

"Understood. Agent Z and I are on the elevator to the Habitation Deck right now. We'll radio in when we get there. Keep looking for a way to the target. Adam out."

I lowered my tail and returned to the room with the airlock, my gravity hand and cannon primed. I stepped through the airlock, waited for depressurization, and floated out. The organic mass covering the Research Division stood out against the backdrop of space. I pushed myself across the void towards the mass. Up close, I realized that it was pulsing. Repulsed, I pushed off of a floating piece of debris towards a hatch. When I looked back at the debris, I realized that it was a body. I shuddered, and passed through the hatch, before realizing that something was wrong. The gravity was deactivated, and the airlock wasn't repressurizing. I wasn't worried about myself, seeing as I still had almost six hours of air left, but this lowered the chance that I could find a survivor. I needed to reactivate the power on this side of the station, ASAP. I blasted the hatch open, and floated through into a minefield of monsters. Upon spotting me, they opened their mouths in a silent roar, and flailed towards me. I fired a pulse that pinned them to the floor. They roared silently as I passed over them. Cheekily, I flipped the monsters the bird and went through the open hatch on the other end. When I passed through, gravity took hold, and I landed with an audible _thump_, listening as the generators whirred. Then the generators stopped whirring. For a second, I floated back up, my back expelling air, then the generators kicked in again, bringing back gravity and air. I looked around the room. It was some form of living quarters, but it didn't look like anyone was living in it. Some stains on a couch caught my eye. I turned around to see a group of monsters crawling towards me. Without blinking an eye, I fired a pulse at them. The pulse pinned the monsters to the ground and dislocated one's blade-like arm.

**Use that as a weapon.**

"What? No way!"

_HISS!_ I whipped around to see another monster in my face. I stumbled back, but it sliced at me, drawing blood. I tethered the floating arm-blade, then spun it around into the advancing monster, cleaving it in two. I paused, breathing heavily. The generators paused again and I fell upwards. Just as quickly, they came back on, and I took the opportunity to call in Adam.

"Adam, are you there?"

"Agent Z here. What's happening? Where are you? Some corpses just attacked me. I fought them off, though. What the hell do you mean, cut off their limbs? That did nothing! NOTHING, DAMMIT! I even cut off their legs and they wriggled towards me! I had to blow them up!"

"I don't know. It worked for me. Listen, I made it to the other side of the ship! It's infested-" The generators turned off again, and without air to speak, I had to go silent. They came back on and I continued, "It's infested with monsters, and the power's turning on and off."

"That's what she said," chortled Z. "Listen," she said, her tone becoming serious, " "I didn't find anyone in the Habitation Deck, just a bunch of monsters and some kind of Zero-Point Energy Manipulator."

"I found a Manipulator too. Listen, I'm going to try and stabilize the generators. Where are they?"

"Give me a second," came Z's reply. I heard some inarticulate dialogue before she spoke again. "Okay. The generators are in the south quadrant of the station. Based on where you are, I'd say, head north, and west at the first junction. From there, there should be an elevator behind one of the hatches on the left. Ride it down and the generators should be there."

"Right. Thanks."

"Good luck. I'll head back to the ship, keep it clear of monsters. Agent Z out."

I made my way to the elevator, fighting hordes of monsters while constantly adjusting to the shifting gravity. The severed arm I had repurposed came in handy, cleaving through up to three monsters at once. I managed to reach the elevator without getting killed, although I did have several gashes. Once in the elevator, I slumped down, panting from exertion. For once, I was actually feeling exhausted- and hungry. But I had no time to reflect on that, as a bunch of monsters leaped down from the upper levels. I fought them off, but took more damage than usual.

**You're slipping. You need to eat. You need to rest. If you don't, I'd say you'll collapse in about three hours. And in four, you'll die.**

"Glad… you… care…. so much…" I panted.

**If you die, I die. And I am **_**not**_** getting killed because you forgot your fricking lunch.**

When the elevator stopped, I struggled to my feet, and stumbled down the corridor, again having to contend with the surges and ebbs in gravity. I managed to reach the end of the hall. A massive eyeball glared at me. I stared. It closed its eye, then opened it, glowing. The eye released an energy wave, which blasted into me, before closing. I raised my cannon slowly, and when it next opened its eyes, I fired a missile at it, obliterating it. I staggered in through the opened hatch.

When I looked around, it was too dark to see, even with my night vision. I could hear the generators thumping on and off, mixed with a new sound. A slurping sound, like something was draining the energy from the generators.

"Hey!" I called out weakly.

The slurping stopped, and was replaced by a low, humming sound. I realized that it was some kind of demonic chuckle. "Well, well, well. So the Moth has decided to grace me with its presence. I see that my Necromorphs were unable to hold you off. I should have seen _that_ coming, after that damn engineer went and destroyed two of my markers. But no matter. I will deal with you myself. Why don't you take a good look at me…" The generators began to whirr again, and the lights turned on. I squinted, and glared up at a horrifying beast. It was like a squid, but its sole eye was located inside its fang-rimmed mouth. The beast was a sickly gray, and two tentacles drooped downwards. The monster began turning its face. "Why don't you keep looking? I'm sure that your face will be a welcome addition…"

**CAAAAKE! Don't look at the butt-ugly space squid! Skipper says no!**

**She's crazy, but she's right! That thing can steal faces if you look at it!**

"Then how the hell am I supposed to kill it?" I complained, dodging a tentacle.

"Dammit. I see your friends told me about my face-stealing ability. At least Ko got to play with the Avatar. I have to deal with you. And you don't even have the guts to look up."

**KNOCKOUT! CAAAAAKE!**

"Shut your friend up, would you?" crooned the ghost, trying to get me to look up. It whipped a tentacle at me, knocking me into the wall. I groaned, clutching my head.

"AARGH!" cried the phantom. I peeked up to see it reeling backwards. "Fowl play! Fowl play! How the heck did you throw that?"

Inspired, I randomly threw out my Zero-Point Energy Manipulator hand, latching onto something sharp. I flung it in the location of the phantom. _SHRIK!_

"AAAIRGH! DAMMIT! WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET A SAW BLADE?"

I kept throwing random objects at the monster, peppering in a few missiles from time to time. Finally, after sustaining heavy damage from its tentacles and swarms of Necromorphs, I heard, "AAUGH! MY EYE! YOU MAY HAVE WON THIS BATTLE, BUT THE WAR IS JUST BEGINNING! I WILL BE BACK! AAIRGH!" _BOOM! _When I dared to look up, the monster was gone, and the lights were on. The generators were working.

"Agent Z to Sam, come in!"

"Sam here… ow…"

"Listen, what did you do? The monsters just up and vaporized!"

"I think… ow… I killed their leader or something."

"Nice work. I think we can confirm the loss of all hands aboard Ravenholm."

"Affirmative," came Adam's voice. "I just ran a scan and detected the loss of all biosigns save you and Sam."

"Nice work. Get back to the ship."

"Affirmative… ow… Sam out." I leaned against the wall.

**You're starving. You need food, fast.**

"I think," I wheezed, "I already got that."

When I made it back to the speeder, Agent Z was there, standing in front of it. She beckoned me, and we were about to board it, when a bright light flashed. I shielded my eyes, and when I looked up, I found myself standing in a snowy area looking at three strange creatures. One of them, some kind of quadruped with a ring around its body, cocked its head. I heard a voice:

"_Great me. Mew! I thought I told you that we weren't supposed to bring the Moth here yet. Were you even listening when the Chozo informed us of their plan?"_

"What the?" I wheezed. "Who the hell are you? What the hell are you?"

The quadruped spoke to me. _"Welcome, Moth. I suppose that it's time for you to continue your journey. I am Arceus. Welcome to the world of Pokemon."_

_****_**Next time: Sam must continue the next leg of his journey on the Pokemon world, but can he get his team to even cooperate, while someone from his past appears?**

**Wow! Two chapters in under a week! I must be trying to make up for the two week delays you had to suffer through in the last couple chapters.**

**It might take a little while for this chapter to appear for reasons that must stay unknown. Rest assured that it's just to make the chapter better, though.**

**I'm always accepting OCs. Just hit me up in a review or PM about them: name, description, powers, etc.**

**Don't forget to just plain read and review! I'm shooting for 38 reviews by the time Chapter 20 is up(for obvious reasons).**

**ARandomDay out. Peace!**


	20. Oh Pokèmorph, Where Art Thou? Part 1

"Don't you mean Pocket?"

"_Well, yes."_

"Then just call it that. Ow…" My stomach released an unearthly moan.

"_Now, let me speak. Mew seems to have brought you here two chapters early-"_

"What do you mean 'two chapters early'?" I asked suspiciously.

"_Just let me talk! You are supposedly the Moth of legend, who will raise an army to fight the Torrent. To test you, my fellow Legendries and I give you this task. Accompanied by four Pokémon, you must become the League Champion in the land of Hoenn. If you can succeed, we will pledge our powers to your cause. Fail, and die. Any questions?"_

"Yes. Why didn't I get a say in this?"

"_It's more challenging this way."_

"Great. Just great. Okay. What Pokémon am I bringing?"

_Deino, Beldum, Riolu, and Larvitar._

"Where's Agent Z?"

"_She is questing in the land of you call Isshu. Kyurem is giving her the same spiel."_

"Okay, I guess. Can I have something to eat? Seriously, I'm about to collapse from starvation," I complained.

"_No. Now, Palkia will transport you to Hoenn. Dialga will set the time back by two weeks, giving you a chance to complete this challenge and continue on your way to the Kriken Empire."_

"All right," I relented, listening to my stomach-or stomachs- gurgle like volcanoes, "but can I please have something to eat?"

"_No," _said the quadruped. _"Good luck."_ With that, my vision blurred. When it cleared up, I was standing atop a large university-like building. I could see the ocean on all sides. My stomach uttered a large, low moan. I looked down to see a change of clothes. I was wearing a blue shirt, red vest, and jeans with a hole for my tail. Strapped to my waist was a belt with four Pokèballs attached. I took a moment to appreciate the new outfit, and then groaned as my stomach gurgled even louder.

**There's a Pokémon Center down there. Come on and get something to eat!**

I leaped down from the building, landing with a _thud_. Upon landing, I gritted my teeth in pain. The landing hadn't gone too well. I put it aside and limped down the hill towards the Pokémon Center. Before entering, I put a hand to my new pockets to feel something plastic: a Trainer Card with my name on it. I put the Card back in the pocket and limped into the center. Eyes turned and whispers abounded as I made my way to the nurse. She was busy with something, but gave the typical cheery reply before trailing off to look at me. The nurse quickly regained her composure and set me up with a room. I went upstairs to the hotel room and fell onto the bed. I put a hand to my Pokèballs and released the Pokémon. A Beldum, Larvitar, Deino, and Riolu appeared, looking around and then at me.

_Who is this clown?_

_How should I know? I was meditating on Iron Island before I ended up here._

_I was partying!_

_My mom was giving me dinner!_

"Whoa. Calm down," I said, attempting to pacify the Pokémon.

_You can understand us?_

_I think he has a translator._

_Why don't more Trainers do that?_

_Who knows. Maybe we can meet a real Pokèmorph._

"Okay. Listen, why don't we get dinner?"

_Sounds good._

_Yeah._

_I'm in._

_Hungry!_

I led the quartet downstairs to the cafeteria. I could feel people's eyes on me, or maybe it was on the rare Pokémon. Either way, I was ignoring them. As I got some food for my new team, and myself I thought I could hear something snapping. I sat down at the least occupied table and was greeted by a girl.

"Hi! My name is Leaf Ketchum. Are you a Pokèmorph?" trilled the girl.

"No. My name's Sam," I replied coolly.

"Those are some nice Pokémon you have. I've only heard of Deinos before. And is that a Beldum?" she questioned eagerly.

"Looks like it, doesn't it?"

"What planet are you from? Pocket doesn't get too many visitors nowadays."

"I'm from Norion. You live here?"

"Yeah. Hey, can I see your Trainer Card?"

"Sure." I pulled out the card and gave it to her. She studied the card intently. "Neat. How did you get a Gold Card already? You don't even have a single Gym Badge!"

"Good question. Glitch, maybe? Anyway, I want to get to Rustboro, and challenge the Gym there. Is there a ferry there or something?"

"Yeah. Mossdeep has a ferry that goes to Lilycove City. From there, you can take another one to Slateport. Then, Rustboro is just south, on Route 115."

"Thanks."

" I'm heading to Rustboro myself. Can I come with you? We can train together. Your Pokémon look like they're only Level 5."

"They are. And sure, I could use a training companion."

"Thanks! By the way, watch out. Gaby and Ty over there are looking to interview the most recent Pokèmorph, which they probably think is you."

"Right. We'll leave tomorrow morning. I'm really tired."

"_Do we really have to deal with this girl?"_

"_There's probably more air in her head than in a Drifblim's!"_

"_What's a Drifblim?"_

"_Who cares! I'm hungry!"_

"Yes, you do. She's not an airhead. Cheer up," I told my Pokémon.

"Were you just talking to them?" asked Leaf.

"Yeah. I have a translator. Listen, I'm hitting the sack. Meet me at the entrance tomorrow morning at eight. Sound good?"

"Sure. See you then, Sam!" exclaimed Leaf.

I walked into my room and collapsed on the bed. My Pokémon, except the floating Beldum, leaped onto it. I was too tired to call them into their Pokèballs, so I just let them lie on the bed.

In the morning, I took a much-needed shower, grabbed some breakfast, which I was really enjoying, and went to the entrance. At 8:30. Leaf showed up. "You're late," I noted dryly.

"Sorry about that! My alarm didn't ring."

"All right. Come on, let's go." I led Leaf out of the Center, and we ran for the ferry. Once onboard, Leaf decided that she wanted to have a Pokémon battle. Deciding that I needed to train my team if I was to complete Arceus' challenge, I agreed.

"Go, Snivy!" called Leaf. Her Snivy appeared, looking bored out of its skull. I took a look at it and decided to try out Beldum. "Go, Beldum!" I called.

Beldum appeared from its Pokèball, looking around before zeroing in on the Snivy. Both Pokémon's eyes narrowed. Leaf began by shouting, "Snivy, use Leer!" Snivy took on a smug expression, causing Beldum to shake angrily. I noticed that its Defense lowered.

"Okay, Beldum. Take Down!" I commanded. Beldum threw itself with a vengeance at Snivy, who easily leaped over it.

"Tackle!" called Leaf. In mid-air, Snivy flipped over, and when it hit the ground, it instantly pushed off, smacking into Beldum. While normally this wouldn't have affected Beldum too much, its lowered Defense enabled Snivy's Tackle to do more damage. Beldum spun around angrily, and to my surprise, used another Take Down without my command. It struck Snivy, clearly winding it, but Beldum also took damage. Leaf smirked. "Okay Snivy, Leer at it!" she ordered. Snivy stuck out its tongue and lowered an eye at Beldum, whose Defense lowered again. Furiously, Beldum flew in for another rogue Take Down. It smacked into Snivy, who teetered for a moment, then collapsed. Beldum hovered there defiantly before its magnetism gave out and it crashed to the floor. I hurried over to Beldum, returning it and standing to look at Leaf. She was staring at something behind me, and I turned to see a reporter shove a microphone into my face.

"How do you feel getting beaten by a human, when you are a Pokèmorph?" interrogated the reporter. I pushed the microphone aside and asked, "Who are you?"

"I'm Gaby, and this is Ty. Tell us, how does it feel to be ignored by your Pokémon?"

"Go away, please. I'm busy," I snapped.

"Yeah. You heard him," piped up Leaf.

"Are you two in a relationship of some sort?"

"What? NO!" exclaimed Leaf and I simultaneously, our faces brighter red than Charmanders.

"Well, based on your simultaneous exclamations, I think it's clear that there is a romance in the air," proclaimed Gaby smugly. I glared at her. "Don't you have better things to do with your life?"

"Tell me, when did you fall in love?"

I growled and sent out Deino.

"Use Tackle on the camera!" I ordered. Deino glanced up at me, growling,

"_Hungry. Why should I tackle that hard thing? It's inedible!"_

Gaby smirked. "A Pokèmorph in love who can't control his team. Ty, I think we have a story here!" I grabbed the camera from Ty and looked into it. "Get a life," I snapped into the camera, before tossing it overboard. Gaby glared at me, and then she and Ty strode off. I glared back. Leaf put a hand on my shoulder. "Cheer up," she said. "Gaby and Ty are nuisances to everyone special. Besides, our battle isn't over yet!"

The rest of the journey went smoothly, except that my Pokémon frequently ignored me. Out of every six commands, they would listen to one. I fretted over it the entire way to Slateport. Leaf told me that with time, my Pokémon would come to respect and listen to me. We stopped off in Slateport to rest up before heading to Rustboro. While there, Leaf dragged me off to the museum. She was intently studying the exhibits, while I was trying not to draw attention to myself.

"SAM!" I heard my name and then something knocked the wind out of me. A red-blue thing had its arms wrapped around me. I pried the thing off. It was a girl with strange features. She had four thin, noodle like arms. Two spikes jutted from her head, and a third, larger one protruded from her bare, red scalp. And there was a glowing blue crystal in her chest. "Do I… know you?" I asked cautiously.

"You don't remember? It's me, Tal!" exclaimed the strange girl.

"I'm sorry. I don't know you."

"I'd recognize your voice and your eyes anywhere! What happened to you? Where have you been?" shrieked the girl.

"What happened to _you_? You look like a monster!" I noted.

"It involved noodles, a laser, and a meteorite, the end result being my accidental fusion with a Deoxys, which happened to be the third recorded one in history. But enough about me. Sam, you've been missing for fifteen years!" exclaimed the girl.

"Were we friends, or something? Because I really don't know you," I tried to explain.

"You used to be my best friend! We would go everywhere together! Our dreams were to become the first recorded dual Champions in history! Then, just before we were about to start our Pokémon journeys, you just disappeared. What happened to you?" she asked.

**This really is your friend Tal. It's locked up in your head, but she triggered the memory.**

"Yeah, well, I really don't know myself."

"Neat. Now come on, let's head to Rustboro," Leaf said.

"Why're you going there?" asked Tal.

"I'm challenging the Gym Leader there."

" Nice. I'll see you guys around. I'd love to stay and chat, Sam, but I have some work to do. See you guys later!" With that, Tal turned and sauntered out of the museum. I watched, nonplussed. If she was my friend, why wasn't she sticking around?

"Come on," said Leaf. I followed her out of the museum.

Along the way to Rustboro, we trained some more. My Pokémon began to take two orders out of five. Leaf's Snivy evolved into Servine, and she began using a Bagon. My Larvitar learned Sandstorm and Screech. Beldum, for some reason, couldn't learn any moves, not even a TM that Leaf lent me. My Riolu learned Counter and Force Palm, while Deino learnt Bite and Headbutt. Mostly pleased with my team's progress, Leaf and I happily strolled into Rustboro. When we entered the Pokémon Center, my bliss was rudely shattered by the return of Gaby and Ty.

"Hello, Pokèmorph! Hoenn would like to know, why are you so angry? Has Leaf done anything to help you out? And what plans do you star-crossed lovers have now?" asked the annoying reporter, her faithful cameraman by her side.

"First, you're making me angry with these stupid interviews. Next, this is not Leaf's problem, it's mine, and WE ARE NOT STAR-CROSSED LOVERS!" I angrily roared. My tail whipped back and forth in a frenzy. Gaby took a step back. "You know that you can't deny true love," she crooned.

"Well then, it's clearly not love, because I AM denying any serious relationship between Leaf and I. We're just friends!" I screeched. I sent out Riolu. "Force Palm the camera!" I ordered. Riolu stared at it and turned up its nose. Gaby chuckled. "Still having problems, I see!" I returned Riolu, and then grabbed the camera from Ty, smashing it into the ground. Then I stormed towards the nurse. She healed my Pokémon and set me up with a room, though slightly nervous at my outburst. I lay on the bed, fuming. Why was that reporter constantly trying to interview me? She couldn't seem to take a hint. It was all I could do to keep from frying her. I lay there all night, just getting up to eat.

The next morning, Leaf popped her head into my room. "C'mon Sam. You need to challenge Roxanne!"

"Who?" I asked, walking towards the bathroom.

"The Gym Leader. Listen, meet me downstairs after you're done, okay?"

"See you."

I stepped out of the shower feeling refreshed. Before I left the room, I sent out my Pokémon. "Listen, you guys. I know you're bad at taking orders from me, but we're about to challenge our first Gym. If you don't listen to me, you're going to lose. So I need you to listen to my commands. Okay?"

The Pokémon stared up at me for a while. Then I heard:

"_Us? Listen to you? Not likely."_

"_Hungry! Can win by self!"_

"_Why should we take orders from you? I think Arceus was sorely mistaken when he challenged you."_

"_You SUCK at this!"_

I winced. Not only were my Pokémon getting more unruly, they were insulting me, too. This Gym Battle was fated to end badly. Grimly, I walked down to the entrance, where Leaf was waiting. She flashed me a smile. Then we headed to the Pokémon Gym. Before entering, I quickly made for the Pokèmart, where I stocked up on Potions with some borrowed cash. Then I walked into the Gym. A man in shades was there. He gave me a surprised glance, then said, "Welcome to the Rustboro City Gym! Good luck fighting Roxanne. A good thing to remember is that she favors Ground-type Pokémon and moves. You might want to challenge the trainers inside, as well!"

I nodded and gave a polite smile. Then I strode forward into the Gym. Along the way, I dueled the Trainers inside. I favored Riolu the most inside the Gym. Once I had effortlessly owned the Trainers, I walked right up to Roxanne.

"Hi," I greeted her. "I'm Sam, and I want to challenge you to a Gym Battle!"

"Oh! A Pokèmorph!" exclaimed Roxanne. Then she blushed. "Sorry about that. We don't see too many of you folks lately. They're all busy challenging higher ranked Gyms, or even leading them! But that's beside the point. I accept your challenge!"

"Welcome to the Rustboro City Gym! Today, the Gym Leader Roxanne will face the Pokèmorph Sam. Roxanne will use three Pokémon, while the challenger can use all of his Pokémon!" called the referee. I looked around the small stadium. People of all ages crowded the stands, probably trying to watch me. Leaf sat in the front row. She nodded and gave me a thumbs up. Then I turned to study Roxanne, who exuded an aura of confidence and knowledge. Maybe I could trick her into overconfidence, then sucker punch her. Roxanne tossed out her first Pokémon, a Roggenrola. I sent out Riolu. Riolu stared at the Roggenrola, which tapped its legs together in response. The referee called out, "Begin!"

"Use Harden!" called Roxanne. Her Roggenrola flashed silver for a spilt second.

"Force Palm it!" I commanded Riolu. It gave me a condescending glare before lunging and delivering the blow, which easily knocked out the opposing Pokémon. Roxanne quickly drew it back, and gave me an admiring look. "I'm impressed. You already beat Roggenrola! But this one won't be so easy! Go, Onix!"

Roxanne sent out a massive snake made of rocks. It roared at my Riolu, who glared up at it defiantly.

"Riolu! Force Palm!" I commanded. Riolu gave me a look, then turned its face up. Roxanne giggled, and I groaned. Roxanne took advantage of the situation by having her Onix use Screech. Everyone, even Roxanne and I, cringed, clutching our ears. Riolu seemed slightly disoriented by the massive sound pulse, drastically lowering its Defense. "Use Force Palm again!" I ordered. For some reason, Riolu didn't even give me a look. It simply obeyed the order with a vague look on its face. Riolu hurled itself at the Onix and delivered a critical Force Palm to the rock snake's head, which tottered for a few seconds, then collapsed with a heap. Riolu gave a sluggish bow, then turned to me and gave a vacuous smile.

Roxanne grinned. "Wow, you're a really good Trainer! Or maybe your Riolu's just really strong. Either way, you're only the second person to be able to take down my Pokémon in just one hit! But not anymore! Go, Probopass!"

Roxanne threw out her final Pokémon, a rock with a massive red nose and a stone beard. A large, rust colored disc sat on its head, and two nostril-shaped objects protruded from its sides. I eyed it carefully, and ordered, "Okay, Riolu. Put it down with a Force Palm!" Riolu complied, throwing itself at the Probopass.

"Quick, use Magnet Bomb!" Roxanne ordered. The Probopass fired bolts of silver energy at Riolu, smacking into it like a truck. Riolu was blown off its feet, and lay on the ground, unconscious. I returned it quickly with a few congratulatory words and had an inner debate. Should I use Beldum, Deino, or Larvitar? Beldum only knew Take Down. Deino's Dragon type lent a weakness if Probopass had Rock-type moves. Larvitar wouldn't be much good either. In the end, I sent out Beldum. While its Take Down would not do much damage, neither would any of Probopass' possible moves.

"Use Take Down!" I called. Beldum glared at me, but thankfully complied. It rammed into Probopass, sending both Pokémon flying. Beldum halted its flight, and Probopass steadied itself. Both Pokémon looked exhausted from the Take Down. I hesitated. Roxanne grinned, and her Probopass gave Beldum a taunting look. I knew what was about to happen, so I whipped out the Pokèball. Too late! Beldum slammed into Probopass with a critical Take Down. Probopass was whirled off its feet and landed on its back, unconscious. Beldum hovered there. I stared nervously. Then it began to glow. Its features were erased in a white shine. The silhouette changed appearance, growing two arms and flattening its head. When the glow was gone, so was Beldum. In its place was a Metang, which roared triumphantly.

The stadium burst into cheers as Roxanne returned her Pokémon. Then she waltzed up to me and handed over a badge. "Wow! That was amazing! Your Beldum, or should I say, Metang, really came through for you! But you should probably start exerting more control over it. But still, quite a match. You completely owned me." I smiled wanly, and glanced over at the exit to see Gaby and Ty. I quickly said goodbye to Roxanne, then ran over to Leaf.

"Come on, let's go!" I urged her, pointing at Gaby and Ty. She hopped off the stands and we ran for the exit. Gaby strategically blocked my path.

"Gaby here, with the Pokèmorph Sam, who just took down Roxanne with his Riolu and Beldum. Hoenn would like to know, what did you feel during the fight? Was your lover's presence helpful?" she asked.

If looks could kill, Gaby would be in hell. Instead, I tried to stop myself from draining her energy, and said tightly, "What the hell part of 'just friends' did you not get? Move. I have better things to do than answer your questions."

"Come on, tell us," wheedled Gaby. I glared again. Then I snatched Ty's camera away, flipped the bird at it, and then smashed it. Gaby grimaced. I smiled and strode out of the arena.

"Hi Sam!" I was knocked over by a red-blue mass, which I recognized as Tal. Now she looked different. The head spikes were still in place, but the arms were thin, singular noodles.

"You beat Roxanne, huh? That's great! Keep up the momentum and don't lose to a Gym! Never! Got to go! Bye!" Before I could say anything, Tal was gone, a literal red-blue blur winding her way through Rustboro.

On the way to the next gym, we trained some more. I threw myself into the training with a vengeance, hoping to leave Pocket with Gaby's head on a stake. We left a wide range of defeated Trainers in our wake, as well as Dewford Town's Gym leader, Brawly. Tal showed up again, with yet another different look(rounded head and flat limbs) and another weird set of advice, about always using TMs. On our way to Mauville Town, home to the third Gym, Leaf and I began hearing rumors about strange robots combing Hoenn for a rare animal of some sort. The rumors began flying faster as we approached Mauville. When we finally arrived, we got to see the robots for ourselves. One of them was some kind of blue exosuit with green stripes, and a strange gun on its arm. The other was a brown robot whose waist seemed to join the upper and lower segments of its body. They were talking to an old man, who seemed flustered. His eyes darted around rapidly. When he saw Leaf, and me the old man gasped, "There! It's over there!" The two robots whirled around and stalked towards us. Leaf sent out her Servine. My tail waved back and forth, ready to stab the two droids. They stopped a few feet in front of us. "Are you Sam, the Pokèmorph?" asked the blue one, sharply.

"Yeah. What's it to-" The brown one had my throat in his clenched fist instantly. I gargled incoherently, oxygen not coming fast enough for my brain to tell my tail to spike the robot.

"Use Razor Leaf!" Leaf's Servine quickly summoned a barrage of leaves that zoomed into the robot. He laughed, a low, guttural sound, then choked. His body was falling apart. I fell onto the ground, then got up, rubbing my throat. Luckily, the blue robot had taken the hint and fled. The old man fled into a large casino.

"Come on! Let's follow him! We need to find out why he sicced those droids on you!" exclaimed Leaf. She ran into the building, and I followed her.

"Sam? What are you doing here?" Leaf and I stopped short to see none other than Tal. She was sitting at one of the casino stools, a large amount of cash by her side. She had four noodle-like arms, and three spikes on her head.

"Tal? What are _you_ doing here?" I asked.

"Playing the casino. Duh."

"Why aren't you losing?" I questioned.

"Just luck, I guess!" Tal bubbled. Then she leaned in conspiratorially to me. "Actually, I used Zap Cannon to glitch it up. But hush up about it. It's a secret to everybody. Here!" She shoveled a large amount of cash into my hands.

"That's about a hundred thousand yen. Spend it wisely!"

I stashed the money in my now-deep pockets and hurried to catch up to Leaf. She was at the counter, arguing with the cashier.

"What do you MEAN, you won't tell us? That old goat tried to kill my friend with his droids!" she complained.

"I'm sorry, miss, but I can't….help… y-y-y- AAH!" screamed the cashier, seeing me.

I smirked and sauntered up there, leaning forward. "Listen, pal," I said, my tail waving over my shoulder, "don't you want to tell us where the old man who came in here went?"

"Y-y-y-yeah. He ran that way!" whimpered the clerk. "Don't hurt me!" he whined. We ran off in that direction. I caught a glimpse of the old man turning the corner. We chased after him, and then the ceiling collapsed. Leaf dove out the way, but debris brained me. I shook my head to see Androids 1 and 2 again.

"You again! What the hell do you want?" I questioned, my tail primed and ready.

"Your unconscious body," answered the blue droid, lunging in. I ducked and it slammed into a roulette table. People fled, screaming at the top of their lungs. The brown one lunged at Leaf. She nimbly sidestepped and it crashed into a row of slot machines.

"Need help?" I looked over to see Tal. She was glaring at the robots.

"This is my favorite place, assholes! Now DIE!" Tal screeched. She threw her arms up, and two extra arms sprouted. She clapped them together, and a pink wave of energy slammed into the robots, causing them to fly back in a shower of sparks. Tal snorted and strode away. Leaf and I stared at each other. Then we went back to looking for the old man. We couldn't find him, and resignedly went to the Pokémon Center to find a place to crash. I bade Leaf good night and fell on the bed.

I woke up the next morning with a blue blade at my throat. I almost groaned when I saw it was the two androids. The blue one said to the brown one, "Weavel, get the Z4 gas. Let's drug this thing ASAP."

"On it." The brown one, AKA Weavel, pressed a few buttons on its wrist and a canister popped out. "It's awake, Sylux," it called out when it saw my opened eyes.

"I can tell, you idiot. I've been looking at it the whole time. Hurry up with the gas and don't let it touch cold water," complained the blue one, now known as Sylux. I lay limp, trying to keep the blade from biting into my neck. However, my tail began to rise.

Sylux and Weavel were now arguing. Apparently, Weavel was 'hurt' by Sylux's insult. The exasperated robot told him to shut up and gas me. Weavel aimed the canister at Sylux. I took a deep breath and punctured the canister. They barked in surprise, fumbling around, enabling me to sneak out of the room in Morph Ball, with my belt secured to my waist. Once outside, I uncurled and locked the door. It would slow them down for maybe a second. I quickly knocked on Leaf's door, hissing, "Those bots from the casino are here!"

After a minute, Leaf stepped out. She beckoned me forward, and we snuck out of the Center.

"All right, the cops should be arriving soon." Leaf hung up the pay phone. Soon, we watched the fuzz arrive at the Center. They walked out with the two robots in tow, both looking deactivated. After that close shave, I decided to go to the Gym. I paid back Leaf and went into the Mart to restock.

The first thing I noticed about it was the numerous electric traps placed around the floor. When Leaf asked the man standing at the entrance, he replied, "Got to separate the strong from the weak. Test one: noticing the traps. If you don't, they might paralyze your Pokémon."

" That seems a bit harsh, yeah?" commented Leaf. The man didn't respond. When we walked onto the booby-trapped floor, my Pokèballs suddenly failed, releasing the Pokémon.

"Yeah, forgot to mention. Your Pokémon are automatically released so you can't protect them," called the man. I gave him a glare. Then I turned to my Pokémon. "Do not move! At-"

Deino threw itself at the electric traps. Leaf and I cringed as its skeleton briefly became visible. "All," I lamely finished. Then I ran up to examine Deino. It seemed okay, but just to be safe, I used a Paralyze Heal on it.

"All right. Don't try that again, yeah?" I told my Pokémon. Metang slammed into me, knocking me into the electric trap and frying me.

My screams rang out as my Pokémon teamed up to knock me between the electric traps like a holo-pinball machine. Finally, I fell out onto the floor. My Pokémon circled me, making sounds that my damaged ears could barely register. Leaf crouched down. "Are you okay?" I tried to snap at her, but my muscles were too shocked to move. All I could do was twitch as electricity rolled across my body. Leaf pulled out a yellow spray and doused me in it. Instantly, I found that I could move again. I got to my feet, grunting as electricity crackled, then glared at my Pokémon. They stared back defiantly.

"What," I growled, "the hell! Do that again, and I'll make sure you won't be able to do _anything_ ever again." Then I turned to Leaf. "Thanks."

"No problem. You really need to control your Pokémon. I know just the thing, but we'll need to wait until we reach Lavaridge Town."

"Can't-ow-wait," I said, wincing as a spark curled up my tail. "Seriously, what is with my Pokémon? Do I have to save them from a bunch of damn birds or something?"

Leaf smirked. "Doubtful."

I decided to head straight for the Gym Leader, ignoring my body's protests. When I reached the Gym Leader, I stared. "Callisto?"

The Jovian noticed me and tackled me in a hug. "Sam! It's really you!" Then she stepped back. "Wow. Nice look. Tail looks good on you. So does the hot ensemble. Wonder how it looks in bed?"

"What?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing. What's happened to you? It's been fifteen years."

"Believe me, I know. Basically, I got caught up in a war," I told her.

"You mean the Coalition-Unitologist war? How?"

"The Unitologists think that I'm a threat to their religion or something."

"Wow."

"Anyway, what happened to you? Your speech is calmer. How'd you become a Gym Leader?"

"The transporter landed me on Pocket. With nothing else to do, I collected a Trainer Card and set out to become the League Champion. I was, actually, for about a year. Then I was beaten and decided to become a Gym Leader. Did you know, a Pokèmorph is rumored to be the current Champion? And speaking of which, I didn't know _you_ were a Pokèmorph!"

"What?" I gasped.

"Look." Callisto pulled out a newspaper from her pocket.

There, in massive bold letters on the front page, was "ROGUE POKèMORPH ON THE LOOSE". Below was a picture of me flipping the bird at the camera in Rustboro City. An article read, "A new Pokèmorph has been spotted in Rustboro. It is unregistered, going by the name Sam. The Pokèmorph is in traditional Trainer garb. It is black, silver, and red, with a tail and strange spikes on its arms. The Pokèmorph was last seen going to Mauville Town. It is with the trainer Leaf Ketchum. It refused to be reached for comments. Scientist Alfred Baker commented, 'This is an undiscovered Pokèmorph. My best guess is that it is one of the Legendary Pokèmorphs. Which one, I can't tell. It's possible that it is a Kyurem Pokèmorph.' Kyurem, the second known extraterrestrial Pokémon, was living in Giant Chasm until the Unova Champion Black Sanders caught it. Gabriella Rep and Tyson Porter were the first press team to meet the Pokèmorph. Said Gabriella, 'Please, call me Gaby. Rest assured, Ty and I won't stop until we have this story!'"

I gritted my teeth. "I'm not a Pokèmorph. Gaby and Ty have been pestering me across this whole damn island. But that's beside the point. I want the third Gym Badge. You know what this means?"

"Sure I do. Let's rock," Callisto giggled.

We stood in a private arena for the battle. It was just Callisto, a referee, and I. Callisto sent out Magnemite. I easily went with Pupitar. Pupitar decimated Magnemite with a single Earthquake(which I had taught it with a TM). Callisto smirked and sent out an Electabuzz. It was over in an instant. I swore that Pupitar smirked. Callisto finally sent out a Raichu.

"Use Earthquake!" I called out. Pupitar readied itself… and then turned. I swallowed, knowing the expression on its face very well. Then it performed the earthquake, but not at Raichu. The ground beneath me shook, and a massive pillar of rock catapulted me into the sky. I curled into a Morph Ball to avoid injury, then uncurled and glared at Pupitar. "Earthquake! But this time, on the Raichu!" I commanded. Pupitar turned with an air that clearly stated it was doing this because it wanted to, not because I told it to. Then it used Earthquake. The Raichu attempted to dodge it, but a pillar of rock slammed into its face. The Raichu fell back, unconscious. "Nice moves!" congratulated Callisto. She waltzed up to me and planted a kiss on my cheek. Then she planted the third Badge into my hand. Finally, she whirled around and skipped off. I watched, nonplussed.

When I exited the Gym, things didn't get any better. Gaby and Ty were waiting for me. Gaby thrust the microphone into my face. "You successfully cleared the third gym, but your Pokémon are still unruly. What's it like to have an uncooperative team? And how would Leaf Ketchum feel if she learned about your embrace with the Gym Leader?"

I smoldered. "For the LAST F#%$KING TIME, I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH LEAF, DAMMIT! And how the hell did you get into the arena?"

"You know you can't deny true love," crooned Gaby.

"The only thing undeniable is that you're a massive pain in the ass," I told her. Then I strode off to the Pokémon Center. Inside, I met Tal. "Hey, Tal," I greeted her. Tal was in her spiked-noodle form(spiky head, noodle-like arms). She bubbled, "Hey, Sam! I see you beat Callisto. Had a run-in with Gaby and Ty, too. Don't worry. They're bigger airheads than a Drifblim. I bet Madeline would be proud."

"Wait! Who's Madeline?" I asked her. Tal simply chided, "Come on, I know you remember her," and walked out of the Center. When I tried to follow her, she was gone.

On the way to Lavaridge Town, I smoldered about Gaby. My thoughts were filled with vengeance towards her. I took my vengeance out on the fourth Gym Leader, a Chimchar Pokèmorph. Pupitar served me well, albeit very unwillingly. Metang seemed to have some respect. Deino was still obsessed with food, but Riolu was unflaggingly obedient. The Onix's Screech had messed with its mind. Leaf directed me to a sauna behind the Pokémon Center, which seemed to have a calming effect on my Pokémon, though not enough to ensure their obedience. I had another run-in with Gaby and Ty, who asked me what kind of Pokèmorph I was, to which I gave a scathing "STFU!"

On the way to Petalburg City, Leaf and I began hearing rumors about some kind of Trainer embargo on the city. When we arrived, we were looking up at a thirty-foot wall encasing Petalburg. Two guards upon seeing us, asked, "Are you the Pokèmorph Sam?"

"Yeah," I grunted. "What's it to you?"

"By decree of the Unitology Council, you are forbidden to enter Petalburg City."

**Next time: Unitologists, bounty hunters, and Pokèmon, oh my! Sam and Leaf must contend with these factors as they continue on their way through Hoenn.**

**Sorry about the long chapter waits. I try to type up as much as I can each day.(This chapter alone is a whopping 26 out of 212 pages!)**

**Thanks for your suggestions, Giygasfan128. However, I do not think I will do Mass Effect, as I know very little about it. As for Halo, I'm trying to do sci-fi crossovers from every media outlet except Halo, as that is just totally overused.**

**I am always accepting OCs. Just send a description(powers, appearance, personality) in your reviews or PMs.**

**I am also accepting ideas for crossovers. Send in a sci-fi thing and I will try to fit it in. NOTE: I cannot fit in all crossover suggestions.**

**I'm amazed by the sudden surge in Metroid stories! Holy cow! And two updates from stories at least two years old! Even better! Keep writing, FanFiction! Just don't forget to update as often as you can!**

**We didn't reach 38 reviews. Oh well. Now we're shooting for at least 40! Always review with suggestions, praise, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, etc!**

**ARandomDay out. Peace!**


	21. Oh Pokèmorph, Where Art Thou? Part 2

"You're telling me that a bunch of jelly-obsessed quacks won't let me into the city?" I snapped.

"That's exactly what we're saying. _Freak,_" spat the guard.

Soon after, the two guards were hanging from a tree, completely nude and covered in bruises. I grabbed a piece of paper from Leaf and a pen, and then wrote on it "Please keep looking at us until you decide to call the asylum". Then I pinned it to one's chest.

"Wow," said Leaf. "I have never seen so much brutality. Did those two really deserve that?"

"No, but it felt good," I told her. Then I walked back to the wall. I heard some scuffling behind me, and turned to see an empty tree and Leaf walking coolly towards me.

"I'm not going to respond. Now let's get into the city," I said.

Leaf said, "Hang on a minute." She walked over to a small little guard hut off to the side. I waited a moment, and then Leaf waltzed out, a clearly entranced security guard following her. Leaf motioned for me to get out of sight. I ducked behind a tree and watched her as she flirted with the guard, who pulled out a remote and pressed something on it. The walls separated. Leaf gave the man a peck on the cheek, and then roundhouse kicked him in the side of the head. He fell like a rock. I walked out of cover and admired the unconscious guard. "Nice."

Petalburg City itself was no better. Guards patrolled the streets. To avoid attention, Leaf and I split up. I curled into a Morph Ball and rolled around the city, searching for the Gym. I reached the Gym without attracting attention, though a few people did give minor glances at the rolling ball. I uncurled and dashed into the Gym.

"OMGWTFBBQ!" The next minute, I was flat on my back with a girl pummeling my chest. "You're the Kyurem Pokèmorph! I gotta take a picture! My friends will be all WTF and OMG! This is going on my wall for sure!" screeched the girl. I curled into a Morph Ball. The girl fell on her face and I rolled into the next room. Some Trainers were milling around in there. They didn't notice me, and I rolled into the next room. More Trainers milled around. A couple of them noticed me, at which point I stopped. The Trainers' attentions moved off, and I was about to make it to the next room when the fan girl from the first room ran in, screaming, "It's the Pokèmorph!" and pointing at me. One Trainer sent out a Breloom, which emitted a yellow powder. When the powder touched me, it forced me to uncurl. My limbs refused to move. The Trainers moved in, grinning. I struggled fiercely, but the Trainers just pulled out opened Pokèballs. I could see where this was going, and I didn't like it one bit. The first Trainer threw out his Pokèball. It hit me. Red light blinded me, and then there was darkness.

I realized that I was inside the Pokèball. Fiercely, I wriggled around. The ball couldn't take the stress and broke open. My paralysis gone, I glared at the Trainer. I stood up and stalked towards him. His grin quickly changed as he stumbled back in fear. The Trainer's Breloom leaped in front of him. I kicked it between its legs, and it keeled over. The Trainer returned his Pokèmon even as he moved back. Finally, his back hit the wall. He gained a look of absolute terror. I strode up until we were face to face. I glared at him, and stepped back. His face twisted in relief, and then it met my fist. The Trainer slumped down, his nose crooked and bloody. I gave his unconscious body one more glare. I spat on him and walked away. The Trainers gave me a wide berth to move towards the next door. When I passed through it, I found myself staring at a girl. She had red shoes and a red swimsuit-like thing with Pokèball decorations on. Beneath that were some small shorts. Around her waist was a green bag, and on her head was a green bandanna. She had on white gloves. We stared at each other, and then she charged at me. Surprised, I let her tackle me. She began taking pictures and ogling. I shoved her off.

"Where's the Gym Leader?" I asked her.

"You're looking at her," she answered.

"Well. This is awkward. Screw it. Let's battle," I decided.

The girl sent out a Vigoroth, which looked like an albino Earth simian. I chose Riolu for the fight. The Riolu and Vigoroth sized each other up. Quickly, we called out our commands, and the Pokèmon went at it. Riolu delivered a Brick Break (TM taught) to the top of the Vigoroth's skull, quickly putting it down. May then sent out a massive Snorlax, which sat there with its eyes closed. I had Riolu use a Force Palm on its gut. The Snorlax's eyes opened wide as it let out a low groan. Then it toppled backwards. May's eyes widened just as wide.

"Wow! You're some Trainer! Cute _and_ an expert!" she gushed.

I sighed. "Let's just get this over with."

"Spoilsport," she huffed as she sent out a Herdier. The Herdier barked at Riolu, which growled in response. Riolu delivered a Brick Break to the charging Herdier, which instantly passed out and slid to Riolu's feet.

"That was over too fast for me. You really know what you're doing. Good luck, Pokèmorph. Doubt you'll need it, though. Here's your Badge," said May. She handed me the Badge, then stepped back. I walked right out without looking back.

"There's the Pokèmorph! Get it!" As soon as I was outside, my senses were assaulted by bursts of light and wailing sirens. "Pokèmorph!" called a voice. "You are under arrest for assault and battery!"

"Hey!" I retorted, shielding my eyes, "I punched one kid in the face one time. Since when was one punch assault and battery?"

"That punch could have killed him!" replied the voice.

"Oh, please!" I complained. I rolled into a Morph Ball and quickly rolled behind a tree. Then I uncurled and replied, "So he has a broken nose. He'll get over it. Now quit hounding me."

"Get it!" ordered the voice. A massive electrical pulse leaped at me. My vision blurred. When it cleared up, I was resting inside a cell with my hands, feet, and tail wrapped around my chest by a metal bar.

**Huh. I always knew you would end up tied just before you were euthanized. **

"Thanks for the concern, you prick," I growled.

**Just hurry up and snap the ropes.**

I curled into a Morph Ball. The bar fell away. I bounced over it and uncurled, surveying the cell. It was a cinderblock with a locked hatch. Luckily, there was a vent above it. I leaped up and knocked the vent cover off. With my next leap, I grabbed the edge of the vent and tried to hoist myself up. I did, but unintentionally curled into a Morph Ball, enabling me to fit inside the tiny shaft. I rolled through it. Once I reached another ventilation duct, I slammed into it repeatedly until it fell off. Then I rolled out and uncurled. A flabbergasted guard was standing next to me. His mouth opened and closed like a fish. I closed them by knocking him out with a well-placed punch. My next step was to leave. Quite luckily for me, a door was behind the guard. I pushed through it into the sun-lit Petalburg City.

I made for the Pokèmon Center, where I found Leaf and Tal (head-spikes and four noodle-arms) talking to each other and eating.

"Hey, Sam," greeted Leaf mildly. "What did you do, pull an Ocean's eleven?"

"What? Hey, Leaf. Hey, Tal. What've you guys been doing since I've been _in jail?_" I asked them pointedly.

They shrugged. "Going around, scoping the cute boys, messing with May, that kind of thing," munched Tal as she took a bite of a sandwich.

"_You've_ been scoping boys. I've been checking out the news," put in Leaf as she slurped soup. "Listen to this. Petalburg, Rustboro, Dewford, Lilycove, and Sootopolis City are now Unitologist towns, as well as Fallarbor Town. Fortree, Mossdeep, Pacifidlog, Verdanturf, Lavaridge, Slateport, and Mauville have bounties on your heads. Only New Bark, Oldale, and Ever Grande are staying neutral.

"What. The. Hell," I muttered.

"It goes without saying you need to get the hell out of here," chirped Tal, munching on the same sandwich.

"See you at Fortree," chimed in Leaf. I growled. The two did not look in the least intimidated, only saying, "You really might want to jet."

I turned and walked out of the Center.

"Get it!" I saw a massive storm of Unitologists streaming at me, vicious Pokèmon at the ready and signs saying, "GO HOME" and "DIE, ARCHFIEND". I turned and ran back into the center, where more Unitologists surrounded me. I gave Leaf and Tal an angry look, and dashed to the stairs. I climbed up the roof, where I looked around. Unitologists were surrounding the Center. I could easily kill them all, but I didn't want be truthfully accused of evil. That would only make things that much harder for me. I scanned the area, my hopes dimming.

"Need a lift?" I looked up to see a boy in white clothes, and green hair sitting atop a massive black dragon, a blue-lined booster as its tail. I leaped onto the dragon, and it flew off. The city fell away behind us.

"Thanks for the save," I said. "What's your name?"

"My name is Natural Harmonia, but you can call me N," he stated. "And you're the Kyurem Pokèmorph?"

"Um," I hesitated, and then said, "Yeah."

"Tell me, what's it like, being a bridge between our world and theirs?"

"It's not exactly fun. Listen, where are we going?"

"Oldale Town. Why?"

"Thanks for the ride, but that's not where I'm going. I'll see you later."

"Huh?" asked N. "How are you going to-" I jumped off and began Screw Attacking before he could finish the sentence.

I Screw Attacked across Hoenn, searching for Fortree City. As luck would have it, I found Fortree just north of Mauville City. I landed just on the outskirts of town. Quickly, I tucked my tail into my jeans and tilted the cap that I had only recently discovered I was wearing down low to disguise my face. I walked into town and checked into the Pokèmon Center, keeping my face low. Despite this, I garnered a few looks, especially from a human and Alpacian sitting nearby.

I woke up the next morning to feel metal on my skin, instead of a soft bed.

_What the?_

**You're inside an stratocraft cell. That Alpacian and the human transported you here in your sleep.**

"And you didn't wake me because?" I hissed.

**I didn't feel like it.**

"One of these days I am going to slit my throat," I growled.

"Hey Houston, we have a problem," came the voice of an Alpacian.

"Was that a joke? 'Cause it sucked balls," snapped the human.

"Dammit, Armstrong, it wasn't a joke. The project woke up."

"I can see that, you moron. And don't call me Armstrong, Brannigan."

"Oh sure, _Armstrong_," came the Alpacian's mocking voice.

"Shut up, Big Time. You know what? The only 'big time' you've ever had is in the big house."

"Piss off, Armstrong. You're just a thieving quack," snorted the Alpacian.

"You better not have said that," said the human.

"Oh really? Face it, Armstrong. Everyone knows you ripped that armor off from Samus Aran. And every single one of your partners attests to you having stolen most, if not all, of the bounty after each mission."

"Oh really?" hissed the human. "Then tell me, Big Time, why did you team up with me?"

"Simple," sniffed the Alpacian. "You're about to get blown to hell." With that, I heard him press something. The human roared, "WHAT THE FU-" and then a massive explosion rocked the stratocraft. The Alpacian emitted a thin, reedy whine, which I recognized as a laugh. Then the laughing was cut off instantly, followed by a choking sound. "So, you bastard," came the voice of the human, "you were planning to blow me up, eh?"

While they had been arguing, I was considering my options, and was ready with one.

"He was," I replied, "but I'm going to do it."

"Eh?" said the human. I curled into a Morph Ball and dropped a bomb.

The effect was instantaneous. The stratocraft was annihilated. The Alpacian and human were partially vaporized. And I was falling at terminal velocity towards the Fortree City Gym. I aimed a rocket at it to open a hole for me. Then I curled into Morph Ball. Sadly, a bird hit me mid-fall, causing me to uncurl in surprise. I slammed into the ground of the Gym and moaned. A girl in white wearing something on her head leered at me curiously. "Are you all right?" she asked.

I groaned. "I just fell from twenty miles up _without_ a parachute, and you're asking if I'm all right?"

"Well, if you're talking, you're evidently fine," she pointed out.

After a moment, I heard something crack. With a grunt, I got up. "I've had a lot of practice with this kind of thing," I said.

"Well. I'm amazed you survived the practice, then," she said.

"Yeah, I know," I said, checking my belt. "Let's battle!"

"Already?"

"I think you know that I'm on the run from Unitologists and bounty hunters. Let's get this show on the road."

"All right. But may I first have the pleasure of your name?" she asked.

"It's Sam. And yours?"

"Winona. Now let's do this!"

And so we battled. It was much more difficult than I expected. My Pokèmon did not have any clear advantages, and Riolu would be severely disadvantaged. Through sheer luck, at the end, when Winona's Altaria missed Metang, it delivered a Psychic that grounded it. Metang collapsed soon thereafter.

"Wow! What a show! I think you've got wings, baby! Here's your Feather Badge!" exclaimed Winona. She handed me the Badge.

"Thanks," I said, glancing at the exit. I turned back to Winona to find her tapping away at a phone. "Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"You're under arrest for vandalizing my Gym."

The entrance door flew in, and hordes of Unitologists stormed through, glaring at me.

I quickly jumped up and Screw Attacked off.

I made it to Lilycove City intact, but too exhausted to keep moving. I checked in at the Center, and managed to heal my Pokèmon and get some rest. The next morning, I was rudely awakened by a group of Trainers crowding my room. I grunted, and they took out Pokèballs.

_Son of a bitch,_ I thought.

**I know you are, but what am I?**

**Shut up, bitch.**

I ran. The Trainers threw Pokèballs at me. I dodged. I made it to the beach, and dove in, jogging into a small reef. The water thwarted the Trainers for a brief moment, before they threw on swim clothes, re-breathers, and whale Pokèmon. I cursed, releasing bubbles, and went deeper. And deeper. And deeper. Finally, the Trainers gave up, after one of the rebreathers cracked, drowning the unlucky soul wearing it. I hung out in a tiny trench for a minute, before jogging out. As I did, I swore I could feel a giant eye watching me…

I dragged myself out of the water and lay gasping on the shores of Mossdeep City. I turned my head to see Leaf and Tal relaxing in chairs and bikinis. I groaned. "I…hate…you…"

"Oh, cheer up," bubbled Tal, walking over to me. "It's not every day you get to see hot chicks on the beach."

"Do… I… look… like… I…_choke_… care?" I coughed, water spraying out of my mouth.

"Gosh, what happened to you?" asked Leaf, examining me.

"I… had… to… fight… a… giant… blue… whale-fish…" I choked out.

"A Kyogre? Good god!" exclaimed Tal.

"Screw… it. Just… want… oxygen!" I wheezed.

Leaf and Tal helped me up. I collapsed into the chair, rasping and choking. After a few minutes, I was able to get out of the chair and stagger up the beach to the Pokèmon Center. I checked in, looking like a drowned rat, and lay on the bed, hoping for oxygen.

The next morning, I coughed up more water and began to train with Leaf and Tal. Leaf was using a new Pokèmon, a Luxray. We trained all morning and the afternoon. While we were training, a group of other Trainers gathered. When we looked at them, they pointed at me, and held up a WANTED poster with my face on it. "You want to fight?" I asked.

"We want to win. And get the bounty," they answered.

"All right. Let's do this," answered Leaf.

Leaf and I easily decimated the Trainers, their Pokèmon being no stronger than Level 20. We got a load of cash, and leveled up our Pokèmon.

With my strong Pokèmon, who were actually obeying me, I went to the Gym. Inside, I carved a swath of win while solving the puzzle of the teleportation units. Finally, I made it to Tate and Liza, the telepathic twins. They grinned. "We've been expecting you," the duo intoned.

"I would say 'stalkers', but I think you know better than that," I replied.

Tate and Liza released Lunatone and Solrock, two rock-like Pokémon that resembled Solaris and Lunar, Pocket's sun and moon. I sent out Deino and Metang. We battled each other fiercely. The telepathic twins were able to communicate mentally, giving them an advantage. At one point, though, when my tail was raised, I actually picked up on their mental communications. Without giving anything away, I managed to take the advantage. Tate and Liza's triumphant expressions slowly gave way to confusion as I trumped their Pokèmon. Solrock and Lunatone were quickly wiped out after that. With determined expressions on their faces, the dynamic duo sent out a Starmie and Chimeco. Their tactics were still ineffective, as I was able to pick up on their communications and effectively block and counter. When Espeon finally collapsed over Starmie's fallen body, Tate and Liza emitted simultaneous gasps. My Metang and Deino were still doing strong(except that Deino had a mark on its head from where it tried to bite Tate). "That was amazing! How did you know what we were going to do?" they voiced simultaneously. I raised my tail and thought, _that's how._ Tate and Liza raised their eyebrows in understanding. I gave them a nod and turned, walking away.

Outside, I met Leaf. She handed me a newspaper:

"POWERFUL POKèMORPH?"

Sam, the Pokèmorph who has been traveling Hoenn, is now famous for being able to defeat every Gym Leader he has faced on the first try, something currently held by only two other people, the trainer Red Ketchum and-" The second name was missing. Continuing, it read:

"We spoke to Roxanne Diamond, and she told us that he was very skilled in using type advantages. Brawly Kendo stated that the Pokèmorph's Pokèmon were at high levels. Callisto Sparx stated that his Pokèmon were very independent and skilled alone. May Birch stated that he was efficient at using powerful moves. And Winona Fluffington told us that he was very unorthodox in his tactics. As we speak, he was last seen swimming towards Mossdeep City. After taking more deliberations, a panel of scientists reached another conclusion: The Pokèmorph is a multi-fusion of Zekrom, possibly Rayquaza, and other, as-yet undecipherable Pokèmon."

I was impressed by myself, but knew that I had to get to the final Gym before the paparazzi reached Mossdeep. Leaf said, "Sootopolis City is south of here. Find the crater and swim under it. Hey, nice work. I'll see you in Sootopolis!"

I nodded and ran for the beach. Along the cliffside, I dove off and started running towards Sootopolis. I rested on the seabed, then started running. The Speed Booster kicked in, and I left a steam cloud that was extinguished by the weight of the water. Soon, the Sootopolis Crater came into view. I ran underneath it, carving into the rock. When I judged I had gone far enough, I crouched, and Shinesparked straight up. I smashed through rock and popped out on the other side, startling a group of people. At that point, I realized that I couldn't stop. I kept hurtling upwards. The sky grew darker, and my Combat Visor popped up, displaying an air gauge. Luckily, at that point, the Shinespark gave out. I flailed around in space, trying to force myself back down. A large green snake spiraled into view, and used its tail to slam me into the atmosphere. I angled myself carefully into Sootopolis. Just before hitting the surface, I fired at it to break it and soften the landing. I carved into the water and swam up to shore. I lay on the shoreline trying to catch my breath, when I noticed that a group of people had surrounded me, Pokèmon out, looking ready to eviscerate me. I sighed, and a Luxio took the opportunity to leap at my throat. I fought with it as it gnawed on my neck. I chopped it in the head and it fell down. I jumped up, feeling blood run down my throat. I wiped it away and licked it off, noting that it tasted like roasted picori. And that it was orange.

**Oh, man. Vaati was such a prick.**

The Unitologists gasped and began to send their Pokèmon at me again. I dodged a few and knocked others out before jumping into the water and swimming for the Gym.

Inside, I encountered more Unitologists. They leered at me and sent out their Pokèmon. Thankfully, they seemed content to let me battle one at a time. Without the advantage of numbers, I was able to chop down their numbers, but the number of my potions decreased as fast as theirs. By the time I had solved the ice puzzle for the final time, I was out of potions, forcing me to trek back out, fight my way through the mob of Unitologists, and threaten the salesclerk at the Pokèmart to sell me potions and freeze cures. Then it was another trek through the mob and a slog to solve the ice puzzle, which had changed since I last visited. After slipping, sliding, cursing, and making a last-minute jump off the cracking ice to the final stairwell, I reached the Gym Leader. I stared at him quizzically. Then I said what was on my mind: "What the _hell_ are you wearing?"

My Pokèballs malfunctioned and released the Pokèmon. Riolu, Deino, Metang, and Pupitar stared at the guy.

_What… the frack?_

_What the heck is that thing?_

_Is it a person?_

_Metrosexual hipster. Dresses like a flamboyantly gay man to separate himself from the rest of the male crowd._

_Nice one, Metang._

_Why, thank you._

"Uh, what do you mean?" asked the guy. My eyes started to water. He was wearing a hideous bikini that could barely hold a massive beer gut. I looked away, screeching, "Put some clothes on! God! My eyes!"

_Think we can push him onto the ice?_

_He'll scare the females down below._

_Sounds like a plan._

_Metang is in._

_Since when did you begin referring to yourself in the third person?_

_Hungry!_

_I knew your sudden intelligence wouldn't last._

I forced myself to look at the Gym Leader. "Man, I came here to battle, not deal with a cross dresser! Hurry up and put on some pants and a shirt!"

"Pssh! If you can't face the heat, don't touch the ice!" the Gym Leader scoffed.

"Heat? The only thing burning here is my eye!" I retorted. "But fine! Let's do this!"

"Ref!"

On cue, a referee in swim trunks trudged up the stairs. He looked simultaneously embarrassed and freezing. No wonder, considering the trunks featured superheroes. Only the Gym Leader seemed like he wanted to be here.

"O-O-key, um, today the Gym Leader Wallace Titanic will face the Pokèmorph Sam. The Gym Leader will use three Pokèmon, while the challenger can use all of his. The battle is over when one side's Pokèmon are unconscious. Now, can we please begin the battle? My children are watching on TV!" begged the referee.

We began to battle. I quickly decimated his Frillish with Deino, but his Gyarados put up a serious fight, KOing Pupitar(of course, in retrospect, Pupitar was a bad choice). Surprisingly, Riolu put the beat-down on it, and then Wallace's Milotic put the beat-down on it. Now it was Metang and Milotic. Milotic used a Hydro Pump that slammed Metang backwards. Metang retaliated with a Psychic that sent Milotic for a loop. Neither Pokèmon was ready to back down.

"Metang, Agility!" I commanded. Metang psychically raised its Speed. Milotic's next Hydro Pump was easily dodged, and Metang used another Agility. At this point, it was practically vibrating. Metang delivered a solid Bullet Punch, which magnified by Agility, sank right into Milotic's skull. Milotic crooned in agony, and I grinned darkly. Then Milotic unleashed a Hydro Pump right into Metang's face. It spun around, quite evidently dazed. Two shots of water at a psi over 9000 each could _not_ be good for anything except a whale. And that showed in Metang. Its speed gave out, and it could do nothing except take the constant slams of water from Milotic. I clenched my teeth, unable to even use a Potion while Milotic was drowning the field- and Metang. Luckily, at that moment, Metang began to glow. Milotic drew back to reveal a very angry looking Metagross. The Metagross then proceeded to lunge at Milotic, Agility in effect, and use a very powerful Hammer Arm on its head. An audible _crack_ echoed through the Gym. I winced, knowing that Milotic would have to go to the Pokèmon Center. Milotic's eyes rolled up into its head, and it collapsed, clearly unconscious.

Wallace dashed up to it and quickly returned it. Then he reached for his neck. And pulled. A zipper came away, and with it, the bikini AND beer gut. Before me stood a man-clearly a man- wearing white pants, a shirt, and a white turban. He strode up to me and shook my hand. "Well played! Most Trainers ran away when they saw my costume. And all but two of the ones who didn't were to busy gaping at my disguise than at the battle. You are one of those two, and you clearly deserve this Waterfall Badge. Take it, and know that you are ready to face the Elite Four, beyond Ever Grande City. I know you and your Pokèmon will be more than ready to face them and win. But watch for the Champion- she's a crafty one."

"Uh, thanks," I said, slightly wierded out.

Wallace pulled out an X-Transceiver and began to talk on it. "Hm? Oh, yes… here. See you." Then he turned to me. "You might want to hit the road. Sootopolis is a Unitologist town, and I had to tell them where you are. On the bright side, very few Sootopolites have Water Pokèmon, so it'll take them some time to swim here. Good luck!"

I groaned, and dashed down the stairs, over the ice, and out the door. Into a mob of Unitologists. "Oh, crap."

I bulled through the horde, getting bitten, burned, bruised, and possibly poisoned by their Pokèmon. Yes, poisoned. I forced myself off the island and sank into the bottom of the bay. Every step I took was like getting stung by a War Wasp. I forced myself into a jog directed to the island of Ever Grande. Along the way, the Speed Booster kicked in. I Shinesparked straight across the sea, leaving a massive spray like a meteor's. My Shinespark was stopped abruptly when I rammed into a Wailord…

"SONOFABITCH!" I screamed as the surprisingly agile, angry Wailord threw me into the air with a Water Spout, and then leaped out and flipped, its tail slamming into me and smacking me straight at Ever Grande City even faster than a Shinespark. I arced downwards at a very sharp-looking rock. By sheer luck, I slammed slightly below the point, and rolled down all the way to come to a stop in front of the Pokèmon Center. I dusted myself off and walked in.

"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed the nurse. She gasped, "Look at you!"

I was about to make a snappy retort when she continued, "You are a mass of welts and blood!" I looked down at myself and was surprised to see my clothes stained in red. Against my protests, the nurse forced me onto a bed, and began to spray me down with potions and Full Heals. Eventually, I managed to get off, thank her, show my badges to the bouncers waiting outside the doors, and enter Victory Road.

Inside, it was a maze. I fought dozens of Trainers, and smashed multiple rocks, trying to solve the labyrinth. Several times, I had to return outside to heal my Pokèmon. On the bright side, Deino evolved into Zweilous, and Riolu was happy enough to evolve into a Lucario. I was pleased and surprised to discover that they were constantly obeying me. Upon further investigation, I learned that my possession of all the Badges told them that I was a dependable Trainer. With their newfound respect and obedience, we easily trumped every Trainer inside Victory Road. Eventually, we found our way out of the Road, and viewed the Pokèmon League building with some trepidation. I recalled my Pokèmon and walked in, healing them while buying a LOT of Full Restores, Hyper Potions, and Full Heals. When that was done, I released my Pokèmon one last time. Lucario, Zweilous, Metagross, and Pupitar looked at me.

"All right guys. We're finally here. It took a lot of work, but you made it. I owe a lot to you-especially my life- and it's been an enlightening-and fun-experience working with you. Now let's go!"

I flashed my Gym Badges, and we strode in. A four-story staircase awaited, and we proudly strode up the stairs. At the end, we found our first Elite Four member: Aaron. He introduced himself, "Well. So you're the Pokèmorph everyone's been talking about. I hear you have an undefeated streak? Well, let's see how that holds up against the fury of my beautiful Bug-type Pokèmon!"

My streak held up pretty well. Despite his bragging, his weak Bug-types were easily slaughtered, being at least five levels below mine.

"Well," said Aaron, abashed. "That was incredible. This is the kind of battling I left Sinnoh for. Keep going. Your heart is pure. That is what a Trainer needs."

I nodded briefly, healed my Pokèmon, and we strode past him into the next room. A young girl was waiting there. She bubbled, "Hi! I'm Galina! I'm new, so humor me. Actually, don't! My Psychic Pokemon and I can handle anything you throw at us! Let's start!"

She was blown away too. Zweilous and Metagross made sure of that.

"Wow! Your bond with your Pokèmon is tighter than anything I've ever seen! You'll go far for sure!" bubbled Galina. I nodded again, healed my Pokèmon, and went through to the next Gym Leader.

"Crytik?" I gasped. The Phrygisian turned. "Sam! It's great to see you!"

"How've you been?" I asked as we shook limbs.

"Pretty well. Callisto and I ended up here together. She went on to become a Gym Leader. Something about turning her opponents on with her electric passion, though I think there was a double meaning in there or something. I'm now the third Elite Four member. So what's been going on with you, eh? Nice look."

"Long story short: The Unitologists want to kill me, and I'm supposedly some prophesized hero or that bullshit. You know, the usual. Now let's get this party started!"

The party, sadly, ended very quickly. For Crytik. While Metagross was KOed, Lucario, Zweilous, and my new Tyranitar more than managed to trump his Froslass, Lapras, two Glalies, and Walrein.

"Wow," said Crytik when our battle was finished. "Man, you rock at this! How long have you been a trainer?"

"About two weeks," I answered.

"That is seriously hardcore. I can tell that you know how to use type advantages and combos. But that might not be enough for the Champion. But you know what? I have no doubt that you're going to win! Good luck, man. When you're the Champion, call me. We'll head to a cafe and catch up with each other. See you around."

"That sounds good. Bye, Crytik," I called over my shoulder, heading up the stairs. Midway up, I paused to heal my Pokèmon. Then I entered the next room. A man with orange hair and a cape was waiting for me. Without a word, he sent out his Pokèmon and we began the battle.

The final member of the Elite Four was a Dragon-type user. This made it more difficult for me to win, but thanks to the combined effort of all my Pokèmon, his Dragonairs, Garchomp, Salamence, and Druddigon eventually collapsed, though not without severely draining my Pokèmon.

"… Well done. You are ready to face the Champion," stated the strange member. "Your Pokèmon respect, love, and know you well. You have evidently been through much, including rebellion. Your patience has served you well. Now go. The Champion is waiting for you."

I gave him one last look before beginning the trek up to the Champion's room. Just before entering, I had one last talk with my Pokèmon:

"This is it, guys. You've done a great job this far. Are we going to lose after all of our effort?"

_Seriously? A pep talk?_

_That was unnecessary._

_You really didn't think we were going to try our best?_

_Someone still has flashbacks._

_Get a grip. We all know this battle is going down in history:_

_We're going to become undefeated Champions!_

"Let's do this," I muttered, and stepped through the doorway into a large circular room.

"Hey, Sam. I knew you would make it this far," said Tal. Her head was spiked, and her four arms were noodles.

"Tal? You're the Champion?" I exclaimed.

"The second _undefeated_ Champion, right after Red Ketchum," she boasted.

"I'm really amazed, you know," she continued. "You've had an undefeated streak all the way to the top. I've been the Champion for five years, ever since the Deoxys incident, but I have a feeling that's going to change. Tomorrow's going to be the _sixth_ year in a row. At that point, I'll have broken my own record. Again! But that's beside the point. I think you know what we're going to do?"

"Yeah. Let's do this!" I exclaimed.

"Go, Swampert!" Tal exclaimed. The Swampert roared loudly. I grinned. "Bad move, Tal! Go, Lucario!"

Lucario emerged and simply glared at Swampert, a steely gaze in its eye.

Tal flicked her head, and the Swampert immediately stomped around on the floor. The room shook, as cracks and pillars of rock began to spread from the earthquake, targeting Lucario.

"Dodge and use Close Combat!" I ordered. Lucario leapt up and began pushing off the pillars of rock to avoid touching the ground. It hurtled off one and came down on Swampert with an arm raised high. Tal tapped her foot, and a protective field, which Lucario bounced off of, surrounded the Swampert. Immediately, it faded. Lucario lunged, and before the Swampert could react, delivered a flurry of blows to it. The Swampert absorbed the blows, and then it was suddenly riding a wave of muddy water. As Lucario was washed away, I noticed Tal scratching her ear. Lucario was sent to the other edge of the arena, but it seemed okay. Lucario was then delivering another Close Combat when Tal threw a Full Restore at the Swampert. It broke over the Swampert, revitalizing it, just as Lucario struck. This time, the strikes were critical, and the Swampert collapsed despite the Full Restore. Tal returned it silently and sent out a Machamp. Lucario and Machamp faced off.

"Calm Mind!" I called. Lucario began to meditate, while the Machamp scrunched up its face and delivered a quite startling zombie expression. I jumped back, but Lucario, with its eyes closed, did not notice the Scary Face. I called, "Lucario, Aura Sphere!" In one fluid movement, Lucario stood up, opened its eyes, and sent an Aura Sphere hurtling at the Machamp, which was getting its face to normal proportions. It smacked into Machamp and sent it spinning. The Machamp angrily dashed in and in the blink of an eye, delivered two powerful chops to Lucario. The chops sent it flying, and it slumped against the wall. Undaunted, Lucario got back up, angering the Machamp. To both Tal's surprise, and mine the two lunged and simply began brawling. No moves were used, only punches, kicks and speed. In the end, Machamp got a dual hold on Lucario and applied pressure to its neck. Lucario visibly slumped, and I gasped. Machamp released it, and I ran over to check it. Thankfully, it was just unconscious. I returned it and sent out Metagross.

"Psychic!" I ordered. Metagross narrowed its eyes, and Machamp began to clutch its head. It ran around wildly, slamming into walls, until it finally slammed itself over the head and was knocked out. Tal then released Torterra.

"Hammer Arm!" I ordered. Metagross slammed an arm into Torterra's shell with a powerful crash. Torterra was forced to the ground, and it slowly got back up. Tal tapped her feet, and Metagross released a flurry of green particles, which were absorbed by Torterra. Metagross looked drained, while Torterra looked slightly replenished.

"Hammer Arm!" I called again. Metagross once more slammed an arm down on Torterra's back. Tal tapped her feet, and once again Torterra absorbed Metagross' energy. "Hammer Arm!" I called for the last time. Torterra was slammed into the ground and didn't move again.

"Go, Emboar!" called Tal. The luchador pig leered at Metagross. Metagross leered back. Then it was drenched in flames emitting from Emboar's mouth. I could literally hear metal melting. When Emboar halted its assault, Metagross slumped and then collapsed, steaming. I used a Burn Heal on it and returned it to my Pokèball.

"Go, Tyranitar!" I ordered. Tyranitar appeared and roared at Emboar, who visibly cringed.

"Earthquake!" I commanded. Tyranitar stomped the ground ferociously. Emboar was jolted around and pelted by stray rocks. Then a massive pillar of rock grew to the ceiling, crushing Emboar between it and the ceiling. Emboar fell out, alive but unconscious.

Tal then sent out a strange, cyborg-like bug. It was purple and had a massive cannon on its back.

"It's been a while since I had to use you, eh?" she said to the cyborg. It made a beeping sound in response. "Yes, I know you were bored, but sending you out would make the battle much less interesting. Besides, now you've got a Tyranitar to take out!"

The bug buzzed and ran to meet Tyranitar, which leered at it.

"Run program D0use!" called Tal. The bug inserted a blue disk into a slot on its cannon, and then a gush of water spurted out. Tyranitar was slammed by the water, and appeared visibly weaker. It roared and used Earthquake, which the bug easily dodged. The cyborg then fired another gush of water, weakening Tyranitar further. Without any commands, it performed a critical Stone Edge, which noticeably depleted the cyborg's health. The bug fired one final gush, knocking out Tyranitar.

"Go, Zweilous!" I called out. The dragon Pokèmon appeared, eyeing the bug hungrily.

"Use Dragon Pulse!" I called. Zweilous fired a powerful beam at the cyborg, which weakened it.

Tal called, "Run program Fr33ze!"

The bug loaded a second, pale white disk into its cannon, and a bolt of ice struck Zweilous, which roared in pain and anger. Then it began to glow. I pumped my fist as Zweilous grew into a hulking dragon: Hydreigon.

I had another trick up my sleeve. "Use Flamethrower!" I hurled the TM disk at Hydreigon, which absorbed the data before the disk bounced back. Then it released a gush of flames, which encased the bug. I heard beeps, buzzes, and an electronic screech. When the flames receded, the bug collapsed.

"Genesect!" screamed Tal.

"I'm amazed, Sam! You're the first challenger who's ever made it past Genesect! But this battle isn't over yet! Go, Aggron!" she yelled. The Aggron roared a challenge, and Hydreigon responded in kind.

"Flamethrower!" I called.

"Autotomize!" called Tal. Hydreigon launched a bolt of flame at Aggron, which nimbly dodged.

"Grab it and use Flamethrower!" I bellowed. Hydreigon roared, and dived at Aggron. It correctly anticipated its movements, and grabbed it, hoisting it into the air before using a Flamethrower on Aggron's head. Aggron bellowed in pain, and Hydreigon dropped it. The weakened Aggron bellowed one last time before Hydreigon performed a Dragon Rush on it.

_THOOM_! The Aggron collapsed. Tal returned it with blank look on her face. Then it changed to amazement and joy. She ran up and hugged me.

"Wow. Just, wow. You did it, Sam! You've become the Pokèmon League Champion! I knew when you first showed up with those Pokèmon that my reign was up. You skillfully parried my attacks, used awesome tactics, and you and your Pokèmon successfully became the Champions!"

Tal then said, more calmly, "Head on to the next room."

Behind her, a door opened. I headed through to find myself in some kind of hall of fame.

"Hey, Sam," greeted Leaf. She was sitting in a chair by a machine. I walked up to her and asked, "What're you doing here?"

"I was the Champion before Tal. So when she asked me to come over and enter you in, I couldn't say no. This machine here," said Leaf, motioning to the cylindrical contraption, "will both heal your Pokèmon and record your new status as the Pokèmon League Champion. So let's do it."

I entered the data and watched as my picture, as well as my Pokémon's, appeared on a digital frame off to the side. Suddenly, everything started to break apart and turn white. "What the-" I began, and found myself facing Arceus.

_So, you have become the Champion. Your companion Zoe is entering her Champion data as we speak. You have completed my challenge, so we Legendary Pokèmon shall help you in your quest. _

"What about Leaf and Tal? They saw me disappear in a blaze of light!" I exclaimed.

_I shall speak to them, so that they know you are all right. Now, do you wish to keep your Pokèmon?_

"No," I answered. "They didn't particularly want to join me on my quest. Besides, I think they'll do just fine in the wild."

_Very well. I will now transport you to your original destination._

"Huh?" was all I could say before my vision blurred. Then when it settled, I found myself standing in a cavern, Agent Z by my side, and facing an army of Krikens, all staring at us before they charged.

**Next time: In a _Hunger Games_ tribute, Sam and Agent Z are forced to compete in a massive deathmatch for the Krikens' entertainment. **

**Another two-week wait. Sorry guys. I had a lot to do. Anyways, I'm impressed by how many stories are being frequently updated.**

**PownzerX: Which 'Tales' game do you want me to do? I have no time to choose for myself.**

**Nice catch with the TV reference. But that's not the only reference I have...**

**And yeah, I read some of the Pokèmorph fanfics, and thought that the idea fit in well with the future concept of the story.**

**Brennan4: Thanks, man! But I really don't know how to do that style myself! When my next story rolls around, think I can keep it?**

**To all: How do you feel about fetch quests, Code Lyoko, Jurassic Park, and Daniel X?**

**I'm always accepting OCs. Just send in a description via review or PM(their name, species, powers, personality)!**

**I'm also accepting crossover ideas. Send one in via review or PM!**

**Read and review, folks. We're shooting for the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything!**

**What is it? 42.**

**Why is it 42? (well, we really don't know. We're trying to find the actual Question, first)42!**

**Why do I keep saying 42? 42!**

**Do you want me to shut the hell up? 42!**

**ARandomDay out. Peace!**


	22. It's a Mad, Mad, Mad Game

"Well, this sucks," I observed. Z and I were strapped to the floor with electrobonds.

"Oh, you think?" she snapped. "Let's see, was it the electrobonds, the bruises, or the fact that we're _half naked_ that tipped you off?"

"Probably the electrobonds," I shrugged.

"Jackass. Help me break these things."

"I can't. Remember? Electrobonds prevent electric signals from traveling, _jackass_."

"I know _that_. Listen, if you can shift your arms slightly forwards, the electrobonds will be in contact with your arm spikes, and then you can rip it apart."

I concentrated on moving my arms. Willpower and electricity came through, and I was able to move my arms through the bonds, breaking them.

"Now get my bonds," ordered Z. I replied, "Yes, _Princess_," sarcastically, and smashed them. Z stood up, rubbing her arms. "Let's find my suit and the Level Five queen."

I looked around the room. It was crimson, uneven, and brightly lit. Laser bars blocked our path.

"Laser bars?" smirked Z. "Seriously?" She stuck her hand into the laser. Instead of it being lopped off, the laser pulsed into the limb, growing weaker as she siphoned energy from it.

"And Mom said that it would kill me," she boasted. "Now, let's see if…" Her eyes turned blood red in the split second before they emitted twin lasers.

"Okay. Now…" Z squinted, concentrating. I watched her dully until her skin began to bubble. "Whoa!" I exclaimed, moving forward.

"Don't!" grunted Z, holding out a palm. I halted. The skin began to morph colors, and grow. Soon, a fully fleshed out power suit encased her.

"Nice," I said impressed. "How'd you do it?"

"The suit is organic, so if I have enough energy, I can regrow it. Or something like that. Now let's keep moving."

We kept walking along the tunnels. Soon, our eyes picked out light.

"Should we?" I asked.

"No. It's probably a trap. Is there another way out?" answered Z.

I turned. "Not unless you're religious."

"What?" Z turned and observed, "Oh, shit."

A massive drill spike, large enough to impale a bull Sheegoth, was bearing down on us. "RUN!" commanded Z. We bolted down the tunnel, the drill close behind. No matter how fast we ran, the drill got closer. Z and I put on one last burst of speed and dived out of the exit. The drill stopped, as we backed away from it. As we did, I noticed that my vision was blue.

"Are you okay?" asked Z curiously.

"Yeah. Why?" I answered.

"You're glowing neon blue and you're about to separate."

"What?" No sooner had I said that than a painful ripping sensation, like peeling a bandage, surfaced. I heard a _pop_ and it was gone.

"Whoa!" I exclaimed, in harmony with my new doppelgänger.

"Which personality are you?" I asked.

"I'm personality Evil 3," replied the other me. "Built for cunning and genius. Now, if you'll excuse me…" Evil 3 disintegrated into a mass of blue particles that dissipated into the atmosphere.

"Do you go through that on a daily basis? Oh look. You've got your monochrome complexion back," noticed Z.

"Oh? Come on."

"Wait! Enemies around us! Move!" Even as Z said that, a red burst pierced the back of her neck. She collapsed. I quickly looked around, seeing nobody. Then I grabbed Z and was about to run until a burst flew in and hit me in the face.

"Mrrghhh…" I groaned, opening my eyes. I found myself inside an antimatter cage, inside an arena. Populating the arena were thousands of Krikens.

In other antimatter cages near me were Z, the two bounty hunters Weavel and Sylux, a Vhozon, a golem, a giant bug, and surprisingly enough, a Kriken.

"It's Day Seventeen of the Hundred-Day Stupid Species Festival! Today, we lampoon a curious _Homo sapiens_ custom of sending their offspring to battle each other to the death! Welcome to the Hungry Challenge! " went the loud, scratchy voice of a Kriken, standing atop a hover platform. It continued, "Today, we pit eight of the toughest bounty hunters in the universe for death matches! I'm Wizard, and my companion here-" he ushered to a second Kriken beside him- "is Blunderbuss! You know how this plays out, but for the larvae, here's how it goes down! Blunderbuss, if you would?"

Blunderbuss bellowed, "The contestants are judged, and the ones who you think has the best chance of winning are handicapped in some way! Then they are dropped into a massive holo-jungle and forced to duke it out! The last contestant remaining will win either an audience with Her Highness, the great Hive 1-A Queen, or three million kilos of electrum! Our contestants today are:

505! Designed to be the ultimate weapon, 505 comes equipped with a deadly arsenal! His weapons include the ability to siphon energy, the deadly tail, a built-in Arm Cannon, a Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator plus plasma cutter, and a Morph Ball with Boost and Power Bomb functions! 505 also has multiple sightline features and is the only remaining source of Phazon in the galaxy!

Weavel! One of the Space Pirates' highest ranked generals, below only High Command itself. He wields the Battlehammer, a powerful fission-energized grenade launcher. Weavel can also separate his upper and lower bodies, forming a canine monster and a powerful turret!

Agent Z! The clone of the one and only Samus Aran, Agent Z is a carbon copy of the famed Huntress, complete with organic Power Suit and energy-siphoning abilities! She packs a punch with the Arm Cannon, her Morph Ball and bombs give her an espionage weapon, while her arm spikes and physical prowess make her a formidable close-combat enemy!

Sylux! The mysterious Cylosian whose only public goal is to put the beat down on Samus Aran! To this end, Sylux stole a prototype Galactic Federation armor suit! The suit packs powerful shielding and strength. It also features the Shock Coil, a neutrino cannon that transfers massive amounts of voltage into its enemy. Sylux is deadly at close range! His Lockjaw can deposit a triangular electro-bomb that captures and fries its enemies!

Noxus! The Vhozon who has a pretty stupid ("EXCUSE ME?" yelled the indignant Vhozon) goal of righteousness. Noxus wields the Judicator, a ricochet weapon that fires supercooled plasma. Is that an oxymoron or what? Noxus' Vhoscythe is also pretty pathetic. All it does is swing a couple of easily avoidable axes. This one's going down hard!

Spire! The only remaining Diamont in the galaxy, he is on a quest to discover what happened to the rest of his species. And so are we! Seriously, they supplied us with seventy percent of our electrum! Anyways, Spire uses the Magmaul. This baby fires condensed lava that can burn through just about anything. His Dialanche can stick to any surface at all, and has a powerful separating attack. Eat your heart out, Rocky (part of Day Twenty-three of our Stupid Species Festival)!

Kanden! This ugly-ass bug monster was created in a lab to be what 505 is. His puny brain couldn't handle it and he went insane. Kanden uses the Volt Driver, an electric rifle with insanely fast shots. His Stinglarva is even uglier, but is quite powerful and tough. All in all, this bug should be swatted immediately. Or he'll swat you.

And finally, the disgraced one: Trace. We don't need or want to talk about his abilities. Now, cast your votes! Remember, trolls will be fed to the Lava Groganches!"

The air was filled with buzzing. I looked around at the other 'contestants'. They seemed uncomfortable, and rightfully so. At that moment, the buzzing stopped. Wizard announced, "Well, the votes are in! A staggering sixty percent of you think that 505 is going to win, followed by twenty percent for Agent Z, five for Sylux, five for Trace, six for Spire, four for Kanden, and zero votes for Noxus. Now that the votes have been cast, what handicap shall we entail upon 505? Will it be the Disemboweled? The Impaled? The Toxicity? Or the Facehugger? Cast your votes!"

Once more, buzzing filled the air, only to be replaced by Blunderbuss' scratchy tones.

"All right! The votes are in! The Impaled, with 35 percent of the votes, just edged out the Facehugger with 34% of the votes. Twenty percent of you voted for the Disemboweled, and a measly eleven percent went with the Toxicity!" announced Wizard.

"Now, we will be impaling his chest twice! If you have any complaints, buzz now or forever hold your tongue!"

For the final time, buzzing filled the air.

"AWESOME!" roared Blunderbuss. "Because so many of you complained, we will be impaling 505 in the chest and _throat _instead!"

Wild cheering filled the stadium. I shuddered.

**Oh, cheer up. I've been eviscerated by a blade whose touch is like fire.**

"And how is that supposed to cheer me up?" I muttered.

**IT'S NOT! BLAAARGH! **

"Wow, thanks for your touching concern."

"The stakes have appeared! Get ready to watch the gore!" yelled Wizard gleefully. I watched with trepidation as two antimatter spikes were lowered down. One bar in my cage deactivated.

"THREE," yelled Wizard.

"TWO," Blunderbuss rumbled.

"ONE!" they roared in unison.

"ZERO!"

I watched as the spikes launched forward. The cage, being so small, allowed me no leeway, and all I could do was stand as the first spike went straight through one of my lungs. The worst part was that I couldn't even collapse as the lung filled with fluid. I began to wheeze, listening to a sloshing sound. Then the second spike came down. My vision turned black.

I awoke with an awful pain in my chest and throat, staring up at the blue sky. I could barely breathe. Upon touching my throat, I found that a hole lined with antimatter pierced straight through. Dried blood laced what was left of it. I tried to groan, but no sound came out.

**Terrific. Your voice box was destroyed. Consider yourself mute.**

**WHERE'S THE MUTE BUTTON? AAIRGH!**

Then I rubbed my chest weakly to find another hole on its left side. Probing the wound induced more pain and the realization that my lung was holed. I slowly forced myself to my feet, silently moaning with effort. Then a green thing sailed into view. I watched it dully until it struck the ground and exploded with a _THOOM_, knocking me over and adding cuts to my legs. Disoriented, I vaguely watched the sky until a brown robot came into view. I recognized it as Weavel, but made no effort to move. Then it raised its gun again and aimed it at my head.

_WHRANG!_ Instantly, energy surged through me. I leaped up, knocking Weavel backwards. My vision was blue.

**Good, you're awake.**

**Tell me about it. I thought he'd never activate Hypermode. Okay, Sam. Fire a Super Missile at his torso.**

**What the- is that Dark Samus?**

**Don't sound so surprised. Sam, fire!**

I launched a barrage of rockets at Weavel. He countered with his Battlehammer. Unfortunately for him, by the time his grenade launcher was ready, five hypersonic missiles had nuked the center of his chest. Undaunted, the now twin Weavels- well, one of them was a grenade-launching waist and the other was a canine-shaped torso- attacked. I ripped apart the torso in a burst of energy before annihilating the turret with a souped-up Wavebuster., leaving a Battlehammer behind.

**Holy hell.**

**Don't leave Hypermode. I repeat, do not leave Hypermode.**

"_Why not?" _I wondered.

**Because it's the only thing keeping you alive.**

"_Wait! You can hear my thoughts!"_

**Clearly. Now integrate the Battlehammer and let's move.**

I heard Wizard's voice booming, "Wow! Weavel just got screwed! But it looks like adrenaline is the only thing keeping 505 on his feet. Meanwhile… Agent Z and Spire are facing off, while Trace, Noxus, Kanden, and Sylux wander around. Blunderbuss, if you would?"

"Agent Z dodges a Magmaul bolt and retaliates with a Super Missile. Ouch! That's gonna leave a mark! Wait, the Dialanche is rolling up into the canopy! Z is looking up, but wait- Oooh! The Dialanche slams into her from behind. Didn't see that one coming, now did you? Z is getting up, although one of the spikes on the suit is broken. She appears to be in pain. Hint hint!"

"Looks like Spire took the hint," added Wizard. "He's aiming his shots at the arms, and wow! Look at that precision! Seems we've sold our golem short! Z is lying on the ground. Spire is approaching to finish her off. In my opinion, always kill from a distance. You never know if the enemy's cheating you."

A loud _BOOM_ sounded off. Wizard announced, " Whoa! That's it for Spire! While Z appeared to be incapacitated, she actually was setting up to lay a Power Bomb! Go, Z! And on that note, let's quietly- QUIETLY, YOU STUPID GRUBS- watch our contestants. Blunderbuss and Wizard are out!"

_Why exactly am I staying alive with Hypermode?_

**Your lung is currently being eaten away by antimatter. For that matter, so is your nonexistent throat. Phazon can counter and neutralize it. Also, the Phazon in question is providing your body with energy, which your all but destroyed throat cannot.**

_Good to know. I think I'm going to walk away now._

**I'd like to see you try. Dark Samus is out. War!**

I wondered if I should shoot myself. The pros? Getting rid of the Darks.

The cons? Loss of brain functions. And possibly life.

I was about to pull the trigger when a red burst zapped me in the arm. Self-preservation overrode all other thoughts, and I rolled into a Morph Ball, hiding behind a tree.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," crooned a savage-sounding voice. I uncurled and peeked out from behind the tree. I saw nothing, and got some of my hair(yes, actually, I found that there was a lot of black fur on the top of my skull) scorched off. I ducked back into cover. More red bolts lit up the ground around me. One slammed into the tree, slicing it into two. I dove behind another tree, trying to find the Kriken. Nothing showed up.

**Use the Dark Visor.**

"The what?" I asked as I jumped over a bolt.

**Dark Visor. Think about seeing the invisible.**

"That sounds pretty… stupid…" I replied, trailing off as my vision became fuzzy. Literally, like I was watching a malfunctioning OLED display. Electric lines blurred across my vision. I also noticed a red mass in the corner of my eye. Turning, I saw the Kriken, Trace, perched on a tree limb. His features were masked by a red glow. I took aim and activated the Wavebuster. The electricity crossed the area and slammed into Trace. Spasming, he fell off the tree and landed with a _CRACK_. I came over to examine it. A sniping laser lay there, which I absorbed.

**Congrats. You got the Imperialist.**

As I did so, I heard Blunderbuss saying, "…and that's it for Trace! 505 electrocuted the bastard, and he fell and broke his neck. Hasta la vista, asshole!"

"Hang on, Blunderbuss. Looks like Noxus and Kanden just met up. Oooh! Man! Noxus just got _eaten_ by Kanden, who paralyzed him and then bit off his head, before doing the same to the body! Holy hell!" exclaimed Wizard. "In just three hours, half of our contestants are out of the running! Our remaining candidates are 505, Agent Z, Sylux, and Kanden!"

I broke into a jog, Hopefully, I could find Agent Z, and then we could figure a way out of this hellhole.

**What about your wormholes?**

_My what?_

**Your wormholes. Remember? The ones that you acquired from an X?**

_Hey, yeah!_

**You probably shouldn't.**

_Why not?_

**Aren't you supposed to be getting the Krikens' help?**

_I'd rather get out of here._

**Too late. I disabled it.**

_WHAT? You can f***ing do that?_

**Duh.**

_You bastard._

**You lab freak.**

I began to look for Agent Z. The forest soon gave way to a cave, which I slowly entered. It was pitch black, but my Dark Visor took care of it. I cautiously navigated through the dank tunnels until multiple bolts of electricity came my way. I spasmed silently, and Kanden came into view. It leered at me and raised its gun again. Breaking free of the electricity, I countered with a Wavebuster. The two energies collided. I forced the Wavebuster forward while Kanden lobbed dozens of bolts each second. Both of us forced our way forwards, until our cannons were blocking each other. In that split second, our eyes connected with a look of '_Oh, crap'_ before the caverns exploded in brown light.

I lay in the wreckage, gathering strength. Multiple shards of rock were being forced out of my body. When I got up and rubbed my throat, I found a rock lodged in it. I pulled it out and tossed it aside. The rock splashed into something, which I came to examine. Kanden's remains bubbled there, with the rock and a Volt Driver sitting in its fluids. I looked up. The cave system was mostly destroyed, but the overarching ceiling and external walls remained intact, albeit with a gaping hole in both. I clambered out of the hole into a battleground. Agent Z was hiding behind a pillar of rock, taking potshots at Sylux, whose close combat weapon put him at a disadvantage.

**Try out your Imperialist.**

I activated it and took aim. Sylux was too far away, but a handy zoom feature enabled me to see his helmet and fire. Sylux's head was blown apart.

"And that's it for Sylux! Thanks to 505's integration feature, his Imperialist made short work of him. Now it's down to Z and 505! Who will win?" gasped Wizard dramatically. Z noticed me and leaped up. She examined me, then said, "Can't speak?"

I nodded, pointing at my throat.

"Can't breathe?"

I shrugged.

"Then how're you still alive?"

To that, I pointed at blue sparks of Phazon emitting from my tail.

"Okay. So, I vote that I kill you. Knowing you, you'll probably revive yourself."

I shook my head emphatically and pointed at her.

"Me? I doubt that would work. Just let me shoot you."

I shook my head again.

"Come _on_!"

I shook my head once more.

"Fine," said Z. "Guess we'll have to do this the hard way. Sorry, Sam." Then she flipped onto a pillar and fired rockets at me. I would have groaned, but I couldn't. So I had to settle for dodging the rockets and shooting her the finger. Z refused to be goaded by it. She just kept firing rockets from her perch at me. Most of them, being heat-seeking missiles, hit home. I tried to get in a few Imperialist shots, but they all hit her missile barrage. At this point, I was getting tired. The Phazon burst was wearing down and my legs were starting to shriek in pain. Wizard noticed it too, calling, "Well! It looks like the end of the road for 505! His adrenaline is fading, and with it, his chances for survival. Agent Z isn't showing any signs of letting up, not from… her perch?" I peeked around the corner. Z wasn't on her pillar anymore. I silently cursed and began spinning around, trying to find her. Then, of course, I looked up and two really sucky events happened. Z was there and fired a missile at me at the exact same time that Hypermode deactivated. _BOOM_!

I slowly returned to consciousness, noting wryly that I was getting more rest by being knocked out than sleeping. My head ached, my throat ached, and my lungs ached. I found myself on the ground, being dragged along by Agent Z. I rubbed my throat to find a hole. I rubbed my lungs to find a hole. I rubbed my head and swore that it felt dented.

**Power up before you go into cardiac arrest. At the current rate, that'll be in three minutes.**

_Thanks for the notice,_ I thought. _FOOM!_ Z looked down and noticed me, dropping me with a _thud_. I got up and glared at her. She shrugged. "Hey, don't knock it. While you were sleeping, I got that audience with the Level Five Queen. After hearing about Dragonfly's plea, she mobilized the Kriken shock troops to head to Bilium. Apparently the Krikens owe the Chozo something big. Then I went back to the arena and picked you up. I'm actually kind of surprised you woke up. Most unarmored species would've been killed by that."

_You thought that was going to kill me? What the hell!_ I mentally screamed.

"Come on, voice box, we're getting a ship and returning to Norion."

_Voice box? Are you mocking me? _I groaned.

"Good work," said Samus, pacing in front of us, back on Norion. "You successfully allied us with the Kriken forces _and _Pocket's Pokémon, and with only minimal damage."

_Minimal?_ I thought. _My voice is gone forever, because apparently antimatter cannot be removed. And I have to stay in Hypermode forever, unless I want to go into cardiac arrest. I'd like a vacation, thank you very much._

"Agent Z, I need you to raid a Unitologist base. 505-"

_Wait, now everybody's calling me 505?_

"-you and Ghor are going to a space station called the Sprawl, orbiting a moon of the planet Saturn. One of our operatives is there, and she recently transmitted a log that tells us she has something to help neutralize the X. I need you and Ghor to retrieve the operative unharmed. Got it?"

I shook my head, and hacked a computer. A voice boomed out:

**The Sam wishes for you to know that he wishes for a break.**

"Oh? Give me one reason why."

**The Sam wishes to inform you that due to antimatter impalement, his very life depends on keeping Hypermode active, which can and does wear out.**

"Sucks to be him. Either go, or I use you for target practice." Just to prove the point, Samus pulled out an electromancer gun. I glared at her.

"Hey, Samus, I'm here. Ready for the-" The robot Wotan walked into the room.

"Er, is this a bad time?" he asked.

"No," answered Samus, still pointing the gun at me. "Grab 505 and head for the Sprawl. You know the coordinates?"

"Um, yeah."

"Then go! " Z suddenly shoved me at Ghor, who grabbed me by the arm and dragged me down to the docking bay. He threw me into a ship, and leaped in, sans armor. "Let's go!" called S-Ora, the Luminoth.

"On it!" called Ghor. He turned on the ship, and it blasted off.

**Next time: Sam and Ghor enter the Sprawl, but find themselves having to deal with blood relations, family ties, and an army of zombies.**

**Question of the chapter: How do you feel about Half-Life, Sonic the Hedgehog, Portal,Tales of the Abyss, fetch quests, and Ben 10?**

**Another 10 day wait. Sorry guys. I have a lot to work on besides the story.**

**Sam's impalement was actually written just for DarkfireDragon28. He complained about not seeing more impalements.**

**I'll see what I can do about a Tales crossover chapter. It depends on your feelings about fetch quests.**

**Hoping to see updated stories real soon!**

**We're shooting for 44 reviews. (Hopefully we'll get 45!)**

**I want CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM in them, praise, OC submissions, or crossover ideas.**


	23. Return Of The Space Squid

The entire trip was annoying. A panel on the Wotan's chest kept beeping. And beeping. And beeping. Constantly. Nothing for hours except the glow of Hypermode, the controls, and an incessant beeping noise. To top it all off, when Ghor had chosen a ship, he had chosen a ship whose hyperdrive needed repairs. The robot was completely out of it, but for the next eighty-four hours, I was forced to listen to an awful beeping sound. When we landed on the Sprawl, I smashed a hole in the cockpit and leaped out, gasping inaudibly and kissing the ground. Then I looked around. A large argon sign read: "You'll Never Leave The Sprawl". Of course, since some letters were darkened and others were in the wrong places, I assumed it was just some pranksters.

"Some welcome," commented Ghor. I glanced back at him. At that moment, his eyes flashed and he robotically intoned, "Operative figure," and then projected an image that I recognized. It looked like Melissa Bergman, the android who spaced me through an airlock. And then, all of a sudden, I was sucked into a flashback:

_**I run through the Sprawl. A girl about my age, who I recognize as Tal, chases me. I smirk and leap a good ten feet into the air, clinging to a pipe as Tal stops beneath me, clearly confused. I swing my way down the pipe, passing a few people, until I see Melissa Bergman. I let go, landing softly behind her before tapping her on the shoulder. She whirls around, and upon seeing me, smiles, saying, "54M, you know not to sneak up on me like that. Where's T41?"**_

_**I reply, "Back in the Residential Sector. We were playing tag." T41 is the official name for Tal. Mine is 54M. Unofficially, we're Tal and Sam. Bergman responds, "Well, why'd you come to me?"**_

_**I shrug. "I just passed by you on accident."**_

"_**There you are!" I turn around and see Tal, running close behind. **_

"_**Bye!" I say hurriedly to Bergman, before leaping back onto the pipe and crawling into a duct.**_

"HEY!" rumbled Ghor, suddenly shaking me. "Are you okay?"

I nodded once.

"Sorry about that," he said. "Let me guess, you had a flashback?"

I nodded again.

"Again, sorry. I tend not to display images because it requires venting some gases that mess with your head. Come on."

I followed Ghor into the Sprawl. It really was a sprawl. Of death. Bodies lay everywhere. The area was in a general state of devastation. "What in the world?" gasped Ghor. I walked forward, keeping my gravity hand up. It turned out to be a wise choice. As I rounded the corner, a Necromorph shambled into view. It saw me and tried to lunge. I blasted it back with a gravity pulse, lopping off a limb, which I then used to cut it down the middle. I returned to Ghor to find him trying to shake another monster off. A quick gravity pulse took care of that. He looked up and said, "Thanks. What were those things?"

I looked around for a computer. There was one on the wall. Quickly, I crossed over to it and hacked in.

"**The 54M wishes for you to know that he has encountered these monsters before, on Research Station Ravenholm. They're called Necromorphs."**

"Really?"

"**Yes, really. They were being controlled by a space squid."**

"A… space squid?"

"**Yes. The 54M wishes for you to get that ugly-ass expression off your face and help him find the-"**

_POP!_ The terminal sparked once and then darkened. I slammed my fist down and was rewarded with a string of quieter _POP_s.

"Here, let me see that computer."

I exited the terminal and waited for Ghor to do whatever it was that he wanted. Soon, he looked up again. "Okay. It looks like Madeline Bergman- the operative- is in Research Lab C. Luckily, we're standing outside Research Lab E. Oh, by the way, it looks like you managed to disable the communications feature for every terminal in the Sprawl."

I turned and spotted a door. Entering, I found myself in a spotless white lab. Looking at the floor, I noticed that some glass was shattered. Before I had time to think about it, a yellow blur leaped from behind a table and latched onto my face. I stumbled backwards, trying to pry the thing from my face. It kept jerking back and forth in a matter that really freaked me out, even as I wrestled with it. Then it jabbed its tail down my throat. I gagged, feeling something squishy slide down. Then I was able to rip the thing off, slam it to the floor, and use a beam shot to put a hole in the monster. As I was observing its scorpion-like appearance, Ghor entered the room and spotted me, along with the thing. He asked, "What happened?" I pointed to the scorpion and then to my face.

"Ah."

We moved through the lab, careful for anything else that might try to violate my face. Luckily, nothing else was in the room. When we entered the next lab, a voice blurted, "Activating gamma-ray sterilization process."

We were bathed in a red glow, which soon vanished.

"Beginning brain scan," came the voice.

The door to Lab C was locked, but I quickly hacked it. The door opened to reveal Bergman shooting at a Necromorph. I fired a gravity pulse at it and then a few Beam shots at its limbs, putting it to rest. The woman looked over and visibly cringed. Behind her, a young girl floated inside a stasis tank, wearing nothing but a bikini for modesty. I walked over to Bergman. She sighed. "Hello, 54M."

I stopped, intrigued at how she recognized me.

"In case you're wondering, I've been reading your brain scans. I'm sorry for that, but it let me confirm your identities…are… are you okay?"

I nodded. "Thank god," Bergman sighed. "You have no idea what it's been like. You were my pride and joy. But when you disappeared fifteen years ago… Where have you been? And what happened to you?"

Ghor answered, "He was in a Pirate base. And then, apparently, went across the universe."

"Amazing. I can only thank providence that you're still with us. I hope T41 is doing well on Pocket?"

I nodded again. Bergman gave a wan smile. "I would love to hug you, but all that Phazon would probably kill me on contact. Now, on to business. In my last report, I said that I had something to counter the X."

**Aww, how cute. A family reunion.**

"Affirmative," said Ghor.

"Well, as you probably guessed, the counter is the girl behind me. Her name is Kari, and she is your genetic sister, 54M."

On cue, the tank opened with a hiss of steam, and a silver stream of liquid poured out before condensing into the girl from the tank, except now wearing jeans and a low-cut T-shirt. She stared at Ghor and me with a bored expression. "Who're these morons?"

"Mind your language! The first 'moron' is 54M, your brother."

"The girl laughed. "He's a fucking dragon who looks like he was attacked by one of your experiments. And he's my brother?"

A Necromorph dropped with a _KLANG_ from a vent, interrupting our conversation. Immediately, Kari and I started towards it. Kari got there first. She reverted to a liquid that immediately swamped the Necromorph before dissolving it. I fake-clapped once with scorn, and looked over to Bergman, with an expression stating, _is that all?_

She continued, "The second 'moron' is Ghor. He and Sam were sent to retrieve us from the Sprawl."

At that, Ghor's body began to vent with a whistle. "Um," he mumbled, "I may have gotten a ship too small for us."

"And you're _sure_ they're not morons?" Kari asked sarcastically.

"Well, the Docking Bay is on the other side of the Sprawl. If we hurry, we can get there before this place is over-AUGH!" screamed Bergman as a Necromorph popped up from a vent and grabbed her. It proceeded to flee with her over its shoulder. I ran after them, Kari and Ghor close behind.

As we ran through a hallway, I swore that the ceiling was getting lower. It got to the point that I was forced to duck through a door. The Necromorph rounded a corner. I halted, and Kari and Ghor slammed into me. "What the hell are you doing?" screeched Kari. "And when did you get so tall?"

I peeked round the corner.

"No need!" Kari liquefied and sloshed around the corner. She returned, saying "There's a horde of Necromorphs there, along with some weird-ass space squid. Mom is nowhere to be seen. On the bright side, there's a load of nitrogen trichloride canisters near them."

I turned the corner, and the Necromorphs saw me. As one, they lumbered towards me. I fired a missile at the canisters.

_!_

I was slammed back by a wave of intense heat, followed by an angry roar and the smell of roasted meat. It smelled delicious.

"Holy shit!" exclaimed Kari. "You just blew up all those canisters? And lived? How? That's like surviving a fucking nuclear explosion!"

"Kari, can you please stop using expletives?" asked Ghor timidly. Kari turned on him, saying, "Give me one fucking reason why I should fucking do that, you fucking tin can."

I fired a pulse that literally separated her into millions of tiny particles. Ghor examined them. "Organic nanites. Brilliant! The only thing with consuming powers rivaling the X!"

Curiously, I reached out and touched one of the nanites. It immediately latched onto my arm, multiplying. As I watched, the mass of nanites seeped into my skin.

**Nanite integration activated. Purging nanobots.**

A mist emerged from me, which dissipated quickly.

**Nanobots purged. Detecting endo-parasite. Parasite cannot be removed without harming host. Beginning gene transfer.**

_What?_

**Hell if I know.**

**It sounds like the nanites have activated yet another mutation.**

_Can't I ever catch a break?_

**Let's see. You're mute, you're the galactic savior, and zombies just captured your 'mom'. No, I don't think you can.**

I returned my attention to the nanites. Ghor was muttering, "…her to normal?"

I tapped him and pointed to my ear.

"Oh! I was wondering how we return Kari to normal."

I fired another gravity pulse. The nanites coalesced into Kari. She was shuddering and her teeth were chattering. "Wha-wh-what was th-th-that?"

"Sam here disrupted your nanites with a gravity pulse."

"A w-w-what? F-f-forget it. D-d-don't do that again."

I turned the corner again to see a swarm of X. I hissed, air escaping through my throat, and turned back.

"What?" asked Kari, stutter gone. She looked around. "That shouldn't be too hard. Watch and learn."

I shrugged and hung back, watching as Kari leapt into the fray. Her arm morphed into a drill, which she used to splatter the X.

"Eat your heart out, Big Daddy," murmured Ghor.

I turned to him, intrigued. When I turned back to Kari, she was grinning ear to ear. Not a single X was in sight.

"Eat your heart out, dragon boy! Now come on! We need to save Mom!" she boasted. Kari then led Ghor and me to a triple fork in the road.

"Okay," said Ghor. "Sam, you take the left path. Kari, the middle. I'll take the right path."

"Hell no. Sam, you take the middle path!"

I looked at her curiously. She explained. "The middle path leads to the fission reactor."

"There's a fission reactor on board? How old is this place?" gasped Ghor.

"I think about four centuries or so," said Kari. "I don't have a radiation shield, and from the looks of it, you don't either. But since dragon boy here was able to take a trichloride explosion without a scratch, he'll be fine. I think."

I was not happy at all about entering the reactor, but before I could relate this, Kari and Ghor were down their respective halls, of which hatches slammed shut behind them. My head dipped as I trudged down the hall. As I walked, it grew hotter, and then I passed a sign that said:

_**DANGER! DO NOT PASS THE LINE FIFTY FEET AHEAD WITHOUT SUFFICIENT RADIATION SHIELDING!**_

Below it was a picture of a mutated skull. My head dipped lower, but I kept going. The hallway led up a few stairs. At that point, the wail of a siren was audible. When I passed underneath a loudspeaker, I looked up at it to find a giant mass of… something dripping from it, muffling its wail. At the end of the hall, as the siren grew louder, I entered a command chamber. The area was filled with corpses, hunched over their terminals. Many looked focused, others surprised. Something must have struck them down instantly. The most defining characteristic was that all of them were cut somewhere major, yet no blood spilled.

**I'll bet three hundred credits that you're breathing in a virus. Probably some kind of hexagonal strain.**

With that cheerful thought, I peered through the glass wall on the far end to the reactor chamber. A large arachnid perched on top of it, fangs crunched in. It was literally made of corpses, all fused together to create a zombie spider. A pale yellow gas issued from the reactor. I groaned to myself.

_I'm going to have to go in there, subject myself to radiation poisoning, and kill that thing, aren't I?_

**If you want to proceed, yes.**

_I hate my job._

**Don't we all?**

Resignedly, I blasted apart the wall and leaped down to the reactor. The giant monster roared at me. Immediately, I was struck by a blast of intense heat.

**The clock is ticking. You now have seven minutes and twenty-seven seconds before your hearts succumb to dual radiation poisoning.**

If I could have sworn, I would have. As it was, I channeled all of my frustration at the spider, shooting it with dozens of missiles. The spider simply absorbed all of it. I cursed silently as it spat a stream of corrosive liquid at me.

**Seven minutes exactly.**

I ducked under another corrosive bile stream and came up to fire the Wavebuster. Unluckily, I had switched to a different beam. Luckily, that beam set me up with a powerful flamethrower. The arachnid reeled back as I aimed a stream of flames at it. It then crawled up, out of range.

**Six and a half minutes.**

The spider, from its vantage point, spat more bile, hitting the reactor and causing part of the shielding to dissolve.

**Five minutes.**

_What? What happened to six?_

**The shielding died, exposing more radiation.**

I swore silently again, this time using a Wavebuster. It reached the spider, but had no effect. In response, the spider spat more acid, dissolving the shielding even more.

**Three minutes.**

I swore and glanced over at the reactor. Two fuel rods stuck out, and I noticed that the spider stayed away from them, even as it was fifty feet away.

**If you do what I think you're doing, you'll have one minute.**

_I can deal with those odds._

I pried the fuel rod from the reactor, then hurled it like a javelin at the spider. It struck with a _SQUOMPH, _and the spider squealed in pain. I could see chunks of flesh heating up before vaporizing. I grabbed the second fuel rod and threw it at the head. _PHUMPH!_ The spider had time for one last squeal before its head dissolved. The body fell into the reactor, vaporizing with a _FOOM_. I leaped out of the reactor room and searched for a shutdown switch.

**Hack it! Quick!**

I slammed my fist down onto the keys. The tendrils snaked out, searching for an override command.

**Twenty seconds…**

I abandoned my efforts and scanned the chamber. On the far end of the room, a thick, radiation-proof door awaited. I bolted over to it and began to force the door open.

**Ten… nine…**

The door jammed.

**Eight… seven… six…**

I fired a missile, causing the door to slam inwards. I leaped through.

**Five…four…three…**

I fired a second missile at the door to close it.

**Two…one…**

The door slammed shut.

**Zero. Thank the goddesses.**

I sighed silently with relief, sinking against the door. I closed my eyes for a few minutes to rest up, then forced myself once more to my feet.

Once again, fate decided it liked situations where I was more or less boned. I found myself at a dead end. A shaft in the floor led away, but it was filled with water. Wastewater from the reactor. Highly radioactive.

**That stuff contains unobtanium. Highly radioactive. Unless you can get through that stuff in less than three minutes, it's going to be a watery good night.**

I took a deep breath, just for the hell of it, and dropped in. The shaft leveled out after just ten feet, and I jogged along it quickly. Thankfully, it took me only two minutes to reach a vertical point on the shaft and jump up out of the water. I found myself staring at a bemused Ghor and an amused Kari, who was holding a Popsicle. Kari snorted, "What happened to you, dragon-boy?"

I motioned for a piece of paper and pen, which Ghor found lying on the ground. I quickly wrote something down and handed it to Kari. She read, " 'had to fight Necromorph spider while almost having a radiation-induced heart attack. Then I had to swim through unobtanium-contaminated wastewater.' Tough donuts, dragon boy. I bet you'd like this Popsicle, wouldn't you? Too bad, sucker, I ate the rest." Kari then pulled out a test tube filled with purple liquid, and swigged it. As she licked her lips, she stared at me. "Say hello to my little friends."

The veins of her arms pulsed, before the skin broke, giving way to an army of wasps. I stared. The wasps buzzed at me, trying to sting me, to no avail. "Bad Leonard! No! I said not to touch Ghor!" scolded Kari to one of her wasps, which was trying to sting the Wotan.

"H-how?" asked Ghor bemusedly.

"I found an entire rack of plasmids in the lounge. For you simpletons, here's what a plasmid is. They're essentially genetic additions to grant you special powers. A man named Andrew Ryan developed the first plasmids. His plasmids were unstable, and eventually drove an entire civilization insane. Cool, huh?"

Ghor shook his head. Kari ignored him, saying, "The plasmid I just drank gives me a little thing I like to call a Sonic Boom. Want to see?"

I shook my head forcefully, but Kari had already aimed her hand out at me. Instantly, a loud _BOOM _sounded out, and I found myself slammed into the wall. I forced myself out from the me-shaped hole in the wall, and gave her the finger. She spat a hunk of silver, nanite-infused saliva. I shook it off and angrily stomped down the hall. Kari swaggered down the hall behind me, Ghor following, but keeping a distance. We came to a locked door. Beside it lay two vents.

"Leave this to-" Kari was saying, but I had already blasted the vent cover off and rolled in, as a Morph Ball. I rolled to the other side and hacked the keypad on that end, revealing an annoyed-looking girl and a relieved Wotan. I stared at them, my expression asking, _Coming?_

The passageway, once more, led to a fork. This time, I used a gravity pulse on Kari and used continuous pulses to push the nanite mass down one hallway, which I followed through and had Ghor come down. When we reached the end, I deactivated the pulse. Kari gave me the finger, but I raised my gravity hand and gave her the finger. This had the added side effect of turning a strip of her body to nanites, while the rest of her was trying to move. I gave her a grin, and deactivated the pulse. This time, Kari learned her lesson. She stayed quiet as she led us down corridor after corridor, fighting the occasional Necromorph. Eventually, Ghor spoke up. "This doesn't feel right," he said.

Kari and I gave him a look. "We've barely seen any of the monsters that kidnapped Madeline. Where are they?"

Kari said, "Probably the Specimen Recombination Lab."

"The what?" asked Ghor.

"It's where the bulk of the experiments on board the Sprawl come into play. It's also, I think, where I was created. That's where I've been leading you. And it's right down there." Kari pointed to the far end of the hallway, where a large group of Necromorphs, some fifty-strong, milled about. "Come on!" she exclaimed, hurtling down the corridor. I dashed after her, and when the Speed Booster kicked in, I Shinesparked right through the entire mass of Necromorphs, leaving Kari and Ghor in the dust. I smashed through the door and hit a large mass, bouncing off and killing the Shinespark. Kari and Ghor rushed up. "Showoff," Kari complained. Ghor was too busy stuttering, "G…g…ghost! But, that can't be! It defies all known logic! Algorithms overloading, processor busy! CPUoverheat,cannotcompute,rebootnecessary!" Ghor then shut off. I looked up into the eyes of the ghost from Ravenholm. It leered at me.

**Look away! Quick!**

I averted my eyes. Kari simply fired a Sonic Boom at him.

"SON OF A BITCH! WHO DID THAT?" it roared. "YOU WILL FACE THE WRATH OF PHANTOON!"

"Shut up, Casper!" taunted Kari.

"CASPER? YOU DARE CALL ME THAT RIDICULOUS _FRIENDLY_ GHOST? OF ALL THE NERVE! I WILL ENJOY STEALING YOUR FACE BEFORE I RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!" Phantoon bellowed. I looked up. Behind Phantoon, Bergman could be vaguely seen encased in a cocoon, her head sticking out. When she saw us, her face lit up. Then it darkened as moans arose from around the room. I looked around to see hordes of Necromorphs shambling towards us. Ghor was useless. He was quietly babbling source code while his processors tried to reboot. Kari roared, "Keep the Necromorphs away from Mom and me while I deal with Casper!"

I nodded once and then began a dual assault. My gravity pulses slammed Necromorphs together and dismembered them while a flamethrower filled the air with the smell of meat. As the Necromorphs were disabled, they began to morph into X. The X conglomerated into a larger, flashing X, which threw itself at Madeline. I got between them and absorbed it. I then quickly used a Necromorph arm to cut Bergman free of the cocoon. While she shook necrotic flesh off her body, I saw Kari drilling right into Phantoon's eye. It bellowed furiously. Kari then managed to pull the eye right from the body. Phantoon had time for one last angry roar before it and the eye dissolved into a humongous X. While Kari dealt with that threat, I had to keep Ghor and Bergman away from the X that the larger one kept emitting. Finally, Kari managed to crack the large X's shell and absorb it. The remaining X immediately dissolved into ectoplasm. Kari then threw herself into Bergman's arms, hugging her and sobbing quietly. I turned away to see that Ghor had successfully rebooted. "What did I miss?" he asked.

Madeline led us through the now Necromorph-free Sprawl to the Docking Bay, where a medium-sized cargo freighter, large enough for ten, awaited. We quickly got in and took off.

"So what's Norion like?" asked Kari for the fourteenth time to Ghor. He sighed and manually deactivated himself. Kari turned to me. "Can't you talk?" she asked. I shook my head and waved her off. Just then, the ship shuddered and the lights turned off. I motioned for Kari to wait while I went to the cockpit. Inside, Bergman, while piloting, was clearly disturbed. I tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around, eyes wide with fear. When they saw me, the eyes returned to normal, though she distanced herself from my Phazon quickly.

"We've been boarded by a Space Pirate transport!" she exclaimed. At that moment, a shriek came from the cargo bay, followed by the unmistakable sound of a gravity pulse and the sounds of Zebesian chortling. We rushed into the cargo bay to find the outer hatch of a Pirate transport separating itself from a hole in the cargo freighter. I knocked Madeline out of the room at the same instant that the vacuum of space came through the hole. The hatch from the bay closed off. I briefly thought about letting Kari get captured by the Space Pirates. On the bright side, less of Kari. On the downside, an effective Pirate weapon, the loss of a Coalition weapon, the loss of my sister and the loss of Bergman's daughter. I was about to let the ship leave when an image of Kari hugging Bergman floated into my mind. I sighed inaudibly before leaping through the hole into the vacuum of space. The Pirate transport could be seen preparing to jump to warp. I fired a rocket behind me to gain momentum and reach it. When I connected, I stuck my tail into the hull and clambered through a maintenance hatch an instant before the ship warped.

**Next time: Sam must search a Space Pirate base for Kari, but naturally, High Command isn't letting its newest superweapon go that easily.**

**Well, the update was only about a week's wait. Good, right? Plus, the story reached a milestone! 1,260 people have read the story as of 4-13-12[of which I have only been about forty]! **

**birthdefect: Sorry, but when Sam gets laid, it isn't going to be by a demon hooker. I am very clear on that. But tell me, which Castlevania specifically has: a very science-fictiony theme OR a very old-fashioned theme?**

**Cardcopternicole: All right! Sonic the Hedgehog is one of three chosen crossovers.**

**PownzerX: Tales of the Abyss is the second crossover! **

**Next question: How would you feel about Generator Rex?**

**Still going for one more crossover. Why, you ask? If you have a FanFiction account[and are in the mood for spoilers], PM me with the subject title: "505 Spoiler"**

**6 reviews for the last chapter? Wow! We already passed the benchmarks for Chapter 24! Now we're going for a half-century! Reviews, however, should either have suggestions[for OCs or crossovers], ways to improve, or praise[can't get enough of the latter]!**

**As the summary says, always accepting OCs! For now, anyway. If you want, review or PM me with their name, description, powers, personality.**

**ARandomDay out. Peace!**


	24. Space Pirates of the Caribbean

My teeth rattled, unprotected from the space warp in the maintenance hatch. Thankfully, it soon settled, and was replaced by the rumbling of touchdown. When the rumbling ceased, I opened the hatch slightly and peeked out of the ship. It was inside a large hangar, and the muffled sounds of rain were audible. When I looked at the floor of the hangar, I found myself sixty feet from the ground, supported on a catwalk, watching a few Space Pirates haul away a carton of nanobots.

_Wait, nanobots?_

The carton clearly read "NANOMACHINE CONTAINMENT UNIT" in bright red on its side. With stunning powers of deduction, I realized that Kari was being held in it.

**Brilliant, Einstein.**

I looked around the hangar again. Numerous Space Pirates patrolled the grounds. The Pirates with the nanites passed through a large set of blast doors, which closed with a rumble.

**Time for a little stealth.**

Carefully, I activated the Imperialist and began to snipe. Its effects were sharply enhanced by Phazon, enabling for rapid-fire sniping. Two Pirates were downed before anyone realized what was happening. Of course, when they discovered the bodies, they crowded around for easy pickings.

_THIUW! THIUW! THIUW! THIUW!_

"Ve're undah attack!" screeched a Pirate with a heavy accent. He then pulled out a wicked-looking freeze bayonet. "De Moth is somevere here! Find him!" He was then instantly shot. I had no time to applaud myself or wonder how they knew I was there, because I had to keep sniping as long as I had the element of surprise.

"Kill de lights!" bellowed another, again with a thick accent. "Use yur night-fission gear!"

The lights went off. Unfortunately for the Pirates, my vision wasn't impaired by darkness.

"Sahr! Reparting mahr casualties!" Did all Space Pirates have these accents?

"Retreat! Immediately!" roared a third Space Pirate. _THIUW!_ Headshot. While he was getting sniped, the other Pirates were retreating. They bolted from the hangar, leaving several bodies behind. Three of which were actually about to open the hatch I was in. I opened the hatch further, pushing away bodies, and stepped out.

**Well, so much for the element of surprise. Better go find your sister.**

I leaped from the catwalk to the floor with a _THUD_. Then I walked to the doors and forced them open into a very strange environment. The entire place was bright orange. Machines, passages, buildings, and everything else had a deep orange hue. As I passed, the rain sizzled on my skin. When I observed it, I realized that all of my skin tones were gone, replaced by a midnight ebony shade.

**Must be another side effect of the mutation.**

_Actually, I like it. _

Of course, in a world of orange, black stood out like a feline in a group of birds. I was forced to slink along walls, hang from pipes, and curl into a Morph Ball twenty times just to reach the door twenty yards away, as Space Pirates were literally flocking to the hangar I had come from. When I passed through the door into an orange hall, a large sign in Pirate language greeted me:

_**YOU ARE NOW ON BASE CARIBBEAN. CARIBBEAN DEALS WITH BIOMECHANICAL MATTERS.**_

Below that, a terminal waited. I hacked into it. Soon, a map appeared in my Combat Visor. I read the map quickly. Nanomachine Storage, where Kari was most likely to be, was on the fifth level. I was on the second. I found it intriguing that the entire courtyard I had recently been in was nothing more than part of an even larger building. A building so large that rain fell from the sky. But I put that thought out of my head when a few Pirates spotted me. They ran off down the hall. I bounded after them, but before I could aim and fire, a hatch closed off behind them. I swore as a hatch behind me shut down.

**Well, once again, the element of surprise is lost. In three, two, one….**

At that moment, a loudspeaker went off. The voice over it bellowed, "Ahttention all Pirates! Da Moth has inviltrated ahr base! He is in Lefel Two, Building Sefen, Corridor Tree! Keel him! Da virst vun to keel him gets extrah rahtionz!"

_What did he just say?_

**Your position, and an incentive to kill you. I suppose the thick accent could just be the translator.**

I sighed and looked around. A handy duct sat on the wall next to me. I scrambled into it, just as hatches opened, and hordes of Pirates streamed through. They basically ran right past me. One of them, though, stopped, and looked at the vent. He popped his head in, and spotted me. He yelled, "Heah! Da-" and then I blasted his head off before crawling down the vent. When I judged it was safe to stop, I halted and checked the map again. The duct I was in led to the fourth floor. From there, I could take another vent to Nanomachine Storage. I began to make my way to the fourth floor. The duct zigzagged back and forth. As I moved through, I could see different rooms through the openings in the duct. At one point, I briefly heard, "to Lefel Nine."

Another voice replied, "But moving it up to Lefel Nine vould mean bringing it neah the Metah Rex."

"I know dat, choo idiot! It's all part of da plan. Ve reprogram da nanites first. Den ve integrate it vith da Metah Rex for an unstoppable var machine! Stop by da Reprogramming Lab on Lefel Sefen to vipe da nanites clean first," stated the first Pirate angrily.

"Is it vise to trust that Fedration technology? Ve are already allied vit da Unitologists. Ve efen gafe dem dat special suit meant for the Experiment 505 Omega to their MH-XB01 project. But for all da benefits ve haf gifen da Unitologists, dey haf gifen us nutting in return. And vy? Dey are using Fedration technology!" replied the second Pirate.

_What did they say? And why the hell can't the translator get rid of that accent?_

**They're planning to wipe Kari like a slate so they can reprogram her to work for the Pirates. Meanwhile, they've allied themselves with the Unitologists, but are reconsidering. It looks like the Unitologists are trying to create a bio-weapon of their own. As for the second question, who knows? Best get to Level Seven, 'cause that's where she's headed.**

I was about to pass when the duct fell open, and I landed in the room with the Pirates. They gawked at me and turned. I quickly neutralized them.

**I wonder why you're not being negatively reinforced to **_**not**_** attack Pirates?**

**Check this out. It seems that he was in the stages of being programmed for that.**

**Ah. It's useful to have a mental tape recorder. Thanks, Dark.**

**No problem. I love hanging out with you in here.**

**Much as it pains me to say this, the feeling's mutual.**

_Can we save this for later?_

**Spoilsport. Just get to the lab already.**

I climbed back into the duct and proceeded to the Reprogramming Lab.

I popped my head out of the duct to see the back of a Pirate head. Before he could turn, I stabbed him. As he slumped, a door that read, "REPROGRAMMING LAB" came into view behind him. I quietly slipped out… and flattened myself against the wall as an unwary Pirate walked by. He was on patrol, but was looking so hard at the floor that he failed to notice anything else. As he passed me, I looked at the door to see that it was completely devoid of any way to get in. Might that Pirate know something? I snuck up and wrapped my tail around his neck. He squeaked in surprise as I tightened my grip. I slowly steered him to the door.

"Ya vant in?" he wheezed. "Heah!" The Pirate pressed his hand to the door, which then slid open. I increased pressure on his neck quickly, knocking him out. Then I grabbed the unconscious Pirate and stuffed him into the air vent. He would be stuck, but no one would notice him. Then I walked in.

"Ah-ah-ah!" snorted a giant purple dragon lounging inside. I took in the laboratory. This was the same lab I had first woken up in. The purple dragon, who I remembered was called Ridley, reclined against the tank that had held me. The roof was repaired as well as the door. Not surprising considering it had been fifteen years. Nanite-Kari hovered inside the tank. I stalked forward, ready to shoot.

"I have four words here that tell me you won't attack. Want to hear them?" Ridley sniggered. I noticed that he didn't have an accent.

"This sentence is false," Ridley stated. I stopped. Something was locking my muscles up. My mind was suddenly filled with paradoxical thoughts:

_If it's false, then it's true that it's false. But if it's true that it's false, it's false. But if it's false, then it's true that it's false. But if it's true that it's false, it's false. But if it's false, then it's true that it's false. But if it's true that it's false, it's false. But if it's false, then it's true that it's false. But if it's true that it's false, it's false. But if it's false…_

_ERROR! ALGORITHMS FAILING! PROCESSOR OVERLOADING! NEURAL NETWORK SHUTDOWN IMMINENT! MOTOR FUNCTIONS CEASED! OPTICAL IMPLANTS FAILING! REBOOTING!_

My vision turned white. When it cleared, I found myself lying on the floor. I stood up uneasily, looking around. Two superconductors flanked me, silver in a world of white. Far above me, I saw Ridley leering at me from an insulated room, standing next to… me?

I realized that it was Evil 3. When he saw me staring, he grinned. Then he flipped something, and his voice came through. "Hello, Sam! Tell me, how do you like the Reprogramming Booth? Oh wait. You can't."

"I must say, Vile, I'm impressed. Your personality really shined through. I didn't expect 505 to burst in here like that. But your knowledge of that paradox… well, brilliant!" Ridley praised Evil 3.

Evil 3 turned back to me. "In case you're wondering how it works, those superconductors will wipe your hard drive clean. While you're in limbo, I will personally erase you, leaving Evil 2-dreadfully evil fellow, quite nice if you're also evil- to take your place. Enjoy your last few minutes on Urtraghus!"

**Quick! Use the Plasma Beam on those superconductors!**

_Why?_

**Simple! It'll heat them up, causing them to shut down!**

_How do you know this?_

**I told him. **

**Yes, thank you.**

I switched to the Plasma Beam, and then began to shoot. Nothing happened, even juiced up as they were.

"Thought you'd try that," boasted Evil 3, "so I took the liberty of lowering the temperature in the Booth to fifty degrees Kelvin. Not enough to kill you, but enough to keep those magnets cool no matter what you throw at them."

**Dammit! **

**Chill. Sam, use the Annihilator Beam. You know, from Dark Aether?**

_How did you get so…_

**Sane? Amazing what a constant supply of Phazon will do to you. Now, concentrate on the glass above you!**

I fired concentrated bursts of energy. They were at once like and not like sound. I put that conundrum aside before it could disable me, and watched the magic. The Phazon-enhanced bolts collided with the glass, shattering it. Evil 3 and Ridley both fell into the chamber. They landed gracefully, and stalked towards me. A hum interrupted them.

"Damn! Ridley! Deactivate this!"

"I can't!" Ridley bellowed. "The controls are up there!"

"Fine!" Evil 3 dashed up to the superconductors and began to rip them from the wall. As he pulled the first one out, the hum subsided.

"Nice work-" began Ridley, until Evil 3 slashed through his wings with the jagged piece of magnet. Ridley bellowed in pain. "Your usefulness has clearly expired," Evil 3 quipped smugly.

"You conniving bastard! I'll roast you in the fires of hell!" Ridley roared.

Evil 3 smiled and said, "See you there."

He leaped into the air. Ridley exhaled a plume of plasma, which had no effect on Evil 3. He took the opportunity to impale the magnet through Ridley with so much force that it went through the top of his skull and exited his jaw. Ridley had time for one "you… son of… a...URGH!" Then he collapsed. Evil 3 stared scornfully at his corpse before glancing over at me. He studied me intently for a minute, before speaking. "Interesting. A mutated _internecivus raptus_ queen larva has implanted itself. Normally I would laugh gleefully, but you seem to have bonded with the larva. And if my speculations are correct-which they usually are- the fact that the larva has not yet spawned means that instead of absorbing your genetic code, you have absorbed its. I hope to see what that comes out to, so I think I'll let you leave. Oh yes, and your sister is back in the control booth. She's a keeper."

Evil 3 sardonically bowed before transforming into a cloud of blue particles. The particles hovered in the air before flying out of the room. I took a moment to look at Ridley's corpse. It was dissolving into an X Parasite. I quickly took it down.

**Hmm. If that was a clone, then the Space Pirate High Command has been infiltrated by X Parasites.**

_How did you figure that out?_

**Simple. Some scanning and deductive reasoning. Now grab Kari and let's get out of here.**

I Screw Attacked out of the room, reappearing in the Reprogramming Lab. The tank was right next to me. As I searched for a way to open it, a loud grinding noise could be heard. I stopped, puzzled.

**This lab just moved!**

_What?_

**You heard him. It looks like we're on Level Nine. The lab must be on an elevator track.**

I went to work on the tank. A quick hack later and the liquid drained into a nanomachine storage unit. I opened it up and the nanites reformed into Kari, who was jittering like she was on an adrenaline rush.

"S…so…c-c-c-cold! Augh! I hate cold! Let's go!" she bellowed, shaking me spastically as her right arm transformed into an electric riot cannon.

I shoved her off and tried to calm her down. She mellowed slightly, but was still clearly on edge. I grabbed her by the riot cannon and led her out of the room.

_Whoa!_

Instead of a hallway, I found myself and Kari facing a platoon of Space Pirates inside a massive hangar. Behind them, a massive, twenty-five meter reptilian slug-beast waited. It leered down at us, while the Pirates bellowed, "Glory to da Space Pirates! Glory to Kraid!"

There was no way we could take down so many Pirates, so I turned and ran, dragging Kari along. We passed several covered machines, and more in varying states of disrepair. Then Kari stopped. I turned impatiently.

"Holy mother of fuck," she whispered. I looked up. A massive, twenty-five meter tall grey bipedal war machine towered over us. On its left side were a plethora of nuclear bullet launchers, perched atop an arm, on the end of which was a drill. Above the cockpit was a massive EMP. On the right were a series of tanks, containing multiple kinds of toxins, leading to a hose attached to a three pronged claw.

"Give me a moment to assimilate it!" Kari shrieked, running for the war machine. I groaned inaudibly as I turned to shoot the Space Pirates. They swarmed me, and it was all I could do to keep them five feet away. Then I heard a _THUD! _

"Oh no! The Metah Rex has been activated!" screamed a Pirate. They retreated, and I turned to see the war machine activated. It was now black and bright green. In the cockpit, Kari grinned. "Let's dance, Jabba!" she yelled.

Kraid didn't move. His smile grew wider. Then he lurched forward to meet the Metal Rex. The two titans clashed. Kraid's arm slammed against the Rex's arm in a massive arm-wrestling contest. The Rex's drill struggled to penetrate Kraid's skin, causing Kari to swear ferociously. Kraid took the moment to laugh. Then Kari fired multiple nuke-bullets into his gullet. Kraid gagged. Blue blood spurted from his three navels, followed up by several spikes that impaled themselves in the Rex's armor. Kari swung the drill spike at the navels, gouging into them. In response, Kraid bit down on the Rex's arm, exposing circuitry. Kari forced open Kraid's mouth and spewed toxins into it. Kraid stumbled backwards, firing more spikes that slammed into the Metal Rex. He then surged forward and chomped off the Metal Rex's right arm. The hose began to spray toxins everywhere. I moved back to distance myself from the chemicals. The Metal Rex fired more nuke-bullets into Kraid's navel, causing him to roar in pain. Bad idea. The Metal Rex jammed its drill into Kraid's mouth. Then it turned it on. Blood, muscle, and flesh flew as Kraid's face was torn apart. When the drill shut down, Kraid's now headless corpse toppled over. It dissolved to reveal a mass of X. I leaped up and absorbed them all.

"That was AWESOME!" Kari cheered. She turned the Rex to face me, although I was more looking up then facing it. "Let's go!" she told me, before blasting a hole in the wall and jumping out. I followed her through the hole to land inside another hangar. A group of Space Pirates attempted to stop us, but Kari blew them away. Meanwhile, I looked around and found a nice cargo ship, large enough for the Metal Rex and us to fit in comfortably. Kari steered the behemoth into its cargo bay, while I took the controls. We lifted off and soared away from the planet. I watched the orange world shrink from view, and then activated the hyperdrive. Along the way, I thought about what Evil 3 had said.

With a working hyperdrive, we made it back to Norion within hours. I quickly found a place to land, and Kari piloted the Metal Rex out and into the war-torn streets. Pirates and Coalitionists fought ferociously, but Kari's walking tank was enough to carve through the Pirate's ranks and, with some directions from grateful Coalitionists, back to the base. We entered the hangar to the shock and awe of dozens of Coalitionists from dozens of planets. When Kari leaped out, the Metal Rex immediately deactivated.

**Must have coded to her bio-scans. She now controls a Pirate mecha. **

**Eat your heart out, Gundam!**

Kari followed me into the control bay. Madeline was there. When she saw us, she immediately embraced Kari.

"Mission complete," stated Samus. "You also got us a Pirate mecha?"

"It's coded itself to my biosigns," Kari boasted.

"Right. Now, Madeline. We need to mass produce those nanites and get them into every Coalitionist ASAP. Got anyone else who has nanites in them?"

Reluctantly, I raised my hand. Samus turned to me. "You _again_? Fine, whatever. We can do this. Come on, you need to hop into a stasis tank."

I shook my head. Samus grinned slightly. "I can work with that." She pulled out the electromancer and shot me.

_ALERT! ELECTROMAGNETIC PULSE STRIKE! NANITES SHUTTING DOWN! CORE PROCESSOR SHUTTING DOWN! REPAIRS COMMENCING! _

My vision turned white yet again. This time, it stayed white. I found that while in the whiteness, I couldn't move, feel, see or hear. So it was just me and my thoughts. I began to wonder what the larvae parasite inside me was doing. Was it killing me from the inside out? Or was I killing it from the outside in? Was Space Pirate High Command now completely dominated by X? What were the Chozo and Luminoth doing? Speaking of which, where was L-Una? I felt guilty that I had forgotten him. As the feelings of guilt subsided, so did the whiteness. Slowly, my vision returned. I experimentally flexed my arms. Strangely, my arm cannon was up. When my vision was fully returned, I found myself wired to a mass of sensors and tubes. But I wasn't in a stasis tank. I was strapped down by electro-cuffs to an operating table. And out of the corner of my eye, I could see surgeons wielding instruments designed to slice me open like an apple.

**Next time: Sam must escape a Unitologist base with his life. But that's going to be a problem, seeing as how they're determined to eviscerate him in the name of the X!**

**ARandomDay here. Sorry the chapter took two weeks. I was busy reading two of the greatest Metroid fanfictions ever: 'Fusion of Destinies' and 'Fusion of Destinies II'. Wildest of all: they're Harry Potter/Metroid crossovers. Hold on to your butts!**

**PownzerX:$0u/\/[)5 71I3 |7/\/ !**

**zucintruelordofthesaiyans: Hey, _I_ didn't call Link a crossdresser. _Sam_ called Link a crossdresser. That's perfectly reasonable. No self-respecting twenty-_X_'th century teenage boy is wearing a skirt(Well, except metrosexuals).**

**supersonic50: Whatever the fans say.**

**Two of the three crossovers have been selected. The final crossover choices are:**

**Half-Life: Sam must find the G-Man while helping Gordon and Alyx to take down City 17.**

**Dragon Ball Z: The washing machine from hell explodes. The X, entering the dimension, take the form of DBZ's greatest villains(Cell, Frieza, Majin Buu)forcing Sam to enlist the help of the Z Fighters, thus creating another DBZ timeline.**

**Your own choice(name)**

**Which will you pick?**

**Shooting for 56/60 reviews! Reviews must either: answer the above question, send in OCs, have suggestions for improvement, or praise. **

**ARandmomDay out. Peace!**


	25. Escape the Room' Games

_Oh my God, they're going to cut me open like a melon!_

**Duh. See if you can move around before death by organ donation.**

As I struggled with the cuffs, the surgeons calmly strode over to me. As they walked, I observed them. The first was a human, and the second was a Mon Cal. As they examined me, the human stated emotionlessly, "It's awake."

"Paralyze it. That way it can't move or attack," replied the Mon Cal.

They picked up a bottle of a clear liquid.

**Oh my god.**

**Is that…?**

**It is!**

"_It's what?"_ I thought, getting more and more concerned.

**Dichloride hydroxium. The most potent poison in the galaxy.**

**One drop of that stuff can kill a bull Sheegoth before it hits the stomach!**

**And they're using it on you! Wow. They really couldn't give a damn about your wellbeing.**

**So by process of deduction…**

**They must be...**

**Unitologists!**

**But how did we end up in a Unitologist base?**

**Must have been a mole in the Coalitionists. They got a hold of you and handed you off while you were unconscious.**

**But that's in the past. What matters is that we- OH SHIT!**

The Mon Cal tipped the bottle, not to my lips, but to the hole in my throat, unconcerned about the antimatter clogging it. Then, he poured the whole bottle down. I stiffened instantly.

"Was that too much?" I heard the human ask. He sounded more concerned about the empty bottle than myself.

"Don't worry, Yorgi. I told you, we still have a few bottles of this stuff. You can take one if you want," replied the Mon Cal. "After the operation," he added. "Now, let's begin."

"What are we supposed to find?"

"Svern communicated with the Great Ones recently. Change of plans. The Great Ones wish for us to extract the parasite larva before it fully mutates this…". He stared at me distastefully, and finished, "beast into an even greater threat. We have to hurry. Who knows how fast the Phazon has sped the mutation."

"Good thing we have PED suits, right?" asked the second.

"It is. Now let's operate." The surgeon took a large laser buzz saw, and sliced right through my chest. And god, did it hurt.

"Good grief! Yorgi! Look at this!"

"I don't believe it! The parasite…. It's fully fused with one of the hearts! Should we remove the heart?"

"No. The Great Ones want the monster alive for reprogramming. We don't know enough about its physiology to determine if removing one heart will kill it. The best we can do is to inform the Great Ones that the parasite has been fused. For now, seal this up. We don't want its filth to contaminate our halls. Then toss it into Cryostorage." The first surgeon walked away. The second glared at me. "Metroid filth," he spat. "Trying to destroy the Great Ones." He picked up a skin-spray, and then began to spray the incision on my chest. Once it was sealed, he tossed me to the ground and dragged me out of the room. Being paralyzed, I was only able to look at the grey ceiling. The surgeon turned into a freezing cold room. I would have shivered if I could move. I heard him opening refrigeration shelves. The sound stopped, and I heard him returning to me. The surgeon picked me up and tossed me into a cryostorage unit.

"Sweet dreams," he hissed, and shut the unit closed.

I woke up to the grey ceiling. Above me was myself-or should I say, Evil 3. When he saw my eyes open, he grinned. "Hello there, Sam. Did you have a nice nap? Yes? Well then, I'm not sorry to have awoken you. You're probably wondering, 'why is he freeing me?' Remember the parasite in your chest? If it's extracted, you'll probably die and I'll never get to see that queen. By the way, the mutation is nicely progressing. Sweet ribbing. Anyway, you're also probably wondering, 'How did he find me?' That's my secret. What's also secret is how I acquired a bottle of antidote, especially when such a thing is practically useless." Evil 3 kneeled, opened the bottle and plugged it to the hole in my throat. When it was empty, he stood back up and tossed the bottle aside. "Now, in forty seconds the poison should wear off. Better get a move on before anyone discovers you. With luck, I'll see you in SR388 for the final confrontation. And one last thing: Call me Max. It sounds better than Vile or Evil 3. Catch you on the flipside!" Evil 3-or Max- disintegrated into a mass of particles and flew out the door, which slammed shut behind him. Twenty-seven seconds later, I was able to move again. Immediately, I leaped up and attempted to shoot the door open. Nothing happened.

"_What the hell?"_

**What the-?**

**That's strange.**

I pried the door open manually and stepped out into a grey corridor. Two paths lay to the left and right, each with their own assortment of doors. I took the left path. The first door I opened was to a lab. The scientists working were too focused on their work to notice me. I quietly shut it and tried the next door. This opened to a closet. I closed it and tried the next door. An Asari was demonstrating a pulse rifle to a small group. One of them, a Bothan, noticed me. I quickly ducked out of sight and began to check the next rooms. They were all labs. The final door was yet another lab. Unlike this one, it had several doors within it. I entered the room, and the door locked behind me. I swerved and tried to open it to no avail. I attempted to hack it, but my tendrils wouldn't respond.

_The hell is going on?_

**Running diagnostics.**

**That's going to take a while. Look around in the meantime.**

I advanced into the room. In the corner lay a stasis tank. On the far end were a group of gene diffusers. Near me sat a group of terminals. I walked over to them. They read, "ENTER PASSWORD". I entered in "greatones" to no avail. A few more X-related passwords later, and I was walking away annoyed that my hacking powers had gone on the fritz. I turned back and entered the number 0 for no reason.

"ACCESS GRANTED" the computer beeped. I gaped.

**Who knew?**

**Occam strikes again!**

The terminal now displayed a list of options:

"PROJECT MH-XB01

PROJECT 54M

STATUS UPDATE

URGENT! SEND TO GREAT ONES IMMEDIATELY!"

I opened the one at the bottom and began to read:

"_Something's wrong with the gene diffuser. It refuses to fire. Until we can get it working again, we cannot implant the fluid chip. Requesting immediate backup systems."_

_-F. Lombardi_

I closed out of it and checked on STATUS UPDATE:

_ERROR: OS COMPROMISED_

_ATTEMPTING TO RETRIEVE FILE /STATUS_UPDATE/_

_FILE COMPROMISED_

_DELETING IMMEDIATELY_

_PURGING VIRUS…_

The terminal froze, then read,

_ERROR 404_

_FILE /STATUS_UPDATE/ NOT FOUND_

Then the terminal displayed the list of options. I clicked MH-XB01. Might it be the suit in the tank?

_DATE: MAR. 10, 20XV_

_This is Head Scientist F. Lombardi here. We've finished implementing the additions to MH-XB01's power suit._

_DATE: APR. 4, 20XV_

_Clearly, we're going to need backup. When we tested MH-XB01 in a combat simulation, it was unstable, shooting as many friendlies as hostiles. We're going to try and instill a sense that we are friends, and the Coalitionists, enemies._

_DATE: JUN. 2, 20XV_

_We've made some progress. MH-XB01 is much calmer now, although it still acts unstable 27% of the time. We're going to implant a fluid chip to remove at least 26.99% of that instability._

_DATE: JUN. 7, 20XV_

_Damn! The gene diffuser's busted. Now we can't implant the fluid chip and Pirate High Command refuses to send us another. I heard that 54M infiltrated Urtraghus. Will that demon spawn never die? All we can do now is ask the Great Ones to supply us. _

Then two options appeared:

OPEN

CLOSE

I assumed that OPEN meant open the doors, so I selected it. The doors stayed firmly shut, and so did the stasis tank, but I heard a hissing noise coming from a small grate in the corner. I swerved around to see a small ball roll from it. The ball uncurled to form a Varia Suit. We faced off, and then the suit charged at me. I jumped out of the way as it launched a missile, which encased the terminals in ice.

**Stay clear of that ice. It's at eighty degrees Kelvin.**

**No matter what species you are, touching ice that's colder than liquid nitrogen is a terrible idea.**

The Varia Suit turned and began firing bright red bursts. I tried to respond in kind, but nothing happened.

"_What's going on up there?"_

**We're working on it.**

"_Work faster!"_

**Wave Beam online.**

**Now shut up and fight!**

I aimed a charged Wave Beam shot at the suit. It jittered as thousands of volts of electricity wreaked havoc with its systems. The visor shut down, revealing green skin and white eyes.

"Watch it!" a voice came from the suit.

I glared at him and gestured at the frozen computers.

"Ah. Yeah, that was probably a bad idea. Where are we?" the thing inside the suit asked.

**Scanning…**

**Target acquired: MH-XB01**

**Subject is 25% Human, 25% Chozo, 49% Metroid, and 1% Phazon. The Phazon in question is a strain of Red native to Tallon IV. The Chozo, Metroid, and Phazon strains are nonnative, indicating genetic modifications similar to your own. The Phazon and Metroid strains react with the subject's circadian rhythm, causing it to mutate between Omega Metroid and humanoid forms once every twenty minicycles. MH-XB01 can drain energy to fuel both itself and its armorsuit, as well as detect other organisms with similar genetic strains. The DNA combinations do not seem to have gone over as well as your own-probably due to your Black Phazon strain- causing mental instabilities within subject. It tends to waver between peaceful and homicidal. Calm words keep it peaceful, while it responds in kind to anger.**

**Scanning…**

**Target acquired: Varia Suit**

**Mh-XB01's Varia Suit is not a proper Chozo suit, instead being a modified Geth suit. How the suit was acquired is unknown. Anyway, the modifications include organic batteries-powered by MH-XB01's energy drain, plasma cannons, railguns, cryogenic missiles with a diffusion effect, energy repulsors, mobility enhancers, boot jets, multiple types of sights, and a kinetic barrier. The barrier is impervious to all non-energy based weaponry, but weak to electromagnetic particles. Beyond the kinetic barrier, the suit's shielding depends on the charge left in the batteries. Once shields are down, the suit is weak to all conventional and non-conventional weaponry.**

"Hey! Are you in there?" asked MH-XB01, waving a hand in front of me. I resisted the urge to shove him, and nodded instead.

"Where are we?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Got a name?" he asked. I nodded.

"What is it?"

I wrote in the air the letters S-A-M. He didn't understand it and asked again, "What's your name? Say something!"

I pointed to the hole in my throat, then to my mouth. I pantomimed zipping it and throwing away the key.

"You can't talk?"

I nodded.

"Well, why didn't you say so?"

I facepalmed, and then, annoyed, gestured towards the door.

"You want to go?"

I nodded.

"Well, I didn't like it here anyway. Let's go."

He blasted the door open to reveal a dozen Unitologists, wielding all sorts of weapons.

**Missiles online! Wavebust those bitches!**

I charged up. The Unitologists snickered. "Aww, he's so cute when he's trying to shoot us. He probably doesn't have the brain capacity to realize we disabled his weapons."

Then they turned serious.

"MH-XB01, kill him."

"No," answered MH-XB01. "And for the record, the name is Matt."

"Take him down!" growled the lead Unitologist.

_Where's that wave beam?_

**We're supercharging it with Phazon. Hold on…**

The lead Unitologist fired an EMP cannon at MH-XB01- or Matt. He stood, immobile, as the suit shut down, imprisoning him in a metal shell.

"Owned!" exclaimed a Unitologist in the back. "When we kill the demon spawn, you're next." Then they turned to me. "Hasta la vista, bi-?" they began to say. Then they noticed my glowing arm cannon.

"FIRE!" the lead Unitologist exclaimed. At that moment, I released the Wavebuster. Black lightning surged from the barrel of the gun, striking the Unitologists instantly. A great flash blinded me. When I was able to see again, I noticed smoking piles of ash where the Unitologists once were.

"Help!" exclaimed Matt, his voice muffled. I quickly looked it over.

**Tendrils reactivated.**

I quickly hacked into the Varia Suit and fed it some electricity. Immediately, it turned on.

"Thanks," said Matt. I nodded and walked out the door, with him following.

We entered a grey corridor. To our left was a sign marked EXIT. To our right was a door marked "Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System Control Room". I made for the exit, but bounced off of an energy field as a voice blared over the intercoms, "ALERT! ALERT! ROGUE EXPERIMENTS ON THE LOOSE! LOCKDOWN INITIATED!"

I grunted.

"Well, guess we'd better go into that control room," Matt pointed out. I followed him in. Surrounded by circles of terminals sat a large supercomputer. I sat at a terminal to try and deactivate the lockdown. Instead, I came across some juicy files:

_SHOW ONLY TO EXALTED DRAGONS!_

_The Great Ones perch in SR388. They have protected their home with three fields. Of course, to get in or out of the holy land, they must deactivate the fields. To this end, they have constructed three keys. Each key corresponds to a shield generator. You might think, 'why not just destroy it?' In their infinite wisdom, the Great Ones have constructed them from antimatter. While contained, and explosion could easily take out the entire system the generator is in as well! The shield generators are located on three planets. These planets are as follows:_

_Earth_

_Auldrant_

_/Data corrupted/_

_/Virus detected/_

_/Failsafe deletion protocols activated/_

_/Three hundred seconds to complete data wipe/_

I scrolled past the code to reach the very end of the document.

_What is so special about the locations is that they are all in separate universes. The Great Ones' powers know no bound!_

_Glory to the Great Ones!_

_/Data deleted/_

I stepped away from the computer, and watched as lines of code replaced the data, before disappearing. I heard the main supercomputer sigh and deactivate.

"Let's go," said an impatient Matt. He walked out of the door. I caught up to him as he reached the EXIT sign. The energy field was now down, and we walked out the doors…

Into a war zone. Bullets and energy bolts were flying. Screams, shouts, and weapons firing punctuated the air.

"ATTACK!" screeched Matt. I saw him charge into battle, killing dozens-if not hundreds- of people. I quickly looked around, trying to see anyone I knew. The area was what looked to be a large plaza at one time. Now it was completely wrecked. Derelict buildings lined the main street, providing holes for sharpshooters to fire. As I took it all in, a bone-jarring _THUD_ struck me. I saw Kari, in her pirate mecha, storm into view, crushing people underfoot. She noticed Matt, and began providing assistance fire. I fired a Wave Beam shot at her to get her attention. She turned, and when she saw me, motioned behind her. I bolted, dodging numerous blasts-and getting hit by even more- to see Madeline poring over a map, while an impatient looking Samus barked out orders into a voice transmitter. Madeline looked up, and her face lit up when she saw me.

**All weapons functional.**

She got Samus' attention, and Samus looked at me. We stared at each other, oblivious to the fighting, until she gestured me over. I jogged to her, and she growled, "Good, you're here. What's with the ribbing patterns?"

I shrugged.

"Find any useful information?"

I nodded.

"Bergman! Can you translate for him?"

Madeline nodded. "54M, remember your signs?"

Suddenly, a flood of memories came back to me, and I automatically began signing off to her. Madeline translated, "After you shot him, he woke up in the Unitologist headquarters, and found a potential ally." She quickly described Matt's powers, and Samus nodded.

"Damn Unitologists copied my weapons? Screw it. Whatever he is, he's really pushing the Unitologists back. I suppose there's a place for him in this army."

I continued signing, and Madeline translating, "The X are on SR388, which is blocked off by three energy shields. There are three keys to deactivate the antimatter generators powering the shields, but…"

"But what? Hurry, damn it! S-Ora, launch an airstrike on the left flank! I'm going in!" barked Samus, both to the transmitter and us.

"The generators are located in planets set in alternate universes."

"And how do you know this?" questioned Samus.

Madeline translated, "It was on a computer in the control room."

"If you were in the control room, did you see a virus get in?"

"Yes."

"Perfect. That virus shut down everything, including the shields. Kid, we've got a base to blow up," commanded Samus. I glared, but complied. I waded into the fray and began using a flamethrower to clear out a path toward the base. Soon after, Samus joined me.

"Head for the base!" she barked. I nodded and began to make my way over, Samus following. We made it mostly unscathed, although my head hurt from the numerous concussion bolts and Samus' armor steamed.

"Move back, kid!" Samus called. I stepped back and watched as Samus curled into a ball and dropped a bomb. The explosion vaporized Unitologists-and Coalitionists-but the wall stood. Samus uncurled and swore. She returned to ball form again. So did I. I rolled over to her and dropped a bomb.

This time, the wall protecting the base from us disintegrated, and we stormed in.

"Stay sharp, kid. If that wall stood up to a Power Bomb, then the shields are still active. There must be an auxiliary generator," observed Samus. I walked through the room, shooting numerous Unitologists. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something fly at me. I sidestepped to see a laser buzz saw slice into the wall. I shot at the location it came from and was pleased to see Yorgi, one of the surgeons I had seen, fall dead. We moved further into the base, navigating the treacherous halls and blowing up anything that moved. Soon, we found ourselves in front of a hole, at the bottom of which was a dark matter generator.

"Shit," cursed Samus. "We can't destroy it or this whole planet goes!"

"Thanks for stating the obvious," called someone. We looked around.

"Up here," the voice called again. I looked up to see a familiar Luminoth sitting on a catwalk over the shaft.

_L-Una?_

"Hello, Sam. I'm amazed you survived the explosion. I'm also shocked that you are the antichrist. And hello, Samus! Long time no see, especially after you _left me for dead!_" called L-Una in a stringent tone. His limbs were oddly colored, and I realized that they were from different species altogether. In his hand, he held a thermite canister.

"You. I thought you were killed as we left the _Olympus_!" exclaimed Samus.

"Oh no. No no no. After I was struck by that stray X, you simply shot me and took off without me. I would have died in the resulting explosion of the _Olympus_, but the X within me saved me from death. It did not, however, save my limbs. But its companions gave me new limbs, and thus a new life. I realized then that- _don't move!_" shrieked L-Una, as Samus sidled up toward the generator. L-Una uncapped the thermite canister, and Samus halted.

"That's better. Now, as I was saying, I realized that the X were simply trying to exist. They do not pose a threat. _You_ posed a threat, and the X are simply trying to defend their territory. I realized this, and began to spread my philosophy throughout the galaxy. I called it Unitology, a symbol of the X's oneness. Are you looking for The Great Host? Here I am," sneered L-Una. "And you, Sam. I thought you were better than this. Now I find that _you_ are trying to kill the X?"

"Are you insane? Your friends were killed by those parasites in the _Olympus!_" yelled Samus.

"They attacked first, and paid the price," answered L-Una coldly.

I aimed my cannon at him. He noticed it and held the canister over the shaft. "Shoot me and this canister falls into the generator. What kind of explosion will _that_ cause, hmm? Hahahahahaha!" L-Una laughed. While he laughed, I looked over to Samus to see her whispering orders into her transmitter.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing," stated L-Una. "You're trying to save your army. Too late! While I and my companions may die, so will you! And Unitology will live on in the myriad planets of the galaxy. You cannot win. Say goodbye!"

L-Una dropped the canister.

"RUN!" Samus yelled. We wheeled around and bolted away. Behind us, I heard an explosion as the thermite detonated into the dark matter containment field, and then the sucking sound of a growing black hole. Vaguely, L-Una's maniacal laughter could be heard, until the hole sucked it-and him-in. Thankfully, because the hole was still so small, its gravitational pull was not strong enough to hold us yet. We ran, weaving through corridors as the black hole grew, consuming everything in its path. Soon, we burst out of the base. The Coalitionists were fleeing in the distance, and Unitologists were cheering. Their cheers turned to gasps as the black hole's sucking sound grew. Even from this distance, I could feel the black hole's pull as it expanded. We ran, quickly catching up to the Coalitionists. Soon, a plethora of ships came into view. We boarded them faster than I thought possible, and took off. As the ships exited the planet's gravity well, we could see the black hole swallow up chunks of the planet. As we jumped to hyperspace, I could see the black hole destroy Tallon III and begin swallowing matter from the surrounding planets.

Once again it was back to Norion. Samus spent a while discussing the problem of the shield generators with the Chozo and Luminoth. The two species came up with a solution. By combining the Chozo's warp portals and the Luminoth's portals to Dark Aether, they were confident that they could send Kari and I to find the keys. Meanwhile the Coalition would launch smaller raids against SR388. So I soon found myself on Bilium, inside a large warp room, standing next to Kari and MH-XB01. Far up in the control room, a human female I recognized as Emily or Amelia or Melanie or something Taylor operated the portal, while spectators watched from cameras posted around the room.

"Remember," said a Chozo from a microphone, "we've equipped you with extra-dimensional transceivers! When you enter a dimension, call us. When you find the key, call us and we'll patch you into the next dimension."

"Got it," called MH-XB01.

"Hurry up!" Kari called to the girl. She called down, "I'm working as fast as I can! Maybe you'd like to operate these controls?"

"I would like that very much!" Kari answered.

"Oh, shut up!"

"You first!"

I glared at them both, but they ignored me as they volleyed insults back and forth.

"Okay. 54M, step on the blue pedestal. Troll-child, get on the red one. MH, the green."

We stepped on the pedestals, and Kari called up one last insult. "Bitch-queen!"

"Why you-!" Angrily, Taylor slammed her hand down on something. I saw sparks fly, and the warp portal began to emit a squeal.

"Oh crap! Something's wrong with the portal generator! RUN!" called Taylor.

We leaped from the pedestals and bolted for the doors. I risked a glance over my shoulder and saw two glowing tendrils of energy whip out. They grabbed Taylor and me and dragged us both into the portal.

**Next time: Sam and Taylor end up on a parallel Earth, where G.U.N.'s are meant to keep the peace, anthropomorphic animals run at supersonic speeds, and eggheads plan world domination!**

**PownzerX: The base didn't 3}{P10[)3, but it did get sucked into a black hole. Good enough for you?**

**Darkfire Dragon28: If you read closely, you'll find a clue that tells you one of the crossovers is Tales of the Abyss.**

** swiftshadow123: This message goes out to everyone, not just swiftshadow:**

**Due to poor planning on my part, I realized that I don't actually have a good idea how the plot will go for the DBZ crossover, so I'll have to can it. Sorry to anyone who was looking forward to it.**

**Instead, I have added two other crossover choices: Star Ocean 3 and Eragon(Book 4: Inheritance)**

**So you have three choices: Half-Life 2, Star Ocean 3, or Eragon(Book 4). ****I set up a poll on my account page. If you want a say in the the decision for the third crossover, then for god's sake, VOTE! ****If I don't have enough votes before the next update, I'll choose myself. ****How many votes are enough? That depends. So get voting!**

**Shooting for 60 votes! I want: praise, suggestions for improvement, or OC submissions.**

**A note: OC submissions will be closing next chapter. For more information, see the summary.**

**ARandomDay out. Peace!**


	26. Sonic Boom

Energy lightning flashed around me. Then it stopped, and I found myself looking out onto a canyon-like area. The green sky overlooked two strange… things licking from a pool of green liquid. They were yellow in color, and bipedal. Anteater-like tongues siphoned water, while numerous tentacles acted as tails.

"Hello, Sam!" I turned to see the Doctor watching the creatures. "You're in the wrong place, aren't you? But still, take a moment to appreciate Xen. You're the second living thing-excluding me- who's seen this place and lived. Those creatures licking from the pool are called, I believe, bullsquids. Docile creatures, actually. Of course, they were startled after the resonance cascade, and forced a certain… Gordon, I think the name was, to cause their near-extinction. But that's a tale for another time. Now, I believe you were looking for a key?" I gave him a startled look. "Oh come now, Sam. I'm a Time Lord. I know what's happening, what's happened, and to a lesser extent, what's going to happen. But that's not the point. The key, as you might be aware, is in the shape of a Core-X, disguised as a black emerald. I'll give you a lift to Alt-Earth 3, and be on my way." He grabbed my arm, and we were suddenly on a road, lined with trees, the wind rushing after a blue blur rocketing down the road.

"You might want to catch that blue blur. He could have some information as to the whereabouts of the Ebony Emerald," the Doctor proclaimed triumphantly. I stared at him. He looked affronted. "So you think you could come up with a better name for the first key? How about a Key to the Kingdom? Sorry, but that's taken. By a kid named Arthur. But now I'm rambling. Oh yes. Your friend Melanie is sitting in that palm tree up there." He pointed across the median, and I followed his gaze to see Taylor shinnying down a tree. She noticed the Doctor and me. I waved and looked at the Doctor again.

"See you around," he said. Then he walked off down the highway.

"Hey, what were you looking at?" I turned to Taylor, who was now only twenty feet away, and then pointed to the Doctor. Who, of course, was gone.

"Yeah, I don't see what you were pointing at. Anyway, we should probably try to get in touch with the Chozo?"

I'd completely forgotten that I was holding the interdimensional transmitter. I pulled it out and handed it to Taylor. She took it and held it to her ear.

"Hello? Yes, it's me, Melanie. 54M's with me as well."

She paused. "What? Really? … Right, got it. Melanie out."

Taylor turned the transmitter off. "Okay, it seems that the interdimensional transport failed and is completely busted. It's going to take them a while to repair it. Also, they've figured out the shape of the first key. It's a black gem."

I nodded and quickly signed to her. " Who? A doctor? With brown hair and light skin? Oh, I remember him. Nice guy. He actually helped with the construction of the transport. So he wants us to chase after that blue thing?"

I nodded.

"How are we going to do that? I heard a sonic boom as it sped by!"

**Grab her hand and run. No, it's not romantic. She'll be lucky if the G-force doesn't rip the skin from her face.**

I shrugged. She wasn't a good friend, and was thus expendable. Mostly. So I grabbed her by the hand. "Hey! What the-" she started, and then I ran. Seconds later, I burst into supersonic speed. The road gave way before me until I quickly saw the blue blur in the distance. As we came closer, we got a better look. It was a hedgehog. A freaking hedgehog.

**What. The. Frack.**

**My thoughts exactly.**

I sped up and the blue hedgehog noticed us. Its head turned. Just as I came level with it, its head turned fully to see us. The hedgehog's face contorted into an expression of disbelief as I sent my tail out in front of him. Rather than stopping him, he ran right into it. A shockwave traveled up my tail, and the hedgehog went flying. I slowed down and watched as he soared off into a mountain off to the west.

"You just had to throw him into a mountain, didn't you? Now how are we going to talk to that supersonic blue hedgehog?" Taylor grumbled, climbing from my back.

She pulled a face. "Wow. I doubt that those words have ever been put together in that order in the history of the Basic language."

**She's correct. However, those words have been put together many times in the history of the Galvan language, usually as part of their science fair projects.**

"Hello there!" burst a confident voice from above. I looked up to see a fat human male in a floating pod. His egg-like head was bare, although tufts of hair protruded from his cavernous nostrils. I shuddered at the sight.

"I am the esteemed Dr. Robotnik, leader of the Eggman Army. I am going to rule the world, and I think you can help me."

"Oh please, there's no way we would hel-" Taylor started to say. I clamped a hand on her mouth, and signed off to her. She got the message and reworded her sentence, "-help you without a reward for us."

"Oh? And what exactly do you want?"

"A black jewel."

"Like this?" Robotnik asked, pulling out an ebony emerald. I nodded.

"Hmm… all right. I'm willing to make a deal with you. Girl, you look smart. How are you with technology?" he asked.

"I can assemble a miniature fusion reactor in three days, repair a busted coolant unit in three hours, construct a combat-ready android in one hour, an automated assembly line in a day… with the proper parts, of course," Taylor boasted.

"Resources are not a problem. And the… thing beside you?" Robotnik questioned.

"If the rumors are true, he's Death incarnate."

"Certainly looks the part… Very well. Girl-"

"Melanie Taylor."

"Melanie, "he amended, " before I hire you, I wish to test you. Thing, I want you to get Sonic the Hedgehog. And his little friends too!"

"By get, you mean…?" interrogated Taylor.

"I didn't ask you, did I?" Robotnik replied, irritated.

"No, but I answered for him," she deftly parried.

" And did you agree to this?" the doctor asked, his words directed at me. I nodded.

"… Take a guess. After all, you are a semi-genius."

"So you want us to kill him? And his friends? Why?"

"I expect my underlings-"

"A-hem," coughed Taylor. I glared up at Robotnik and began to charge a Wavebuster. He got the message.

"-erm, I mean, contractors, not to ask questions."

I shrugged, and the doctor took that as his cue to speak again. "Now, follow me." He flew off in his pod. I grabbed Taylor and chased Robotnik.

The doctor led us into a mountain, out of which protruded a massive space elevator. It led far up, and at its peak, I could vaguely make out an airship in the shape of an Earth whale shark. At the base of the mountain was a set of metal double doors. Robotnik pointed up toward the airship. "See that? That is the first ship of my Eggman Armada. But I'm too busy dealing with that pesky hedgehog to finish it. That's where you come in. Melanie, dear-"

"I'm not your dear, Baldy McNosehair," Taylor shot.

"Hmph, fine. I'm willing to overlook that insult this once, but not again. Melanie, I want to test you. Construct another ship and deploy it. Resources are no object. Time is. I need two hundred fully fledged floating death machine within the fortnight. Thing, you know what to do. Kill that hedgehog."

Eggman led us through the doors into a massive processing plant. Standing in front of us were two creatures. One of them was a black hedgehog with streaks of red. A golden bangle circled his wrist and he wore primitive hover skates. The other was what seemed to be a short Earth ferret that was a hodgepodge of color. Her white fur contrasted sharply with her black jacket and denim trousers, while her orange eyes went well with the crimson claw marks that scored the glazed left eye. A long white and red tail finished the package. An array of knives, ranging from kitchen utensils to standard Pirate-grade bayonets, lined her belt, while hilts could be seen protruding from her pockets. I was, quite frankly, more concerned about the black hedgehog. He looked like much less of a threat than the ferret, but looks could be deceiving. "The fuck is that?" stated the ferret. The hedgehog simply observed me, drinking in the details of my form.

"Diamond, this is your test. Thing, those two are your tests."

"Thing? That's his name? Not exactly descriptive. How about… Sam?" suggested the ferret. I smirked. "What's so funny?" she questioned.

"That _is_ his name," answered Taylor. "Don't get too close, he'll irradiate you."

"So why were you near him?" the ferret replied.

"Not my choice. Anyone have a lot of sixty percent hydrogen dioxide- forty percent hydroxyethate solution? No? Fine. Where's the nearest chem lab?"

Robotnik put a little more distance between us, as did the hedgehog and ferret. "The name's Diamond. Professional bounty hunter, but you can call me better than you," the ferret quipped. The hedgehog observed me and let out, "Shadow," before falling silent once more.

"Back to business. Before I give you the emerald, you have to prove that you're up to the challenge. Fight the ferret."

"Hmph. This'll be easy," the ferret grumbled. She put some kitchen knives into her hands and threw them.

**Let's play catch, shall we?**

**Or better yet, let's play ball! I mean, knives!**

I reached up and caught the knives before tossing them back. Being only culinary-grade, they failed to even scratch my scales.

"Damn," muttered the ferret. "No biggie." She pulled out a Pirate bayonet. At the same time, her hands went up in flames. As the bayonet contacted the fire, it went up. The ferret then threw the flaming knife at me. I ducked, and it embedded itself into the wall. I smirked and began to charge a Wavebuster.

**Wait. Try an Ice Spreader-Flamethrower combo.**

_And what will that accomplish?_ I wondered.

**Ever heard of annealing? Superheating plus supercooling equals super cracking!**

_I think we'd better keep her alive if we want that emerald._

**You're probably right. Maybe. Screw it. Just freeze her and be done with it.**

_Can I even use an Ice Beam?_

**Sure. Why?**

I thought back to the time I was frozen by Melissa Bergman.

**Oh. That's why. Ignore that. Just freeze her.**

**No, burn her.**

**Freeze!**

**Burn!**

**Freeze!**

**BURN!**

**FREEZE!**

**Yaaaah!**

**Yaaah!**

All of a sudden, I swore I could hear scuffling. I ducked under another knife as the scuffling slowly turned to grunts and moans. Ten knife ducks later, the sounds ceased.

_The hell was that?_

**Guess.**

_Oh god. My brain feels unclean._

**Deal with it. We've been in this space together for the last…**

**Six, seven months? **

**Yeah. What did you think would happen? It's not like there'll be kids. Anyway, we decided on burn.**

_Glad that you made a choice, even if it was after… ugh. I don't even want to think about it._

I charged up a flamethrower and began to get closer. The ferret backed up, still flinging knives. How many of those did she have? I ducked under another knife, and heard a clicking sound.

**She's reloading! **

**How the fuck does she do that? They're knives, for god's sake!**

**Who knows? FIRE!**

I unleashed the flames from hell. The ferret looked up from her pockets(which, miraculously, were filling with knives) to see a wall of fire strike her. Immediately they began to consume her. She immediately dropped to the floor and tried rolling around. Even while this was happening, she was flinging knives. I dodged a few, but other nailed me in the gut. They still bounced off, but they distracted me. The ferret threw multiple knives aimed at the same spot. When the first one hit, it was hammered through the scales by the impact of the other knives. Diamond jumped back up, though weakly. Her skin was covered in burns. Much of it was scorched off completely, revealing the inner layer. What was left of the fur and skin was scorched black. She glared at me before trying to lunge, ignoring the radiation. I skillfully sidestepped and jabbed her in the gut with my tail. As she fell to the ground, a change went over her. He skin began to bubble and she began to grow. Her limbs twisted, growing to impossible shapes, as her body and head expanded rapidly. Soon, standing before me, was a full-fledged dragon.

**Oh, come on!**

**Oh, for fuck's sake. **

I concentrated a missile barrage on the dragon's wings. They tore through the weak membrane instantly, forcing the dragon onto all fours. A few more missiles to the head, and a ferret with several different colors of scorched fur soon lay on the ground. I bared a grin at Robotnik and the hedgehog, which was unimpressed. Robotnik edged away slightly further.

"Perfect!" he exclaimed. "Give Diamond some time to heal, and then go after Sonic. In the meantime, I expect you, Melanie, to get building my airships."

Taylor was busy swigging human vodka from a table at an alarmingly fast rate. As she downed a bottle and tossed it to the floor, she pulled out a syringe and injected herself. Her drunkenness was instantly removed.

"And why, pray tell, were you consuming alcohol?" questioned Robotnik.

" 'Cos there isn't any chem lab here for me to brew up an anti-radiation serum," replied Taylor. Then, "So, where are the parts? I'll need parts if I'm gonna build an airship, you know."

"Yes, yes, I do know. They're in the back room." Robotnik waved a hand vaguely in the direction of the factory's bowels. Taylor strode off.

"Now, Sam and Shadow, while Diamond recuperates, you should go scout HEXAeco Metropolis, in the west. I assume that Sonic should be there, judging by where you sent him seven hours ago."

Cut to three days later, and Shadow and I were patrolling the city, albeit on opposite sides of it, still searching for Sonic the Hedgehog, and his friends. Apparently there was also a mutant genius fox and a violent red echidna. There was a lovesick pink hedgehog that swung hammers around. And don't even get me started on the stupid purple cat!

Anyway, while we had frequently seen-and once even encountered- his friends, we had yet to lay eyes on the elusive blue hedgehog. So for the third day, Shadow and I were forced to tread the city streets. The city was a massive green metropolis. It was essentially divided into two levels: the city at ground level and the city connected by the towering rooftops. The rooftops were filled with strange contraptions: springs that launched me twenty meters in the air towards another roof, multiple tiny booster pads that accelerated me to a couple hundred miles per hour, ramps that filled the previous two roles at the same time, grind rails, cannons, energy fields, and even loops made of energy. I spent my time on the rooftops, while Shadow patrolled the ground.

As I walked, it began to rain. Lightly at first, until it began coming down so hard that I risked drowning on dry land. The air was quite literally a curtain of water, gushing down. A hum rose behind me. I turned to see the ferret, Diamond, on a hoverboard. Atop her palms were two pillars of flame. The heat emanating from them was enough to vaporize the water around the ferret in a six-foot sphere. She glared at me. I winked, and then winced as pillars of fire washed over me. While I could smell something cooking, my skin was completely untouched. Diamond grimaced, having sacrificed her protective fire barrier to attack me. She put it back up, but was completely sodden. This seemed to have an anesthetic effect on her. She was noticeably more groggy, but quickly perked up as the fire dried her fur.

"Alright, _Sam,_" she spat, "I encountered Sonic. We fought, and I managed to injure him, before his friends rescued him. He's on the other side of the city, near Shadow, taking shelter inside a factory. Guess what we're going to do?"

I shrugged.

"We're going to drown him, you idiot!"

_BLIP!_

Off to our right, Shadow appeared. Diamond hissed and her fur flared, but I ignored him, having gotten used to his teleportation two days ago.

"Change of plans," he said. "Sonic's friends showed up."

"So?" asked Diamond.

"There's way too many of them, even for us. We can't confront them head on. Instead, we're going to lure them out, one by one. Grab my hand."

Diamond and I complied. Shadow barked, "Chaos Control!" and we found ourselves on a low rooftop opposite a large factory. Inside, I could hear the voices of Sonic's friends, as well as an unfamiliar voice that must be Sonic himself.

Diamond pulled a knife from her belt and tossed it at the factory. It soared through the open garage door and bounced off the floor with a _CLANG_!

"What was that?" asked a higher-pitched voice, belonging to the fox known as Miles Prower.

"Dunno," answered a gruffer voice, that of the echidna Knuckles.

"I'll goo chegg id oud," came the slurred voice of Big the Cat. Soon, his umbrella-masked form came out of the factory. Diamond tossed another knife, about twenty yards away from the factory. Big walked over to the sound. I was about to shoot when Diamond forced my hand down. She pulled a knife out and threw it. Big the Cat smacked onto the pavement, a hole in his umbrella where the knife had passed through on the way to his head. Diamond leaped down and dragged Big into an alley. I heard a low hum from the alley in question, before Diamond walked out. The hum was similar in pitch to a hoverboard. Shadow and I watched as Diamond exited the alley and climbed the walls to the roof where we were waiting.

"Big? Big? What was it?" asked Prower. "Big? Big?"

"I'll go find Big," volunteered the echidna, Knuckles. He stepped out, and I fired an Imperialist beam at him. Diamond accidentally nudged my shoulder, so the beam struck Knuckles in the neck. He fell forward and sprawled on the ground. Diamond again dragged him into the alley, where again the hum sounded. Curiously, I leaned forward, but Shadow grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and pulled me back, before quickly distancing himself. Diamond returned, and threw another knife into the factory. At that exact moment, Miles Prower stepped out and craned his neck up. The knife embedded itself in it.

"TAILS!" Sonic roared, from within the factory. I listened as he attempted to run to Tails, only for Amy Rose to stop him, telling him to relax and that she would check on Tails. Amy stepped out, cautiously holding her hammer. She knelt beside Prower. Her body stiffened as she examined Prower's neck wound. Then it stiffened for real as I fired at her. Diamond nudged my shoulder again, causing the Imperialist to hit her in the neck. I glared at her.

"AMY!" Sonic bellowed. He ran out. I prepared to shoot him, but then he caught sight of us. Sonic yelled in fury, and ran off. I jumped down and began to chase him. Sonic led me through the winding streets until he hopped onto a grind rail. I jumped on and balanced as it led up through the sky towards the rooftops. Sonic was clever, jumping from rail to rail as several came together, forcing me to slow down to pursue him. The grind rail petered out as it came towards a cannon. Sonic leaped in and it fired him, a blue spinning ball, out towards a roof off to his left. I jumped in to the cannon. It forced me into Morph Ball and fired. But not in Sonic's direction. It shot me at a rooftop to the right. I swore, and then began running. I bounced off a spring onto a rail, which deposited me in front of an energy path. I ran down the path. At its end was a boost pad. I hit the pad and was instantly sent into supersonic speed. At this speed, I was easily able to clear the triple loop ahead, before striking a ramp. I flew through the air, and landed on a grind rail. Ahead, I watched as Sonic was shot from a cannon on a nearby roof to land on the rail to my left. I grinned. He glared at me, and jumped up. Then he curled into a ball, which immediately flew at me, spines spinning. I growled and put up my hands. The spines collided with the scaly limbs. Sonic was forced back, and my hands were bleeding. Green blood dripped from the wounds, which melted through the rails when it touched. This distracted me long enough for Sonic to assault me again. His blades tore a gash in my chest. I hissed and switched to the Wave Beam. Bolts of electricity soon assaulted Sonic. Then he gasped. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as a huge glob of plasma burst out of the smokestack of the HEXAeco Power Station and burnt through the rails. Sonic fell through. I followed suit. As we fell through the air, we were still fighting. I was shooting at him as he sliced through me in numerous places. I looked past Sonic briefly to see the ground approaching. I bared a grin and maneuvered myself over Sonic. He tried to slice me again. Instead, I planted a foot on his chest and pushed him down. The same motion pushed me up, enabling me to effectively jump off of Sonic. He slammed into a concrete with a _KRAKK_, creating a five-meter radius crater. I landed more softly, as I had jumped from Sonic only ten feet from the ground. I walked over to the crater, cannon primed, and looked into it. Sonic lay in the center of the depression, eyes swirling.

"Hands up!" I turned to see dozens of soldiers aiming at me, guns ready to fire. On their armor was a logo: G.U.N. Ironic, considering how outdated the guns these troops were wielding were. They weren't even energy-based. I brought my cannon up, already charging with Wavebuster energy…

and stopped as Diamond burst through the crowd, Shadow's limp form over her shoulder, and yelled, "STAND DOWN!" As one, the G.U.N. troops lowered their weapons. I, however, kept my gun up. Diamond winced at the sight and said, "Give me five minutes to explain, please."

I nodded briefly and lowered my cannon, although I kept it armed. Diamond began to talk. "I was hired by G.U.N. to spy on Doctor Robotnik- otherwise known as the Eggman. G.U.N. is very interested in his actions. Anyway, I was all set to take him out when you showed up. You enabled Eggman to kill his one obstacle: Sonic the Hedgehog. Your companion Taylor is currently building him a robot army as well as an airship armada. Basically, you've fucked things up completely. G.U.N. can't step in without Eggman using a weapon of mass destruction. We don't want a repeat of the Eclipse Cannon incident. But Sonic and his friends can."

I pointed to Sonic, lying in the crater. Diamond observed his body for a few seconds, before saying, "Huh, only stunned. Thank goodness. As for his friends, well, let's just say I didn't strike them in vital spots. They'll be stunned, and badly disoriented, but they'll be fine. Your laser nearly fried some of them, but it didn't kill them."

Then I pointed to Shadow.

"Shadow here can use Chaos Control, which is quite the useful trick. We'll have to shut him up in one of Eggman's labs. I figure I can come up with a useful alibi for his absence. Now, let's go. We need to talk to Eggman and convince him that Sonic and his friends-as well as Shadow- are dead. I'll meet you back in Eggman's lab. G.U.N. troops, move out!" Diamond disappeared into the city streets with the G.U.N. troops. I watched them go.

**Think it's a good idea to trust them?**

**So long as we get the Ebony Emerald, I don't really care.**

**True that. What about you?**

_I don't really know, but I'm thinking it would just be best to stay out of this conflict and get the emerald._

**My thoughts exactly. Let's go.**

I returned to Eggman's mountain base. Over the mountain flew dozens of airships. From the factory doors poured hundreds of robots. I made my way past the robots into the factory. Taylor was there, gripping the emerald. Above her, Eggman ogled his new robot army from inside his pod. When he saw me, he grinned. "I take it that you killed Sonic the Hedgehog?"

I nodded.

"Can I see their bodies?"

I shook my head.

"No? Why not? I thought I told you to bring their bodies. Is it because… you didn't actually kill them?" He snatched the emerald away from Taylor. I glared at him and brought up the cannon. Eggman grabbed Taylor. "Shoot me, shoot her!"

I didn't personally have a problem with killing Taylor, but the Chozo would probably give me hell over it. So I shrugged and brought up my gravity hand. Eggman's pod wavered, and then came crashing down. Taylor flew from the wreckage. I caught her, and then dropped her to catch the emerald that went flying. It landed firmly in my grasp. From the wreckage popped Eggman, covered in soot. He glared at me. "Eggman Army, attack!" Robots instantly came pouring in from everywhere. I effortlessly decimated the weak robots. Eggman grimaced as his robots dashed themselves against my firepower.

"Eggman Army, retreat!" Eggman ran off and appeared inside another pod. This pod flew up towards the airship fleet. Midway up, his pod was intercepted by a robotic object, which upon close examination, was a cyborg hedgehog. The cyborg yanked Eggman from his pod, and flew up to the airships with Eggman in tow. Five minutes later, the robot army, as if by some signal, marched out of the factory.

I stared at Taylor. She shrugged. "Hey, the parts were defective. What did you expect? Although that robot hedgehog was just a curveball. What the hell was it?"

Just then, a ringing sound came from Taylor's pocket. She pulled out the interdimensional transmitter.

"Melanie? Are you there?" came a voice.

"Yes, Rainbow Wing, it's Melanie."

"We are detecting massive surges of energy from your person. Do you have the first key?"

"Um, yes. I think."

"Is it a black emerald?"

"Affirmative."

"Excellent! Good job, Melanie. Now, do you see the port on the bottom of the transmitter?"

Taylor turned the transmitter upside down. At its base was a port in the shape of an octahedron.

"The transmitter is also a prototype version of a miniaturized warp generator. Each key that you collect serves a dual purpose: not only does it serve as a key for the shield generator on SR388, but it also acts as a map. If you place the key into the port, that should give the transmitter enough power to open a warp to the next key's location."

Melanie jammed the point of the emerald into the port. From the antenna of the transmitter came a pinprick of light. Upon striking the far wall, it rapidly expanded into a wormhole.

"We're detecting an open wormhole in your vicinity. Good luck!" came the voice on the transmitter.

"Wait!" Melanie called as the wormhole began to drag us in. "Where's it taking us?"

"A plant called Auld-" Melanie lost her grip on the transmitter as we were sucked into the wormhole. She grabbed for it frantically, but missed. Then she was sucked in. The transmitter rattled on the ground and then soared into the wormhole. Then I was dragged in.

**Next time: Welcome to Auldrant, where the elementary particles as we know them are nonexistent, and Aristotle's theories on matter are, in fact, correct.**

**Damn. Almost four weeks since the last update. Sorry about that, but life had a headlock on me. I was barely able to spend any time at all working on 'Experiment 505'. I would say more, but I just want to push this chapter out the door before you, my loyal readers, mutiny. And before I become a hypocrite. Sorry to say, but this slow update schedule will have to continue. The bulk of my other work may be complete, but in order to pull off the Tales of the Abyss crossover, I'm gonna have to spend more time on Tales wikis than writing the story.**

**PownzerX: Hmm. Evil 3 with a fez. Will he turn the universe 2D, and jump around in 3D? Indie game reference LOLZ! You'll never find out Matt's accent. WAHAHAHAHA! WARIO LAUGH!**

**Storm Dragon Supersonic 50: Apart from your new screen name being a mouthful, no, no crazy washing machine-definitely a washing machine-from heck.**

**Swiftshadow123: Name change duly noted. My friend also watched DBZ Abridged. I watched some of it with him, and have to say it was hilarious. Nappa is my new favorite character.**

**Why the frack did only two people vote on my poll? I guess most of you don't really care. So I'll be going with...**

*******************! U MAD, BRO? **

**OC submissions are now officially closed. Thanks to all who submitted:**

**Cardcopternicole submitted Maria Taylor and Melanie Taylor.**

**zucintruelordofthesaiyans submitted MH-XB01, aka Matt.**

**Darkfire Dragon28 submitted Darkfire Dragon.**

**Swiftshadow123 submitted Diamond the Ferret.**

**E-Mir the Luminoth 17 submitted E-Mir and X-Sol the Luminoth(who are scheduled to appear in either the next or the last crossover).**

**ARandomDay out. Peace!**


	27. Key Tree

Once more, energy lightning blipped around the vortex. I ignored their colorful flashes, focusing on collecting the transmitter that would get us back into our own universe. It tantalizingly floated just centimeters away from my fingers.

**Someone needs to grow.**

"_Shut up!"_

The transmitter soared off into the distance. I grunted angrily. Then my face split into a grin as I realized that I had just made a sound for the first time since losing my throat. The grin quickly faded as the transmitter performed the same motion as my smile, becoming translucent before disappearing entirely. I followed suit. It was a strange sensation, like pins and needles, albeit softer. I had no time to concentrate on that, as my vision slowly blurred. The purple flashes of the energy vortex gave way to a much harsher white.

_THUD_! I landed hard on a white floor. It wasn't that painful, so I quickly jumped up and looked around. I stood on a balcony. Looking down, I watched as soldiers, Desbrachians, Samus Aran, Madeline Bergman, and a female human engaged in a massive brawl. I ignored all of that, my mind focused on only one thing:

"_Food… Wait, what? Revenge!"_

I aimed my cannon towards Bergman and fired a Wavebuster, meaning to rip her apart electronically. Unsurprisingly, I ended up firing the wrong weapon: a concentrated bolt of coolant. It struck Bergman and encased her in a shell of frozen coolant. At the same time, more soldiers appeared from somewhere underneath my balcony, firing their weapons. Freeze Guns and pulse rifles ripped the frozen android to shreds.

**You do realize that you essentially just killed your sister?**

"_She tried to kill me first. That makes it fair."_

**Key word there is 'tried'. **

"Well, Sam, you've successfully performed a time paradox. Thankfully, this one is meant to happen. You destroy the android, and with it, the secrets of the Metroid breeding project, as the soldiers down below will now doubt discover to their chagrin. Bergman's remains will thaw out, though, and she will reform in just a few weeks. While she regenerates, she transmits false data to the Federation to make it seem like the Bottle Ship has blown up according to their plans, while in actuality it drifts off into space, only moving to avoid planets and larger ships. Around the FS-176 system, you come through a warp onto the ship…" As soon as the first words were out of his mouth, I ignored the Doctor, who once again had stepped out of nowhere, this time from his blue police box. He stared down with a rather solemn expression at the remains of Bergman.

"Such a shame, really," he said. "I dislike watching Bergman die this time, even if it's temporary, but in every universe where you do not freeze her, she goes on to kill everyone in the room, Samus included, and then use her Bottle Ship army to lay waste to all sentient species in the galaxy, save the more secluded ones. But if you don't acquire the second key, Bergman's pseudo-death becomes a moot point. So," he enunciated, his tone becoming more businesslike, "here's your transmitter." The Doctor tossed me the transmitter. I snatched it from the air, noting that my hands were much more claw-like, before also catching the black emerald and plugging it into the transmitter. The portal opened and I stepped through.

"Oh, and remember," called the Doctor, as I stepped in. He tossed me an electropad with a note on it. "When you see me on Auldrant, hand me both the note and the transmitter. I'll get it back to you in time for your third jump."

I nodded and walked into the portal.

_BLUP!_ A whirlwind of bubbles clouded my vision. When they cleared, I looked around. I was at the bottom of a pool of water. Looking up, I saw a ceiling. Looking to the right, I saw a tunnel. I decided to swim up first. When my head broke the surface, I looked around and realized that this chamber must simply be fed by another source through the underwater tunnel, as there was no land surface, just water. Above me was a dark grey, rock ceiling. I descended again and walked into the tunnel. The tunnel was quite large. Several crabs with a rocky shell scurried by. I watched them go. I blinked. Suddenly, the scenery changed. I stood at the far end of the tunnel. Behind me lay the broken and ruined shells of dead crabs.

_What the…?_

**Our thoughts exactly.**

**Someone has a grudge against crustaceans.**

_Cut the bullshit and tell me what happened!_

**You just went insane and started slaughtering all of the crabs. Quite gruesomely, too.**

**I didn't even know it was possible to decapitate a crab!**

**Then, once your massacre was over, you proceeded to devour their flesh.**

_And exactly why did I massacre those crabs?_

**Hell if we know.**

**ALERT! Gene transfusion at 62.5%. Instinctual gene replication complete. Testing 50% complete.**

**Well, that explains it. Sort of.**

I blinked again and the scene shifted as well, this time to solid ground. Light shone from a mouth in the cave ahead. I looked around. The broken bodies of all sorts of creatures littered the cave. I turned and walked to the back, to a pool of water. I peered into it and saw yet more bodies.

**I think you just caused an entire ecosystem to go extinct.**

_Not my problem…_

I returned to the front of the cave and walked outside onto a plain. To the west lay a volcano; while in the east lay the spires of a gleaming city. And in the center of the plains stood a gleaming blue box that was labeled _**POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX**_. Recalling the Doctor's request, I strolled over to the box, taking the time to kill and eat some of the other wildlife on the plains. I knocked on the box. Its door opened and out stepped the Doctor. Behind him, a pale human girl with yellow hair peered out. She examined me with a keen eye. I stared back at her. The Doctor grinned. "Hello, Sam!"

Then he turned around, staring into the blue box. "Is _this_ why you dropped us here instead of on New Earth?" The box gave a hum and then fell silent.

"So, Sam, what can I do you for?" questioned the Doctor. I handed him my transmitter and the electropad. He scanned the electropad. "Ahh. All right. Thanks, Sam. Rose, time to go. _Allons-y!_"

The girl, whose name was apparently Rose, protested slightly, but the Doctor waved it aside before closing the door of the box, which then vanished. Just before vanishing, two things popped out of it. I picked up the first object. It was an electropad. I realized that I had never read the first one. But back to the second, which was displaying a note: " Keep an eye out for the Lunar Luminoth. And watch out for her shadowed cousin. _Allons-y!_

_P.S._ Here's a piece of psychic paper for you. Since your voice box still needs repair, this should suffice!"

I looked down to see a piece of blank paper. As I stared at it, words began to form: _How will this suffice? _The same thoughts that were running through my head.

I tossed the electropad aside, picked up the piece of blank paper and continued my aimless trek across the plains. My path was veering towards the volcano, so it came to pass that I soon encountered lava slowly flowing around me. As I gazed upwards to the summit, a flash of light caught my eye. It traveled downwards rapidly towards me. I leaped backwards and readied myself. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a party of humans watching in interest. I fired a bolt at them and they hurriedly fled the scene. Returning my interest to the light, it had dissipated, leaving in its place a female Luminoth holding an energy whip. The Luminoth in question, however, looked quite strange. Rather than the reddish grey or black and blue, she had chocolate fur with ebony streaks. Her eyes were a shade of amethyst, but the Luminoth's most defining feature was the blue moon marking on her forehead. She looked around, taking a minute to observe the area, and then her gaze was fixed on me.

"What the-" she gasped, and then launched her whip forward. I ducked out of the way.

**Don't shoot. Remember the Doctor's note? Just let her tire herself out, and then show the psychic paper to her.**

I rolled into Morph Ball and noticed a change. From the ball rose a black, scaly tail with an edge sharp enough to slice adamantium. I rolled around. The tail used some form of gyroscopic stabilization to stay in a fixed position to my rolling. The Luminoth swung her energy whip at the ball ineffectually. I rolled around her as she swung her energy whip. Finally, she ended up swinging the whip so hard that it wrapped around her own body. The Luminoth shrieked with pain and toppled over, unable to keep her balance. I returned to normal and kneeled over her wrapped up body. Her eyes widened ever so slightly, then just as rapidly were replaced by a bold expression. I ignored it.

_Eat it…_

_Prey…_

I shook those thoughts from my head, wondering where they had come from, and then flashed the psychic paper to the Luminoth. Still tied up, she quickly read the paper.

"You're 54M? Prove it."

I went Morph Ball and returned to normal.

"Okay, then. The name's E-Mir. Class 5 Bounty Hunter. I'm sorry about trying to kill you. You look nothing like I was told. And also, we thought you were dead."

I started.

"Surprised? So am I. We haven't received a single transmission from you in three years, not since you found the first key. That's why I'm here. To find the others in your absence-but now it looks like you and I will be helping each other… But first, could you start by untying me?"

I reached down and yanked the energy whip up, tossing the Luminoth skywards while simultaneously unraveling the whip around her body.

E-Mir reached into her combat uniform and pulled out a copy of the transmitter. She tersely spoke into it, and then ended the call.

"Okay, let's go. The second and third keys were located years ago. The second key is supposed to be in a volcano…"

I pointed behind her. The Luminoth turned and quietly watched the lava flow. Then she began trekking up the mountain. I followed. After eating some of the local fauna-to that E-Mir reacted disgustedly- and more walking, we reached the crater. Inside, the same group of humans I had seen earlier were dueling a dragon, to varying degrees of success.

"Well? Those humans need our help!" E-Mir exclaimed, getting ready to leap in. I threw a claw out in front of her, and then pointed down. The human party and the dragon were fighting on an elevated landmass smack in the center of the crater, surrounded by a lake of magma. Far on the other side of the crater, I could see what looked like bridges folding inward.

"And that will stop me how?" E-Mir pointedly asked, unfolding her massive wings and taking off for the crater.

While E-Mir made for the dragon, I began looking around the rim for anything that might be even vaguely important to this universe, deciding that the Unitologists, having a flair for drama, would disguise it as such. As I looked around, something on the horizon caught my eye. I gazed off into the distance and immediately knew where the next key was. A titanic tree sprouted from the ground to the sky. Not only that, it was pure gold.

**That's got to be it.**

**No question.**

**The new question is how do we take it with us?**

**I suspect the Unitologists would need a way to transport it.**

**Good thinking. Why don't we take a closer look?**

I fired an Ice Beam shot into the crater. Just as E-Mir was delivering the final blow to the dragon, my shot took it full on in the head. The dragon collapsed. Its frozen head shattered on impact with the ground. E-Mir glared up at me and flew from the crater, leaving a group of shell-shocked humans behind.

"And you're _positive_ this… pillar is the key?" E-Mir stared skeptically up at it.

I nodded.

**Scanning…**

**This is definitely it. An X has possessed the entire tree.**

**So now we need to flush it out.**

**Let's try absorbing it.**

I stepped closer to the tree and slammed my claws into its shining bark. The tree began to wrinkle as I drained its energy. Then a screech rang out.

A massive X parasite launched itself from the tree. In midair, it began to morph. Soon, the X had morphed itself into a second Luminoth. Just like E-Mir, its color scheme was off. The Luminoth was the color of a black hole. It practically seemed to absorb light. On its chest gleamed a human-blood red depiction of a sun. On its left shoulder was a star shape, in the same color. Its eyes were a reddish yellow. E-Mir gave a gasp, which petered into a squeak.

**Damn, those are some freaky eyes!**

**He really evokes the Sith look.**

_What the hell is a- you know what, don't even bother. Let's just kill this thing and move on._

**Seems like that parasite is doing more than just altering your look…**

"X-Sol!" E-Mir managed to speak. The Luminoth laughed in a deep, throaty growl, identifying him as a male.

"How nice to see you again, E-Mir! I thought I would never get the opportunity to get you back after our last battle!"

"You brought that mine shaft down yourself! What have you done, you foolish creature! You've allied yourself with monsters that make the Ing look like mere flickerbats!"

"No, I've allied myself with paying clients. In addition to fifty thousand credits per cycle, I've become augmented by these X, as you call them, enabling me to do things like THIS!" X-Sol's hand changed. His fingers fused, elongated, and tapered. His arm followed, resulting in him launching a whip, the end of which was tipped with a sharp spike, at me. I grabbed the whip and blasted the tip with a missile.

**Wasn't sure those still worked. **

"Argh!" cried X-Sol. He grinned. "We're gonna have fun with this thing."

His other arm also morphed into a whip. I activated my cannon. My tail flickered between my shoulder blades. A primal instinct awoke.

And we fought.

It was a battle to end all battles.

Tail parryed whip.

Whip feinted past tail.

Tail faked to the left, and then cut to the right past the whip.

Arm cannon struggled to lock on to whip, moving so fast it vibrated.

Locked on. Fired. The whip reeled, struck by a powerful bolt of plasma.

Fired again. The whip actually plugged up the cannon that time, causing a backfire.

Launched backwards. Fired a missile right at X-Sol.

He was too busy gloating to see. In a massive explosion, X-Sol was thrown back as well.

Stood up. Glared at X-Sol. He glared back.

E-Mir attempted to join battle.

Organic whip pounded energy whip.

Organic whip led energy whip into path of plasma bolt. Energy feedback caused energy whip to short out.

E-Mir was forced out of the battle.

And so X-Sol and I battled ferociously.

Unaware of the worsening condition of the tree.

With a mighty roar, it collapsed. X-Sol and I looked up to see it fall right on us.

_CREEAAA-THOOOOOM!_

Flattened underneath tree.

Entered Morph Ball.

Dropped bomb.

Tree was shattered by bomb.

I shook my head as my senses returned.

**Wow. That was one hell of a fight.**

**I liked X-Sol while he was alive.**

**Agreed.**

"What in the known universe was that?" exclaimed E-Mir. I shrugged.

"Shrugging?! Really? Look around you!"

I surveyed the area. The land was littered with fire, skeletons of dead creatures, and craters everywhere, as well as the wreckage of an energy whip.

"And look behind you!"

I turned. One of X-Sol's whips poked out from under the tree. I prodded it with my tail. It shuddered once and fell still. The tree shook. It glowed, and then it condensed into a blue X. The X then condensed into a jewel.

**Scanning…**

**This jewel has been subject to recent magma currents, indicating its original position was in the planetary core.**

**Hmm. It seems that X-Sol was merely guarding the key for the Unitologists.**

E-Mir perched beside the wrecked body of X-Sol.

**Even with that X parasite within, he couldn't stand up to a measly tree.**

**Epic fail.**

I watched dispassionately as she murmured a quiet prayer. E-Mir then stood up, grabbing her energy whip. She spoke into her transmitter.

"We can only assume that Melanie Taylor has been KIA. A bioscan of the continent revealed nothing, and we cannot spend time searching the rest of this planet. We are in possession of the second key. Opening warp to third dimension."

As E-Mir spoke, she fitted the jewel into the transmitter. A pencil-thin beam shot from it, which then opened into a black, swirling portal.

And we stepped in. I took one last look back at X-Sol's body.

**I swear it just twitched.**

For good measure, I fired an Ice Beam shot at the head, before stepping into the portal.

**Next time: Technology meets magic when Sam and E-Mir enter the land of Alagaesia. On a continent wracked by civil war, they must choose whether or not to be noticed.**

**As far as my own reflections, I feel like, overall, this is maybe the second-weakest chapter(after Chapter 1, naturally). Blame can be shifted all around:**

**After I published the previous chapter, I spent a week recovering. The next week, I spent time looking for information. The Tales wiki is lacking strongly on information. I had to scrounge all over the Internet for what little I could find.**

**Then, it was time for my vacation. Built-up overtime, as well as work during vacation, helped me get a month away from it all in India and Sri Lanka-beautiful places if you can look past the trash.**

**And so, this whole chapter was written over the last two weeks, in between catching up on work.**

**But enough about me.**

**FemaleKirbyXMetaKnight Fanboy: (God, that's a long name. And why do you change it so often?) Unfortunately, your OC was submitted past the deadline, so it will not be featured.**

**Yes, I did Sonic the Hedgehog(he isn't sucky, not by a long shot. Sure, Sonic Next-Gen sucked balls, but otherwise, I liked all his games. Even the Werehog, who I thought gave a nice change of pace) instead of Halo. Halo is totally overused in regards to Metroid crossovers.**

**I will NOT-repeat NOT- be shipping Sam and Zoe together. I have other plans for their love lives.**

**And one last request: if you follow and/or have favorited this story, send a review with an explanation why- from a few words to whole chapter's worth. Anything.**

**And don't forget to just read and review for the sake of it. Reviews should also have praise or suggestions for improvement.**

**ARandomDay out. Peace!**


	28. Ancient Language Barrier

E-Mir and I exited the portal and looked around. We were in a clearing, surrounded by Earth pines. The temperature was relatively high, resulting in several heat shimmers. A quadruped of some sort, grazing in shrubs, noticed us and fled. Just then, I heard a _whoosh_ and something clonked me on the head. Rubbing my skull, I turned to see my transmitter-the one I had given to the Doctor-lying at my feet. A note was attached:

"_To Whom It May Concern:_

_Hello, Sam. I admit I got this to you a bit late, but since I don't think you've really done anything, no harm done._

_By the way, I'm surprised you've kept your Pokemon Trainer outfit. That thing is tough as nails!_

_And finally, the last key is a nice, yellow gem with a man who rides flying lizards. I suggest tact and diplomacy. So have your Luminoth friend get the key._

I ripped the note off and tossed it aside.

"Nice place," noted E-Mir. She dug her feet into the ground. "This world is just oozing with energy, even more than Aether. But that leaves the question, where is all this energy coming from?"

I shrugged and started walking in what I judged was southwest. E-Mir was right behind, still pondering the mystery of the forest. She broke from her thoughts to try and stop me from butchering and consuming a quadruped similar to the one we had encountered, to little success. After that break, we soon entered a clearing-technically. The flora was far less abundant than deeper in the forest. However, the trees were much larger, and it appeared as if houses were carved into them. I sensed movement. At the very edge of the tree line were humanoids with slim, tall bodies, primitive clothing, intelligent eyes, and quite pointy ears. The humanoids reminded me of star elves. They watched us carefully, wondering whether or not we were a threat. My head began to ache.

**That's because we're being psychically probed!**

**It's almost as bad as anal probing.**

_**Nothing**_** is as bad as that. **

**We are so awesome that we can talk, shield, AND fight the mental probe.**

**That psychic paper amplifies everything!**

I observed the elves further. They were clearly under stress and concentration. Beside me, E-Mir's brow was furrowed, although she was having a much better time than the humanoids.

"Advanced psychic training," she explained when she caught my eye.

"The Luminoth are skilled telepaths. We usually only communicate via our minds. So to keep some thoughts private, we learn to block them off and ward off intruders. Never attack, though."

We stood locked in combat with the telepaths. Then one of them gasped.

**I've broken its mental shield!**

**Wow, these creatures are old.**

**Real old. But that doesn't matter.**

**Time to turn this sucker into a drooling wreck.**

As if a switch was flipped, the creature collapsed, babbling in a tongue that I couldn't understand. Spittle flew from its lips. The other elves fled back, keeping their minds blocked. Once they were gone from view, we continued walking.

"Why did you kill that one?" E-Mir questioned. I shrugged.

"You are more callous than I was told. What has changed you so?"

**Possibly killing, near death experiences, broken trusts, shattered friendships, and an ongoing fusion with one of the worst predators known to sentient life.**

**Also, I didn't like the way he was looking at us.**

I shrugged. E-Mir sighed, and said, "Let's go. And please refrain from causing an ecological disaster, please."

We continued trekking through the forest. The clearing was left in our wake, and we soon happened upon a massive tree. E-Mir examined it, and then dug her feet into the ground. She gasped. "This tree is the root of all energy in the area! What is more, it is-!"

E-Mir writhed and collapsed. Oddly, her feet stayed in the ground. I stepped forward to examine her.

**Vitals are normal, but her brain waves are off the charts. She's either communicating with something incredibly powerful…**

**Or she's having a seizure.**

**Take your pick.**

**It's more or less the same.**

E-Mir sat up suddenly. She gasped yet again.

"It… it spoke! It spoke to us!"

**And what did it say?**

"To answer your question, consciousness riding shotgun, as you humans say, it told me in no uncertain terms to leave. We are disturbing the sanctity of its domain. In addition, it seems to fear you, mainly because it doesn't understand you."

**And it understands you?**

"Quite well. I let it poke around in my mind."

**Because…**

"It mollified the creature, this 'Menoa Tree', and kept it peaceful."

**If keeping it quiet means not having to fight any Ents, I'm all for it. Let's roll. **

**Literally.**

I curled into a ball and rolled off. E-Mir's wings unfurled and she lifted off. This faster method of transportation lent us a quick way out of the forest. We emerged from the forest into a war zone. Humans in armor clashed with more of the elven humanoids. The humans were clearly losing, but there were so many of them that it would take too long to wait for the fight to end. Instead, I waded into the fray. Humans and elves alike dropped to beam shots. A few unlucky ones were butchered manually. The combat soon died down as the combatants noticed me. They distanced themselves quickly, unwilling to get within my range. I beckoned E-Mir forward. She grimaced at the bodies, and then moved on. We left the humans gazing fearfully in our direction. Some of the elven humanoids adopted looks of concentration that signified telepathy/kinesis. I eyed them as we walked away.

We followed a river south to an incredibly primitive settlement. The roofs were made of a plant substance. As the buildings grew inwards, they grew taller as well. A large analog sign was stuck at the perimeter of the settlement. E-Mir examined it. She grimaced. " I can't read it. It seems to be in a dialect of Basic from the Pre-Galactic-Era. Well, this sign proves that we have gone back in time. Here I assumed we were only jumping through space. Unless this dimension's perception of time is dilated. Of course, we could just be on an incredibly primitive planet. One of them. We should probably go around. I don't want to antagonize the locals."

On cue, screams rang out from the settlement.

"Damn," E-Mir cursed. She moved back. I quietly moved behind a building. The screams persisted, now with an extra helping of maniacal laughter.

Flames began to sprout along buildings from an unseen central source. I leaped onto a rough, plant roof to look around. A black _draconus tyrannus, _a long extinct species popularly known as a dragon, rampaged over the city, spewing flames and wreaking havoc. On its back, a Luminoth whom I recognized as X-Sol cackled maniacally.

**Well what do you know.**

We locked eyes and exchanged savage looks. Then X-Sol wheeled his flying lizard towards me. It dove in my direction, but as soon as its claws were ready to tear into my flesh, I leaped and grabbed said claws. From there, I scaled the lizard's body, determined to rend the flesh from X-Sol's skull, pausing occasionally to gouge out chunks in the hide of his ride. I stopped briefly to chortle at the rhyme, and was immediately whacked upon the head by a shiny sword. It failed to pierce my skin, but certainly hurt. I looked up to see X-Sol wielding said blade disgustedly.

"Look at this. Just look. The weapon is pathetic. I know any number of laser batons that could slice clean through you but this so-called sword is a piece of junk," X-Sol growled, swinging the sword. He eyed it one more time, then tossed it away. While he had been engaging in a monologue, I had been climbing up the lizard, and slashed out at him. The blow failed to slice him in half, but it did connect with his spine. He collapsed and growled at me.

"Nice move. But don't think it'll stop me."

_"I know. Maybe this will."_

I curled into a Morph Ball and planted a bomb. It went off. X-Sol was swallowed up in the explosion and turned into a mass of X particles. With his disintegration, his dragon vaporized too. Into a mass of antimatter particles.

_SHIT!_

I jumped and spiraled towards the ground, hoping to get far enough away from the antimatter before it reacted and exploded. No such luck. The antimatter combusted, and a massive explosion built up. Because of real matter's dampening effect on antimatter, the explosion was sluggish. But it still expanded rapidly, quickly annihilating the X parasites that used to be X-Sol.

**Only got one chance. I really hope this works…**

A portal opened up below me, and I fell into its maw.

I fell through the warp, which opened up shortly- around a planet.

**Better get down there.**

On my back, air jets opened up, and I angled my way down into the atmosphere. Gravity soon took hold, and I rocketed downwards. A heat aura soon built up from my body. Trying to see through the haze, I watched a settlement at ground level rapidly increase in size as people scattered from a central point. The point didn't look like anything was wrong. Then I realized where I was aimed at.

_WAIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIIII-_

_**BRAKOOSH**_**! **

I slammed into the ground with a muted _whumph_. The _whumph_ was muted by the shockwave caused by my body falling to space. That shockwave pretty much decimated the area. As I got up, I noticed that several people had broken my fall. Their corpses were flattened, and liquids were leaking out of them every which way. I wasn't much concerned for them, looking myself over to make sure that I was still intact. Amazingly, my Pokemon Trainer clothes were barely rumpled.

**What the hell do they make those with?**

**Mareep fur strengthened with the outer coating of dead Metagross.**

**Ahh. For comfort, durability, and protection.**

The buildings around me hadn't fared much better either. Whereas even an average shack on an average moon would have barely shaken from a blow like that, the shacks around me were reduced to rubble.

_WOOMPH_! I was struck in the back by a fiery projectile. As I turned around, I got a faceful of spiked projectiles. Most of them bounced off. Two of them didn't.

_ARCEUS CHRIST!_

I staggered around, trying to yank the projectile from my left eye. It came out with a sickening squelch sound. As I peered at the end of it, I realized that stuck to the tip was an eyeball.

_ARCEUS FUCKING CHRIST!_

I pulled the second projectile out, and my vision went black.

Soon, light appeared, as though looking through a fisheye lens. Electric charges arced about, taking the shapes of humanoids. There was nothing except them. It was now impossible to see the landscape.

**Hmm… use a Wavebuster on the ground. The sheer amount of electricity should overcome the resistance and spread out, giving you a good look.**

I followed the suggestion. It worked. Electricity spread throughout the area. It dissipated after a certain distance, but what was left was locked within the structures in the area, giving me a view for about five hundred square meters.

I watched humanoid-shaped charges making lobbing motions at other humanoids, which were stringing up some strange curved object and launching projectiles similar to the one that had removed my eyesight. I immediately stalked towards them, ignoring the projectiles that were now headed my way. A few missiles were able to decimate most of the group, although a few still stood, for reasons I could not figure out. A mental assault started pounding on my head.

**We're on it.**

The few standing humanoids twitched and fell.

**Piece of cake.**

**It's a lie.**

From the other side, the human-shaped charges cautiously moved towards me. Apparently, they believed that the enemy of their enemy was their friend.

A charge shaped like a Luminoth came to the forefront.

" 54M. How's it going?"

I examined the electricity carefully. Several horned humanoids gripped blunt weapons. A few shorter ones waved sharper ones near me. And a select few with pointed ears simply observed me. Then there was the dragon.

It was a massive lizard of unknown color. I followed its neck to its head. Atop the dragon sat another pointy-ear, who pointed its sword at me.

"Stand down, he's friendly," E-Mir called. She walked around me, observing me carefully. "Why don't we introduce ourselves?"

I stood inside a tent, watching as E-Mir conversed with her friends. There were the elves, named Eragon, Arya, and Blodhgarm. The trolls, known as Urgals, were mostly nameless, save their leader Garzhvog. The dwarves were uncomfortable around me, so I only learned the name of their leader, Orik. The only thing any of these species had in common was their allegiance to some sort of rebellion. A dark-skinned human named Nasuada commanded these representatives. I took the numbers of each race in the tent to be representative of the number of their species, save the humans. They clearly outnumbered the rest, except the dwarves. I found it interesting that the humans managed to keep control over creatures clearly more powerful than themselves. Then I returned back to the conversation as Nasuada asked, "Well?"

**She's discussing a deal.**

**You kill a town, we get our rock.**

**Easy.**

I nodded.

"Excellent," she said.

Her friends didn't look nearly as pleased. They watched me carefully. I detected hints of mental presences, but they merely danced around the edges of my mind, like the buzz of a Horbathion brain tick.

"Great," E-Mir said. "We'll complete the job, and come back for the gem."

She grabbed my shoulder and steered me out of the tent. As we walked through the campsite the tent was in, E-Mir started talking.

"Just where the hell have you been?" she questioned.

I shrugged.

"What kind of answer is that? You leap onto the back of a goddamned dragon. That dragon then goes nuclear in an antimatter explosion. Four weeks after that, you fall from the stratosphere. What the hell goes on in your life? And what happened in those four weeks?"

Again, I shrugged.

E-Mir looked exasperated. "One day, you have to see a therapist and a _real_ telepath, not these pretenders. Now come on, we have a town to capture."

On our way out of the campsite, we were accosted by murderous glares. Many men wielding sharp sticks waved them at me threateningly. I showed them a lightning storm by firing a Wavebuster into the sky. As we were almost out of the campsite, a man with a blunt object blocked our path. He glared at me threateningly. I gave him a grin. He definitely seemed shaken by that, but stood his ground.

"Listen well, Ra'zac. I may let you go this time, but only as long as Nasuada says so. As soon as your deal is over, you're mine."

Then he grudgingly stepped aside. E-Mir and I stepped past. I grinned back at him. His eyes narrowed.

From the campsite, we trekked south, taking in the local color. When we were near our destination, we came across a swamp with strange electrical signals.

"Hmm… some sort of self-contained light source. Interesting," E-Mir noted as we slogged through the swamp. Finally, though, we were at our destination. A wall of an electrically resisting material blocked our path, although sluices in the wall let water through.

"Let's go about this with subtlety," E-Mir again cautioned. I shrugged, and started looking around. Finding stealthy ways to enter the area lent it a challenging, exciting feel, aided by the fact that my vision was hindered. Then I struck upon a plan.

**Alright. Let's see what the Luminoth has to say about it.**

With the psychic paper, I explained my idea to E-Mir. She pondered it for several minutes before agreeing to it.

"Let's begin," she said.

I dove into the river and sank. I was virtually blind underwater because everything conducted electricity- it was like being in a snowstorm. Thankfully, E-Mir kept me oriented with the occasional psychic directive. I made my way to the sluices and curled into a Morph Ball. Then I rolled through the sluices and into the town. Once past the gates, I surfaced and climbed onto the dock. A Wavebuster was enough to grant me vision again. Using my electrically enhanced senses, I was able to detect the pathways of soldiers walking all around me. Using this knowledge, I systematically butchered each soldier near the waterfront. They were delicious. Then I carved a hole in the wall with a Plasma Beam to let E-Mir in. We strolled through the night-darkened streets, occasionally frying an unlucky trooper or two. I did the frying, though. We crossed the town and located the palace.

"All right," E-Mir muttered, "let's go in, capture the lord, and come out. Stealthily. Having the whole garrison of the town come down will slow us, and time in this dimension is already slower than back in ours. We have no time to waste."

With that in mind, I quietly set about to opening a hole in the wall. Meanwhile, judging by the sounds, E-Mir was distracting every single human within a hundred-meter radius, but she still managed to keep a mental link with me.

As the last chunks of magma dripped from the castle wall and solidified, E-Mir landed beside me. We entered the building.

Just how incredibly primitive was this planet? Not a single motion sensor or even patrol droid in sight. Just organic guards who dropped like plasma pins on a torus circuit. We essentially massacred everything in our way, which was everything. It was probably the smell of blood, organs, burning tapestries, and my eating of a guard's insides that caused our target, some lord or the other, to surrender immediately. E-Mir escorted him and his family away, while I waited in the town to keep it under check. It was fun. The townsfolk kept trying to stage rebellions, which were quickly put down. A few were able to use some sort of energy projectile to bruise me, but nothing serious. It was after five days of this that E-Mir and the reinforcements arrived. They toured the town, and were surprised that not a single person bore arms against them. With a subjugated town behind us, E-Mir and I trudged back through the swamp.

"Hmm. I'm impressed," said Nasuada, leader of the resistance group.

"In two days, a group of two not only delivers the objective, but manages to keep the entire town in check. How?"

E-Mir looked at me, and my lips bared open in a demented smile. She looked back, and grimly answered, "Believe me, you don't want to know."

The leader took one look at my grin and said, "I believe you. Now, back to business. I suppose it is time to honor our bargain. Look, but don't touch."

One of the elves unwillingly unwrapped a cloth bag to reveal a brilliant, multifaceted gem. I stared at it.

**Your Metroid senses are tingling.**

**This is definitely the third key. Question is, what else is it?**

_What do you mean?_

**It looks like the X just latched onto this thing. It's something else… some sort of storage for a consciousness.**

**Huh. Guess their science is advanced in some areas after all.**

**Now, how do we coax the X out?**

**I suggest touching it.**

I drew closer to the gem. The elves became more and more wary. They weren't wary enough to stop me from knocking it to the ground.

"NO!" one of the elves cried in fury. He drew his sword and then stopped. As the gem lay on the ground, cracked, its surface began to heal. X ooze dripped from the rifts to the ground, where it conglomerated into an X-Core. The gem itself now lay unscathed upon the floor. But we had more pressing concerns.

"Son of a bitch!" E-Mir gasped. The elves drew back. One of them cursed in a strange language.

The X-Core made to possess him. I warded it off with a missile shot. It quickly exited the tent, and we gave chase. Outside, trolls were trying to attack it. The humans were fleeing from it, the elves studying it, and the dwarves were assisting the trolls.

"Tell them to retreat!" E-Mir told Nasuada. She gave E-Mir a look of discontent. Then when one of the trolls was possessed and turned into a giant tentacle rape troll, she gave the order. E-Mir and I made for the Troll-X. It leered at us, and waved its tentacles around.

**I've seen enough hentai...**

**To know where this is going!**

E-Mir and I aimed bolts at the Troll-X's head. It simply batted them away with its tentacles, which just happened to be at the right place at the right time.

"Wait! It's following an attack pattern!" E-Mir called. She began to study it closer. Then at a random moment, she struck. Her energy whip lashed out and left a rent in the Troll-X's deformed chest.

"Strike every twenty seconds. After each strike, subtract two seconds from the cooldown time until you hit zero. Then repeat from twenty seconds again."

We followed through. Soon enough, the last bits of flesh dripped from the skeleton of the Troll-X. The skeleton dissolved into the Core-X. A few missiles later, and it compacted itself, shrinking and changing shape until it was in the visage of a yellow, gleaming jewel. I picked it up and inserted it into the transmitter. Meanwhile, E-Mir was thanking the others for their help. She rejoined me, and I booted up the transmitter. A pitch-black warp portal opened up, and I stepped through, E-Mir close behind.

The portal was particularly turbulent. Energy bolts flashed all around us. Thankfully, we arrived safely. When we stepped out, though, we were greeted by absolutely nobody. The laboratory was empty. E-Mir and I walked through the complex, seeing nobody. As we approached the upper floors, we could hear voices engaged in heated discussion. The topic? A suicide assault on SR388. The voices were in a heated frenzy when E-Mir and I stepped in.

The room immediately quieted. I looked around and saw thousands, if not millions, in the room. All sorts of species and alliances had formed. Krikens sitting next to Vhozons, humans and Star Elves bumping fists, even krogans and salarians kept the peace with each other.

I held up the transmitter, with the three keys inside. The room erupted again, but this time with cheers.

**Next time: Preparation for the final assault begins. What has changed while our hero[es] was gone?**

**Damn. Nine weeks without even a peep. Sorry, but I've been busy. Busy how?**

**If you see a Spy or a Scout on Team Fortress 2 named 'vaidyan5', guess who.**

**I've completed two Nuzlocke Challenges.**

**I recently acquired a device known as an Arduino. In the weeks I've had it, I've turned an aluminum diorama into a makeshift Kinect, hacked an RC car, and made a Nerf gun fire by mind control.**

**Oh yeah, and writer's block. SEEEERIOUS WRITER'S BLOCK.**

**And now for replies:**

**A Semi Depressed Dalek Nerka: Sorry, but-as I may have already said- I won't be accepting any more OCs. And yes, I did say there was a deadline.**

**Darkfire Dragon28: I can just FEEL the waves of disappointment rolling of you. Honestly, I'm disappointed myself. But it wasn't all my fault. There was barely any information on the Tales wiki to use.**

**Vulaan Kulaas: Oh, I'm sorry, did I kill off X-Sol in the first thousand words? TROLOLOLOLOLOL!**

**Samus PWNS the Chief hard: Seriously, did everyone get a name change? But as to your question, I pretty much killed off Matt. He wasn't my own OC, and as such, I felt no real connection to him. And about Sonic '06? Pretty widely considered to be the turning point, where Sonic the Hedgehog did a nosedive in quality. And I have to agree. Buying powerups? Hell naw.**

**Draconic: Take an aspirin. **

**Don't forget to read and review. Speaking of reviews, please focus on the story. Replying to my commentary should just be a side dish. Constructive criticism and/or praise requested.**

**ARandomDay out. Peace!**


	29. Battle Plans

Just a few hours later, I found myself inside a large hangar, standing in the corner as hundreds of people milled around. Then the holoscreen on the far end of the room turned on. Samus Aran, a hologram of the Kriken High Emperor, the members of the Galactic Council, and even a few Parthaxians, among others, all sat around a conference table. The meeting of the galaxy's highest-and most shadowy- leaders had begun. At the center of the table and discussion lay the three keys. Immediately, the Asari matriarch put forward the most relevant topic:

"We have the keys. How do we proceed from here?"

"The way I see it, we have two objectives," a Mandalorian said.

"We have to first shut down the shield and then storm SR388."

"And how exactly do we shut off the shield?" pointed out one of the Parthaxians.

The room was silent. In the hangar, hundreds of people simultaneously halted their respirations.

I looked around the room as onscreen, the council formulated their thoughts.

A Galvan piped up through a voice enhancer, "I postulate that the keys form a manual override."

"Explain," the Asari demanded.

"We know for a fact that the shield around our target is of baryonic radiation, correct?"

"Correct," the Mandalorian replied.

"Therefore, the generator must be powered by baryonic matter. We also know that these keys give off powerful electromagnetic radiation, which is how we were able to find them."

"…Where are you going with this?" questioned a Neimoidian.

"It is an almost unknown fact, but electromagnetic radiation at very high frequencies can neutralize baryonic radiation. Each key emits at a frequency of only about 1020, but when brought together, their frequencies are cubed, to produce an electromagnetic frequency of 1060, easily strong enough to neutralize the baryonic radiation. Therefore, we have two options. We can either bring these objects close to the shield itself to neutralize it. Or we can seek out the shield generator and destroy it."

"As always, Azmuth, your knowledge is indispensable. But which is the better strategy?" asked the Asari.

The Parthaxian spoke. "I suggest we destroy the shield generator. It will both bring down the shield and render it irreplaceable."

The holo of the Kriken interjected, "We should simply neutralize the shield itself. This way we can concentrate all of our forces on the target."

"Perhaps, but what if the shield is put back up midway? We risk losing a large chunk of the attacking force!" the Mandalorian replied sarcastically.

"We don't even know where the shield generator is! Baryonic radiation can be emitted from up to half a parsec away. There are thousands of rocks within that area large enough to house the generator. And there's also the possibility that the shield generator is located _behind_ the shield itself!"

The room quickly burst with conflicting arguments. In the hangar, people began to debate themselves. The disturbance was silenced by a high-pitched sonic wail.

Onscreen, the holo of the Kriken emperor placed a larva out of sight. He grunted, "Only Kriken larvae squeal so much. To business. Who thinks we should find the shield generator?"

The view onscreen pulled back to an overhead view of the council. I counted eighty-seven council members in favor.

"And who thinks we should strike directly?" the Asari questioned.

I counted eighty-seven council members. Everyone except Samus Aran had now voted.

Two hundred and three cranial centers at the council area turned expectantly to the bounty hunter. Almost two thousand eyes in the hangar stared at her visage through the screen.

It was impossible to make out what she was thinking. Finally, she exhaled.

"I hate both options… but I'm going with the second one."

Exhales of relief blended with sighs of disappointment, both onscreen and within the hundreds of hangars within the Chozo facility.

**Good choice.**

**Bad choice.**

**Of course you'd say that. You always take the riskier option.**

**It's better than the other one.**

I ignored the conversation, knowing how it would end. I wandered through the facility. It was much bigger than I had remembered from my brief time on the planet. Dozens of chambers had been constructed to accommodate the hundreds of species that had taken up residence. By looking through the transparent plastisteel ceiling, I could also see gravity lifts that led to an orbiting habitation ring. While staring at the ring, I bumped into someone. I quickly focused my attention down towards a smaller version of Samus Aran, who I quickly recognized as her daughter. She held hands with a Mandalorian. Interestingly enough, the Mandalorian did not sport muscles of any kind, or really anything that related to his warfare-based heritage. He had pale skin and the gleam in his eyes screamed eyePodsTM.

The younger Aran eyed me critically. Then she led her friend away. He kept looking back over his shoulder at me.

**Hmm.**

**Didn't take her for the social kind.**

**Was that even a Mando? It was impossible to tell…**

I passed through a door into a darkly colored chamber. Within, thousands of Ing milled around. I noted Zeno issuing commands from the center of the room. As I was on the fringes of the room, I went unnoticed. The Ing's leader seemed confident, but also blustery. Upon exiting, I strolled around some more, noticing some Pokémon trainers. They ferociously issued orders to their monsters. I stood back and watched as the Pokémon brutalized each other. It was mildly amusing. Eventually, the beasts were too exhausted to fight, at which point they were recalled and the trainers exited the arena. The last person remaining was a girl, named Leaf. She had yet to recall her Pokémon. Instead, she knelt down and uttered words of encouragement. It seemed silly to me. She recalled the monsters and strolled out, stopping to take a look at me. The girl seemed about to say something, and then paused, mouth partially open. She closed it and left the room at a slightly faster pace. I made to follow her, then decided not to. Instead, I took a gravity lift to the habitation ring. I stopped by the Jovian pod. Inside the soft, rounded area, I recognized Callisto. She regaled her fellow Jovians with stories of her exploits. I heard my name mentioned multiple times, though it took me some seconds to recognize it. A couple of her audience members noticed me, although judging by their blank stares, they didn't recognize me either. Callisto was completely unaware of my presence. I listened to her story, a moderately interesting one that occasionally intersected with my own. Then I moved on to the harsher, jagged, freezing pod that was home to the Phryigisians and Vhozons, among others. The two predominant water-based species duked it out in preparation for the siege. Their ice-based weaponry was ineffective against the other, forcing them to resort to efficient yet brutal appendage-to-appendage combat. It was an interesting sight, and I digested some of the observations for later use. Then I walked into the human pod. The stark, metal-based rooms that made up the pod were cramped and cold, although decorated quite heavily. Most of the noises came from a large room, where many of the humans crowded around a holoscreen. I moved on to the next pod, where quarians decontaminated their suits in their sterile environment, and the next pod, to watch krogans duke it out. I continued cycling through the pods until I looped back to the gravity lift. I returned to the planet's surface and decided to rest in a corner.

Two days later, as I wandered through the facility, a voice came on.

"All troops, report to their designated hangar! Repeat, all troops report to their designated hangar! Departure in six millicycles. Repeat, departure in six millicycles."

As I jogged towards nowhere in particular while listening to the computer endlessly repeat, I bumped into Agent Z. She gave me a look, and then gestured for me to follow, which I did. We arrived in a hangar that was drastically smaller and lit differently than any I had seen before. Within stood a group of powerful people. The Arans, E-Mir, a squadron of Hunter Ing-which explained the lighting-, several Galvanic Mechamorphs, a Krogan spec ops team, and several other, more dangerous species. Samus Aran, who was apparently leading this team, spoke to us.

"Listen up. Our job is to plant this as close as we can to the center of SR388. Most of you are going to die. So deal with it."

As she spoke, she showed us a class-A afloraltite fusion bomb. A few whistled or made comparable noises when observing it.

"Well, that's all fine and-how do you say it?-dandy, but how exactly do we plant it near the core?" a Krogan asked.

"SR388 is riddled with tunnels, most of them carved out by magma shafts. So at least one of those tunnels leads nearby."

"How do you propose we reach the core without getting vaporized?"

"SR388 is one of the few planets with a plasma outer core. The planet's own magnetic field keeps the plasma in check. So we should be able to find a tunnel that leads to the inner core. Luckily enough, the plasma's magnetic pull counteracts the pressure at the core, so as long as you're not stupid enough to get within thirty meters of the plasma, you'll be fine."

"I already hate this plan," Agent Z observed dryly.

"No one's paying you to hate it. They're paying you to execute it. Now get on a ship. We're leaving," Samus Aran ordered.

The room cleared as people entered their ships , leaving me standing in the center.

**So. This is it.**

**It all comes down to this.**

**I never imagined this, even when being whacked by a hammer. Visiting whole universes, new worlds, new creatures, new technology… new host body… it's been quite an experience.**

**Why exactly are you saying this?**

**Felt like the right time, considering the lack of emotion now present in this guy.**

**True enough. Anything you'd like to say, **_**Sam**_**?**

Emphasis was placed on the word, but I didn't recognize it.

Agent Z walked back into the doorway.

"Bug boy, with me."

I took offense at the term, but moved forward. I followed Agent Z into a small but serviceable _Firespray-31_ ship. She took the controls, while I sat uncomfortably at the gunner's pod.

"Begin takeoff procedure 110-Montauk!" came a voice over the com.

"Affirmative! Activating thrusters… Flipping stabilizers… Warp drive functional. Ready for liftoff!" Agent Z responded.

"Affirmative. You may lift off in twenty-seven nanocycles," the voice said.

Agent Z counted down, and we lifted off.

**Next time: The final battle for the fate of the galaxy!** **Can our heroes destroy the planet, or will they go out with a bang?**

**ReinSohma: Think of it as a Bohemian Rhapsody, and provide some constructive criticism.**

**Samus PWNS the Chief hard: Constructive criticism appreciated and utilized.**

**I'm sorry.**

**For all my readers out there, I'm sorry.**

**My update schedule has been weak, going for goddamn months without updates. I've turned into the kind of writer I despise: a slow one. And has that even guaranteed quality? Not for my most recent crossover episodes, no(except the Sonic the Hedgehog chapter). **

**I have plenty of reasons-and excuses-for not updating, but the three big ones are:**

**Family issues**

**Lack of inspiration**

**Holidays**

**But now that we're just a chapter away from the end, I'm going to sober up and write faster and better this time.**

**This story has been a learning experience for me. Next time I write, it'll be of higher quality-and hopefully faster.**

**Speaking of better, constructive criticism-or praise-always accepted to make me a better writer.**

**So read and don't forget to review!**

**ARandomDay out. Peace!**


	30. Endgame

The woman known as Agent Z to most, Zoe by some, and Zuzu by one frowned, her brows furrowed in concentration. She knew that the strange creature behind her couldn't see through the helmet she wore, but she still felt that even via a reflection in a cockpit, he-it had no trouble looking into her eyes. Zoe Aran knew who the beast was. She was in the minority. Most of the resistance didn't even know of its existence. When it had appeared in the council room and raised the jewel, most people had thought that it was the Luminoth that had done it. Of those who knew about it, only one treated it with something other than distrust and disgust. Once it had been a dark-skinned bipedal carbon-based ape. Now it was something more reptile than man. Its jet-black carapace covered its dome-like head. A jagged tail poked out, while pointed claws rubbed against each other. Worst of all, a human skull was visible behind the triple nuclei resting within the translucent head.

Zoe Aran knew who it once was. It was that kid Sam, who had shown up from nowhere at the Grand Cathedral. She had liked him a bit at first sight. He got things done, and darker-skinned boys appealed to her. Then every time she saw him, he looked a little bit darker. When he disappeared, she completely forgot about him, and found a boyfriend. Truth be told, her mother disapproved of the Mandalorian, but considering she had yet to meet her own father, she ignored Aran anyway.

She put it from her mind when a voice crackled on the comm channels, "SR388 within two hundred thousand kilometers."

At this, the creature in the back looked up. Its claws clenched. She wasn't worried. Her own hands were tightening, even in the suit. Around her, the armada of the Coalition was holding in a collective breath.

SR388 appeared without a hitch. The Galvan ship launched a preliminary torpedo to test the range of the shield. Then it all went wrong.

As soon as the torpedo struck the shield, an entire armada materialized around it. The atmosphere was racked with bolts. Agent Z swerved sharply and launched concussive rockets, as fighter crafts all around her disintegrated into shrapnel. As she closed in on the planet, the comm channels crackled with alerts, messages, and plans.

"Launching shield disruptor in three millicycles. All strike teams regroup at zone 9å∑!"

She swerved to reach the zone. She could hear low rumbles from the creature behind her and hoped to God that those growls were aimed at the Unitologists. She reached the sector, where several of the strike teams' crafts were engaged in dogfights, and quickly deployed some hypersonic blasts, helping clear some space. Soon, zone 9å∑ was cleared.

The Galvans launched the disruptor. The thin bolt stretched from their ship to the shield, where it penetrated. As the Galvan ship pressed the advantage, stretching open the shield, a perfectly circular hole appeared, the edges of which were struggling to close. As she flew in, the creature behind her flew into a rage. It thrashed about, flailing furiously and still emitting those low growls. One stray claw tip pierced the console.

"_WARNING! Auto stabilization malfunction!"_ The craft began spiraling out of control, as she fought back for it. Through the spinning windshield, she saw an energized proton torpedo strike the Galvan ship. It silently exploded, and the planetary shield began to close. The creature still flailed about. Another stray claw tip pressed a button.

Without a sound, the rear cockpit of the craft ejected, which coupled with the rotation of the fighter craft, sent the creature through the shield, forcing the fighter to slow down. She pulled out of the dive just in time to keep from crashing into the newly regenerated shield, although a wingtip was sheared off.

"_Goddamn," _she thought. She desperately made a twist of the controls, and the craft limped towards the Unitologist battleship.

Kari was bored. She sat in the cockpit of a fighter jet, idly fusing her fingers together. There was less of her than she would have liked; they had literally stripped her of large quantities of her nanites and then performed mass inoculations of every single member of the Coalition- all thirty trillion-to render them immune to X parasites. Given enough material, the nanites could reproduce, but seeing as how she was forbidden to repossess any of the metal on the ship, she would have to deal with it until something crashed. The fighter jet drew closer. The Galvans launched a proton torpedo to test the range, and then things got interesting. She whooped and quickly integrated with the fighter craft, barrel rolling, swooping, and performing pseudo-kamikaze runs on every ship she could see. Then she was blasted from behind, and her craft nosedived through the gap in the planetary shield.

The consciousness formerly known as Dark Link was worried, odd for such a cocky personality. Even stranger was the fact that he was not-in a sense-worried for himself. He was worried about his host, and the hundreds of personalities bubbling within the chip implanted within his host's skull. This consciousness lived in said chip, sharing it with five hundred and fourteen others. Of those, he was worried about two. One was his virtual girlfriend, the consciousness formerly known as Dark Samus. Amazing what several months in a confined space could do with a relationship. The other was a malignant bastard. Ever since the trip to the space station-which one, he didn't care-, a new personality had appeared. It was dangerous. Primal. Intelligent. Psychopathic. Everything he strived to be. In essence, it was competition. Given that he had five hundred and twelve other competitions to win, a five hundred and thirteenth seemed simple.

It wasn't.

The consciousness that used to be Dark Link found itself struggling every cycle to subjugate the mysterious new personality. Every cycle it adapted, and a little more of it surfaced, slowly deleting the host's original personality. Its rival struggled to hold dominance, even as the new arrival began insidiously agglomerating its own personality into the host. The consciousness once called Dark Link was driven from its thoughts as its host was ejected from a spacecraft into the atmosphere of SR388. He wasn't too worried; this had already happened once before. The host landed with a violent explosion, annihilating the Unitologists under its landing zone. As it lay there, survivors laid into it, firing all the weaponry they had. It was partially effective. Despite having its skull and chest cavity exposed, the consciousness once called Dark Link watched as the host started walking, firing bolts of electricity at troops as it did. The host slogged through wave after wave of Unitologists, absorbing the X parasites within. Occasionally, its bloodthirsty side gave loose, and it mauled unlucky souls nearby, its growls mingling with their pained screams. As it absorbed parasites, its wounds began healing. However, with all of the fire it was sustaining, its overall condition remained the same: a reptile that should have never existed.

As it fought its way into the tunnels of the planet, the consciousness once called Dark Link watched all of this and was worried.

A famous bounty hunter spearheaded the assault on SR388. As she partially issued commands, her mind was spinning, both with how SR388 was fortified and the reason that they were here. The lizard. She recalled first encountering it, in the shape of a human, on the Pirate Homeworld. Something about it convinced her not to kill it on sight. Was it how familiar it looked? How it was the last living thing on the planet when she found it? Was it because it was a human? Or because she was just feeing merciful? Her thoughts, flying around like a shriekbat, were interrupted as she sustained heavy anti-spacecraft fire from the planet. She turned her attention to said planet and quickly led her squad through the hole in the planetary shield. As her ship hurtled through the atmosphere, she could've sworn that she saw something black falling below her.

A Unitologist experiment led the first assault. Its Geth suit performed admirably as it forced its way through waves of Unitologists. Blood spattered, bolts flashed, and screams rang out. All of this was seen by the experiment, whose visor showed no signs of its face. It brutally fought, with little regard for its target, only deciding to go forward.

Far, far away, in a separate universe, a young woman frantically searched for a way out. She had been separated from the group, and since then was stuck in a metropolitan city populated by anthropomorphic creatures. She spent her days quietly hunting for anything that might be a way home. This woman had finally begun to accept that she was destined to live and die far, far away from her home. But wait! This woman's search would not go unrewarded. Many miles from the city, she was making a final search for a way home. She stopped in a desert, desperately thirsty. A lone Earth cactus stood tall and proud. The woman attempted to slice through the cactus with a blade. Said blade bounced off the cactus with a metallic sound. The woman curiously examined the cactus. Nimbly maneuvering around the spines, she felt the cactus for a latch. A small indentation in the plant was firmly pressed, and with a hiss, the cactus and the square meter of ground below it slid firmly to the right, revealing a chrome staircase. The woman took the stairs. Down she traveled, along a winding pathway spiraling around a massive pit. The staircase wound downwards for what seemed like hours, until finally it leveled out into a narrow, low corridor. At the end of the corridor was a doorway. The doorway was open, with no sign of any security. The woman carefully entered the door. Beyond, within an octagonal chamber, a quantum entanglement device provided a pathway for a shield generator to travel through. Through the quantum entanglement field, the woman spotted the familiar dusky colors of the most famous planet in her universe. With only a moment's deliberation, she leaped through. The extra matter going through the field caused a catastrophic failure, and the quantum entanglement field shut down.

************************************************** ***************************Above SR388, the shield separating the Coalitionists from their target drastically weakened. Spotting this, the Galvan ship pressed forward, spearheading a secondary assault. A _Sentry-_class destroyer moved to intercept.

On the planet, a trio of bounty hunters faced off against another trio of hunters. Their duel caused significant collateral damage. Three once freed from the side of the Hunter's doppelgänger dueled once again for their freedom against the reanimated forms of three of the most dangerous mercenaries ever conceived in a lab.

Within the Unitologist flagship, a small fighter craft barreled through the docking bay into a gantry. Both exploded. From the wreckage rolled a small orange ball. The ball rapidly uncurled to reveal a lithe, young woman who wasted no time in decimating the rest of the bay. She strolled out calmly. Once she was through the doors, her face fell behind the visor. She had no way of getting out of the ship. Unless… she made her way to the escape pods. There were far too many soldiers running throughout the ship, forcing the woman to carefully sneak past. She rolled into balls, clambered into ventilation shafts, snapped necks, set off explosive diversions, all for one single-minded goal. Then, as she crawled through the vents, one gave way. She crashed through into a control room. Shocked scientists lined the room. One of them pulled out a Consolidated Head-Melter. It bounced off her armor, but her own shots went through their skulls. As they slid to the floor, she took the time to scan the room. The control room overlooked a massive dark matter reactor, which was channeling energy into both the engines of the ship and a generator. The generator was itself funneling energy through a magnifier, through which a beam of energy could be seen pumping into the shield around the planet, which oddly enough seemed smaller than before. She looked around the control room again.

With a tremendous explosion, the control room was swallowed in a burst of light. As she landed on the catwalks surrounding the reactor and fled, the reactor itself began growing. Without a dampening field in place, the dark matter was reacting far more quickly than had been planned for. The reactor swelled up by five hundred percent. Then it just as quickly shrunk into an infinitely dense ball. The ball compressed in on itself within an infinitesimally small amount of time, and a singularity was formed. The flagship began to bend inwards, peeling into the singularity. As it crumpled in on itself until finally vanishing, a sole escape pod rocketed away. The singularity dissipated, as if its only purpose was to destroy the ship. The shield around SR388 flickered and vanished. As the Coalition forces began to storm the planet, a bounty hunter called Agent Z sighed in relief to herself as her escape pod barreled towards the planet's surface.

With the shield down, the majority of the Coalition's forces were able to land successfully. As hordes of Pokémon, and Metroids ran interference, slowly but surely, with every centimeter paid for by a dozen lives, the Unitologists were forced back, deeper and deeper into the bowels of the planet. The Coalitionists were under no illusions. Doubtlessly these cultists would have a final trick up their sleeves. Then they made it into the tunnels successfully.

Hordes of X parasites congregated on the various troops jammed into the caverns. Even with the nanites coursing through their veins, providing immunity, as more and more X were absorbed into them, it overwhelmed many, turning them into zombies. The Coalitionists were forced to battle each other and the X. The Chozo sent Metroids into the tunnels to help, but in the confusion, they leeched as many real Coalitionists as zombies and X. When the carnage had settled, the tunnels had as well. Explosive charges set within the major cave systems detonated, trapping the wide majority of the Coalitionists into small sections of the tunnels-with X parasites. Excavation machines would arrive soon, but it was unlikely that many would survive. The lucky ones were forced back to the surface. Most were not. However, several soldiers were still able to make their way past the explosives and parasites. Twenty were Krogans. Twenty-seven were Human. Fifteen were Kriken. Forty others were composed of various other species. Two of them were Arans. One was a bloodthirsty abomination of nature.

2.5 million Coalitionists had died, 1.5 million were either zombified or trapped, and 999,895 were on the surface of the planet desperately fending off X parasites and Unitologists. Out of the five million soldiers that had begun the invasion, 104 soldiers-and some_ thing_ had made it into the Deep Core of SR388.

"Come in, Alpha Squad! Come in!" Samus Aran tersely spoke into her comms. She wasn't expecting an answer from above. The Deep Core's metallic interior reflected transmissions of all kinds: radio and FTL. She was, however, hoping to hear that she wasn't the only one down here. It would mean that her daughter might still be alive.

"Agent Z reporting . Too many casualties to count. Most of the guys got trapped when the caves collapsed. I have like twenty dudes with me," Zoe Aran called wearily.

"Commander Herder reporting. About half of my squad is trapped in the caves. We need to go back for them!"

"Commander Inos't reporting. It doesn't look good, ma'am. I have three unconscious, two dead, and those are the lucky ones."

"Commander Trace. Hive recruits _œ _through _ø_ have been incapacitated. "

"P.F.C. Johann Schmidt, Third Troop, Second Battalion, Thirty-Ninth Squadron, from _GFC_ _Esmeralda_. I am the only survivor of a cave collapse."

… And so on. As Samus listened to the various reports pore in, she cursed the Galvans. She could have easily gone in solo and detonated the bomb without a hitch. Instead, they forced her to use the army for the final assault as well. It was all very well to lead a full-scale war on a colony or planet. Attacking _THE_ planet, the homeworld and undoubtedly the production factory of X head-on was folly.

But Samus had no time for that. She had a bomb to detonate.

"This is Commander Aran. If you are able, head for the Inner Core. We're finishing this."

On the other side of the planet, but only a hundred miles away, Dark Link's thoughts raced as the dust from the cave collapses settled. His ride had completely ignored it, all sense of anything gone, just a desire to kill. It stalked downwards, tearing through whatever tried to stop it, mostly X parasites so deep within the planet. As it went, it occasionally broke into large caverns, filled with the remnants of an ancient Chozo civilization. Other remnants, such as broken eggs strewn among mighty pillars, combined to tell a tale of the planet's bright past, and descent into darkness. Dark Link examined all of this even as the creature bounded through, hunting something only it knew what.

As various X troopers flowed through the deep core, Max's mouth curled. He shuddered distastefully at the pulsing organism that lay before him, and then he exited the chamber.

Several things happened simultaneously. Forty-six hours after the beginning of the planetary assault happened, Samus Aran broke through into a colossal, colorful cavern dotted with crystals. Forty miles away, on the other side of the cavern, Dark Link's ride broke through the cavern. All around the cavern, various soldiers broke in.

A horde of X flowed to meet them. It was chaos, as the soldiers battled for their lives to make it to the center of the cavern, and detonate the bomb. Many of them failed to make it even halfway to the center. Three-fourths of the way in, only twenty-five remained. At the entrance to the chamber in the center of the room, there were five: the Arans, a Kriken Elite, a Krogan, and on the other side, unbeknownst to the others, the beast formerly known as Sam and 54M.

They went in.

The soldiers were greeted by a psychedelic swirl of colors and fumes. A titanic Core-X writhed in what appeared to be a form of birthing chamber. Tendrils snaked from it and into the various crystals dotting the chamber, forming a web that suspended it over the plasma core of the planet. As the Core-X and crystals pulsed various colors, the crystals emitted fumes, which coalesced to form X parasites at speeds of thousands per millicycle. It was how the X were constantly able to keep up such a large armada despite the numerous afloraltite bombs the Coalition repeatedly dropped on their bases. All this flew through Samus' mind as she watched the Core-X throb. It was almost hypnotizing, and she frequently found herself having to shake her head as she watched it. She pulled out the bomb, dropped it, and prepared to arm it.

" Oh, I don't think you'll want to do that," came a voice from behind her. Samus instinctively rolled as a blast of Phazon shot at where she was-the bomb. It struck. The bolt of radioactive energy sparked the detonation sequence, simultaneously priming the timer mechanism. A small timer lit up, ticking down from 1000. Samus groaned within her helmet. Now it could be neutralized. She turned away to confront her attacker. Then she stared.

It was the kid she'd met on the Pirate Homeworld, Steve or something (what the hell kind of name was Steve?) and who she kept meeting up with. Last she'd seen, he was going through some form of metamorphosis that made her want to kill him just out of precaution. She was regretting having him studied instead, as they sized each other up. His metamorphosis had apparently reversed, but now he was glowing blue. The kind of blue that signified Phazon. His eyes were shot through with the neon hue, indicating total corruption. As the Kriken and Krogan attempted to hasten the bomb sequence, they were swarmed by a group of X, instantly killing them. They then picked up Agent Z and carted her off. The boy grinned sadistically as he observed it. Then he turned to face Samus, who was discreetly charging a Plasma Beam behind her back.

"You think I'm him," he noticed.

"Who?"

"Him. My doppelgänger, Sam. You think I'm him."

"There are two of you. Motherfu-"

"Actually, there are technically 512."

"Five hundred and- never mind," Samus muttered, launching her charged Plasma Beam. The boy-Max- nimbly dodged it as it thudded into a crystal. The crystal shattered, and the Core-X screeched. Samus' eyes narrowed

"Please stop that," Max admonished Samus as she destroyed the crystals.

"I really wouldn't-" Samus ignored him as she destroyed the last crystal. The Core-X screeched. Its tendrils retracted into its body. Then it divided.

Samus found herself staring at two giant Core-X.

"See? Now there isn't enough space for them both! Thankfully-" Max was cut short as a massive hole was blasted in the cavern wall, and the _thing_ walked in.

"_He's_ not here," Max finished weakly. He glared at Samus. "I'll deal with you later. For now… Well, Sam, it appears the queen larvae is almost matured," Max stated, looking towards the thing.

"_Queen larvae?"_ Samus wondered. She swiftly moved to the bomb. Its timer was completely fried, and the digits were flickering through every digit from 1 to 100,000. Meanwhile, Max was speaking to the thing.

"So, can you talk? Or do your, ahem, _other minds_ need to speak, since you clearly can't function without them."

The creature responded without a hint of malice, "**Die.**"

With that simple statement, Samus watched as the thing lunged towards its human counterpart. Max easily sidestepped, and began talking.

"Why, Sam, don't you want to know why I work with the parasites?"

His answer came in the form of a wickedly sharp tail swinging for his face.

Ducking, Max continued. "No? Too bad. This makes it that much more aggravating for you. Where to begin… Ah. Right around your time in the Kriken arena. Right after taking your leave, I encountered a small scouting swarm of parasites in orbit 'round the planet. I considered simply killing them, but where's the fun in that? So I goaded them first, and what they had to say was quite intriguing…"

Samus had no time for the tales of a psychopath. She frantically tweaked the bomb in an effort to speed up the timer. A few wires here, a couple of plasma welds there… and the timer stopped fluctuating. Now it was at 50,000.

"At that point, I stumbled across a hive of_ internecivus raptus_ on said planet. You already know of my interest in them. So I harvested a few of them and quietly had them sent to the Titan station," Max continued, rolling underneath a barrage of missiles. The Core-X shrieked in pain as they were struck.

Samus grunted quietly as she tweaked the bomb some more. Its timer flicked down more quickly now.

"And then, of course, right after your adventure with the Pirates, what a surprise when I heard that the Unitologists had nabbed you right from under the Coalitionists' noses. One of the most important X-related discoveries, and all it took was an overriding frequency in the teleport systems to snatch it? Blew my mind. So of course I had to go see you…" The thing was growling in a low voice as it swiped futilely at Max. He was grinning as he recited his tale.

"So from there, I hadn't heard a damn thing about you or your whereabouts. Where in the galaxy did you disappear? Another universe? Without anything interesting in the present, I went on a little adventure of my own. Caused a few paradoxes here and there, and _presto_! I ensured your-and my own- existence. So you really should be thanking me!"

Samus was almost done with her rewiring. The bomb's timer flashed as it raced through the digits. It hit ten millicycles… and a burst of electrical energy struck it. This time, the bomb was completely fried. Samus almost burst into tears of frustration. She furiously glared at Max, who was perched on a stalagmite with sparks emitting from his arm.

"Did you really think I wasn't paying attention? After all this time? And I even took said time to regale you with a story. And what do you do? Try to set off a god. Damned. Bom-"

The thing crashed into Max, tearing into him as they rolled around on the ground. Shouts filled the air, as they rolled closer and closer to the Core-X. As Samus' eyes followed their trail, she hit upon an idea.

"That is _it_!" Max shouted as he extricated himself from Sam's claws. His face was bloody, and his chest was ripped to shreds. Where organs should have been, X parasites throbbed as they hastily repaired damage.

"I've been far too lenient with you! Now DIE!"

The thing growled in response as a metallic suit of armor grew over Max. It looked reminiscent of Samus' armor, but with harsher, squared edges and a sickly ivy-gray color scheme, tinged with blue. Then they collided once more.

The suit delivered a nasty uppercut to the thing, which hissed in response as it sank its teeth into the suit. As the suit flailed it off, a proboscis could be seen jabbing into the suit. The thing landed several feet away, and then its arm elongated to reveal a cannon's barrel. In response, the suit's cannon began charging. Samus ignored them as she carefully rolled the bomb towards the Core-X. They screeched frantically, and the suit turned. As it was about to pick Samus off, providence came in the form of a missile barrage that blasted the suit off its feet. The thing quickly pressed its advantage, using all of its limbs, tail, and even teeth to tear into the suit. The suit curled into a ball, held by the thing. A small round object dropped from it. Then a massive explosion consumed them both. When the dust settled, the suit had its cannon jammed in the mouth of a very badly damaged reptilian monster. Light gleamed from the barrel of the gun as the suit charged up a final shot.

"I'll see you in hell, Sam!" Max cackled as he prepared to unleash the killing blow.

"Sooner than you think."

Max and the reptile looked over at Samus, bemused. At her feet lay the afloraltite bomb. Three meters beyond that lay the shaft to the plasma core of the planet.

"No no no no nononononononoNO!" Max bellowed as he leaped off the reptile. He lunged towards Samus. She grinned behind her visor, and kicked. The bomb rolled off, into the shaft, to the frightened cries of the Core-X.

They waited for the end.

Nothing happened.

"What the-?" Samus looked over the edge. The bomb rested on a ledge just thirty meters below.

"Oh you have GOT to be kiddin-"

_WHAM!_ She was knocked off her feet as Max connected. They rolled over to the shaft. Samus wrestled for her life, craning her neck to dodge blow after blow, frantically trying to get off a charged shot. One of those shots dislodged quite a bit of debris, which came down on her cannon. It was pinned, and Samus could only wriggle it around. Her other arm clenched into a fist, which was promptly pinned by Max's feet. He stood up, aimed his cannon, and grinned.

"Alright, enough! First you-" he enunciated, firing a Wavebuster into the reptile, "and now you. It might interest you to know: right after this we are going to play with your daughter. Quite painfully, I might add."

He cackled again. "Like I said before. See you in hell!"

The shot fired. At that exact moment, the reptile pounced. Feigning its death, it sprang up and rammed into Max. They flew off Samus. Max's shot struck the debris, vaporizing it and freeing Samus.

Max and the reptile rolled into the shaft, knocking the bomb off with them.

There was no screech, no yell, and no roar. Simply a quiet _whoosh_ followed by the deep-throated roar of an afloraltite fission reaction.

Samus fled, tersely speaking into her comm system, "Bomb detonated. Evac now!"

She raced from the chamber as gouts of plasma spilled out from the shaft, incinerating the Core-X's in the middle. At the edge of the chamber, she spotted Agent Z fighting in the midst of a cloud of X. Samus quickly paused to obliterate them and free Agent Z.

"Thanks, " Agent Z panted.

"MOVE!" Samus replied. She raced off, Agent Z in hot pursuit. Their Speed Boosters kicked in, and they tore a shaft through the planet. The plasma flow quickly seeped up through the surface. Coalitionists, Unitologists, and all manner of creatures were obliterated within the shafts.

Samus and Agent Z soared upwards, clearing paths that had never before been cleared. They broke the planet's surface. Coalitionists were still being herded onto ships. Samus wasted no time in calling and locating her gunship, Agent Z with her. As the ships took off, the plasma charbroiled the surviving Unitologists.

Just twenty million miles from SR388, the Coalition armada watched quietly as great gouts of plasma consumed the planet. It collapsed inwards, and then imploded without a sound. A bright burst of light followed, and when the Coalitionists could see again, there was nothing. A quick scan brought up nothing save the vacuum of space.

As cheers broke out among the armada, Samus Aran sat quietly, mulling over the final events. A young human child she had rescued from the Space Pirates had become a reptilian monster that inadvertently saved the galaxy. Fate was a fickle mistress sometimes, she thought, and with that, turned her gunship away from the planet. Samus' gunship leaped into hyperdrive, followed by the rest of the armada.

**We're not done yet!**

**Next chapter awaits!**


	31. Epilogue

Samus sighed as she looked out the viewscreen of her gunship. Ten Earth years had passed since the X Wars had concluded. With SR388 and the X production factory destroyed, the parasites had simply dried up within the next few cycles. Things changed in ten years.

Her daughter was married.

Her friends were on their own adventures.

Her family, the Chozo, were struggling to reintegrate back into society, but the Luminoth were confident that they could ease the transition.

Many worlds and species had perished in the fight.

Samus mused to herself. Why, knowing they would not survive, had many still chosen to fight?

She supposed that she would never truly know. Then her mind turned to the task at hand.

A provisional government had taken hold, but already it faced a crisis as the Space Pirates launched a massive campaign to take the Core Worlds. Samus, of course, had been tapped to nip this problem in the bud. On her way to the Pirate Homeworld, she stopped by the hole left by SR388. Even though bicyclical scans revealed no trace of X parasites, she still felt wary of something.

Samus put her feelings aside. She had a mission to complete.

On New London, Earth, the Doctor stepped from his TARDIS and looked at the sky.

The threat of the X had ended. The prophecy of the Moth had been fulfilled. And a potential time crack had been averted.

But at what cost, he wondered.

Seventy trillion souls had been slaughtered in the war. Seventy trillion creative and unique people had been obliterated utterly.

Was the world after the X Wars worth it?

The Doctor paused, watching a Kriken larvae squirm on the lawn as it was encircled by Human and Krogan children. He watched their smiles. He listened to their excited squeals. He observed their boisterous, carefree attitudes.

Yes, he decided, it had been worth it.

In the system of FS-176, a cloud of Phazon gas frothed in orbit around the sun. From this cloud, a long, jagged tail emerged.

**END**

**Whoa. It took me a good 18 months, but Experiment 505 is finally finished.**

**This originally started out as a simple oneshot about the Space Pirates, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea.**

**I'll be honest. The last several months have been a time of sparse, low-quality updates.**

**Why? I was lazy. I suffered writer's block. I had other responsibilities. **

**Those are just the tip of the iceberg. But you don't care about that.**

**Honestly, this is by no means a work of art. But it is my brainchild. I put in the hours to type up almost 0,000 words and 392 pages. Along the way, I learned quite a bit about good writing.**

**I enjoyed most of it. The crossovers, though, I'll be honest. They were definitely the weakest parts. The last two crossovers I did were especially lazy and uninspired. But I do hope that these last two chapters made up for it.**

**Anyhow, with my rant out of the way, let's see.**

**ReinSohma: Not being very helpful there, are you? What should I improve on this 'screwed-up mess'? Still, I suppose it matters not, not now anyway.**

**Fierce Deity Wolf Link: Your OC was never meant to appear for more than a single chapter. This was MY story, after all. But still, the quality did decrease over the last couple months.**

**It's been a pleasure, actually, writing this story. I suppose that I should have more, but I don't.**

**I sprinkled generous amounts of references and allusions throughout the work. Can you find them all?**

**Read and Review, folks. Again, it's been a pleasure to write.**

**See You Next Mission!**

**-ARandomDay**


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